Light Not in Heaven

"You've… changed."

Angela turned to face the owner of the voice. She adjusted Jess on her hip after picking her up to take her to bed. She replied, "I merely moved with the times." She gave a slight smile. She straightened out. "So… who am I talking to?"

Michael gave her a look. "You know the difference," he retorted in an annoyed tone.

"Quite possibly," Angela replied with a polite smile. "I'm just being respectful of the fact that you and Adam are in an… interesting agreement."

Michael stared at her. He had wanted to be angry and engage in a fight, but Adam put a stop to it. Adam told him what she had done when they were in hell together. How could Michael be angry at her even though he thought her to be a shirker to her duty?

If he had to be honest, he couldn't deny that she did what she had been born to do. She was a protector of the people. Not only that… she was a mother. It was a new thing to see.

"Somehow, I get the feeling that you are trying to understand me," Angela said, interrupting his thoughts.

"I never understood you," Michael replied. He paced and looked around. "Not even when you were…"

"When I was one of you?"

Michael looked up at her. "So, you remember, Israfel."

Angela sighed at that. "Not what you think I do," she admitted. "When Amara was set free, she gave me a memory. I don't remember anything. I just… accept what I've seen." She looked at Michael and gave a shrug, "It often explains the strange shit that has happened."

Michael felt his facial expression sadden. He had hoped that his sister would get her memory back. He remembered when she had begged for death and in the end, she was sent to earth without her memories or grace. She was to live among the humans and even without all that, throughout the centuries, managed to be what he remembered her to be.

"Don't be sad. I don't remember and it doesn't bother me," Angela said.

"I'm not sad," Michael protested.

Angela chuckled at that as she picked up the blanket that Jess liked and wrapped it around her baby. "Don't even try to hide that. Five hundred years and the expressions are always the same," she said with a slight laugh. She came up to Michael and looked at him. "And that is a sad face."

Michael made a face at her. "Your…"

"If you say anything about attachments to humans and their expressions… don't. Remember, you're riding a human now," she teased. She tapped Michael's nose as she moved to leave the room.

Michael wrinkled his nose and replied, "And you are as childish as ever." He turned to look at her. "Turning everything into a joke. Even when it is serious."

Angela turned a looked at Michael. She studied him while Jess cuddled into her shoulder. Her eyes scrutinized him. She was quiet for some time until she finally said, "And sometimes levity is all that stands between victory and despair. I am sorry that you found out all that has happened like you did."

"You don't need to apologize." He turned away and paced, looking at the ground. "My father betrayed me. Betrayed us all."

"I'm no stranger to betrayal." She gave a slight shrug of her shoulders. "Painful on both sides."

"So you're saying Father feels pain for what he did to us?"

"He's not my father," she replied firmly. "But if you're asking about the pain of betrayal… I doubt it." She turned and headed for the door. "As you learned… it's all a story to him." She glanced at Michael as she added, "We are his playthings. Have been all along." She looked aside sadly, "He doesn't appreciate what it means to live."

At that moment, Jess made her baby sounds. Angela shifted to comfort her. She watched as the baby blinked sleepily at Michael. Her little eyes were wide open as her little fingers squeezed and contracted on the blanket wrapped around her. She didn't say anything as she stared at the archangel.

Michael couldn't help but stare back. He didn't expect a child. Not one that was hers. And yet, he expected it of her. She was the kind to care for any child, whether it was hers or someone else's. He peered at the baby and noted the hair and the eyes. "Those are… Sam's eyes."

"I didn't notice," Angela replied with a grin.

"Pretty," Jess suddenly said as she reached out to touch Michael. "Ada."

Michael blinked at the baby and didn't do anything when she touched him. He looked at Angela who was just letting it happen. There was no alarm or tension. Just… relaxed. Trust. He frowned at her as he straightened up. He couldn't resist letting Jess grab onto his finger. Angela was still giving that look. "I don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"How you are not afraid. For the child here."

Angela chuckled at that. "Why should I be afraid?"

Michael looked at her puzzled as he replied, "Because I'm an angel. I could have been pretending to seek revenge on you." The look he was getting compelled him to give more even though he wasn't sure of what to say, "She could have been hurt. You're too… trusting."

Angela laughed at that and Jess started giggling. She looked at Michael, "You are funny."

"I'm being serious and you're complacent."

"Don't make the mistake that because I am not tense that I am not alert, Michael," she countered. She was still smiling but the seriousness was in her eyes. "As a mother, I will rain down hell against anyone that tries to harm my baby. But as someone who… can sense intentions… I can be calm. Even in battle against the odds I've been able to show calm." She adjusted her grip on Jess. "It's what being a warrior is. I would have thought you'd know that."

"I remember you as a warrior. Fearless and wrathful when Father ordered it," Michael admitted. He shook his head, "You as…" He gestured at her. "You're different."

"I'm me. Who you remember is not me," she clarified. She gave a pointed look to make a point. "I get being in the cage all you could think about was what was then. Even now I remember a time when I wasn't so shamed by what I am. But I don't let it hold me back."

"So you just pretend it didn't happen?" Michael didn't mean to sound angry but he still was.

"Never said that." Angela's expression became hard as she stepped forward and stared at Michael with that hard expression. "There is a saying I tell people. Forgetting is hard. For someone with a long memory, it is hard and painful. It is because deep down, no matter what you do, there is always something waiting to bring you back to that position, ready to poison you with anger and hatred. I'm not saying not to be angry. A little is good. But to carry it out to the point of vengeance… that is what will kill you in the end."

"I can't die," Michael interjected.

Angela gave a chuckle, "Still thinking literal. So insistent on being the good son. Did you ever really consider what that really means?" She stared at the archangel. She knew he was listening. Whether or not he heard her words was up to him. "You saw what Cas showed you. Think about it. Process it. I know that you are helping us out and gave us the spell and opening the way to purgatory. But what are you going to do after that?"

Michael was going to say something but Angela abruptly turned and left the room, taking the baby with her, leaving him standing there. He blinked at that since it stunned him, but it was a fond memory. She did the same in heaven. At least what he remembered. But she wasn't the same as he remember. He knew that well considering how she responded to what he had considered her duty.

He had been resentful of her blatant disrespect, even in the cage. And yet, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that she was doing her duty. She was still doing it, just in a different way. She was always one to not obey the rules, but her actions always fell in line with what she was. As much as he wanted to be angry, he knew she was right. Still he had to think about things. He would and he had company as he left the bunker. He did hope that Dean Winchester would succeed in getting what he needed from purgatory.

A/N: Michael and Angela have a few words before he leaves and leaves him thinking. Tag to Our Father, Who Aren't in Heaven.