Light's Proverbs

How are we supposed to fight God?

Angela had always been considered the tough one. She was known for shouldering burdens, that she had the strong shoulders to hold up the weight when everything seemed to collapse. The truth was, she was just good at hiding it; hiding the pain she felt when confronted with that sense of hopelessness. The same that she could feel pouring off Dean, her best friend and brother, in waves. For a man that was dead set on keeping his feelings hidden from everyone else, he was damned expressive when it became too much.

She didn't have to ask if the case went well when they came home. She could tell by their hanged heads and walk. She made herself scarce, not because of the recent tension between her and Sam, but she knew her boys well enough to know that they needed a moment. Of course, she was a shameless listener at times. Most of the time, she tuned out conversations she wasn't meant to hear. This time, she couldn't.

It was an understatement to say that she was pissed with Chuck for everything he had done to them. She was livid that he killed Jack and then threw a temper tantrum because the boys said no to his games. He left and they thought they were free, but now he was back and he brought back Lilith. It was one thing amongst others but really hit home with the despair… that they may not truly be free.

It was natural to want to fix things. It automatic even if it didn't involve her. It pained her that her boys were feeling so despondent. Sam was trying to be positive, and that was her thoughts to. The instinct to fight against a wrong. Dean looked so defeated. Whenever the shit really hit hard, and it seemed hopeless… he was close to giving up. She knew that feeling well and how heavy the load seemed.

It was on her thoughts as she wandered the bunker. Her mind was coming up with scenarios on how to work this as well as process what she overheard Sam say about the connection between him and Chuck. That explained why it felt off with the connection between her and Sam. She was frowning when she went to check on the baby.

Jess was sleeping soundly. She looked much more relaxed now that her father and uncle were home. She had bawled when Jack died and became listless when Sam wasn't in the bunker. Angela worried since she knew that Jess was sensitive to the supernatural and to the emotions of the people around her. Babies were like that in general, but Jess… Angela looked at her sleeping daughter with love. She could see that Jess was special. It also had her thinking that she would go through the change when she was old enough.

Tucking Jess' toy lamb that she had made to look like Castiel, Angela stroked her daughter's hair before leaving to let her sleep. She opened the door and walked through to find herself on a verandah and one she was very familiar with. She snorted as she paused and said while turning, "You're getting good at scenery changes."

"If you were expecting Wosret, you'd be mistaken."

Angela turned back around to see the goddess Isis standing there. She didn't cower but she did lower her head respectfully in acknowledgement but showed a bland expression. "Considering that she is the one that tends to show up and lets me see Hibah." She shrugged.

Isis expected that. Ever since her husband Osiris started presiding judgment of guilt over the living and Dean happened to be one of the victims. Angela was not in a forgiving mood at the time and while the displeasure ebbed over the years, it appeared to the goddess that she still was not happy that her husband decided to torment and hunt mortals. Isis was well aware the woman could hold a grudge if it suited her. She replied, "I see you're still upset."

"That's mild, but probably accurate," Angela replied as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Considering you were in a position to do something and chose not to. And I'm not talking about favoritism."

Isis would have said that it was favoritism but that wouldn't have flown. Angela never accepted special favors on her behalf. She always asked on behalf of others. And she was right on that account. She should have interfered, and she didn't. She looked at the Nile in the distance and replied, "You're right. I'm sorry."

Angela looked at the goddess and blinked. She didn't think the goddess would apologize. They were capable and some had. It was always unexpected. She looked out over the balcony. "How is Osiris?"

"Still recovering. And he knows not to retaliate or suffer dire consequences from me and Hapi and Satet. Not to mention Wosret and Hibah and the entire guard." The goddess gave a slight smile at her. "And it is because you are my favored child."

Angela made a slight sound, "I don't know how much of that should apply considering that I'm…"

"You still are a child of mine. You have the powers and strength of the night children." Isis turned to look at Angela. "I know about you. Your soul and what you once were." She gave a slight smile as she said, "Your guardian angel, the Messenger told us after he rescued you from hell."

"Always with a plan," Angela replied with a wry smile. She leaned on the balcony and sighed. She looked out. "I don't know what to do. Chuck… he… killed someone precious to me. He literally threw a temper tantrum and now is setting the stage for the end. He even brought back Lilith." She looked at the goddess. "He knows about my baby."

The goddess looked at her favorite one. It had been hard to keep back from interfering. Isis had always favored Angela since the beginning and had been hard put to let the girl live her life. "And?"

"He knows, but I think he won't try anything. And Amara, his sister… she gave her protection." Angela looked at Isis with confusion at that. She still was trying to process this. "He thinks of all of us as characters in a story that he could make do whatever he wants. And the second his favorite resists… he throws a tantrum."

"And you question how much of the decisions you've made were part of an elaborate plot." Isis looked at her. She gave a slight smile, "Tell, me… you've read the books. How much of it has anything to do with you?"

Angela looked at the goddess. She hadn't thought about the Supernatural books. Castiel once called them the Gospel of Winchester. She had read pretty much all of them and there were very few instances of her being mentioned. In fact, it was so vague, she could easily see why she had been called a literary device and people questioned her gender. "Very little," she admitted.

Isis nodded, "And yet even in the prophecies of other cultures it is very vague about you. You've seen them."

That much was true. She had seen how various pantheons sent the visions of her and even then, they weren't full on descriptions like she had seen of other things. Leaning against the balcony, Angela looked at the goddess with a frown. "So… I'm just a literary device," she replied in a fit of humor. It did always amuse her how that one comment was spot on in regards to her relationship with the boys.

Isis couldn't help but chuckle. She was always amused by the way how humans described her favorite. She had examined this thing called the Internet and she found it much more entertaining. She shook her head. "More than that, my favorite daughter."

"Are you going to remind me that I am the beloved of Shiva and Parvati? I know that and still earn scorn from the other gods that I don't bow down to them. I don't even do that to you." She made a slight gesture as if to make her point.

"A gift and honor you rightfully earned by being you."

"I've done nothing of the sort," Angela replied. She looked over the balcony at the scene below. She sighed, "Is there such a thing as free will? I mean do we really make our choices?"

Isis looked at Angela as the woman looked at her with a pensive gaze. "Fate and free will both play an equal role in destinies," she finally said, finding inspiration from something Shiva once said.

"Really?"

"Don't be so surprised that Shiva's wisdom is far reaching and you have said something similar yourself."

Angela remembered that. She remembered when Sam and Dean were trying to cheat fate so to speak. They had just met Chuck and they thought he was a prophet then. She nodded, "That the end result will happen, it's the decisions made to get there that is up for grabs." She looked at Isis, "And look at where that got us."

"But you have no regrets. None as far as your relationship with the brothers. By the way, Hibah says that Jess is beautiful. She shows traits of both her parents." Isis smiled, happy. "I would like to see her one day. If it is permissible."

Angela smiled. She really couldn't stay mad with Isis. She long ago accepted the decision. She just wanted to hold onto a grudge and she was stubborn. "I think she'd like that too." She sobered though and added, "Where does this lead though? The fact that Chuck set about the end of the world; that his favorite plot is having one brother kill the other?"

Isis looked sadly at Angela. She knew that story well. Set and Osiris had been at odds. It was how Osiris gained his immortality. He had to die at the hands of Set. She didn't know what to say.

Angela didn't expect an answer. She just needed to vent and figure out why she was never figured into this. She had always fought by the Winchester's sides and yet, from what Sam's nightmares turned out to be… she wasn't in it at all. If Chuck created everyone and played with them and their fates, then where did that leave her? Truly free of him? That thought panged her since she swore to be there for Sam and Dean no matter what. They were family.

"It is a question that… Chuck… has never been able to answer."

Angela turned to see Isis looked at her. She noticed that while the goddess was showing sympathy, she was also wearing that royal look that meant this was important. "What do you mean?" She gave a slight frown.

"He may have created you and your other half, but you specifically have never been affected by his machinations."

Angela frowned at that, "That doesn't make sense since Sam and I are soul twins. We share a part of the other. That would mean that we would share in the same fate more or less."

"But you have always been the dominant half. Your abilities are the active half. Sam is the passive, the one that calms the storm," Isis replied. She saw the look and raised her hand, "I know you've done the same for him, but your growth, your power, the mastery of your abilities is because of him."

Angela eyed the goddess, "But I was searching for Sam for over five hundred years. Time and distance can separate soul twins." She sighed and shook her head, "None of this makes sense."

"You are not controlled by Chuck's machinations of fate like the rest of us," Isis said, "Yes you do have a fate, but you… ride the road of your own fate." She gave a wry smile at the use of another proverb. "One could say you defy fate at times."

Angela snorted at that, "I doubt that."

"Daughter, you are not bound by Chuck's rules like most think. I know he knows that you don't considering the times you have defied what he had spread that you are to be," Isis explained. She put her hand on Angela's shoulder. "You have fought against fate since the beginning. You're still fighting." She smirked, "You're thinking of how to fix this now. From the most obvious to the most creative."

Angela blinked at that. She forgot the goddess knew her pretty well. It had seemed like years living in Karnak, but the reality was that it was a matter of months to a year. Time enough to learn about each other. She then smiled sadly, "But even I know that I can't fix everything." A tear started to fall, "I just want to have a life with my husband, my brother and my daughter." She gave a watery chuckle, "The great Malachi being selfish."

"There's nothing wrong with you wanting that. You've done more for this world than will ever be known."

Angela didn't say anything but turned to look back out at the Nile river. She leaned on the balcony again. She thought about things before saying, "You're right. That I want to fix this. Thing is… I don't know what to do about it. I mean… Dean had it right. How do you fight against God?" She looked at the goddess.

Isis looked at her and thought about what she was going to say. Finally, she said, "Well… you already have experience fighting against a god. You know what Chuck wants. Work with it."

Angela straightened up and stared ta Isis, "Even if that means toying with the fact that Chuck is not going to give up on his… favorite endgame?"

Isis looked back at Angela and replied, "You know how he thinks and if what Sam sees are his thoughts as a result of the wound he sustained… use it. This isn't any different than the other battles you led and fought." She took a step forward, "You were adopted as a princess of warrior royalty. You have warrior's blood in your veins. It is a part of you as it is your loving nature. They are never at war with each other. In the end, they work together and often in a solution that may anger some, but only because they didn't realize it, or it doesn't benefit them like they wanted. You never cared about sides. Always the bigger picture. You always did, even with your own life."

Angela stood there as Isis reached out and caressed her cheek. She listened to what she was saying, and she knew what she had to do. It had been at the back of her mind ever since she head Sam and Dean talking. She looked downward at her feet, "I know what I have to do. It's just…" She looked at the goddess.

"You'll do what you know and feel what is right. After all a light spirit shoulders a heavy fate."

Angela chuckled, "Going to lay me on with proverbs?"

"Whatever it takes, my daughter," the goddess replied. She smiled at Angela and leaned forward to give her a kiss on her forehead. Smiling she said, "Just remember that Fate loves a rebel. Remember that as you… wake up."

Angela opened her eyes to find herself in bed. It was late. She frowned as her vision cleared and it softened when she saw Sam facing her, fast asleep. It was one of the few times he slept peacefully. Until he started twitching in his sleep and she guessed another nightmare courtesy of Chuck. Sighing, she reached for him and pulled him, so his head was resting on her chest and started stroking his hair. His reaction was to wrap his arm around her waist, hugging her tight, as if afraid to let her go. And he said she was the cuddler. She smiled softly as she stared upwards, stroking his hair and easing him through his nightmare. She thought about her conversation with Isis and what the whole point of it really was. As much as she didn't want to admit it… she was about to test fate to the fullest. She just hoped that it would end up working out.

A/N: Angie overhears Sam and Dean and thinks about how to fix things and ends up talking to Isis. Tag to Proverbs 7:13.