Chapter 43: About the Horror of "Frilly Pink with Unicorns"!

"So where is he?" James asked.

"He managed to land in Lucifer's cage. Don't ask me how he got in there but he drained his magic by teleporting there and needs to recuperate before he can attempt to teleport out again," Loki explained.

"Wait...WHAT? You want to tell me that my son landed in Lucifer's cage? As in Lucifer, the devil? Satan? The ultimate evil?" Lily spoke up, her voice showing her fear and panic.

However, nearly everyone bar Hermione, who had an inkling where the woman came from with her exclamation, looked at her as if she lost it.

"There are a lot of things I would call Lucifer, but evil is not one of them," Loki finally told her a bit confused.

"Lily, Loki is right. Lucifer is an archangel banned from heaven and undeniably dark but why do you think that he's evil?" Sirius asked equally confused as Loki but also a bit curious.

"But the Bible...?" Lily asked dumbfounded that no one thought like her.

That was what made Loki laugh. "That trash piece of a drunkard?" he brought out between bouts of laughter. "You could call that shit fiction at best and utter nonsense at worst. Yes, Lucifer is an archangel, and yes, he was banned from heaven not to mention that he created the demons, but his banishment was because of a quarrel with Michael that got out of hand. So, what makes you think that he's evil?"

Lily opened and closed her mouth not knowing what to say to that. All she thought she knew about Lucifer, all she learned during her religion lessons at school before she left to Hogwarts…what she knew, didn't paint the fallen angel in a good light. But now Loki said that everything that she thought she knew was false? It came as quite a shock, to say the least.

"Won't Harry be in danger when with him and as you said, he'll have to wait for some time before he can try to get out again," she finally said.

"Well, according to Crowley, who was the one who saw Harry in the cage when he went to talk to Lucifer, Lucifer isn't exactly happy to have an addition with him but he leaves Harry alone, they are basically ignoring each other," Loki said with a shrug. "He's safe, and that is what counts for me. The best is that Zachariah won't be able to get to him either."

"But can you be sure that it stays that way?" James spoke up.

Loki sighed deeply. "I doubt that something will change any time soon but I talked with Crowley, we agreed that it would be best if he regularly checks on them."

James began to pace. "I can only hope that nothing will happen. What if Harry cannot get out again on his own?" He asked with an anxious look.

"Well...," Loki began. "I honestly don't know. No one can get into the cage as long as it is sealed. We would have to wait until all needed seals are broken before I could get in there to get him out."

"So, if Harry cannot get out on his own he would be stuck in there for Merlin knows how long? What about the difference in the speed of time? What if we need weeks or months to break all seals? How long will that be for my baby?" Lily now was really freaking out.

"It would be years for him, and I honestly don't know what I would do then. But what do you expect me to do? As I said no one can get in there, this has never happened before! Lucifer's cage is bloody impenetrable!"

Loki heavily sat down on the sill of the shop window behind him. Everyone could see how worried he was again after having realised just what that little trip could mean for Harry. Loki didn't want to imagine what might happen, should Harry not be able to get back, it could be as he said years for Harry before he might be able to get out again.

Madame Bones, who until now stayed in the background, stepped forward and looked at each of the assembled people.

"You said, that this Crowley told you that Harry would be back soon so I'd suggest you calm down and only start to worry if Harry doesn't manage to show up within that time frame. As I see it there is nothing we can do anyway for now and panicking doesn't help us solve it," she explained. "You have done everything in your power, and everything else is out of your influence."

"But...," Loki began letting his head fall into his hands. "I...Zachariah...now that...hadn't I met Harry...hadn't I dragged him into this mess..."

Now Bones looked at him in surprise before she crouched down before the pagan god to be able to see his face. She gently pried Loki's hands from his face so that he was forced to look at her.

"When you showed up in my office for the first time all those months ago I thought that you came here to produce chaos before you would leave again and I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to see you back rather sooner than later. Then I asked around a bit and learned what you not only did for Harry but also for others, and I knew you weren't half as bad as you were painted. Sure, chaos follows you wherever you go, but you care. I can see that you care about Harry a lot, Merlin a blind man would be able to tell, so excuse me for my language but what you just said is complete shit," she sternly told him.

"I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that I wholly agree with Ms Bones. Yes, Harry might not be stuck with Lucifer if he never met you and yes maybe he would have had a safer life but have you ever considered what he would not have?" James asked him. "Lily and I would still be dead, Sirius in Prison, Neville's parents in a magical coma, Severus, Sam and Dean I don't even want to begin with, and then there is you. Yes, we could continue musing about how everything might have played out without your meddling, but that doesn't help us any with the current problem."

"James's right!" Sirius added. "I'd say we should get ourselves together, hope for the best but prepare for the worst."

Loki tentatively began to smile. "Thank you, thank you all and Sirius is right, we should pray that Harry manages to get out by himself but prepare to break the remaining seals as quickly as possible."

"That is the spirit," Madame Bones said with a smile of her own while standing up. "And should you need help, the DMLE will gladly assist you, and I think I even might be able to rope the Unspeakables in, in the worst case."

"Lucifer, I need to talk to you because I have valuable in...," a voice from outside the cage said but stopped once she reached the barred window, and the speaker was able to look into the cage.

"Eh, what the hell?" Came the not very eloquent addition when said person, who turned out to be Crowley, saw Harry and a girl roughly the same age who had to be Lucifer – who else would be in the cage…well beside Harry – sitting in front of a laptop and staring at the monitor. They both were apparently watching a movie if the sounds were anything to go by.

Crowley couldn't decide what was stranger about that picture, that Harry obviously somehow managed to get into the cage or that he was currently sitting together with Lucifer in front of a laptop watching a movie.

Harry, on the other hand, growled lowly when they were interrupted but swiftly paused the video to turn towards the demon.

"I'll handle this," he said to Lucifer in a low voice, he certainly did not want Lucifer to learn certain things and therefore ruin his prank. "Crowley, what do you want?"

"I came to talk to Lucifer but what in the name of the seven circles of hell are you doing here?" Crowley asked shocked and confused.

"Talk about what?" Harry inquired, coming to stand in front of the barred window and directly facing Crowley.

"You actually. I talked with M...," he began but quickly was interrupted by Harry.

"Why would Dumbledore send you to Lucifer to talk about me?" Harry asked with a pointed look.

Crowley rose an eyebrow but didn't question Harry on his odd behaviour. "For us, it seemed to be the better option that I told Lucifer something about you that if he learns half-truth from other sources. However, that now seems to be a moot point."

"Indeed, I already told Lucifer everything," Harry said with a low snicker.

"What have you planned?" Crowley demanded to know, he knew that smirk on Harry's face, and it didn't bear anything good for everyone involved.

"Oh, you know...the usual, pranking people, annoying angels, poking sleeping dragons. You can actually help if you want to," Harry retorted after a moment. "You can tell Loki where I landed and that Lucifer is annoyed by it but wouldn't harm me, only that we ignore each other. Besides that don't you dare telling anyone anything, not Dumbledore, not Loki and not Lucifer, did I make myself clear?"

Crowley looked at him for a very long moment surprise and suspicion flickering over his face.

"What do I get out of that?" He finally asked.

"I don't know? Not getting pranked by me?" Harry replied with a devious smirk.

"Why should I be threatened by you? As if you can do anything noteworthy," Crowley said annoyed, pranks were like flies…they annoy you but besides that they are harmless.

"The MACUSA would disagree. You know your contracts really need a makeover, wouldn't you agree? I thought something like a frilly pink with little unicorns or little butterflies dancing over flower meadows," Harry mused while Crowley suddenly looked horrified.

"You wouldn't even get to them," he said with determination.

"Really? I got in here, didn't I? Anyway, you'd also be able to get one over Loki so what is it now?"

"Point taken," Crowley conceded. "Okay, I'll play along, but if you're the reason that the apocalypse comes over us, I'll hold you personally responsible for it."

"Ah, I highly doubt that and remember, not a word to anyone."

Crowley huffed. "Was that all?"

He wanted to go back to his study and possibly have a drink...or three…perhaps even ten and it was nowhere near noon yet, it seemed that Harry was becoming even worse a headache than Loki. Not only did he learn the tricks of the trade from said pagan god but he also seemed to be able to get anywhere and everywhere he pleased though he had no idea how the boy did it.

The only entities that were able to bypass everything were God, Fate, Destiny and Death and he had no idea how Harry fit in there. So yes, he was very much inclined to not antagonise the boy too much because if his information were correct he had plunged MACUSA into a state of chaos that would take weeks to sort through and he didn't want to imagine what Harry would be able to do if he got to the demon-contracts. Now, that was a truly horrifying thought.

"Yes, actually for interrupting us in the middle of the battle for Helm's Deep you could bring us a video projector, you know one that is enchanted to not need any power source!? Oh, and some popcorn, popcorn would also be nice," Harry now smiled broadly.

Crowley chuckled while shaking his head. "Movie nights with Lucifer? Very well, you'll get what you want but don't you need some real food?"

"No, I have enough food in the bag I always carry with me to last me at least a week, so no worry there."

"Okay, but for hell's sake, please keep him away from things like South Park."

"Do I want to know how you know about that?"

"Now I'm intrigued, what is South Park?" Lucifer suddenly asked from behind Harry, she had wondered what took Harry so long hence why she came over to look whether everything was alright.

"A comic series I'm definitely not going to show you," Harry instantly replied while Crowley looked horrified.

Lucifer rose an eyebrow but didn't say anything further to that. "So Crowley, what did you want?" She instead questioned the demon.

"Nothing important and it seems the matter has resolved itself. I'm off then to get you the projector, and you two behave...I don't want to come back and find one of you dead or doing...worse," Crowley admonished them.

"What should we do?" Harry asked confused.

"Harry, you're thirteen if not officially but don't think that I don't know what boys your age get up to," he chuckled.

It seemed that Harry didn't get the hint at first, but soon his face lit up.

"Oh...OH...no I think Lucifer is safe from me in that regard," he retorted, his face a bright red. "Now stop it!"

That made Crowley laugh. "Your face right now was very well worth it."

"Get me that projector before I decide that pranking you is also very well worth it," Harry growled in return.

"Okay, okay, I'm off!"

With that Crowley left the two to their movie. It took him about two hours to return with the projector and enough popcorn to last them a few days including the needed tools to make it. All in all, it made Harry extremely happy and less inclined to tamper with the contracts to the relief of the demon.

Harry and Lucifer, on the other hand, used the time they had to watch movies and talk about books and other things they were interested in. So, it was no wonder that Harry told her that he was quite good at healing magic, which surprised Lucifer. Lucifer promptly took it upon herself to teach Harry a spell or two, and if that delayed Harry's time until he recovered enough for an attempt to leave, neither of them complained.

Lucifer had to admit, that she liked Harry's company and she wasn't sure whether she preferred if Harry would successfully leave or not. She didn't want to lose the first tentative friendship she developed for a long time now. On the other hand, she knew that Harry's friends would be worried and she didn't want to imagine what would happen if Harry wasn't able to get out. Then there was also the point, that the seals were breaking and her freedom in reach, not to mention that Harry had invited her to join him in Hogwarts. That actually made the thought of him leaving her in the cage much more bearable.

What she wasn't prepared for though was Harry's question when he finally recuperated enough to attempt to leave.

"Can't I take you with me?" He asked while getting ready to leave – he had spread his things all over the place over the week he now stayed with Lucifer.

"Unfortunately not. It took everything out of you for you alone to get in here and getting out won't be any better. Now imagine having to drag someone with you, you'd probably kill yourself with only trying. That isn't even putting into consideration that the cage was designed for me especially," Lucifer said with a sad expression before she smiled slightly. "But thank you for the offer, and I doubt that I'll be in here for much longer. I've survived until now, I'll survive until the seals are broken."

Harry smiled wistfully at her but nodded, Lucifer had a point, while he walked over to the laptop to put it in his bag when his face lit up.

"I have an idea," he told her with a broad grin. "Though I don't know whether it will work with the time speed difference."

"What have you thought of?" Lucifer asked curiously.

"You know there are chat programs that connect different computers and therefore people with each other. I don't know whether a video call would work, but we could at least write with each other. The only thing I'd have to do is leaving the laptop with you, but once I have a new one I'll add you to my friend list, and we can chat. Not to mention that you can view a few more movies if you want to or browse the internet for other things," Harry explained to her.

"You're right, that is ingenious actually. I have to admit that humanity has developed a few very fascinating things while I was locked away and I can't wait to see what else they came up with," Lucifer mused.

Harry chuckled lowly, who would have thought that Lucifer would begin to like humanity only because he accidentally landed in his cage.

"Yep, we're not all just crap," Harry grinned broadly.

"No, you aren't," she conceded with a smile

"Well, wish me good luck, and I hope to see you again when you're out."

"Good luck and write me, or I might come after you once I'm out," Lucifer replied mock threateningly.

Harry nodded and with a last smile at the archangel turned girl he prepared for the act he would have to play once faced with his friends again, took a deep breath and teleported away, leaving a sad Lucifer behind who instantly turned towards the laptop to distract herself. She never thought that she would feel lonely in the cage until she met Harry Potter.

Not much longer!

When Harry opened his eyes again – he had no idea when he closed them, to begin with – he saw that he was standing in the middle of Diagon Alley precisely at the same spot he left a week ago. Okay, it was a week for him but probably only an hour or so for everyone else, but that was mere semantics.

Harry just wanted to turn around to see where everyone went off to when suddenly a body slammed into him from behind and embraced him in a bone-crushing hug.

"Harry, we were so worried," said person muttered into his back, identifying herself as Hermione.

Harry tried to turn around in her embrace to be able to look at her but quickly gave up because she didn't budge one inch.

"Hermione, nothing happened. I'm alright, and now I'm back," he told her in a soothing tone and, did he hear her sobbing? At least he didn't faint as he had when he arrived in the cage even if he felt drained.

"Nothing happened? NOTHING HAPPENED?!" Hermione began to shout. "You ended up in Lucifer's cage, this is notnothing! Heaven knows what could have happened to you there."

Right at that moment, two other arms looped around him. "Hermione's right, that was incredibly stupid of you. What were you thinking?" Loki asked worriedly but much calmer than Hermione.

One after another the others also came into view, and Harry could see how worried they all were, his mother even had tears flowing down her cheeks.

"As if I intended to end up there," he huffed. "I hadn't even aimed for Hell. Don't ask me how or why I landed there and it wasn't as if I had much choice."

"We're just glad that you managed to get out again, we already planned for you not getting out again," Sirius spoke up with a small smile.

"Never give us such a heart attack again, okay kiddo?" Loki added.

"I try not to, that is all I can promise," Harry replied.

James snickered lowly. "With how you attract trouble it is probably all we can ask for. Now, I think we're still missing the books, and I think Hermione will be less inclined to kill you for your stunt if you get her something nice to read."

Harry laughed. "That is a fair price I think," he said before he winced. "I need a new laptop. Lo, is there any chance that we can throw in a quick trip to America before school starts?"

Loki though looked confused. "What happened to the one I got you?"

"Those thrice damned wards on the cage fried it..."

The pagan god rose an eyebrow but nodded in the end. "We still have a week before school starts back up so enough time to get you a new one and maybe the others want to accompany us?" He asked towards Hermione, Neville and the twins, knowing very well that Sam surely would come with them if only to get a few new books on obscure magic.

"I'd have to ask my parents but besides that…why not," Hermione answered, still clinging to Harry's arm as if he'd vanish any second.

"My parents probably won't say no to anything you'd suggest," Neville joked.

"You should ask them nonetheless," Loki scolded him.

"Of course," Neville replied in a manner that clearly asked the pagan whether he thought him stupid.

"With that settled, let's get some books," Hermione exclaimed excitedly, finally letting go of Harry.

"At least that idiot Lockhart his gone," Loki muttered but followed the girl.

Together they walked into Flourish & Blotts to get the last items on their list, which included the entire stack of books from a certain blond ponce.

A/N: 'til next chapter!