Author's Note: Bakugou tries to escape the darkness and finds undeserving love.

-years and years ago, shortly after graduation-

"Um, so now that you know where I live, I'm going to have to kill you," Bakugou says.

"I think he means to say, 'Thank you for helping me move into my new apartment, come over anytime', right?" says Kirishima, putting an arm around him.

"In your dreams."

"Translation: Just make sure you text me first." Kirishima smiles widely.

"It was nothing, bro," Kaminari says. "Seriously, though, Bakugou. Congrats again on the new apartment and securing a job at Endeavor's agency. You're gonna rock it!"

They all bid their congratulations and their farewells. Kirishima decides to stay behind to help finish unpacking.

"Oi, let's take a break," Bakugou grabs a takeout menu from the counter. "We've been at it all day. I'm hungry."

Kirishima's stomach growls. "Yeah, okay."They ring for delivery, not holding back on what they order. Furniture is scheduled to come later in the week, so when the food arrives they lay the dishes picnic-style, say their thanks, and begin stuffing their faces.

After they get their fill, Bakugou says, "Kirishima, remember when you rescued me from All-for-One?"

Kirishima watches his friend carefully. "Well, it wasn't just me." He pulls at the fraying threads of his shirt, feeling a little anxious. "Why... do you bring it up?"

"I just...I never got to properly thank you."

Kirishima smiles. "You would have done the same. And also, you threw down 50,000 yen just to pay me for those night vision goggles -"

"You're always looking out for me," Bakugou presses on. "Always pushing me out of the way of danger, even when it's stupid and reckless. Normally, I hate it when people worry about me. But," Bakugou's voice grew even quieter, "It never bothered me when it was you."

Kirishima can feel his heart thumping wildly all the way to his cheeks, his ears turning warm. He gulps and decides to be brave. "The truth is, Bakugou, I couldn't have survived UA without you. You helped me study and brought my grades up. You never turned me away on team practices. You made me a stronger fighter. A better Hero. On the days I gave up, you were the one that pulled me out of my slump. You motivated me. Inspired me."

He stops, feeling really hot and a little bit foolish. He can't bear to look at his best friend, as tempting as it is. This is embarrassing, he thinks miserably. "I guess," he says slowly, trying to break the awkward silence, "In a way, you saved me, too."

Bakugou suddenly scoots over to him. Kirishima lets out a small gasp as the man he's liked for so long lays a tender hand on his face and starts to lean forward. Kirishima glances down and sees Bakugou's other hand lacing his fingers around his own.

"Is this okay?" Bakugou's voice is uncharacteristically sweet. It drives Kirishima crazy.

"Yeah," Kirishima manages to reply. He lets Bakugou close the gap and pure elation shoots through his veins. His lips fit perfectly on top of his and Kirishima can't help but kiss back.

When they pull away, Bakugou is looking down at their joined hands. "Stay."

Kirishima giggles nervously, his fingers twitching against Bakugou's. "Wh-you mean, stay the night? Sure, I mean, I guess that would make sense considering how late it's getting -"

"I mean stay with me." Bakugou lifts his head. His eyes are earnest and yearning. "I mean I...I want to be with you. I really like us together." He is blushing now, but doesn't look away.

Ah, so cute. Kirishima grabs the front of his shirt and tugs, bringing him close again. "Me too. I'll stay." Bakugou's eyes go hungry and he leans forward, pushing Kirishima until he's lying on his back. Kirishima looks up at his new boyfriend, his stomach full of butterflies, and caresses the side of his face. His fingers are shaking. Bakugou turns and kisses his hand.

"I love you," he says.

\\\

-present day-

Bakugou opens his eyes to a folded futon beside his bed. He must have left really early. He sits up and wipes the sleep from his eyes. Another dream? I don't know if I can do this again.

Before last night, Bakugou went a year without dreaming of Kirishima. It relieved him, actually. The dreams always felt so real and it took a lot to reset from them. But now, the memories are starting to flood back and he can sense that black hole calling to him again.

"I really miss you, you spiky-haired punk," he says out loud. "You always made me feel less...broken."

It's a lot later than he expected, almost noon. It's his day off, which irritates him as working would have provided a well-needed diversion. Part of him almost wishes that Todoroki stayed. Well, almost.

He decides to put on some earbuds and go for a long run. When he steps outside, his spirits start to rise and he thinks maybe he can move past the dark feelings that are reemerging. I just need to focus on something else. He raises two fingers beside his windpipes and counts his heartbeats.

After a few stretches, he begins with a light jog straight for town before picking up speed. It's not until he's on mile two that he realizes this is exactly how one of his dreams started. Except this time he'll be coming home to a vacant apartment. The thought of Kirishima not being there pains him. He stops before a crosswalk and measures his heart rate again.

"What's the lucky number?"

"One-ninety," Bakugou answers vaguely. He spins around. His new sidekick, a young, newly-minted Hero with box braids, is standing beside him with a popsicle in her hand. "Ren? Aren't you supposed to be patrolling right now?"

"No…" she starts taking bites off her popsicle. "You told me to take the night shift."

Bakugou gives her a look. He pulls out his phone, scrolls, and hangs the device in her face. "No, it says you're on patrol."

"Aw, come on, boss." She pouts and places a hand on his arm. "You must have gotten our schedules confused. You do have a pretty big agency. It's hard to keep track."

"Hmm. I… have been distracted lately. You're right. I must have gotten confused. I'm sorry."

"It's okay!" She smiles. "And you'll buy me a popsicle to make up for it?"

"Of course."

"Ren." Best Jeanist appears with an angry look. "Stop using your quirk on your superior. Not only can he fire you, but he can also kill you."

"Aw, Uncle! I just wanted to spend time with you."

Bakugou's mind slowly returns to him. "You little twit."

"So, I tried to use Impressionable on you. The effect will wear off in a few minutes." Ren tosses the popsicle stick into a nearby trash bin. After wiping her sticky fingers on her pants, she bows. "Sorry. I didn't mean to cause any trouble."

"My niece thinks she can do whatever she pleases," Best Jeanist says. "She reminds me a lot of you as an intern. Such a -"

"HE GETS IT," Ren groans, uninterested in her uncle berating her. She turns back to Bakugou. "Who is that, by the way? Your screensaver? I'm pretty sure I've seen that guy around."

"I'm leaving," Bakugou says, suddenly annoyed. I really didn't want to socialize today. There are daggers in his eyes when he addresses his new sidekick again. "You're on patrol for the rest of the day and you won't leave until the night shift begins."

She opens her mouth to protest, but then decides against it. "Yes, sir."

\\\

When Bakugou finally arrives at his apartment building, he is completely spent. He groans, infuriated with himself for not being able to outrun the hopelessness. Maybe I deserve this, he thinks as he climbs up the stairs. Maybe I deserve to be unhappy.

He furiously wipes away the hot tears. No. I have worked too damn hard. I always got top marks, even graduated valedictorian. I snatched the No. 1 Hero spot in record time, even before Deku. I have everything I want…

Bakugou digs deep into his pocket for his keys. Not everything.

He finds the door unlocked. A shudder sweeps through him. He steps inside and is met with a delicious aroma that makes his stomach growl. Who the fuck? Aggravated and prepared to beat someone to a pulp, he hurries to the kitchen. "You."

Todoroki is bent slightly over a large pot. "Welcome back."

"This isn't your house, Half-and-Half Bastard."

Todoroki grabs a couple of bowls and sets them on the counter. He's looking really worn out, his eyes half-lidded and his shoulders slumped. Still, he's here, cooking for him, caring for him. As much as Bakugou wants to throw him out, he wants him to stay more.

"Hungry? It's extra spicy."

"What are you doing?" Bakugou demands. "I told you to stop smothering me!"

"I had a meeting nearby." Todoroki deposits a handful of noodles in each bowl and ladles hot broth into each of them. "I forgot my bag so I came back. The door was unlocked and I saw your running shoes were gone. I figured I'd make some ramen for when you returned."

"You don't have to do this."

"Do what?"

"Any of it!" Bakugou's blood is boiling. I don't want to owe you anything. I don't want you to care about me. I'll do it on my own, even if it kills me. But, he can't admit those thoughts. "I'm not some pathetic loser incapable of taking care of himself!"

Todoroki stares at him. "I don't think that." He carefully pushes a bowl toward him. "I want to do these things for you."

"Why?" Bakugou desperately asks, throwing his hands up. "Why when I've been nothing but horrible to you? Why do you feel like you need to look out for me if it's not out of pity?"

Todoroki walks over to him, his face expressionless. You're so fucking hard to read, Bakugou thinks, teeth gritted.

"Because you're my friend," he replies simply.

Bakugou cringes. Guilt hits him in the gut. I never asked for this. I don't want to get close to you. "I've tried pushing you away so many times, but you're so goddamn persistent!"

Todoroki places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. "I wouldn't be much of a friend if I wasn't. You can't push me away that easily."

Bakugou's defenses start to melt away. This is the reason why he values their friendship so much. He can yell at him for no reason until his throat goes dry and Todoroki will always treat him the same.

Todoroki smirks, which sends a chill up Bakugou's spine. "I guess I have a high tolerance for your off-putting personality."

"Tch." I can't hold back anymore. I don't deserve this, the kindness, the love. "I don't deserve this," he confesses quietly.

"You do." Both hands are on his shoulders now. Todoroki gives him a gentle shake. "Katsuki, you're a good person."

And just like that, Bakugou loses all control. He shoves Todoroki against the wall and slides a hand on the side of his neck. He leans forward, their foreheads almost touching. He waits for Todoroki to fight back, but he doesn't. Five, ten seconds pass. Bakugou accepts his resolve and decides to close the gap.