Evening My Lovelies

This chapter took a more argumentative turn than I had initially intended but I have to admit I do like how it turned out. Fingers crossed you all do as well :D

Notes On Reviews:

Debbie (Guest): Thanks for the review - I did toy with Talbot just ending Rochey then and there but then I had an idea so I need him to survive (for now). I figured that as he's only directly suffered when Rochey targetted Glenn he would be a tiny bit more merciful than the other muskys. Enjoy the new chapter! x

pallysd'Artagnan: Thanks for the review - We get to see part of Athos's reaction to the news today, I'm really looking forward to hearing what you think of it :D Hmmm you'll have to wait and see what I have planned where Rochey's concerned. Enjoy the new chapter! x

beeblegirl: Thanks for the review - Oh Athos is just full of the guilt right now :D I'm kinda loving it, I have to admit :D Enjoy the new chapter! x

As always much love and many thanks following/favouriting/reviewing/reading

Love you all!

Enjoy!

xxx

Chapter Thirty-One: Guilt & Shame

"A-A-Alive?" breathed Athos, the word filled with so much disbelief and desperate hope it hurt Porthos's heart. "He's alive?"

Nodding Porthos was quick to reassure his brother that their youngest did indeed live, "He's with 'Mis right now."

Athos wasn't sure if he wanted to sink to the ground in relief, jump for joy or crumple under the guilt and shame quickly flooding his system. Instead, his body remained stock still as his eyes hardened the need for answers quickly overpowering all other desires or instincts, save the one that was screaming at him to rush back to his brother's side and confirm his condition with his own eyes.

"How?" demanded the swordsman as he struggled to comprehend the revelation. "I saw the body, it was burned beyond saving…"

Despite his brother's harsh tone of voice Porthos felt his expression soften at the pain he saw in the man's eyes, moving his hands from his shoulder to Athos's own, squeezing the digits tightly once before releasing one of his hands to pull something from his jacket pocket.

"I noticed it on the body after you left," explained Porthos as he watched confusion flood Athos's face as the swordsman inspected the ring now in his hand. "Knew the kid didn't own anything like that so I went searching for a grave with the same initials."

As Porthos continued his explanation of how he had located and rescued their youngest Athos couldn't help but feel himself slowly crumple under the guilt quickly flooding his system.

Seeing the tortured look on his brother's face Porthos couldn't help but look concerned as he stepped closer to the man, neither man particularly caring about the close quarters they now found themselves in, having become well used to it in the years they had fought together.

"Athos?" called Porthos gently, squeezing the hand he was still holding as he watched his brother struggle to find the words to explain his current expression.

When Athos did speak his voice was so quiet and broken Porthos was sure he wouldn't have heard it had they not been standing so close to each other. "I left him."

Feeling his heart break at those three words Porthos went to tighten his hold on the swordsman only for him to pull his hands away, although not before Porthos noticed the slight tremble of the digits. "Athos…"

Shaking his head as he tried to ignore the concern he could hear in his brother's voice Athos began to pace, the guilt and shame now reaching near overwhelming levels.

"All for one and one for all," he spoke softly as he continued to pace, feeling his brother's concerned gaze on his back as he walked. "We've never given up on each other before but I gave up on him… I abandoned him when he needed me most."

Realizing the dark mental path his brother was going down Porthos was quick to jump in front of him and grab him by the shoulders, ignoring the way his own injury flashed with pain at the move. "NO!" he protested, shaking his head at the grief-stricken man. "You had no reason to believe he lived. That is not the same as abandoning him!"

"You didn't give up the search for him!" roared Athos, oblivious to the tears beginning to gather in the corners of his eyes.

Despite knowing that it would be better to keep his calm in this situation Porthos felt his own anger rising… Not at Athos, he in no way blamed his brother for how he reacted and knew their pup wouldn't blame him either… No, his anger was directed at Rochefort and those he was working with who orchestrated the whole thing.

"Only because I was too stunned to move when you did!" he retorted, tightening his hold on the swordsman when he tried to move from the larger musketeer's grasp. "Athos," he pleaded, "You would have seen the ring had you not jumped to avenge our brother, you did not abandon him."

"I was not there when he needed me," growled Athos as he slapped his brother's arms away, feeling another stab of guilt when he saw the larger man flinch slightly as the move aggravated the man's injury.

"Abandoning him would be leaving him alone… he wasn't alone, he had me. I got him out and you got one of those responsible for taking him in the first place," retorted Porthos as he nodded down towards the unconscious imposter.

"Because that went well," scoffed Athos as he, in turn, nodded towards the injury Porthos was now sporting, making the larger man audibly growl in frustration.

"I've taken blades for you before, don't use this to add to your misplaced sense of guilt."

"You only had to take it because I failed to notice him take the dagger from me in the first place," defended Athos as he eyed the still bleeding wound. The blow had not been fatal and given the man's injury had been thrown with significantly less strength than it could have been but that knowledge did little to assuage the swordsman's guilt. "I was distracted and you paid the price."

"You. Were. Grieving." growled Porthos, feeling his frustration at the man before him growing to near dangerous levels and he knew he would need to leave soon before either man said something they would end up regretting. "Dammit 'Thos you're allowed to be distracted every once in a while. I'm fine… The pup's fine so will you snap out of it and come with me to see that for yourself?"

The last part of Porthos's rant turned significantly more pleading than he would have liked given the frustration he felt towards his brother's apparent determination to blame himself but he couldn't help it. After everything, they had been through he knew they needed to all be together but while he theoretically could drag the swordsman to D'Artagnan's side he knew their reunion would go better if Athos went of his own volition.

When Athos said nothing in return, merely looking away with a guilty expression on his face Porthos felt all of his earlier frustration, and then some, surge to the surface, causing him to glare at the swordsman before moving to pick up their latest captive.

Pausing by the door of the room he looked back at his still frozen brother, letting out a small frustrated scoff he spoke softly, "When you've finished needlessly blaming yourself I'll be with 'Mis and the pup, who still needs us."