22.

Forget Me Not

The press conference was easier than Ienzo thought it would be; that, or he'd completely dissociated. Either way, he said all the right things, beat for beat. The smile on Xehanort's face seemed very genuine.

He could not stop vomiting for the rest of the day.

He'd tried to subtly weave in his own messages for his family, but it was hard to tell how much would be edited out before it was formally released. He was aware he was going from something like an urban legend to quite literally a traitor. He'd deliberately likened the situation to the theater in his speech, that they "all had their own parts to play" in order for the country to move forward. Would Even pick up on the hint?

Lydia was unusually stony towards him for the rest of the day. He'd been too convincing. Finally, just after dinner, he reached out to touch her elbow as she took his (still quite full) tray. "Trust me," he said softly. "That wasn't me."

She pushed her glasses up her nose.

"I have a plan."

The look in her eye softened. "Of course, your highness," she said. "Of course."

Ienzo did not pay any attention to the news; it made him feel too sick. He had to focus instead on the thought of his daughter, on Demyx, on getting down into the lab. It would be endgame soon. He just had to let them know before it was too late.

This morning there was a note tucked under his breakfast tray. The china was different than usual, hyacinths painted around the rim; the note was a scrambled mess. Ienzo picked up the hint and undid the substitution cipher quickly-

Little stunt of yours might have been too successful. Rioting in the streets. International specialists are all claiming you have stockholm syndrome, or you're a fake. But the outcry is real, and we might be able to use it to our advantage.

Couple people owe me a favor… might be able to get you out for a few hours. In case you want to clear your name to the most important.

Scribbled below that was a set of numbers that Ienzo had a hard time decoding until he realized they were coordinates. He pulled out an old map of the city, wrote down the rough placement. The clothing he'd been given was a little too nice and noticeable for this sudden idea.

When she came back for the tray, Lydia again had a bundle of laundry. "This is lovely china," he said. "I didn't know we had it."

"Remy thought you might like it," she said.

Ah. So the chef was in on it too. "Send him my thanks, as always." He paused.

"Of course, your highness."

"Call me Ienzo."

She smiled a little, and nodded. She left him alone again, so rather than stew in the guilt of his own betrayal (despite it having a larger purpose), he decided to put his clean things away. But something was new. A black sweater. Boots. A jacket with a long hood.

It seemed all he had to do was wait.

Xehanort called him in to discuss their "media strategy." Despite his darkness being the world's worst secret, he hoped to announce, at some point, what they had been up to in his experiments. As sweetly as possible, Ienzo asked, "since the public would soon know anyway," if he might have some more insight into all this.

"I suppose it is time," the old man conceded. "One of the only good things that fool Even instilled in you was a love of science."

"Yes," he said pleasantly, though his heart was thumping hard.

"But before that. I'm not sure if you've read much of the news lately-Xemnas, remind me to start sending Zexion the papers every morning-but there has been a… response , to yesterday's press conference."

Ienzo wondered if he was imagining the slight tightness in Xemnas's jaw as being ordered about so. "A good one, I hope?"

"Well, for the most part. Though some of the… independents claim I'm brainwashing you."

Ienzo forced himself to smile. "Can't I simply issue a statement stating the opposite?"

"You could," the youngest son said boredly. "But they all have in their minds this image of an innocent child who doesn't know any better. They'd think you were told to do that."

"...Perhaps that is apt."

Young Xehanort smiled widely. "Don't you feel like we're taking a step in the right direction? We'll all be better off for it, I'm sure."

Ienzo swallowed. "...Quite."

"The best thing to do would be to get you in front of more people. So you can prove it's not all an act." His gold eyes glinted. "What is it you said- "we all have our parts to play"? Or something like that?"

He felt a stab of fear. "I'm sure you are right."

With lunch was another note, this time decoded with the primroses on the plate. Meet me in the library alcove 8:15. You know the one.

He assumed it was Braig sending these notes; who else would it be? Ienzo waited for the time to pass, pacing back and forth until his legs ached. He might get to see his daughter, his family again. His heart beat slickly and he was sweating so much in anticipation he had to reapply deodorant. He got dressed in the clothing he'd been given, and when it was about eight that evening, he slipped out the door without another word. He was so anxious he was dizzy. What if he were caught? All this work would've been for nothing. He shouldn't take this risk, he should just try to ride it out until his plan had been carried in full-

But if something happened to him, and he would've never gotten to say goodbye?

It hurt too much to miss them.

Ienzo darted almost silently through the hallways. At least he had his magic back in full use, could disguise himself if need be-but the hallways were cleared of their usual guard. He paused. Was this a trap? Or had this been laid out for him? He could no longer tell, and the hesitation sparked his anxiety further.

The library, too, was completely empty of people. Ienzo felt a though he couldn't process anything he was seeing anymore, so focused on that moment of reunion-

"...There you are."

The voice was not one he expected to hear. Ienzo stopped dead in his tracks. In the shadows, dressed similarly in black, was Xemnas. "This… I thought…" All he could think to stammer in this moment of vulnerability was "this isn't what it looks like." So much for brilliance.

Xemnas cocked his head. "You can let the mask fall, Ienzo. It's alright."

He felt he could not catch his breath. It had been a long while since his last panic attack, but it was immediately familiar.

Xemnas placed both of his hands on Ienzo's shoulders. "Take a breath, little one. It was I who left the notes for you."

"A trap, then."

He sighed. "No trap." He looked over his shoulders. "Come. We'll be late." He guided Ienzo towards the door.

"I don't-understand-"

"I can see why you'd have trouble," Xemnas said. "Why should you trust me at all when-"

"You're the one who put us in this situation in the first place."

He nodded sadly. "But thirteen years is a long time to think. To change." A pause. "You've seen how my father treats me. How he… doesn't even see me. He'd rather humor my brothers their crimes against humanity, their pets. Forgetting all the while… who gave this to them in the first place."

"So you're doing it out of bitterness?" Ienzo asked sourly.

"That was how it started." He let out a breath, his stoic expression cracking for just a moment. "They're all willfully in denial. But the repercussions of this will be many and far-reaching."

"The darkness?"

"Kingdom Hearts. Now come . We don't have time for chit-chat."

Ienzo followed. Xemnas took him deeper and deeper into the bowels of the castle, through dank musty passages which were doubtlessly no longer up to code; through the laundry, again oddly empty; down a dozen flights of stairs until finally there was just sky, and sea, and a narrow rocky staircase leading to an old service dock. A wooden rowboat bobbed slightly in the winter surf, and Ienzo shivered. A small hooded figure was waiting for them. "She'll take you where you need to go," Xemnas told Ienzo. "Change of guard is at midnight. You'd best be back by then."

"Like Cinderella," Ienzo muttered, and he heard a small, feminine laugh from the hooded figure. "Xemnas. We need to-"

"The time for talking is later. Go. "

Ienzo climbed into the small rowboat. It felt odd to entrust his fate to a child. "Could I help you row?" he asked.

"I like doing it," she said. "I hardly ever get out on the sea." She was powerful for her size; she didn't even sound breathless.

"What's your name?"

"Xion."

"Shion? Like the flower?"

She laughed a little. "With an X. Like "sh." Though I guess Lord Xemnas found it funny. He loves puns."

"...An X." Ienzo swallowed. "Xemnas gave you your alias?"

"Xemnas gave me my name ." Her next stroke seemed particularly violent. "It's, uh, a long story."

Ienzo looked at her again. Hard to tell exactly with the poor lighting and her hood, but she couldn't be older than fourteen. "I understand if you don't want to tell me."

"No, it's okay. He told me to start speaking out more, so." A sigh. "I was a failed experiment. He… saved me from… euthanasia."

"An… experiment?"

A pause. "First prototype in an attempt to… make Keyblades."

It took Ienzo a long moment to put the pieces together. "You're a-"

"Replica. Yep! Not human." A wry laugh.

If Ienzo saw Even, he could at least tell him that his research had created sentience. "But you seem so normal," Ienzo said, in an attempt to comfort the girl.

"I had too much… free will." She pulled the small boat up to a dock and grabbed a length of rope. Effortlessly, she hopped out and tied it to a pole. She offered Ienzo her small hand, and when he took it, he was surprised at the strength he felt when she heaved him up. "I'll wait for you here."

Ienzo strained to remember his coordinates. "You'll be alright, by yourself?"

"Heartless don't care much for me," she said, with a shrug. "I'll just hang out and enjoy the moon on the water. Just… don't be too late, okay? He was really nervous about doing this."

Ienzo took a breath. "I'll try."

Ienzo could barely take in the streets of Radiant Garden. His heart was beating so hard all he could hear was the fluid whooshing in his ears, and he was dizzy. Amalia. Amalia. Amalia.

He found himself in a maze of abandoned buildings, searching for the telltale signs of wards. After what felt like much too long, he was in front of an old apartment building. His hands shook as he opened them wide enough to get through.

The reaction was immediate. A large dog-no, a wolf -bounded down the stairs, teeth bared, snarling, only to see him.

For a long while he and Isa just stared at each other. "I can…" Ienzo's mouth was so dry. "I can explain everything. Please just let me see my daughter."

Isa approached him slowly. Ienzo did not know what to make of the wolf's body language. Why wasn't he transforming back into a human? He paced around Ienzo slowly, sniffing him. He must've passed snuff enough, because Isa just bounded back up the stairs.

Ienzo followed. His knees felt like jelly and he found himself glad he'd been unable to eat dinner, because otherwise he would've gotten sick. He couldn't recall ever feeling so nervous, though these were the most important people in his life. Why wouldn't they trust him?

The wolf waited by a door on the fourth floor. Tremblingly, Ienzo reached for the knob, only for it to open. "Even," he said numbly.

The man seemed not to know what to make of him; he'd gone very pale.

"Even. I promise I have a plan. I promise. It's not-I would never -"

For a long moment he just stared at him. Then, after much too long, he drew Ienzo into his arms, and Ienzo could not help but sag into the embrace, all of his months of fear and loneliness and acting hitting him at once. He'd never truly noticed how comforting another person's touch could be, their smell. He breathed in Even's detergent and shaving cream and tried not to outright sob.

Another voice, behind Even- "who is it?"

"Your son."

Ienzo was loath to let go, but he did at last. Ansem was standing there, looking just as stricken as Even had. "Father. Please. I'm not-I…"

But all Ansem did was reach past Even to embrace him as well. "I know," he said. "I never doubted you for a moment."

For just a second, Even's expression belied the opposite. "I'll tell you everything-I only have a few hours-I-" His head was spinning. "Where are they?"

"Demyx was trying to get the baby down. I'm sure he's still in there." Ienzo started towards the door, but Even stopped him. "Let me get them."

For a tremulous moment, it was just Ienzo, Ansem, and the wolf, who watched Ienzo warily with those wide gold eyes. "Ah-Isa's human form is waylaid during the full moon," Ansem said haltingly.

"...I see." He swallowed. "I had to… I had to act that way to earn his trust, father, I didn't want -"

"I know."

"Do you? Even looked like he'd-"

"Ien...zo?"

Ienzo felt his heart surge, tears prickling in his eyes. He didn't recognize Demyx, not immediately, though not necessarily due to the new hair and the glasses. His eyes were sadder, flatter, his posture more defeated. He'd lost weight; they all had. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so…"

He stumbled over his words for a moment. "I guess Xigbar… told you we were here."

"Actually… someone else helped me get out. Someone really unexpected." He took another small step forward; Demyx flinched. "I'll tell you, it's just that I need to-I need to see her."

"Right… um… our room is through here."

Ienzo didn't know what he'd expected-not the crying, emotionally charged kissing of movies, for sure-but not this strange distance between them. He followed Demyx through the small apartment to a bedroom at the back that faced the sea. A small lantern with warm light was still on.

"She likes seeing the water," Demyx said, leaning over a makeshift bassinet. Ienzo strained to see. He hefted her up, his back still to Ienzo. She snuffled indignantly. "I know, Li-li, but it's important."

She looked nothing like the squish-faced four-week old Ienzo had last seen. She blinked sleepily, her blue-green eyes slowly coming into focus. "She's so big," Ienzo whispered.

"Seven kilos. Even thinks she's going to be taller, like me."

"She's got your nose."

"Oh-you think?"

"Her hair is so long." The tears pricked again.

"Almost time for a cut, I think."

"Could I-" He reached out towards the baby-she pressed her face against Demyx's shoulder.

"I'm just not sure if she-"

"Please."

"-Remembers you, Ienzo. She was only a month old."

"But she… she has to." He was aware he was only a few hairs away from losing his composure, all of this becoming too much. "She…" He swallowed, feeling the lump. "Let me try."

After a long moment, Demyx finally brought her over to Ienzo; she began to struggle and cry. "It's alright, sweetie," Demyx said to her. "It's alright."

And Amalia slid into his arms. She was so much heavier than he remembered, and he nearly stumbled under the weight. She cried louder and thrashed against him, him, a stranger .

"It's okay," Demyx said over and over again. "It's your daddy, Li-li. He won't hurt you."

Ienzo tried to give her a kiss, but she squirmed in his grip, to the point where Demyx reached out in case she fell.

"Maybe I should-"

"No," Ienzo said. "No. She has to get to know me." He reached out with his magic, blinking away the tears, finding her field at last, and something seemed to click; she stopped trying to struggle out of his arms. Feeling her energy almost eased that awful hole he felt in his being.

The baby, if anything, cried louder, not out of fear as before, but anger . Betrayal.

"I know," Ienzo found himself repeating. "I know. I didn't want to leave you. I'm sorry." He tried to bounce her a little, but the hurt was felt deeply. He kissed her wet, hot little cheeks. "I'm sorry." He couldn't help but cry too.

Demyx reached forward to stroke her hair. This seemed to calm her somewhat, until finally she sagged weakly against Ienzo, her cries more like gasps. Ienzo sat down on the small, lumpy bed.

"I didn't want to," Ienzo whispered.

"I know." He sat in a small chair and rested his head against his hand. "So… are you, like…"

"I'm earning their trust so I can mine information to pass along to the resistance." He cleared his throat. "I'm hoping that… eventually, I can…"

"How long is eventually?"

"I don't know, Demyx. I'm making a lot of progress."

"Weeks? Months?"

He looked down at his baby.

"Because-I don't know. Showing up out of the blue is just going to confuse her."

"This has hurt me too, every day I'm not with her I swear I-"

"We've been running, Ienzo. We've been running for six months. And all of a sudden you show up on the news saying you're with him? "

"I need to earn his trust. It's the only way this whole gambit will work."

Demyx raised an eyebrow. Ienzo did not like how defensive he seemed.

"People are already rioting. International leaders are voicing their outrage," Ienzo said.

"Yeah, because you're making yourself look like a traitor."

"Because I am a poor, poor abuse victim on state media, saying what I'm told to say or else. " He held Amalia closer, breathing in that sweet scent of hers.

"And what will that accomplish?"

"...I'm going to turn the tide." He swallowed. "And stage a coup."