Chapter 11: Goodbyes

Sydney chewed her thumbnail nervously as the pilot announced their descent into Los Angeles. Her stomach was a tumultuous mess though with the seatbelt light on she knew she wouldn't be able to rush off to throw up like she'd already done half a dozen times since the light was first turned off.

'I'm not sure if it's morning sickness or nerves. Seeing as it's three o'clock in the afternoon, it's probably not morning sickness.'

Michael couldn't help but watch as she fretted, knowing that the next couple of days were going to be the hardest on her. Yet he couldn't keep his happiness at bay. Yes, she still loved the man her husband used to be – he understood that perfectly. However; the man he used to be was dead and the man he became was dying, and for that Michael was happy for her and the boys.

The plane landed with a jostle on the tarmac, the pilot pulling up to the gate as they two passengers gathered their things and exited into the warm sun of Los Angeles. The rental car was waiting for them out front, Michael groaning as he saw it was a Prius.

"Really? The place where Hummers roam free and we get a Prius."

A smile formed on her mouth as they tossed the luggage in the back and jumped in, the drive to the hospital putting Sydney's nerves even more on edge.

"You okay? I didn't want to bug you on the plane, but now would be the time to ask any questions if you have any." Silence was his answer as she sat with her head propped up on her hand, eyes watching the buildings whiz by. "You hungry?"

"If I talk I think I'll throw up, let's just get there, okay?"

Her request was soft but audible and Michael got quiet once again, patting her knee with his hand as the rest of the drive went by painfully slow due to the lack of conversation.

The hospital was bustling, Michael dropping her off at the entrance with instructions to get directions and wait for him in the lobby. Sydney agreed as she walked quietly into the foyer and up to the front desk.

"Hello, I'm looking for Richard Montgomery's room, please."

The large woman sighed and set her tabloid down, opening a cabinet and flipping through the paperwork with long and extravagantly painted fake nails. She stopped and looked up at the brunette before her. "You family?"

"I…I'm his wife."

"Floor six, room 6147. Take those elevators up to four, and then switch to the elevators across the hall to get to six."

"Thanks," Sydney muttered, the receptionist going back to her juicy magazine as Michael walked in at a brisk pace.

"Hey, you find his room?"

She nodded, her face pale as they jumped into the elevator, her stomach turning a loop as it started to rise. Leaning back against the steel wall she closed her eyes, opening them to look at the man next to her as he reached out and took her hand, wrapping his fingers around hers.

His reassuring smile grounded her as they transferred to the other set of elevators and ended up on the sixth floor.

…

A loud thump reverberated through the living room, Jack and Laura sharing confused glances as they peeked over at Noah sleeping soundly on the couch. "Must be Jake, I'll go check on him." Jack folded his paper up and climbed out of the comfortable chair, leaning down to pull the blanket back over his two-year old grandson before going off in search of the older brother.

He heard rustling and more thumps the closer he got to the boy's room. Peeking through the semi-open door his eyes widened at the sight of the small five-year old jumping on his suitcase in an attempt to close it so the zipper would work. Packed to the brim with toys and a pillow Jack knocked on the door as he leaned against the frame.

"Jaky, what are you doing?"

The little boy froze when he heard the knock, but when he spotted his grandfather he climbed down off of his suitcase and ran crying into his legs. "I can't get it closed, papa!"

"Why do you need to big guy?"

"Cuz I have to go save mommy!"

Jack hefted the child up and carried him to the edge of the bed, perching Jake on his lap as he sat on the soft comforter. "What do you mean?"

"Daddy is a bad guy like in my books. He says a nice thing and then he gives her owies. He's going to hurt my mommy. I hafta go be her hero!" Jake covered his eyes with his hands as he cried, Jack pulling him close and rocking him back and forth.

"Oh, Jacob, nothing is going to happen to your mommy. She didn't go back home to be with your daddy." The grandfather paused, remembering his promise to Sydney to keep Rick's whole situation away from the boys until she got back from L.A. to explain it to them, especially Jake. 'This is one promise I'll have to break.'

"Jake, look at me." It took a moment but Jack managed to pull the little boy's hands away from his face and get his big blue eyes to meet his. "Your daddy…he got into an accident. He's…he's going to go to heaven." 'Or rather not, but Jake doesn't need to know the ins and outs of the folly of choosing bad deeds over good ones.'

"What?"

"He…he's going to go away for forever."

'Good lord, I'm a psychologist and I can't find the words to explain death to a five-year old.'

Jake stopped crying, though a few hiccups slipped out, and Jack could feel his little body loosen up from it previously tensed position. "Forever?"

"Forever. Plus, Michael went with your mommy, son, you don't have to worry about her, okay?"

Jake nodded but stayed quiet and Jack could almost see the gears turning in the little boy's head as he tried to mentally digest what his grandfather had told him. The two of them sat quietly, Jack hugging the boy to his chest as the child held onto his grandfather's arm around his middle.

Chancing a glance Jack noticed that the boy had fallen asleep, his wet cheeks slowly drying. Standing carefully he turned and placed him in his bed, pulling the blanket over his small tired body and pressing a kiss to his forehead before exiting the room.

…

"Sydney, we've been standing out here for fifteen minutes. You're going to have to go in there eventually."

The doctor had already met with them saying that Rick's situation was grim and that he'd be lucky to survive the night. Sydney had signed, with Michael over her shoulder, the appropriate papers needed and the two were left standing in front of the open door with the faint beeping echoing out into the hallway.

"I'm scared, Michael."

"Of what?"

"I don't know…but…I," she paused as tears fell down the courses already plotted, "I feel like a terrible person."

The youngest Vaughn was quite confused, shaking his head and leading her back into the small waiting room around the corner. "Why do you feel like a terrible person?"

"Because I…I don't feel bad for him." She sobbed, Michael pulling her against his chest as her head dropped onto his shoulder, though she continued to vent her frustrations with a muffled voice. "I should feel bad because I used to love him, but now he's going to die and I…I don't feel bad."

Michael rubbed her back and let her cry, "You don't have to go in there. We signed the papers, made the hospital aware that you two were divorcing and that you were no longer his emergency contact. We can go to your house and grab whatever you want and get on the first flight back to New York."

"No…I…I want to say goodbye." He barely understood her but pushed her back with a nod. "Will…will you go with me?"

Wiping at her cheeks she sniffled, feeling like a small child asking to sit on her father's lap because she was scared. Michael just smiled and took her free hand letting her lead the way.

The room was dark, the blinds drawn and not allowing any sunlight onto the deathly pale and bruised figure on the bed. Bandages adorned every viewable piece of skin, both legs elevated in casts with his right arm over his chest in another soft cast. 'No need in making them full hard casts if he's just gonna die, is there,' Michael thought.

Sydney's grip on his hand tightened as she moved closer to the bed. The pumping sound of the machine keeping his lungs inflating was distracting and she couldn't help but glance at all the machinery he was hooked up to with a wince. Not intending it to be an internal dialogue she just stared at his bruised, cut, and broken face with crying brown eyes.

'Look what you got yourself into, Rick. You were a good man once, and I…I came to say goodbye to who you used to be. I didn't want to agree with my mom when she said you were getting what you deserved, but I remember waking up in this same hospital bruised and beaten and…I can't help but see it from her point of view a bit.'

She paused and let go of Michael's hand, pulling a chair up and sitting next to the bed quietly. Vaughn took that cue and slowly and quietly exited the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

"I…I didn't deserve the things you did to me, Rick. Neither did the boys. You…they – they deserved to have a father that loved them but…but they got you instead." She paused and tore her eyes away from his face to focus on her lap.

"I…I forgive you for what you did to me. And no…I don't know why. But…I can't forgive you for what you did to our kids. Jake…you hit Jake with a belt, Rick. I…I can't forgive you for that."

She sat quietly for a few more minutes, brushing once again at her cheeks while wiping her nose with a Kleenex she'd been crumpling in her hand. "I'm pregnant. With…with a baby you'll never get a chance to meet. I'm – I'm okay with that honestly, I wouldn't want him or her to know you."

Sighing she stood, her hands folding and tearing at the Kleenex, "goodbye, Rick."

Slowly she turned a sense of calm washing over her. Opening the door she saw Michael jump up from his seat with concern shining from his green eyes. Sending him a reassuring smile she sighed and let him pull her into a hug.

"I…I actually feel pretty good right now. Is that bad?"

"Hell no, that's great." He scolded her gently while leading her back to the elevators. "Wanna stop by your house?"

"Yeah – I promised Noah I'd grab his Muck-Muck; a silly dog that my dad got him for Christmas when he was a baby. Plus I'm going to need all the maternity clothes I stashed away. I should probably call a real estate agency," he watched her slowly descend into unlimited questions mode, moving a hand over hers on her lap to pull her out of the downward spiral.

"Let's do one thing at a time, okay? Let's get breakfast and head over to your place and just see what would be easiest to pack up. The real estate stuff we can look into when we're back at the hotel - it's a lot of stuff you can do over the phone back in New York, so let's back-burner that for a few days and just concentrate on packing. Deal?"

Sydney exhaled with a soft smile. "Yeah - yeah. One thing at a time."

"One thing at a time," he repeated and put the car in gear as she typed the address into the cell and they left the hospital.

…