I do not own Twilight.

To: Carlisle Cullen

From: Emmett Cullen

Date: 22nd Oct 2006

Hey!

So Rosie spent far too long typing last time so it's my turn!

We're nearly done checking the south houses. Nothing to report. No sign of Eddie boy. Gonna lose signal when we go further south.

Now, I have to ask, are you sure you want him back whole? I mean if we find him, he'd be so much easier to transport in pieces in the trunk. Just wanted to give you the option.

All good here.

Bye

Em

Bella

"Damn laptop!" I shout at it, resisting the urge to throw it across the room. "I'd actually got somewhere then, and you just had to crash on me."

"You know if you had less tabs open it wouldn't crash," Diana laughs lightly from the door. "These sorts of laptops aren't designed to have twenty plus web pages open plus your word processer and everything else. Oh, and where was that music coming from?"

My relationship with Diana has been rocky recently. Some days we would laugh and joke as though nothing had changed but other days, she'd give me the cold shoulder. I have to admit, I wish today was one of those days she ignored me.

I stare at the bright blue screen, desperately hoping that the work hadn't disappeared. The workload at school has been increasing drastically and I've been really struggling to keep up, not that I'll admit that to anyone. I just need to get to the break, and I can spend the week catching up. Hopefully.

Around me, I hear Diana move to sit down with me at the table. Part of me feels guilty that I have overtaken it with clutter when I have my own desk in my room. It is just so much easier to work away from where I have to try and sleep.

"You haven't eaten yet," Diana says hesitantly. "It's getting late, can I make you something?"

I know there is merit to her words. I really do need to eat something. In fact, when was the last time I ate? I think I missed lunch but I'm sure I had breakfast. Damn, these days are all merging into one!

Right now, though, the only think I need to think about is getting this assignment done before tomorrow.

"I can get something later on, when I'm finished."

Turning back to the computer, I can make out that the screen has now turned off. Thank goodness! That means it can be booted back up again. What a stupid waste of time this is. Doesn't it realise I have work to do?!

"No," Diana says forcefully closing the laptop lid, "I'll make you something now and then you can work. You're gonna get sick like this."

My face turns into a deep scowl at her words. How dare she tell me the truth I don't want to hear.

"Pull faces all you want, if you don't eat, I'll get Liz out here to make something."

I blank slightly at her words; would she really do that? Yes, she would, without a doubt.

"Fine," I mutter pushing the offending grey box away from me and following her to the kitchen.

"No, you sit, I'll make. What do you want?"

"Anything quick, I don't really care."

It was a comment I'd regret as, after half an hour of sitting, a plate of salad, veggies and rice is placed in front of me.

"This isn't quick," I complain, but lifting my fork to make a start.

"No, but it's good for you. I'm going to bed. Please finish it and go to bed at a sensible hour too. I know you've got work to do, but there is nothing wrong with asking for an extension."

With that she walks out the room, without saying goodnight. It isn't uncommon, but the abrupt departure confuses me slightly. I thought we were on good terms today.

Carlisle had given me the run down of what happened. How Diana had responded to him and practically accused him of harming me. It was a shock to us all, but me mostly. How did she know what they were? Did she know?

I put my cutlery down and start rubbing my temples where a headache is starting to blossom.

We'd agreed to act as though nothing had happened around Diana but that the Cullens would keep their distance as much as possible. I have a suspicion that they haven't told me everything they know. I did know that they were hoping Edward would be able to shine some light.

Shaking my head and refusing to let my mind go down that rabbit hole, I tidy away my dishes and go back to the laptop of doom.

I am supposed to be researching an event from the last twelve months and creating a newspaper report on it. The teacher was nice enough to let us choose them randomly from a hat instead of making us pick it ourselves.

The task is meant to be simple. Like most of the class, it's something I have done before in school, but it is proving incredibly challenging. Not being able to skim read the information websites was making it take longer. Not to mention that the information was incomprehensible at best.

I'd chosen a report into spinach being contaminated with E. coli. Not an especially interesting subject for me, I'd much rather research the life and death of an author, but I don't have a choice.

So, I've been trawling through online information into the outbreak, the bacteria itself and how the public is responding to it. The last part is much easier than the rest. My ability to comprehend medical information from text and videos enough to write about it factually is my downfall.

Part of me wonders if I should contact Carlisle – he would be able to help in no time. It just feels like cheating. This is an exercise in research.

The hours drag by. It's nearly four am when I finally give up on the work and drag myself to bed. I've managed to get something together. Something being a collection of words on a page that I'm not convinced make logical sense together.

It's pointless to even try sleeping though. I simply lay there staring at the ceiling.

Edward is still missing, doing goodness knows what. I really hope he isn't doing something he'll regret later. I don't think I could stand being responsible for him killing and feeling guilty for the rest of his life.

My other worry, which I haven't told anyone, is that he could have moved on. I'm still not sure I want to go back to a romantic relationship with him, or if I even want to see him at all for that matter. Just the idea of him being happy with someone else…

No, I won't think like that.

I do need to be ready to see him though. At some point he is going to come back here. I am going to see him. I'm going to have to face the lies and the hurt. Do I have enough strength to do that?

Enough thinking of these things, I need to sleep.

Mentally I try to train my thoughts onto safer topics, like counting sheep.

Counting sheep is such a strange concept. How it is meant to help you sleep, I don't know. I don't even know anyone it has worked for in the past.

One by one, they trot through my mental image.

It's as I reach fifty that my mind starts to wander again.

If Edward comes back and finds something dangerous in Diana's mind, will they leave?

I know the drill well enough that they have to remain inconspicuous. That means leaving at the drop of a hat whenever there is suspicion.

Where would that leave me?

Panicked, I throw myself out of bed and stumble blindly across the room. Unsurprisingly, I fall to the floor with a loud thump.

I bite my tongue, desperately trying not to cry out at the pain in my side. While my injuries have mostly healed, landing on them so hard is never good and always painful.

Tears start to form in my eyes, both from the physical and emotional pain, and I forcefully blink them back.

The noise doesn't seem to have woken my housemate, so for that I am thankful. The last thing I need on top of everything else is her worrying about me.

I try to remember why I launched out of bed, what I was trying to get. Then I remember. I was going to call Esme. To beg her reassurance that she won't leave me. To ensure none of them will leave me.

Doing that would be wrong though. I can't ask them to endanger themselves for my sake. That isn't fair to them!

No matter how selfish I want to be, I can't risk my family. Maybe there's a chance they would stay in touch?

I spend the next hour unmoving. It's only when my alarm starts buzzing that I drag myself painfully up from the floor.

Switching it off quickly, I make a start on my morning routine. I get dressed slowly, trying not to wince with every movement. Not once do I look down to see the damage I've undoubtedly done to myself, I don't need to see that. I do however check my face in the mirror while I'm brushing my teeth.

Unfortunately, but not really a surprise, there is the start of a bruise blossoming on my cheek. Poking it with my finger, I also realise it's going to be a bad one.

Damn it! Everyone will be all over me for this. I'll have to explain what happened and some-how get around the fact that I fell. Why can't life be easy just this once?

Using the small amount of foundation, I keep for emergencies, I blot it onto my face to cover the offending mark. While it might work for humans, I've got to hope that my eagle-eyed vampire family will keep their distance until it fades.

I pack everything away, leaving the bathroom clean and tidy for when Diana wakes up. She has the blessing of being able to get ready at a reasonable speed in the morning, so is unlikely to wake for some time yet.

Putting a slice of bread in the toaster, I boot the laptop back up with a sigh. Maybe, by some sheer miracle, I'll be able to make this presentable before I need to leave.

It's sometime later that a plate is stuck in front of my face. "It's all well and good cooking it, but you need to eat it too."

On the plate is, what appears to be, a fresh slice of buttered toast.

With a sheepish look and a quick thanks, I take the plate and start eating.

"I'm glad you went to bed," Diana says sitting across from me. She must have seen my confused face because she adds, "I got up to check on you, I was worried."

"You didn't need to do that, I'm capable of looking after myself."

"That's debatable. What happened to your face?" Damn, she'd noticed already. Today is really not my day! "If you're tryna hide it, I can help. You don't appear to be the best in the whole makeup department, not to mention you kinda missed the bruise."

At least that explains it. "Please," I say.

I wolf down the toast, getting crumbs everywhere, and quickly send my work to print. I'm not happy with it. I still don't understand the material and that is very clear from the writing. I'm so behind with work at the moment, I just wish there was a way to catch up easily, so I don't have to do everything at the last minute.

Diana rushes off to get herself packed and ready while I start clearing away some of the clutter. She fixes my face, tutting to me as I explain what happened.

"You must be more careful." Don't I know it! But then, when have I ever been known as careful?

The rest of the week continues in a similar manner.

Diana tries many times to strike up a conversation. I really want to feel bad for ignoring her friendly attempts, especially considering how challenging the relationship has been recently, but I'm just too tired to participate.

I'm working through the night, desperately trying to get work completed and knowing that my attempts to sleep are futile.

I know I'm looking a mess. I know I'm risking my health. What more can I do though? If I tell people that I'm struggling, Charlie will rush in and drag me away. I will not prove his point that I cannot cope with school.

All through classes I'm nothing but a walking zombie. When asked upon, I answer questions, but the quality of answer is appalling, if I even manage to get it right.

There was an incredibly awkward moment when I was asked about something the teacher had just said and all I could do was stare at them blankly. In that moment I couldn't have even told them what day it was.

Diana in particular has started questioning me more and more. She has been hanging around me more. I try not to be annoyed by it, especially as she is only trying to help, but it's hard being treated like an invalid again. I don't need someone reminding me to eat, to take meds, to go to bed. I know that I do, but it shouldn't be happening.

Life is just hard at the moment.

It isn't helped by Charlies excessive phone calls. Really, why does he feel the need to make a long-distance phone call EVERY DAY? Surely, he has better things to do.

So far, I've managed to keep him in the dark about, well everything, but I can tell he is starting to get suspicious.

I can't decide if I'm desperate for, or dreading, going back for thanksgiving. On the one hand I'm really looking forward to the break. It'll be the perfect opportunity for me to catch up with work and most importantly sleep. I just know that he's going to be all over me if I don't start looking "normal" soon.

Maybe there's someway I can get out of going like Diana. Say I've got meetings that I need to attend? Additional lectures? No, there's no point trying. I know from the way Charlie is talking about it that if I don't go to him, he'll be coming to me. I shudder, Charlie coming here would not be a good idea!

With any luck, Edward will return while I'm away and I never have to confront him. Wouldn't that be a blessing?

Ah well, just a few weeks left to battle through.

Why can't everyone back off for the next few weeks? Just let me get on with everything.

I'd thankfully managed to avoid Carlisle and Esme completely, being too busy to visit them. Rosalie and Emmett are obviously away so they aren't a problem. But Alice and Jasper, they are a massive problem. It's like they're following me. Every time I turn around, they're there scrutinising me.

I hate to admit it, but their banishment from my house is incredibly helpful. So long as I avoid public areas on breaks and come home quickly after lessons finish, they aren't able to question me.

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