23.

Schemer

Everyone listened patiently as Ienzo outlined his plan. Time was running short already-between the trip over and the trip back, it was nearing eleven, and he'd have to leave soon. To say goodbye to his daughter again , who had only just fallen asleep after letting him feed her.

"It's… ambitious," Even said at last. "But if you believe Xemnas has had a change of heart… that could make it all the easier."

"It certainly helped clarify things for me. I'd just hoped… to function as a mole. But I'm wondering if it's actually possible."

"It happened once. It could happen again," Ansem said. "You must be careful, Ienzo."

"And I will. I just wish there were some easy way to get communications through to you."

Even exhaled. "There's the obvious," he said. He ducked into one of the bedrooms and came back with Ienzo's phone and its charger. "I've jailbroken it. Should be untraceable-so long as you place no calls. You could send me encrypted emails."

"You held onto it?"

He dropped his eyes. "I couldn't help but keep hope."

Another wave of emotion broke over him, and he had to choke it down. He stuffed the phone into his pocket. "It… pains me to say, but-"

"You must go?" Ansem said. "Of course. Can't have you turning into a pumpkin."

Ienzo pressed one last kiss against Amalia's brow. "Can I put her down myself? Please?"

Demyx just looked exhausted when he said, "sure. Go for it."

He carried her back into Demyx's room and set her in the bassinet. Her emotions must have exhausted her; she was dead asleep, soft baby snores. He rested her on her belly and tucked her stuffed bear in a little tighter. "I love you," he said. "I'll come back."

The other goodbyes were equally difficult, especially because Aeleus was out scouting. All of the embraces after so little contact threatened to overwhelm him.

"You can do this," Ansem said. "Try not to take too many risks."

"Be careful," Even whispered. Isa just nodded at him, all he was able to do to communicate. "Your daughter needs you."

Does she? Ienzo thought. "I shall certainly try."

Even touched Demyx's shoulder. "We'll keep an ear out for the baby. I'm sure you two would like a few minutes alone."

The three of them went into a sitting room and shut the door, leaving them in awkward silence. Demyx cleared his throat. "What, are they expecting us to speedbone?" he began lamely.

Ienzo could not even smile at the bad joke. "I can't even imagine how difficult this has been for you," he said softly. "Leaving behind everything you knew and loved-"

"I already knew," Demyx said, his eyes on the floor. "Watching it happen in real time, though, was a trip."

"You… knew?"

He just exhaled heavily. "The Forecast."

"Then why did you lie to me when I first asked you?"

"It was, what, the day after she was born? What was I supposed to say? Hey, by the way, don't get too attached, because you'll be gone?"

"What else did you learn?" Ienzo asked.

There was just a long silence. Demyx smiled a little-emptily-and reached forward to touch Ienzo's face.

"What did you learn?"

He kissed him.

"Demyx. You're scaring me."

He pressed his forehead against Ienzo. "It's going to be okay," he said softly. "It really is." He leaned down to kiss him again, slowly, and Ienzo could not help but respond, all of this emotion crushing him from the inside out. He reached forward to pull him close, feeling those fear-starved emotions come back out, so horribly needy . Suddenly he wanted to take him in this awful apartment, acutely aware this was not a good idea. Demyx broke away from the kiss to work at his jaw and throat. "Ienzo."

"Yes?" The clothing Demyx was wearing was different than Ienzo was used to, the textures rougher, more of a struggle to find skin.

"This is a bad idea."

"I'm painfully aware."

"But I… I don't mind if-"

"If I don't." He considered. Asking for willpower when he felt like his heart would rip open was unbearable. He needed to connect to Demyx again somehow. Would this help? Ienzo straddled him and reached down to rub at him through his pants, feeling an immediate response. A hot flush made his cheeks burn. Demyx's hand slid up his inner thigh between his legs, and that touch through fabric was almost too much. He tried to bring his hands up through Demyx's hair, but his body remembered the other style, and he got handfuls of stubble.

"You have Even to blame for that," he mumbled. "Though with the baby… it's easier."

Ienzo kissed his cheek, his draw, drinking in the taste of it, feeling weak. He just barely saw the clock. "If we're going to do this we have to do it now."

"Alright." He slid his hand down Ienzo's waistband, quickly finding his clit. Ienzo nearly moaned out loud and had to muffle the sound against Demyx's shoulder. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too."

"So much it hurt. "

"It does. It does." He struggled to unbutton Demyx's jeans but managed it at last, and eased his dick out, taking it into his hand. It was good to be able to cause him some pleasure, however small.

"How do you-" He continued stroking him almost mercilessly, slipping a finger into him. "How do you want to do this?"

Ienzo barely heard him, bucking against his hand. It had been so long since he'd felt anything resembling good . "What?"

"Do this? Or-"

"...Right. Help me with my pants."

Demyx did, and Ienzo almost fell, barely catching his weight. Maybe if they made love on this awful couch in this shambling apartment which was not good enough for their daughter and maybe if Ienzo hadn't just pretended to be a traitor they could imagine they weren't falling apart, that this was just normal-

Demyx eased into him. Ienzo was still a little dry, but if anything he liked the slight pinch of pain before it quickly faded. He bucked down against him, all of it so needed, just a fucking minute of not being in his head, of not planning, or pretending. Demyx grasped at his hips and thrusted harder. It was difficult to keep quiet, but he just pressed his face against his shoulder.

Awkward, uncomfortable sex with their family in the other room shouldn't have felt good, and probably wouldn't have if the circumstances were different. As it was, Demyx was just so barely gasping his name, working his clit with one hand crammed between their bodies, and Ienzo thought he might fall apart. Would it be so bad to just not be so painfully conscious for a moment? He ground against Demyx, feeling that familiar sweet tightening starting inside of him. Demyx clutched at his back. Ienzo could feel him shaking, a quiver in his dick that made him gasp.

"I'm really…" Demyx hissed under his breath.

Ienzo pulled him into a kiss, and for just a second everything was okay, and they were going to be fine , and he was totally not on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Then they both came.

For a moment he thought he might faint, the sudden absence of so much tension making him dizzy. They both struggled to catch their breath. "I'm… sorry," Demyx said to him. "I tried to pull out but I-"

"It's alright." He was not going to worry about that now, he decided, despite the moonlight beating into the window like a brand. "It's okay." Shakily, Ienzo got off of him and pulled his pants back on. He kissed Demyx once more.

"...I wish you didn't have to go."

"Me too." He wiped the sweat from his brow. "I'm going to fight for this. I just…" The emotion threatened like a cloudburst, brushing away what little good had come from the sex. "Don't let her forget me. Please."

Another kiss, longer this time. "I'll try."

Ienzo felt numb as he walked back to meet Xion. The moon was higher in the sky now, silver light hitting him coolly. He remembered what Even said about the moon affecting his fertility. Seven months postpartum, no breastfeeding to inhibit ovulation-

"There you are. I was getting worried."

He saw her sitting at the dock. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We should be able to get back in time if we hurry."

He climbed back down into the boat. His mind and heart were getting tugged in a million places- my baby's so big and she forgot me and Demyx looks so sad what isn't he telling me and really thought I betrayed them and what if I just got pregnant again , fucking idiot-

"You okay?"

Xion startled him. "Forgive me. I was far off."

"...That's alright." A pause, and for a moment all that was audible was the gentle slosh as she rowed. "What is it like, to have family?"

Ienzo considered. "It can be comforting," he said at last. "But it can also be complicated… and painful."

"Life is complicated and painful anyway," she said simply.

"I suppose that is apt."

A pause. "I guess that kind of makes Ansem my dad, 'cause he made me," she said. "Though Xemnas takes care of me… can someone have two dads?"

Ienzo laughed a little despite himself. "Two or more." He wondered if it were worth telling her about Even.

"...And I don't really like Ansem."

"On account of the whole… euthanasia situation?"

There was some bitterness in her voice when she said, "...yeah."

"If I'm honest… I don't really like him either."

She laughed a little.

Too soon, they were back at the castle. Ienzo looked up at it, resentful that his childhood home had been turned into a prison. "Where do you go?" Ienzo asked. "After all this, I mean?"

"I do guard work," she said. "In the upper floors." Then, "Maybe you'll visit me?"

Ienzo smiled despite himself. "If I can, I will," he said. "Thanks for this, Xion."

She flicked back her hood, and Ienzo couldn't help the shocked expression on his face. She looked just like Kairi. "Any time, Ienzo."

Ienzo tried to digest all this as he made his way through the labyrinthine corridors back to his rooms. He had a pounding headache. He was going to need some time to reflect; but he was exhausted from the long walk, from all the emotions. He was just closing the door behind him when he saw the Heartless guards glide into place. Numbly, he went into his bathroom, drew a hot bath. Thought about the wives' advice of lore, if maybe cleaning himself would help avert any unwanted developments inside of his body. He was loath to do it, but he was going to allow a period. Pray for one.

He wasn't averse to another baby. But now , of all the times?

There was so much to ponder that his mind was blank. He remained in the water until it began to grow cool, and when he finally climbed into the bed it felt so empty, and he had never felt so alone.

There were no breakfast notes today, and the china was the plain stuff he'd had originally. The emotion of yesterday had started to process, and he was feeling rather weepy, trying to repress the memory of Amalia struggling out of his arms. Of how tired and sad all of his family looked, of the awful place they were staying-while he was living in comparative luxury.

No more.

Enough faffing about. Time to actually do what he'd been planning to do. With what he'd learned about Xemnas yesterday, he might suddenly have a huge advantage. He just needed to know more about the man. Ienzo made his way to his quarters.

Xemnas did not live in any of the royal apartments, as the others did; he lived in the same rooms he'd had when he was Ansem's apprentice. Ienzo wondered if this was a deliberate choice, or if it reflected Xehanort's favor. Either way, thin, wispy memories assaulted Ienzo as he made his was into the space where his loved ones once lived; Even's apartment, all of the soft green furniture covered in sheets; the sitting room where he and Aeleus used to do puzzles together; the kitchen where he and Braig attempted to "bake." Ienzo used to want to be an apprentice with a desire that was painful.

The door to Xemnas's apartment was the last on the left. He knocked, twice. "You can just leave the tray outside," he heard.

"Xemnas? It's me. ...Zexion." He flinched at the taste of the name.

A moment later, the door opened.

Xemnas's quarters could best be described as an upscale student apartment. The square footage of the space was low; a kitchenette was shoehorned into one corner near a small bathroom which still smelled like shampoo from a recent shower. The furniture was all plain, the cover on the bed a solid color without any embellishments. The only luxury in the room seemed to be books, which were piled to bursting on the built-in bookshelf. "Good day," the man said smoothly.

"Have you a few moments? Or were you-busy?" There were a few open texts on a shallow coffee table.

"Nothing that can't be interrupted. A status report for my father. Come in." He shut the door behind Ienzo.

"I can't help but wonder-" He began. "Did you choose to live here? Or had all the nice rooms already been allocated?"

Xemnas chuckled a little. "Unlike them, I have no need for such frippery. Coffee?"

Not a direct answer, Ienzo thought. "Quite. I had a long night."

He lit a stove burner and set up an old-fashioned percolator. "Coffee is my one indulgence," he said. "Things went… smoothly, I hope?"

"Have we any eavesdroppers?" he asked in a low voice.

"I'm sure your paranoia is justified after what you've been through-but no."

Ienzo exhaled. Xemnas gestured for him to sit on the small sofa, so he did. "Yes, it went smoothly, insofar that I wasn't caught. I have… questions."

"I'm sure you do."

"What do you want, Xemnas? With me? With… all of this? Is your defection genuine?"

Xemnas took out a sugar bowl and a pitcher of cream. "The cream may have soured-I'm afraid I can't tell." A sigh. He turned and leaned against the counter. "My father and brothers are content to live in their little delusions," he said. "Delusions of power, grandeur. They know full well the human impact of what they've done, the ecological impact. They simply don't care-they say that knowledge like this is larger than a few lives."

A few? Ienzo thought. "The greater good?" he asked, sourly.

"...Quite." Xehanort poured out two cups of black coffee and brought the tray over. "I simply… can't understand. If my years under your father taught me anything, it's that I have a moral duty to use my knowledge to help people."

"Then why sell us out?" Ienzo asked, before he could stop himself. "None of this would've happened if-"

"You think I'm not aware of that?" Xemnas seemed to take a moment to compose himself; he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "For so long I tried to convince myself that the guilt I felt was worthless… but it was telling me something. Ienzo, when I became wrapped up in that plot I was seventeen, and vain, and convinced that your father was holding me back from what I could achieve. I was a child. It's not an excuse, but children… are easy to manipulate. Being raised the way I was… I was convinced that darkness was the only way. But seeing what my brother has "accomplished", and what it's wrought… now I know that is not the case."

Ienzo could feel Xemnas was telling the truth.

"Darkness… slaughter of the magic users that could stop it in the name of "equality"... all it does it seal our fate."

"Is it too late?"

"I sincerely hope not." He crossed his legs, tapping his fingers against the rim of the cup. "I don't expect you to forgive me, Ienzo. I've made your childhood something of a hell. I just hope that by… helping you, I can begin to atone for my many mistakes." He looked Ienzo dead in the eye. "What is it you hope to achieve?"

Ienzo's heart began to beat unevenly. "First you must give me reason to trust you."

He thought he saw something like desperation flicker in Xemnas's eye. "I could've told my father about your child, and where the rest of your family were. I could've had you waylaid by guards that night and exposed your true intentions. There are many things I could've done to cause you harm, and yet, I haven't."

Ienzo blinked. He took a sip of the coffee-so strong it just made his heart beat harder-and looked him dead in the eye. "Simply put, I would like to stage a coup," he said. "With the momentum gained from that press conference, and the amount of trust they have in me, I want to unseat him and reclaim the throne in the name of my family. I have no desire to rule, true, but I also have no desire for unnecessary suffering."

A sparkle in those gold eyes. "How do you plan on doing that?"

"That's where things become… hazy," Ienzo admitted. "I have no idea of his true reach. Something so violent as assassination would achieve… nothing. But people are rising up after seeing me. That outrage… may be useful."

"Engage the proletariat?" Xemnas asked dryly.

"It's worked before. The more disheveled, the more unwell my appearance is , the more… pointed, my messages are, the more panic that could arouse. What's more…" He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "I had hoped to access the main OS to give the resistance intelligence. Perhaps a leak could be organized. If people knew what Xehanort was doing to the earth, maybe the neutral will be spurned to action."

A smile. "Perhaps it could. Moreover… should we… provide a united front, of sorts, that could give me leverage over my father. But is panic as powerful as you say it is?"

"It is… and more. Why do you think that the city-states folded as easily as they did?"

"But will that truly cause them to be angry enough to fight back? We have to… give them motivation." He swallowed, and hesitated. "If we showed them the child-"

"My daughter will not be used as a political pawn."

"We have to remind them what's at risk. Not just your child, Ienzo. Everyone's. Something for you to consider, anyway."

"Isn't there another way?" Hadn't he sacrificed enough? Just the thought of asking Demyx for such a thing, when they'd all worked so hard to keep her safe-

But given her seeker charm… it would be a magnificent move-

Ienzo hated himself for even considering it. But Xehanort trusted him this much. Would bringing Amalia here really cause her any harm? (More likely, she'd just turn into leverage he could use against Ienzo.)

"I can see this is causing you a great deal of internal struggle," Xemnas said softly. "We need the public on our side, Ienzo."

He was right. It made Ienzo feel sick.

Xemnas took their empty cups over to the sink. "Think on it," he said. "This obviously isn't a thing we should rush. In the meantime, I'll see if I can arrange for us to go to that computer. Rather-I'll go, and-"

"I'll follow you invisibly."

"However you think is smartest to do it."

"...Right." The coffee had just made him more anxious. "Though I do have… a question."

"Of course."

"That replica-the girl-Xion. She… looks like a friend of mine. Why is that?"

Xemnas cocked his head. "A… friend?" He thought. "The replicas-if they're to have any appearance at all-have to be either modeled off of the person taking over the body, or of memories. Otherwise, they have no gender, no face… like mannequins. It's… disquieting." He sighed. "But even before that she had sentience, a… heart. She asked if I had any photos of girls she could base her looks on. One of the caretakers mentioned a granddaughter, and when I asked, she didn't seem to mind."

Ienzo put the pieces together. "Lydia… Lydia's Kairi's grandmother…" Kairi had mentioned she'd lived in Radiant Garden for a time-

"...Hence her willingness to help me with this, yes. Despite its supposed rarity… everyone seems to have some tie to magic, however small. Indeed, I wonder if its rarity was more propaganda."

His head was spinning. "You may be right, Xemnas."

In a haze, Ienzo went back to his rooms. He dug out his phone from its hiding spot in the bathroom. There was one message from a number he didn't initially recognize until he saw the photo attached.

I swear she looks just like you when she sleeps.

Amalia, cradled against Demyx's chest, mouth slightly open. Ienzo's eyes watered. Not necessarily. I don't drool.

You don't THINK you drool.

Ienzo laughed. He felt another stab of longing for both of them, more potent than the last, and sat on the lip of the tub. If he had to cry, he had to get it over with now, lest someone come look for him. He opened the phone's gallery and flicked through the photos, fully expecting to see the last ones he'd taken before he'd been kidnapped.

Demyx, it seemed, had been busy, dumping photos from his own phone into Ienzo's library. Amalia in a bath, shrieking with delight. Amalia's scales, thicker and more colorful than they were as a newborn. Amalia in everyone's arms-Even, Aeleus, Ansem, even Isa? Tummy time. Playing in the park. Asleep, awake, alive . Her hair had a little bit of curl to it-where had that come from? It had to be Demyx.

The tears started to run in earnest now. He held the phone to his chest. He'd never been so weepy before becoming a parent, and it wasn't as if he could blame the hormones anymore. Cry it out. Cry it out. All the more reason to get back to work; the sooner this was all over, the sooner he could have his daughter back in his arms, the sooner he could get her to forget he'd ever been gone.

He didn't feel much when he was through, which was probably for the best. He held a cold cloth over his stinging eyes.

It was time to begin.