Golden Lights

"Eilee!"

Angela smiled as Jess squealed and reached towards Eileen, wanting to be held by the newest occupant of the bunker. She held onto her daughter and smoothed her curls as she eyed the girl that she had raised, that had died and was now flesh and blood in front of her. She was quiet.

"She's adorable," Eileen spoke as she signed.

Angela looked at Eileen and asked, "Do you want to hold her?"

Eileen nodded and reached for Jess. The baby was eager to meet the new face and went willingly. Jess squealed, "Eilee!"

Angela hummed as she watched Eileen and Jess interact. Jess had wrapped her little arms around Eileen's neck and was giving one of her neck squeezes. She was a strong little girl and was capable of choking, but she seemed to know her limits. Angela smiled as she folded her hands in her lap, her thoughts wandering.

It had sounded too good to be true when Sam found the spell that Rowena had been working on to bring the dead back. She remembered the attempt for Mary and how that ended up. She didn't think that the witch would keep at it, but then again maybe she should have. Rowena trusted magic above all other things.

The downside was that it could only be used once. And that was what that witch was after. That was after the witch sent to raid Rowena's place died from the hex alarm that had been put on the place. If anything Rowena was meticulous about who she trusted with her property. Hell, Angela thought she would end up in trouble since she and Rowena weren't the best of friends, but they did have an understanding.

In the end, the witches were dead and they had the spell. That didn't mean that all was well. Eileen did manage to find them though it was not completely necessary. Still, it was probably for the best. It did leave an impression on all three witches. It certainly was the elephant in the room between them, but force of habit and the urgency to make things right for Eileen pushed it aside.

"She looks like you."

Angela was aware that Eileen had been talking to her and looked up. "What?"

"I said, she looks like you." Eileen looked at Angela and frowned, "Are you okay, Angie?" She signed as she spoke more for clarity.

Angela looked at Eileen and sighed. She spoke as she signed, "I'm happy to see you, but I'm not okay. Haven't been for a while." She put her hands down and looked at them in her lap.

Eileen held Jess. The little girl refused to let go and despite her tiredness, she wanted to stay awake. She had wanted to talk to Angela despite the logical fact that there was plenty of time in the morning. It mostly started with the way Angela looked at her the moment she saw her alive.

Eileen had sought out Sam and when she said hello to Angela, she had been puzzled by the expression. She remembered her old mentor and her habits well. The way she looked at her, like she wasn't sure what to do… it was not a familiar expression to her. She kept it to herself as she explained what happened to her.

It had been a blow to hear that she wouldn't be able to get to heaven. Yet, Sam was persistent in hope and they managed to find what they needed in Rowena's hiding place. They hadn't planned on the witches showing up and Eileen certainly hadn't planned on seeing her friend and mentor react the way she did. Sam explained that he was mated to Angela, but it never seemed to hit home until she saw that anger and rage, and what Angela did to the witch's spirit and the one of the one that Dean shot. It was terrifying and had Eileen wonder if that was what she felt when she died. She wanted to know but couldn't ask.

It seemed that it was to be ignored even when they returned to the bunker and Sam went about doing the spell. In fact, Eileen was a little hurt that Angela wasn't there at first. What she didn't realize was that her old mentor had taken the practical approach; she had gone and gotten clothing for her. It was like she knew that she would emerge from that tub naked and alive. But Eileen didn't notice that. What she noticed was the look of relief and joy that threatened to explode.

Eileen knew how reserved her old mentor was. She was controlled in her emotions and was never impressed with temper tantrums. The end result was that she slapped Eileen when she was throwing a fit. It was funny to laugh at now, but then… it was a part of Angela. She was a woman from a time when women weren't expected to wear their emotions freely or risk being called a silly girl. There were a few times that wasn't so and seeing the look on Angela's face was one of them.

It was also the first time Eileen saw the true extent of Angela's feelings for Sam. The love and gratitude as if he had just given her the greatest gift in the world… it spoke volumes. The funny thing was that Sam seemed surprised at the gentle kiss Angela gave him on his cheek. It was another thing Eileen tucked away for future thoughts, but it did cement the fact that her old mentor was like how she was and yet not quite there. Sitting there, she asked and signed, "What's wrong?"

Angela looked at Jess as she sat on Eileen's lap, looking at her with Sam's eyes. She then looked at Eileen and saw the concern written on her face. She said, "A lot has happened since you… died."

"I figured." Eileen made a slight face and grinned. She sobered and set Jess on the bed beside them so she could use her hands without hindrance. She started to sign.

They hurt Sam. It made you angry. More than what you used to do when someone tried to hurt me.

Angela looked at Eileen. She started signing, I know Sam told you we were mated. It's… more complicated. I am angry more often.

Because of Chuck?

Angela looked at Eileen as the girl raised her brow at her. She nodded, Yes, Chuck. He took Jack from me. He threw a temper tantrum and decided ending the world was best because Sam and Dean didn't play along. And I'm sad and angry that I lost you.

Eileen looked at the woman looking so down across from her. She reached out and took Angela's hand. She spoke, "And I know you would've brought me back if it were possible."

Angela looked at Eileen and replied, "I would have done that for all my strays that died from this job." She gave a sad smile. "No one should have to see what I have seen."

Eileen shook her head, "But they have. I have. Sam and Dean have."

"And look where it brings us."

Eileen sat back. She knew this tactic well. Guilt, but a lesson built in there. Even when that wasn't the intention, it was still there. She gave a slight smile, "And we all chose it. We made the choice."

"And that's what I preach the most," Angela replied with a wry smile. She squeezed Eileen's hand and held onto it. "The thing is… this is a war, and it's not going to be pretty."

"It never is."

Angela gave a slight, dry chuckle at that. She shook her head before saying, "Sam and Dean… they don't know war. Not like I do. They don't know the toll of making those decisions that puts hundreds to thousands of peoples' lives in your hands. The thing with the Apocalypse… not close. Separating from your emotions to make those decisions… that is something they haven't done and… not capable of doing… unless they were soulless."

Eileen watched Angela's face and the emotions that flitted across it. She frowned a little, "But… you make choices that try to get the least amount of people hurt."

"That is just with a few. Try whole armies. Going to that point where you do cross a line somewhere. The dark shadows. I've done that… most of my life." Angela glanced over at Jess. "And I wonder how it is possible that I carried and gave birth to such and innocent creature."

Eileen looked at Jess. The little girl had started amusing herself with her toy lamb. She looked at Angela and saw the woman's love for her daughter but also the sadness that Jess had her as a mother. She grasped Angela's hand and looked the woman in the eye, "Angie."

Once she had Angela's attention, Eileen started signing, I know you. You raised me. You trained me. You protected me. I know what you've done. I saw it. But I still love you. I love you.

Angela looked at the indignant look on Eileen's face. Even after everything.

Eileen nodded vigorously, Yes. I know what you are, but it is not who you are. There is a difference. You taught me that. I know what you did. I read. It's still you because you thought about it long and hard. You are doing it now with what is happening. You want to fight and you want to do it with the least amount of people getting hurt.

Angela watched Eileen until she paused in her signing. Then she signed in return, You finished?

Eileen snorted at that and signed, I mean it. I know you. You always find a way. Not perfect, but the best possible. Dean knows it. Sam knows it.

Angela stared at Eileen and sighed. She rolled her eyes slightly when she saw the grin appear. She looked at the girl and said, "You are worse than a few others I know. They always bring up Sam."

"They know you like I do," Eileen replied with a smug grin. She sobered quickly and added, "I know Sam brought me back, but I want to help you if I can."

"Don't torture me so soon."

Eileen gave a dry chuckle as she tried not to. She grabbed Angela's hand and squeezed it. "I'm still a hunter."

Angela looked at Eileen. She knew that. She knew that the ones she trained made the choices they did. No one twisted their arms. She just felt guilty because she set them on the path. In the end, she did what she did because if not her, they would learn it anyway and probably end up biting off more than they could chew. If she really thought about it, her strays were lucky to have her in their lives. A few lived beyond the average lifespan of a hunter. It was possible.

Looking at Eileen, she noticed that the girl was tired. She stood up. "Time for bed."

Eileen pulled a face at Angela. The discussion was over for now, but she knew that Angela would think on things. She replied, "Yes, Mom."

"Don't talk back to me girl. I can still whip you," Angela replied with a smirk. She moved to pick up Jess but was surprised when Eileen stopped her.

"She can stay. She's sleeping."

It was true. Jess was already asleep and it seemed cruel to interrupt. Angela nodded and made sure Eileen was tucked in. She gave a wry smile at the smirk she was given as a warning. "Get some sleep. It's a gift."

Eileen nodded and turned to look at Jess sleeping. She looked up once to see Angela watching. She signed, Good night.

Angela smiled and signed, Good night, sweet pea.

Nothing more was said when Angela turned the light off in the room she had given Eileen. There would be time to talk about plans in the morning. Right now… it was a time to enjoy the small victories. True there was the larger problem of Chuck and fixing what he broke, but for now... she would take it.

A/N: A lot to say but overall, Angie gets Eileen back. A small victory in a larger battle. Tag to Golden Time.