Emily Patterson was only a few months old when her parents died, leaving her to be adopted by her godparents, Emily and Mitch Patterson. She loved her parents, and they loved her, but she knew that she would always be a shadow of the son they lost; the brother who died decades before she was born. She loved Luke, even without knowing him. His old music, his first guitar, he was the reason she had fallen in love with music in the first place. But it could never replace the hole in her chest, the hollow space carved out by a brother she would never know. Or so she thought, until her best friend Julie performed with her new holograph band — one of whom was Emily's own brother.

Disclaimer: I don't own JATP or anything associated with it, I only own the idea for Emily and the changes I've made from canon

WARNINGS: major character death (sunset curve), grief, mental health issues

I would also like to clarify right now that while there will be scenes where Emily thinks that her parents see her as a replacement for Luke, or don't love her as much, this is not the case! All three of them struggle a lot with their grief and it leads to communication issues, but her parents love her just as much as they love Luke and they see her as her own person, even if sometimes her similarities to Luke are painful! And Emily will learn over the course of the story that she is loved and valued just as much as he is

Unsaid Emily

Prologue: Fight Through The Dark

March was a difficult month for Emily. It always had been. Things would get easier after April 1st, she knew that, but until then she knew that she would just have to force herself through every day. And March 19th was no different.

In fact, March 19th was the worst day of all.

Yes, it was her birthday. Her fifteenth birthday, at that. If she were anyone else, it would have been an excuse to stay up until midnight, secretly listening to the Taylor Swift music that no one knew she loved. If she were anyone else she would have been excited to wake up, excited to finish school, excited to celebrate with her family. If she were anyone else, her birthday wouldn't also mean that it had been a quarter of a century since her big brother died.

Emily had never met her brother; he had died ten years before she was born. And they didn't share any DNA either, what with her being adopted when she was only a few months old. But that had never stopped her from feeling his absence like a gaping hole in her chest. She could have — she should have had a big brother, and every day she mourned the boy she never got to know.

That wasn't really a fair assessment though. In some ways, she knew him better than anyone else. She was his replacement, after all. And no, of course her parents would never call her that, but well… she wasn't an idiot. Luke was their son, Emily was their best friends' daughter, their goddaughter, and no matter how much they loved her, it wasn't the same.

And besides that, Emily had always felt connected to him. Maybe it was because she had grown up in his bedroom — the one she had insisted on keeping almost identical to how he had left it. Maybe it was because she fell in love with music thanks to his first guitar, or because half of her wardrobe was made of clothes she'd made out of his old clothes. Maybe it was because she had his old songbook, all the songs that he'd worked on and abandoned over the years, a look into his mind that no one else could ever have.

And maybe it was unhealthy to be this dependent on a ghost, on a boy she'd never know who wasn't even really her brother. That's what every therapist she'd ever had would say.

Unhealthy coping mechanisms. Mirroring. Adaptive personality. Trauma response. Unstable self image. Potential borderline personality. Cognitive behavioural therapy. Dialectical behaviour therapy.

Yeah, they'd had a lot to say.

But regardless of what it was or why she did it, Emily had formed a strong attachment to Luke Patterson's memory. And even if her parents' grief weren't so palpable, so suffocating, Emily would still hate her birthday. Her own grief left her hollow, but never more so than on her birthday. His deathday.

She had woken up in a haze that day, feeling his absence like a weight in her stomach. But her grief wasn't the priority, and neither was her birthday. It was a hard day for her parents, and Emily would always do whatever she could to make sure they didn't need to worry about her too. So she painted on her reliable mask, all shimmering highlighter and sharp contour, subtle mascara and glossy lips. She tucked her eyeliner, mascara, and concealer into the pocket of her backpack, knowing she would need them in a few hours, and made her way to her wardrobe.

It was a difficult balance sometimes; seeking the comfort she desperately needed without breaking the illusion that she was completely and totally, really 100%, absolutely okay.

But Emily Patterson was nothing if not an expert at walking that particular tightrope.

Start with the easy part — the navy jeggings that had long since molded themselves perfectly to her, and her favourite black booties, with the chunky heel that always made her feel like she could conquer the world. Then spend five minutes staring aimlessly before finally grabbing the shirt she always wore on her birthday.

It was one of Luke's, his favourite, from what she'd been told. From the first ever batch of Sunset Curve shirts, plain white with the logo in black. Luke had cut the sides off of his, so Emily always paired it with a basic black bandeau and a leather jacket to avoid any dress code violations. It had probably fit Luke perfectly, but it hung loose around Emily's neck and cut off mid-thigh, and it was her favourite. She only wore it twice a year, but something about putting it on always felt like home.

She took the stairs too at a time, hugging both of her parents before grabbing an oatmeal muffin and her water bottle and ducking out of the house. No one mentioned her birthday, and no one mentioned Luke, just like every year. She knew that she should go straight to school, that she should be there to support Flynn after Julie's attempt at rejoining the program had been denied. That's where her parents thought she was going, just like every year. But it was March 19th, so instead of turning right at the end of her street, she turned left.

Her phone buzzed, and she glanced down.

Uncle Trevor: You're clear at school, happy birthday kiddo

She sent him a quick thanks, complete with half a dozen blue hearts.

Silence was her only companion as she lost herself in the fog in her head. She knew the route by heart, having walked it every day for the past five years, and she didn't need to focus to make it to the graveyard, following the familiar path until she reached her destination.

Luke Patterson

Beloved son and friend

1978-1995

Keep dreaming like you'll live forever

"Hi, Luke," she said quietly, sitting down next to the headstone. "Happy birthday to me, I guess."

There wasn't much to say, really. She visited his gravestone every day after school just to talk about her day, telling him things she would never tell anyone else. She wasn't crazy, despite what dozens of therapists may have thought, she knew that Luke couldn't hear her. But she needed to get things off her chest, and, well, it worked. She filled him in on Julie's situation at school, but spent most of the morning just leaning against the gravestone as she ate her muffin, until the buzz of her phone broke through her fog. She grabbed her bag, saying a quick goodbye before heading back to the entrance of the cemetery, where a familiar car was waiting for her.

"Happy birthday, Emily," Trevor Wilson said, as soon as she had opened the passenger door to his Bugatti Veyron.

Emily gave him a soft smile, carefully blinking back tears. She wanted to thank him, but she didn't trust her voice not to crack.

Just like every year, Trevor was the one to get her excused from her morning classes, to drive her to school from the graveyard, and the only person to actually wish her a happy birthday. Mama Rose used to wish her a happy birthday too, complete with a birthday cupcake from Ray, but after last year… well, that wouldn't be happening anymore.

Emily buckled herself into the car, and Trevor set off towards the school. He didn't try to get her to talk, he never did, but there were very few places that felt as comfortable to her as his car.

Trevor Wilson was her best friend's — well, her former best friend's — dad, but he'd always been a second dad to Emily too. He had been there for as long as she could remember, along with Rose and Ray Molina and their daughters, and both of Flynn's moms. But Trevor and Rose had always seemed to be just a bit more involved, just a bit more understanding.

But Uncle Trevor was… he was different, even from Mama Rose. He had taught her to ride a bike and play guitar, he would buy her ice cream on the bad days, he designed a room for her in his mansion for the nights when the grief filled her house until she couldn't breathe. He had promised to teach her to drive, he was at all of her performances, even after she and Carrie had fought.

And she knew that it wasn't because her parents didn't love and support her, they did. But when they saw her on a bike, all they could see was Luke biking away for the last time; when they saw her perform all they could see was the first guitar they'd bought him; and grief wasn't something you could just choose not to feel. They loved her and they supported her as much as they possibly could, but Trevor was there for the days where they couldn't.

Like March 19th.

They reached the school in about fifteen minutes, just enough time for Emily to finish the McDonald's takeout that Trevor brought every year. That night she would have a quiet dinner with her parents and eat cake in her room, but for lunch she would eat her chicken nugget meal and McFlurry in the passenger seat of a sports car with one of the biggest celebrities of the decade. It was just how it went.

Once Trevor had pulled to a stop, Emily flipped down the visor, using the mirror to carefully fix her tear-smudged makeup. Within moments, she had forced a bright smile onto her face. Climbing out of the car, she shouldered her backpack and grabbed the garbage to toss out.

"Thanks, Uncle Bobby," she said softly, shutting the door behind her and heading into the school.

The spirit assembly should still be going on, she knew, so she made her way straight to the gym. It wasn't unusual to hear her classmates performing in assemblies, that was the whole point of the music program, but it was unusual to hear Julie Molina singing.

Not because her best friend had been kicked out of the program, but because she hadn't heard Julie sing in a year. Hearing it felt like coming home.

But even more unusual than Julie's voice were the oddly familiar male voices singing with her, and most unusual of all was the sudden screaming and cheering from her classmates as they rushed to the stage — not even Dirty Candy got that kind of a reaction.

And rise through the night

You and I

We will fight to shine together

Bright forever

Slowly, Emily made her way into the gym, struggling to get close enough to see what the hype was about. But once she did, she knew why the voices sounded so familiar. Because there, on the stage, with Julie Molina, in 2020, twenty-five years after they died, was Sunset Curve.

In times that I doubted myself

I felt like I needed some help

Stuck in my head

With nothing left

And there, in a familiarly side-cut tank top and beanie, stepping downstage towards the microphone, was Luke Patterson.

I feel something around me now

So unclear lifting me up

I found the ground I'm marching on

Thank you so much for reading! I very much meant to be focusing on SOWK but well, I watched JATP to deal with US election anxiety and immediately got inspired to make some ocs! Emily quickly became my favourite, and the enthusiasm that my friends showed for her really pushed me to start writing for her! This story is dedicated to randomfandoming1 and lizziesxltzmxn on tumblr because their immediate enthusiasm when I told them about this idea is the only reason this story got published! I really hope that you all love her as much as I do, and you can find more content for her on my tumblr randomestfandoms-ocs