Erin felt exhausted and dirty by the time they arrived in Marrakech. The train, while nice, had been long and somewhat bumpy, and while she had tried to catch a few moments of sleep on Spencer's shoulder, she had found that fitful at best. But as they stepped into the train station, the first friendly face she saw was Alex's, and before she could throw up her reserved mask, a wide grin spread across her face as she stepped towards her. "Lexie!" she called out as loudly as she dared.
"Hey, Erin. I actually just arrived myself, so I thought that we could head to the hotel together?"
She nodded and took one of the bags from Spencer's arms, throwing the strap over her shoulder before falling into step with them as they went out to the taxi stand. It didn't take long to hire one to take them to their hotel, Spencer's Arabic much better than it had been before. "I'm sorry, I'm exhausted, so my filters aren't working as they should. How was your journey?"
"Long. I'm hoping you don't mind if I take a nap before we go to supper."
"I was planning on doing the same thing, so I won't mind at all. Spencer booked us one room with two beds, since it's still a bit odd for a single woman to be alone here."
"Should I have brought earplugs?"
Erin giggled a little as she shook her head. "Spencer doesn't snore, and I don't think that I do, so you'll be fine." It felt good to be talking to Alex like this, so free and without the animosity between them that had married so much of their working relationship the last six months. "I know that we need to have a serious talk, but could we wait until we're home for that? I've been having such a lovely time with Spencer, and I want to hold on to that feeling for as long as possible. I know, that's not the best solution, but it's the one that I want right now?"
"I understand completely, Erin, and I think that would be the best solution for this trip."
Her smile widened a little as she nudged her shoulder into Alex's, catching the quick smirk that was covered up with her usual cool expression. "Oh, and Spencer wanted to know if you and David are together."
She knew that Alex would pick up on the double meaning of the word, and from the way that her knee knocked into the back of Spencer's seat with some force, she knew that she was not amused. "Rossi is a good colleague, but his definition of a good time is much different than mine is. Suffice it to say, we are enjoying our time in Tangier, but not together."
Spencer nodded and shot her a quick look, but she just smiled placidly in return before yawning deeply. "We're nearly there, and then you can sleep," he murmured and she gave him a soft smile as she worried her ring with her thumb.
"That's new."
"It's a necessity." Alex nodded as she let out a soft yawn of her own, leaning towards Erin as she tried to get comfortable in her seat. The rest of the ride was quiet, something that she didn't mind, as her eyes grew heavier and heavier as the miles went on. Soon, though, they were coming to a stop in front of their hotel, and she allowed Spencer to help her out of the taxi before grabbing her bag from the trunk, watching Alex shoulder her small bag as she looked askance at their three. "I may have gone a bit overboard with purchasing gifts for my children."
"Some things never change," she replied with a light chuckle as they went inside. "Are you going to check us in, Spence?"
"Yeah, just wait for me over there." He gestured towards some free chairs in the lobby, and Erin nodded as she made her way there, Alex close to her side. She didn't want to sit down, certain that she might fall asleep if she did so, and so she just dropped the heavier bag into the chair and the stretched, trying to crack her back. Erin watched him the entire time, a silly smile on her lips the entire time.
"You've fallen in love with him."
"Hmm?" she asked as she lazily turned her head to look at Alex.
"Don't deflect, you've fallen in love with him. I recognize the signs, I saw them for myself once, long ago. Love always looked good on you, but this is really quick."
"Sometimes all it takes is six seconds to know that you've found the other half of your heart for this season in your life. I knew that quickly with you, I just also knew that you were not that quick as myself, so I held myself back until you were ready. Only, the sands shifted beneath our feet before…
Erin stopped speaking as tears clogged her throat. This was not how she wanted this to go, and she turned away to look at Spencer once more, trying to blink away the tears in her eyes. She felt Alex brush her hand against her side, and she sighed as she stepped closer to the woman, wanting to explain what had discombobulated her so, knowing that she might never have the right words for it.
"We're on the tenth floor," Spencer said as he ambled over to them, passing a key to Alex. "Are you ready to head up?" Erin nodded as she picked up the bags and started for the elevators. Spencer caught hold of her hand and gently pulled on it in order to get her to walk by his side. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know, I think that I'm overtired. I'm sorry to be such a wet blanket." She squeezed his hand as Alex pressed the up button on the wall. They all were quiet as they rode up to the tenth floor, and Erin felt like her shaky breaths were as loud as shouts, since that's all she could hear. Erin was the first one off the elevator when the doors opened on the correct floor, and it was only when she reached the first junction that she realized she had no idea which way to go.
"To the left, darling," Spencer whispered in her ear as he came up to her, and she nodded and turned down the hall, letting him take the lead until he had reached their room for the next two nights. As soon as it was unlocked, she brushed past him and dropped the bags onto the dresser before claiming the bed closest to the windows and curling up on it, toeing her shoes off before bringing her knees to her chest. "I'm going to talk to the concierge about arranging flights back to Tangier for us all and where the best place to eat tonight would be. Will you two be all right here?"
"I think so, Spence. We're both just tired." Alex's reply stung, and Erin screwed her eyes tightly closed as she listened to the door close. It only took a few moments for Alex to come over and sit down next to her. "I guess that our hard conversation is going to happen now, because you can't go to sleep wanting to cry and feeling like you can't. I remember…"
Erin scooted over, allowing Alex to stretch out on the bed next to her. "That I wake up with a migraine when I hold the tears inside? Spencer hasn't seen that side of me yet, only you and Alan. I didn't hold my tears in around David, but that still didn't mean our relationship was healthy. I should have waited longer, like they said in Group, but I needed to feel something other than failure. And I have failed so many people, including you. Yours just cuts the deepest because of what we once meant to each other. I am so sorry, Alex. I understand if you can't ever forgive me, but I have to have a way to move on from this place. It just continues to eat at my soul."
"I have held on to this anger for so long that I don't know who I am without it, Erin. I can see that you've changed, that you've made amends with your team and tried to reach out to me, and I've been wrapped up in self-righteous anger. I can't say that it will be easy, or that I might not react angrily to you when caught off guard, but I am willing to start trying. Especially if you're going to be with Spence. You love him, and that is enough for me to start working towards reconciliation."
Her arm snaked around Erin's waist, holding her close as she began to cry, almost as if she had known that her words would cause Erin to burst into tears. "Thank you," she gasped out before closing her hand over Alex's arm, holding her in place as she cried herself to sleep.