Thunderbird One shuddered as she slid into dock, her whole fuselage groaning as if in relief. As she relaxed, her airframe creaked, losing heat to the cool of the hangar and for a moment everything was still.
Scott let his shoulders loosen, his whole body slumping in his pilot's chair. One by one, he uncurled his fingers from the controls, his joints stiff from holding them so tight.
His head dropped back against the headrest and his eyes closed.
God, damn.
Breath hissed between his teeth as he let it out as if he had been holding it in all afternoon.
It certainly felt like he had.
They couldn't save everyone.
They couldn't.
But god, how he tried.
He drew the breath back in and activated pilot retrieval. One's main viewing hatch folded back and the platform extended out from the dock as his chair unfolded to meet it.
Even then it took him a long moment to move.
"Scott?" John startled him. "You okay?"
He drew his shoulders up, straightening automatically. "Perfectly fine, Thunderbird Five."
There was a grunt from orbit. John didn't believe him.
Scott was not surprised.
A sigh and he pushed himself out of his seat and onto the delivery platform, forcing the correct stance so he didn't abruptly end his career on the concrete floor far below.
Machinery that had no concept of emotional state hummed smoothly and retrieved him back to solid ground. He took the last step.
Scott stared at his elevator for a solid minute before turning to the stairs and taking them instead.
He needed to move. Needed start his heart beating again. Needed to rescue himself from that vast hole that was sucking him down into its depths. That same empty hole those dead eyes had lured him to once the boy's life had fluttered away and…
He closed his eyes and rubbed his face with a gloved hand.
It was always the eyes that got him.
These ones had been brown, somewhere between Virgil's and Gordon's and…oh god.
Move.
He threw himself up the stairs. Fortunately, there was a lot of them and they made his body work hard. By the time he made it to the locker room, he was panting.
His own breath was harsh in his ears and had a helplessness to it he didn't want to acknowledge.
He shed uniform. His gloves hit the bench, followed by his baldric, his boots skidding across the floor. Struggling not to think, he unzipped his flight suit and shed the thick material, barely acknowledging the cool air as it hit the bare skin of his arms.
Another moment and he flung off his undershirt and shorts and padded over to a shower cubicle naked as the day he was born.
Goose pimples raised on his arms.
The shower was as hot as he could get it. But not hot enough to wash away the bruises he had no doubt Virgil would be targeting the moment he laid eyes on his eldest brother.
Scott's sigh couldn't be heard above the water spray.
Body scrubbed clean…ever so clean…red raw in places…the Commander of International Rescue stood under the steaming shower and closed his eyes.
You can't save everyone.
It was his father's voice. The same voice that came to him in all difficult moments. Grey eyes, reassuring smile and a strength Scott wished daily that he had. Jeff Tracy was a legend, bigger than life. Jeff Tracy was his father.
Jeff Tracy was a voice that guided him, that saved him, held him tight and prevented him from falling into that pit of despair that sometimes just loomed.
He turned the water off and let the remains drip off his body.
His left thigh was turning an ugly purple.
Damn.
Another sigh and he pushed aside the cubicle door and grabbed a towel.
It was big, extra fluffy, sky blue and all Virgil's idea. He could still see his brother making his case for luxury towels in the locker room where they were needed. Mental health, he claimed.
Scott, Air Force to the core, had used abrasive cardboard squares masquerading as towels enough times to acknowledge the difference and how right his little brother was. It wasn't a luxury; it was a necessity.
Scott buried his face in deep cotton as the cool air wrapped around him. Another moment and he was rubbing himself dry, his thigh, left ribcage and arm complained. The ache was creeping up on him. He hadn't really noticed other than the sharp collision when he had initially fallen.
But he hadn't had time. Arms full of dying rescuee with a building on its way down…he did what he had to do.
Still, it hadn't been enough.
First John and then Virgil yelling at him over comms. He was fine. The teenage boy was dead, but Scott Tracy was fine.
Just fine.
He scrubbed his hair dry, trying his best to ignore the fact his left arm hated being lifted above his shoulders.
Hair hung in his eyes and he brushed it aside, irritably.
Somewhere outside the rock walls of the locker room a familiar roar swelled and he knew Thunderbird Two and his three brothers were moments away from invading this quiet space.
Scott straightened. It was inevitable. Virgil would not let him escape again, but there might be a few more minutes alone if he got his shit together.
One of the advantages of flying the fast 'bird. First dibs at the showers and that moment to gather himself before his brothers cornered him.
Digging through his locker, he found some underwear, loose pants and an old t-shirt. His usual casual wear beckoned, but even he knew he wasn't fit to go out again, even if Virgil hadn't grounded him yet.
He wasn't stupid.
Tomorrow, yes. Today? He needed a stiff drink and time to himself.
So that is exactly what he did. Detouring to the drinks cabinet, he nabbed himself a bottle of scotch and two tumblers. Two, because he was a realist.
Hair still a damp mess, he skipped up to his rooms, grabbed his tablet, and hid on his own private balcony. From here, he could see the Island, the villa below and the sky to the south. Mateo had birds hovering over it like it always did in the early evening as the day started winding down.
His eyes randomly tracked a lone bird, different from the others, coasting past high above the Island.
He threw himself into an overly plush lounger. Again, a sky blue and Virgil-instigated. Scott had returned from a mission several years ago to find it sitting on his balcony. Not a word had been said, but he knew it was Virgil. Just like the towels, it wasn't extravagance, it was mental health and Scott had to admit to curling up in the contraption on many an occasion since.
The tablet, bottle of whisky and tumblers landed with a thud on the wooden table beside it.
His body creaked as he folded into the chair and he was reminded that he would likely have a medic brother on his ass sometime soon.
He lay back and closed his eyes and forced every to muscle relax.
And tried to ignore the eyes etched into his mind.
Only to be startled awake as someone loomed over him.
"Hey, hey, it's only me." Familiar, soft baritone and deep brown eyes, Virgil was crouched down beside him. His brother's hair was still curly damp from the shower and he was frowning…at the bruises on Scott's arm. "Just chasing you up after that fall."
Scott shifted on the lounger and his whole body protested. Damnit. "I'm fine, Virgil."
"I'll decide that." That prompted the ghastly yellow scanner light to flicker across his body.
"Virgil!"
His brother's lips thinned to a line as he read the scanner's readout. "You're off rota at least twenty-four hours, possibly more."
"I know that."
"I'll note that against your diagnosis of 'fine'."
Scott glared at his brother.
Virgil rolled back on his heels, eyes assessing in that damned medical way of his.
"Virgil, I'm okay. A few bruises. I'll live. Stop worrying." He hated being the source of anxiety.
Still, his brother stared, his frown emphasizing that scar between his eyebrows.
"What?!"
Virgil's eyes didn't waver. "Sit up."
"Why?"
"Scott…"
Fine. He pushed himself up out of the lounger and sat on its side, frustrated as all hell as to why his brother was being such a pain.
Virgil rolled onto his knees and before Scott could do anything, he found himself wrapped in a massive hug.
His brother's arms, ever so strong, built for heavy lifting, held him tight, but gently, Virgil's damp hair brushing his cheek as his head rested on Scott's shoulder.
Startled, it took Scott a blink to return the gesture, his longer arms flailing for just that moment of surprise before curling around red flannel. "Virgil? You okay?"
His brother's only answer was to tighten his hold a little more.
Scott frowned, unsure what the hell was going on, but Virgil didn't let go and Scott could only stay tensed up for so long before he was forced to relax into his brother's embrace.
"What are you doing?" It was asked against flannel and his own breath was warm against his lips.
Virgil still didn't answer, but one large hand crept onto the back of Scott's head, fingers stroking hair.
What?
But somehow the question never made it to his lips. Somehow, his body began to melt, each muscle falling limp, those strong arms taking the place of the tension in his body.
Fingers carded through his hair.
"Virg…" But it was little more than breath and he found himself blinking rapidly.
No.
Still, Virgil didn't stop. Scott could feel his brother's steady pulse, thrumming against his neck, his chest moving with each breath.
Scott closed his eyes.
Ever so warm.
He could have struggled, fought, pushed his brother away. But…
Brown eyes vacant and hollow. The image had him flinching and the arms around him reacted, shifting just a little. His brother's baritone rumbled a reassurance he didn't quite hear.
But still Virgil held him.
Held him.
Scott had no resistance left.
That baritone rumbled again and his brother's free hand began stroking his back.
Nonsense words. His brother was spouting nonsense words.
But Scott's eyes were closed and his body spent. He wilted into his brother's arms and found himself breaking on the inside.
Vacant, hollow eyes.
So young.
So like a little brother.
Scott scrunched up his face, fighting his own reaction. But Virgil was still rumbling, still stroking his hair.
A single tear escaped to dampen red flannel.
No.
No.
He let the wave of grief wash over him, but refused to react, waiting for it to wane away.
His heart beat too fast and it left him exhausted.
And still Virgil held him.
He lost time for a bit there. Eyes closed. Warm flannel. His brother's voice. A small part of him resisted it. Virgil was a little brother despite their closeness in age. Scott should be the comforter, always…
But the little boy who had lost his mom, the young man who had lost his dad…the commander who lost a young teenager in his arms today…took that moment, grabbing it like a life line and accepting what his brother was trying to give him.
He sat there, he didn't know how long, just existing, warm and safe.
Perhaps he would have fallen asleep right there in his brother's arms, whether he would be embarrassed to admit it or not, but there were bruises and aches and eventually he was forced to gently pull away.
Warm brown eyes peered up at him, still worried. Virgil's hand was on Scott's knee as if he didn't want to let go.
"Thanks, Virg."
That hand squeezed his knee in acknowledgement. "Lie down and get some rest." His little brother stood up and walked out of sight a moment, only to return hauling another lounger, this one in a deep green. "John's coming down in the morning. We can debrief then." Virgil grunted as he put the lounge down. "Grandma has an eye on Gordon and Alan, but the Fish has a new Buddy and Ellie series and Alan is hip deep in that latest game of his. I think they're good." He threw himself onto the lounge and the structure creaked under his weight. He lay back, crossed his feet at his ankles and closed his eyes. Virgil was obviously here for the long haul.
Scott wasn't surprised.
The scanner lay discarded on the table.
A sigh and he lay back just like his brother. The sky was beginning to pink in the east, the echoes of a sunset he couldn't see lighting up Mateo.
He felt far more relaxed than he had earlier. A tension had been eased, while not entirely, that would take time, lessened considerably.
He eyed his medic brother. The man looked like he was going to fall asleep. The sight of him had Scott yawning.
Damn him.
But it was thought with fondness and with a sudden urge to reach out and hug his brother again.
"Go to sleep, Scott."
Virgil didn't even bother to open his eyes.
Scott sighed and looked back up at the sky. It had been a shit day. Not the first. Probably not the last. Vacant eyes still haunted him and probably would for some time, but a pair of rich, brown eyes full of life and not a little love had somehow managed to take the edge off. His brother had filled that cold vacuum of a hole with warmth.
Virgil began to snore and Scott was forced to smile.
The snoring was probably fake, but it was lulling nonetheless. Safe and home.
Loved.
Scott closed his eyes.
And let himself drift away.
-o-o-o-
FIN.