Flu

Chapter 97

"Aren't you usually in church around now?" Esposito asks as Ryan takes over the stakeout on Sunday morning. "What are you saving up for, Bro?"

"I want to get something special for Jenny," Ryan confides.

Esposito stares at his partner. "How special? You've been walking around with your head in the clouds for weeks. You gonna do something stupid?"

"More like the smartest thing I've ever done in my life if I can afford it. I can put it on a card, but you know carrying too much debt gets I.A. on your ass."

"Sounds to me like it's not I.A. you have to worry about. You going to propose?"

"Yeah, I am."

Esposito slaps his partner on the back. "Damn! Then after your shift, I better take you out for a beer while you're still a free man."

"Thanks, Bro."

After putting in his code at the front door, Julio Becerra shambles to his box. He pulls out a stack of junk mail, barely looking at it before tossing it into a recycling bin. He swipes moisture from his eyes as he stares at the envelope he still holds. He's still staring at it when Ryan strides from behind the counter, holding up his badge. "N.Y.P.D., Mr. Becerra. We need to talk to you." Swallowing hard, Julio just nods.

Sitting at the table in interrogation with his head bowed, Julio barely looks up as Kate and Rick enter the room. "Detective Ryan tells me that you speak English, Mr. Becerra, but I can get you an interpreter if you'd like," Kate informs the quiet figure.

"I speak English," Becerra confirms, with an accent.

"I'll repeat what he told you. We're not immigration, and we don't care about documentation," Kate continues. "I'm going to ask you questions about something that happened a long time ago, in 1995. A little girl died."

Julio presses his face into his hands. "My Estelle."

"Your daughter?" Rick inquires, his voice low, almost in a whisper.

"Si, yes, my daughter. She was beautiful, like princess, but that boy!" Julio's head drops to the surface of the table as his shoulders buck with suppressed sobs.

Kate changes seats to sit next to the distraught father. "Julio, I'm so sorry for your loss. Take as much time as you need, but you have to tell us what happened to Estelle."

Becerra's head gradually lifts, and he presses the heels of his hands to his eyes. "Mr. Hillerman hire me to take care of everything outside the big house where the Cosgroves live."

"What they call Libation Hill, now?" Castle asks.

"Si, yes. I see pictures in the paper sometimes. Estelle call big house a palace, and she think fairy godmother come to shed to turn mice to horses. Mr. and Mrs. Cosgrove like king and queen and Terence, their son, like prince."

"According to Mr. Hillerman, Terrence was away at school," Rick recalls

"Si, that is true," Becerra confirms. "But he come home sometimes to get things he hide in the shed. Mr. Hillerman not know."

"What did Terrence hide?" Kate presses.

Julio shakes his head. "I don't know. Plastic bags in cans. I never touch."

Kate and Rick lock gazes as Rick mouths, "Drugs."

Kate can feel her shoulders tense. "Was Terence home the day Estelle – passed?"

Julio's voice trembles. "Si. He come to the shed. We always keep it locked, but he have key. There was poison in there to kill animals from the woods. The Cosgroves had dogs, and Mr. Hillerman was afraid they'd get in by mistake. The door of the house Mr. Hillerman tell us to live in was loose. I work on fixing it, and Estelle play outside. But I didn't watch her enough. She like to hide and watch Terence Cosgrove, like princess in a story. I don't know what happened. Estelle get through the fence and followed Terence into the shed. He not see her and locked the door when he go. She still inside. When I see she gone, I look for her. When I find her…"

The color drains from Rick's face. "She was dead."

"Si. Terence come in shed after me. He see Estelle. He tell me the police come and arrest me and throw out of country. So I take my princess to most beautiful place I know, for the angels to bring to heaven. Terence help me get her there and move my things. I give him my note for Mr. Hillerman, saying I leave. Terence tell me he help me with money, but I can't tell anyone what happened. He say if I do, we both be in trouble."

"Where is Terence Cosgrove now?" Kate asks.

"I don't know. I not see him since Estelle go to God. I give money Terence send me to the church to pray for her. I go to jail?"

"Not if what you've told us is the truth, Mr. Becerra," Kate assures him.

"You've suffered more loss than any father should," Rick adds.

Terence Cosgrove's feeling when he sees a badge through his peephole is of immense relief. So long ago, he'd been terrified that the police, and worse, his parents, would find out that he'd been using and selling marijuana. It hardly seems to matter now. As a rich kid, not much would have happened to him if the police had arrested him. The statute of limitations on drugs ran out long ago, but his guilt has weighed more heavily on him with each passing year. He would never have willingly hurt that little girl. Her death was an accident. But it happened because of him. And her father never got the chance to properly grieve for her. Terrence faithfully sent money, but he's found there are some wounds that money can't heal. Sometimes they need to be exposed to the light and the air. That's about to happen. He opens the door.

Déjà vu strikes as Kate finds Rick aimlessly stirring a mug of coffee in the breakroom. "I thought you'd get some satisfaction out of knowing what happened to Estelle Becerra."

"Not satisfaction. If anything, increased trepidation, Julio wasn't an irresponsible father, Kate. He loved that little girl with all his heart and was trying to do his best for her. And Terence was no bad guy either, just a careless teenager doing a stupid thing. We try our best, do our best, and things still spin out of control.

"We hunt for murderers, serial killers, the scum of the earth," Rick goes on, "but they're the rarities. Anyone can make the tiniest slip or no slip, and the roof will still fall in. While I worry about what will happen to the baby if someone shoots you, you both could be done in by a driver on a cellphone or a tree branch felled by an ice storm. And we still have to watch you for leftovers from the flu. No one is ever safe."

Kate wraps her arms around her husband. "Babe, that's all true. But most of us make it through just fine and never stop being hopeful. Look at our plans for Holly and Mark's wedding. Life goes on, and most of it can be good."

Lifting Kate from the floor, Rick brings his lips to hers. "As long as I'm with you, most of it can be great."