p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe watch around my wrist ticked loudly, filling the silent void between Helen and I as I stood in her doorway, trying my best to fight the November chill slowly creeping its way into my bones. I glanced over Helen's shoulder at the presence of movement, spotting a little bit of a human scooting along the ground, banging their arms against the floor occasionally. Helen noticed my staring and turned around, almost immediately swooping down and picking up her child before they got the chance to bolt out the door. He had a healthy amount of red curls sitting on the top of his head, occasionally falling in front of his eyes; I didn't recognize the structure of his face, meaning it must have come from the other half of the pair./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"What—what the hell are you doing here?" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"There was something hostile about her tone, shocking me slightly. I didn't even know she could be angry, let alone snippy and short with someone. I knew she thought her mind was reshaped, or whatever bullshit they hammer into heads, but she'd changed her entire personality./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It's… sort of complicated." She didn't bother to fight a little, tiny smile that poked its way through./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It always is."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe two of us fell back into an uncomfortable silence, pulling at articles of clothing and moving our eyes back down to our feet, and, in Helen's case, to the baby. I felt a conflict in my heart as I looked at that little thing, staring right back at me with big, brown eyes, curious as to who exactly this woman was at the door. This kid would go his whole life without ever knowing who his mother really was, instead living under something false, created by torture and the breaking of a desperate, worn-down spirit. The experience was different for everyone, but I knew Helen—never angry or violent, but damn, if she wasn't a fighter. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanBriefly, I glanced down at the watch wrapped securely around my wrist. I didn't have much time left here if I wanted to get the last thing on my list done before I had to meet Five and the rest of our siblings back at what had been Elliott's. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanOnce again, the image of his corpse pushed its way forward, and I quickly tried to brush it away by speaking./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I know this is a little rude to ask, but… do you mind if I come in?" Without really waiting for an answer, I tried to take a step forward, but Helen quickly moved to block my path, the line of her gaze well past me, more focused on any neighbors. "Helen, you don't have to worry about that. They'll probably just think I'm a friend coming to visit." That brought her attention back to me. I flinched as a certain fire lit behind her eyes, pushing me back without laying a finger on me./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You can't be here, Mina," she snapped suddenly. "You just can't." I shook my head, trying to calm her back down./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"No, Helen, you don't understand. I'm not here to—"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You have to leave." Her words came out with the fury of an army general's barking commands. My jaw fell agape a little, unsure of who exactly was standing in front of me. This was just the shell of the woman I had been in love with not too long ago. "If David comes home, he's gonna start askin' questions, and I'm not gonna know how to answer them without…" Her breath caught in her throat, and her stern and tall posture faltered slightly./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIt took everything in me not to reach out and grab her free hand, or brush some of that red hair out of her eyes. If any nosy neighbors were watching us, that absolutely would be seen as a red flag. When I looked at her, I didn't see someone I loved anymore, at least not in the same way I had some time ago. That had faded, and for a while, it was replaced by someone else, but now, I wasn't sure I loved anyone that wasn't my family. Still, to see Helen broken like this, made a victim of the time she lived in…/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanSuddenly, an idea popped into my head. It was stupid, it was a really dumb risk, and it was definitely fueled partially by nostalgia and dreams of what could have been, but we could do it. If Helen could come with us, maybe she'd be able to see what we could have in 2019; how she didn't have to pretend to be someone she wasn't./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanBut as soon as the idea fully passed through me, I knew it wouldn't be possible. Taking someone that wasn't supposed to be in that time could cause damaging repercussions, more than we'd likely already caused. Not to mention, I didn't know how Helen would react to the modern world, nor did I have a guarantee that she would slowly forget who she'd been convinced she was and fall back into the woman I'd known./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI didn't love this her, not anymore. She had to stay here. But that didn't mean I couldn't spare another minute to talk to her one last time. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Look, I just… I just wanted to make sure you were okay," I admitted, trying my best to keep my posture straight as usual. "I know there are things you refuse to talk about, and that's fine, but as someone who cares about you, I can't keep wondering if you're doing okay. You don't have to go in-depth, you don't have to talk like everything's fine and normal and happy, I just need emsomething/em."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanFor a moment, I thought she was maybe considering letting me in. Helen stepped back a little bit, the expressions on her face shifting in rapid-fire. The conflict in her kept on raging, fighting the war inside her with no less intensity than it did back when I first saw her after she had come back from that god-awful place. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanUnfortunately, just a moment later, she fell back into that rigid, faking-happiness demeanor./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Helen really was trying her best to uphold this perfect wife image. "I have a husband that loves me, and I love him dearly, and I have a little boy to love. I live a happy life at home, cooking and cleaning the day away, and once my maternity leave is over, I'll head back to the job at Neiman Marcus."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI smiled to myself, trying to keep it subtle. Of course Helen worked there; only the most elegant of women worked there. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with you. I…" I clicked my heels together, trying to fight back the nerves. "Well, honestly, I met someone else, and things sort of went south with her, too—she wasn't the person I thought she was—and ever since things started to go downhill, I started to wonder what your life was like, and now…" My eyes went right back to that little baby, who had somehow remained completely still most of the time. "…now I know."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Well, I hope you're not planning to make these visits regular." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIt felt as though I'd been stabbed, right in my chest. I glared straight at Helen, unsure that what I'd just heard was correct. She wasn't even bothering with pleasantries at this point, opting to instead just verbally push me out the door and away from her life. A certain rage started to build up in the pit of my stomach, one I knew all too well, but I tried my best not to let it be unleashed./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Helen, I—"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You can't come back here, Mina." I watched as conflicted tears started to well up in her eyes. "You are not welcome back. I don't want to see you back here again, or I swear to God, Mina, I'll…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe couldn't finish whatever that threat was meant to be, but that didn't matter. I'd basically stopped listening at that point, my own bitter tears blurring my vision. Without hesitation, I took a step back, starting to head toward my car./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Then I guess you're lucky," I hissed. "You're not going to have to worry about me being around anymore."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI could hear Helen calling out to me as I turned around and made my way into my car, but I didn't want to spare anything for her, pulling out of her driveway as fast as I could. It was a risk even going there in the first place, and what did I expect? That she'd pull me into her arms and sob and we'd admit we still loved each other? That things wouldn't have changed one bit between the two of us? I couldn't love someone without it ending in tragedy, I'd learned that now. Helen was just the start of it all./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI still hadn't completely composed myself as I pulled back up in front of Elliott's building and made my way upstairs. I still had enough time to finish up things around here, but it would be a little tight, so I had to work fast. However, not long after I opened the door, Diego emerged from what had been Elliott's bedroom. Immediately, I knew he could tell something was wrong, and although I'd convinced myself I didn't have time to answer the line of questioning that was coming for me, in reality, I absolutely did./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Hey, sis… what happened?" I shook my head, my eyes falling to my feet as he placed his hands on my upper arms, trying to get me to meet eyes with him. "You know you can tell me." It still took me a minute, but I managed to finally get the problem out./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I decided it was a good idea to go see Helen before I left." Diego raised one of his brows, not filled in on the whole backstory. "She was… my last girlfriend. And her family found out about us and forced her into that goddamned conversion therapy, and…" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI couldn't finish it, but I didn't think I needed to, based on Diego's reaction. Without any more hesitation, he pulled me into a hug, trying to offer a bandage for a wound that couldn't be healed with anything but enough time for a scab to form. I thought that time had come, but the moment I saw her, it opened right back up again, and now, blood was everywhere. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThough I found this comforting, I didn't want to waste much more time, so I pushed away and wiped my eyes, as though I could just get rid of anything that just happened./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I, uh… I'm gonna go bury Elliott," I announced. "There's a lot of dirt near that water tower nearby, so I figured… I wouldn't leave him here to rot." Diego shook his head, trying to pull me back as I started to walk toward Elliott's corpse, already beginning to smell./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Mina, you don't have to do that. I was planning on going soon to—"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I need this," I interrupted, offering him a sad smile. "I can carry the body no problem. And I'll make sure I'm back in time." I placed a finger over the smooth glass of the watch, its surface providing a little bit of comfort. "I have a promise to uphold to a certain brother, so I'll have to be five minutes earlier."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI knew Diego didn't have a clue what the hell I was talking about, but I felt like that was one of those things I didn't need to clarify. Those promises and deals were between my twin and I, and no one else really was allowed in on them unless we wanted them to be. It had always been that way./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe drive out to the water tower had been tortuous. The smell of the cadaver cut all the way through the trunk, to the point where I had to roll down my windows to keep from choking on it. I hoped no police officer or some random person walking along would catch a whiff of it as well and stop me, but I managed to get out there and unload the shovel and his body without anyone noticing, so I called that a win for the moment./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI wasn't sure how long I had been digging for, when I heard footsteps crunching against the dirt. Given I had a mutilated body next to me, I was already on edge, and I honestly thought it was either one of the Swedes, or someone that followed me out from town that had smelled the rot and wanted to get their facts straight before calling someone. But, instead, when I turned around, shovel ready to strike, I just spotted the tall, beautiful woman I had loved so recently, dressed all in black, save for her bright red boots. Frustrated, I turned back to digging, not wanting to look directly at her for the moment./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Oh, good," I deadpanned. "It's you." Despite my unwelcoming demeanor, Lila dared to step closer./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Weird time to garden," she observed, attempting to make casual conversation like nothing happened. "Can we talk? The truth this time." How unbelievably absurd that she would suggest something like that./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Oh, I know the truth," I scoffed, throwing away more dirt. "Did you really think Five wouldn't tell me everything?" She crossed her arms and flicked her gaze away from me. Her guilt was almost convincing, but I had to remember who she worked for. "You used me, Lila. You're a liar."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Oh, come on." Lila almost sounded like she was laughing. "What did I really lie about?" I stood up straight, leaning against the shovel as I stared her down./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Who you are, who you work for, why you're here, what you want from us. That's all."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Yeah, but the rest was true." I shook my head in disbelief. It was like she didn't believe she'd done anything wrong. "Everyone lies, Mina, and… and I was only lying to protect you. Mostly." Furious, I slammed the shovel down into the dirt and dared to step closer to her, confronting her directly./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You lied about loving me, too. You never gave a shit about me at all, you just wanted to use me to get to my brother. How in the hell is that lying to protect me?" Lila stuttered, unable to form an answer, and I moved back. "That's just cruelty, plain and simple. Do you know how hard it is to trust people when your whole childhood was bullshit manipulation?" Surprisingly, she nodded. "Then why would you do that to me?" My line of questioning had left her speechless, shattering any chance I'd hoped for of maybe being able to forgive her. "Tell you what, I'm gonna finish this hole… get back to my family and go home, and forget we ever met."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHurt, Lila turned away and started to leave, when her eyes fell on the wagon with Elliott's covered corpse in it. The way it had been positioned left his feet hanging out, and I watched as she recognized the greenish-yellow nail polish she'd put on his feet way back when. As my memory drifted back to that time, I found myself desperately wishing to go back to then, back to a time before all of this went to shit. But then, I'd just have to go through the hurt all over again./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Wait, is that… is that dentist-chair guy?" I paused my movements for a second, brutally reminded of how Luther, Diego and I had found him. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Elliott," I reminded her. "Your Swedish buddies got him."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Oh, shit," Lila gagged as she dared to pull back the cloth covering him for a moment. "I liked that shit-muppet." I watched, perplexed, as she removed a flask from her back pocket and unscrewed the top. Did she really just carry that around? "Well, here's to Elliott, I guess. Um… I'll miss his crazy theories… and I'll miss sharing his bed with you."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThat caught me off guard, causing me to stumble in my movements slightly. Slowly, I dared to look up at her as she took a swig of the drink within, then offered me some. Half of me screamed not to take it, and warned it was a trap, but a sentimental and broken part of me took over, and I decided to accept her offering./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe liquid burned slightly as it went down, but I didn't mind. It was what came after that was far worse. Right as I bent down to start digging again, my limbs turned to jelly, and the whole world started to swing and spin. I tried to reach out and grab onto something, but there was nothing there for me to take. Right before I fell down, I watched Lila spit out the drink she pretended to swallow, then everything went completely black./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"What—what the hell are you doing here?" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"There was something hostile about her tone, shocking me slightly. I didn't even know she could be angry, let alone snippy and short with someone. I knew she thought her mind was reshaped, or whatever bullshit they hammer into heads, but she'd changed her entire personality./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It's… sort of complicated." She didn't bother to fight a little, tiny smile that poked its way through./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It always is."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe two of us fell back into an uncomfortable silence, pulling at articles of clothing and moving our eyes back down to our feet, and, in Helen's case, to the baby. I felt a conflict in my heart as I looked at that little thing, staring right back at me with big, brown eyes, curious as to who exactly this woman was at the door. This kid would go his whole life without ever knowing who his mother really was, instead living under something false, created by torture and the breaking of a desperate, worn-down spirit. The experience was different for everyone, but I knew Helen—never angry or violent, but damn, if she wasn't a fighter. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanBriefly, I glanced down at the watch wrapped securely around my wrist. I didn't have much time left here if I wanted to get the last thing on my list done before I had to meet Five and the rest of our siblings back at what had been Elliott's. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanOnce again, the image of his corpse pushed its way forward, and I quickly tried to brush it away by speaking./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I know this is a little rude to ask, but… do you mind if I come in?" Without really waiting for an answer, I tried to take a step forward, but Helen quickly moved to block my path, the line of her gaze well past me, more focused on any neighbors. "Helen, you don't have to worry about that. They'll probably just think I'm a friend coming to visit." That brought her attention back to me. I flinched as a certain fire lit behind her eyes, pushing me back without laying a finger on me./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You can't be here, Mina," she snapped suddenly. "You just can't." I shook my head, trying to calm her back down./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"No, Helen, you don't understand. I'm not here to—"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You have to leave." Her words came out with the fury of an army general's barking commands. My jaw fell agape a little, unsure of who exactly was standing in front of me. This was just the shell of the woman I had been in love with not too long ago. "If David comes home, he's gonna start askin' questions, and I'm not gonna know how to answer them without…" Her breath caught in her throat, and her stern and tall posture faltered slightly./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIt took everything in me not to reach out and grab her free hand, or brush some of that red hair out of her eyes. If any nosy neighbors were watching us, that absolutely would be seen as a red flag. When I looked at her, I didn't see someone I loved anymore, at least not in the same way I had some time ago. That had faded, and for a while, it was replaced by someone else, but now, I wasn't sure I loved anyone that wasn't my family. Still, to see Helen broken like this, made a victim of the time she lived in…/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanSuddenly, an idea popped into my head. It was stupid, it was a really dumb risk, and it was definitely fueled partially by nostalgia and dreams of what could have been, but we could do it. If Helen could come with us, maybe she'd be able to see what we could have in 2019; how she didn't have to pretend to be someone she wasn't./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanBut as soon as the idea fully passed through me, I knew it wouldn't be possible. Taking someone that wasn't supposed to be in that time could cause damaging repercussions, more than we'd likely already caused. Not to mention, I didn't know how Helen would react to the modern world, nor did I have a guarantee that she would slowly forget who she'd been convinced she was and fall back into the woman I'd known./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI didn't love this her, not anymore. She had to stay here. But that didn't mean I couldn't spare another minute to talk to her one last time. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Look, I just… I just wanted to make sure you were okay," I admitted, trying my best to keep my posture straight as usual. "I know there are things you refuse to talk about, and that's fine, but as someone who cares about you, I can't keep wondering if you're doing okay. You don't have to go in-depth, you don't have to talk like everything's fine and normal and happy, I just need emsomething/em."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanFor a moment, I thought she was maybe considering letting me in. Helen stepped back a little bit, the expressions on her face shifting in rapid-fire. The conflict in her kept on raging, fighting the war inside her with no less intensity than it did back when I first saw her after she had come back from that god-awful place. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanUnfortunately, just a moment later, she fell back into that rigid, faking-happiness demeanor./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Helen really was trying her best to uphold this perfect wife image. "I have a husband that loves me, and I love him dearly, and I have a little boy to love. I live a happy life at home, cooking and cleaning the day away, and once my maternity leave is over, I'll head back to the job at Neiman Marcus."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI smiled to myself, trying to keep it subtle. Of course Helen worked there; only the most elegant of women worked there. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with you. I…" I clicked my heels together, trying to fight back the nerves. "Well, honestly, I met someone else, and things sort of went south with her, too—she wasn't the person I thought she was—and ever since things started to go downhill, I started to wonder what your life was like, and now…" My eyes went right back to that little baby, who had somehow remained completely still most of the time. "…now I know."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Well, I hope you're not planning to make these visits regular." /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIt felt as though I'd been stabbed, right in my chest. I glared straight at Helen, unsure that what I'd just heard was correct. She wasn't even bothering with pleasantries at this point, opting to instead just verbally push me out the door and away from her life. A certain rage started to build up in the pit of my stomach, one I knew all too well, but I tried my best not to let it be unleashed./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Helen, I—"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You can't come back here, Mina." I watched as conflicted tears started to well up in her eyes. "You are not welcome back. I don't want to see you back here again, or I swear to God, Mina, I'll…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe couldn't finish whatever that threat was meant to be, but that didn't matter. I'd basically stopped listening at that point, my own bitter tears blurring my vision. Without hesitation, I took a step back, starting to head toward my car./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Then I guess you're lucky," I hissed. "You're not going to have to worry about me being around anymore."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI could hear Helen calling out to me as I turned around and made my way into my car, but I didn't want to spare anything for her, pulling out of her driveway as fast as I could. It was a risk even going there in the first place, and what did I expect? That she'd pull me into her arms and sob and we'd admit we still loved each other? That things wouldn't have changed one bit between the two of us? I couldn't love someone without it ending in tragedy, I'd learned that now. Helen was just the start of it all./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI still hadn't completely composed myself as I pulled back up in front of Elliott's building and made my way upstairs. I still had enough time to finish up things around here, but it would be a little tight, so I had to work fast. However, not long after I opened the door, Diego emerged from what had been Elliott's bedroom. Immediately, I knew he could tell something was wrong, and although I'd convinced myself I didn't have time to answer the line of questioning that was coming for me, in reality, I absolutely did./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Hey, sis… what happened?" I shook my head, my eyes falling to my feet as he placed his hands on my upper arms, trying to get me to meet eyes with him. "You know you can tell me." It still took me a minute, but I managed to finally get the problem out./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I decided it was a good idea to go see Helen before I left." Diego raised one of his brows, not filled in on the whole backstory. "She was… my last girlfriend. And her family found out about us and forced her into that goddamned conversion therapy, and…" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI couldn't finish it, but I didn't think I needed to, based on Diego's reaction. Without any more hesitation, he pulled me into a hug, trying to offer a bandage for a wound that couldn't be healed with anything but enough time for a scab to form. I thought that time had come, but the moment I saw her, it opened right back up again, and now, blood was everywhere. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThough I found this comforting, I didn't want to waste much more time, so I pushed away and wiped my eyes, as though I could just get rid of anything that just happened./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I, uh… I'm gonna go bury Elliott," I announced. "There's a lot of dirt near that water tower nearby, so I figured… I wouldn't leave him here to rot." Diego shook his head, trying to pull me back as I started to walk toward Elliott's corpse, already beginning to smell./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Mina, you don't have to do that. I was planning on going soon to—"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I need this," I interrupted, offering him a sad smile. "I can carry the body no problem. And I'll make sure I'm back in time." I placed a finger over the smooth glass of the watch, its surface providing a little bit of comfort. "I have a promise to uphold to a certain brother, so I'll have to be five minutes earlier."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI knew Diego didn't have a clue what the hell I was talking about, but I felt like that was one of those things I didn't need to clarify. Those promises and deals were between my twin and I, and no one else really was allowed in on them unless we wanted them to be. It had always been that way./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe drive out to the water tower had been tortuous. The smell of the cadaver cut all the way through the trunk, to the point where I had to roll down my windows to keep from choking on it. I hoped no police officer or some random person walking along would catch a whiff of it as well and stop me, but I managed to get out there and unload the shovel and his body without anyone noticing, so I called that a win for the moment./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanI wasn't sure how long I had been digging for, when I heard footsteps crunching against the dirt. Given I had a mutilated body next to me, I was already on edge, and I honestly thought it was either one of the Swedes, or someone that followed me out from town that had smelled the rot and wanted to get their facts straight before calling someone. But, instead, when I turned around, shovel ready to strike, I just spotted the tall, beautiful woman I had loved so recently, dressed all in black, save for her bright red boots. Frustrated, I turned back to digging, not wanting to look directly at her for the moment./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Oh, good," I deadpanned. "It's you." Despite my unwelcoming demeanor, Lila dared to step closer./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Weird time to garden," she observed, attempting to make casual conversation like nothing happened. "Can we talk? The truth this time." How unbelievably absurd that she would suggest something like that./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Oh, I know the truth," I scoffed, throwing away more dirt. "Did you really think Five wouldn't tell me everything?" She crossed her arms and flicked her gaze away from me. Her guilt was almost convincing, but I had to remember who she worked for. "You used me, Lila. You're a liar."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Oh, come on." Lila almost sounded like she was laughing. "What did I really lie about?" I stood up straight, leaning against the shovel as I stared her down./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Who you are, who you work for, why you're here, what you want from us. That's all."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Yeah, but the rest was true." I shook my head in disbelief. It was like she didn't believe she'd done anything wrong. "Everyone lies, Mina, and… and I was only lying to protect you. Mostly." Furious, I slammed the shovel down into the dirt and dared to step closer to her, confronting her directly./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You lied about loving me, too. You never gave a shit about me at all, you just wanted to use me to get to my brother. How in the hell is that lying to protect me?" Lila stuttered, unable to form an answer, and I moved back. "That's just cruelty, plain and simple. Do you know how hard it is to trust people when your whole childhood was bullshit manipulation?" Surprisingly, she nodded. "Then why would you do that to me?" My line of questioning had left her speechless, shattering any chance I'd hoped for of maybe being able to forgive her. "Tell you what, I'm gonna finish this hole… get back to my family and go home, and forget we ever met."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHurt, Lila turned away and started to leave, when her eyes fell on the wagon with Elliott's covered corpse in it. The way it had been positioned left his feet hanging out, and I watched as she recognized the greenish-yellow nail polish she'd put on his feet way back when. As my memory drifted back to that time, I found myself desperately wishing to go back to then, back to a time before all of this went to shit. But then, I'd just have to go through the hurt all over again./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Wait, is that… is that dentist-chair guy?" I paused my movements for a second, brutally reminded of how Luther, Diego and I had found him. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Elliott," I reminded her. "Your Swedish buddies got him."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Oh, shit," Lila gagged as she dared to pull back the cloth covering him for a moment. "I liked that shit-muppet." I watched, perplexed, as she removed a flask from her back pocket and unscrewed the top. Did she really just carry that around? "Well, here's to Elliott, I guess. Um… I'll miss his crazy theories… and I'll miss sharing his bed with you."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThat caught me off guard, causing me to stumble in my movements slightly. Slowly, I dared to look up at her as she took a swig of the drink within, then offered me some. Half of me screamed not to take it, and warned it was a trap, but a sentimental and broken part of me took over, and I decided to accept her offering./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe liquid burned slightly as it went down, but I didn't mind. It was what came after that was far worse. Right as I bent down to start digging again, my limbs turned to jelly, and the whole world started to swing and spin. I tried to reach out and grab onto something, but there was nothing there for me to take. Right before I fell down, I watched Lila spit out the drink she pretended to swallow, then everything went completely black./span/p