Admiral Chandler on the bridge" When Tom arrived on the bridge he nodded his head as a polite salute to all the crew already present. "Dismissed" he finally said, joining Mike. He had this serious face and Tom knew something was going on. And he wasn't really sure he wanted to know it right now.

"I thought I was usually the one lost in my thoughts" he whispered, hands crossed behind his back, staring at the infinite blue sea in front of him. That was so peaceful he could almost forget war wasn't over yet.

"Sometimes I wish things could be easier, after the red flu I thought the worst was behind us. And then you know the rest of the story." Mike mumbled, both of their look still focused on the vaste ocean. "I spoke to the White House this morning, just after the briefing. I know I've told you it was your choice to make, but I couldn't let the situation gets any worse and you know about it. US government is offering Sasha the head of Naval intelligence. She is the best in her domaine, and it would be an office job, with easier schedules, at least for few months."

Tom finally turned his head, looking at Mike, speechless. He knew he was playing dumb, and he knew that wasn't a good thing to keep her on board. That's why Mike had to take the decision for both of his friends. "I've tried to talk to her." he finally said. "but it didn't go as well as expected" knowing that of course, Sasha wouldn't react well. A smirk appeared on Mike's face, of course, he knew the woman too well.

"Head of Naval Intelligence? That's a high rank, and lot of responsibilities." he whispered for himself. "But it's sounds like the carrot. What's the stick?"

Mike probably knew he was about to come out with this sentence. And Sasha would probably do the same, they were so connected in so many ways that it was kind of scary sometimes. And honestly, he didn't know what was that stick. More or less it was one, but it was also for her, because she was originally working in the Navy, not for the U.S government. And the NI department really needed officers with experience, in fact, when Mike spoke up with the president, he didn't even need to "sell" her as the best horse for the job, he already knew it and was about to pop up the question, knowing the best Naval intelligence office was missioned on the James.

"Well, I guess you're gonna have to talk to her. And don't even think I'll help you out, I've tried and I've failed." Tom said, half smirking, half wondering in which mood he would get back Sasha.

"Fake brother" Mike only said, wondering the same.

It was late.

Sasha was standing outside on the deck, staring the horizon, lost in her thoughts, the wind making her dark hair twirl around her face. She was preoccupied. Lot of stuff was happening, and she didn't have time to properly think about it. The seeds, the whole mission, her relationship with Tom, the almost daily ground operations, the fact she got used to be part of Vulture team during their time in Asia, and now she was kind of off. And especially her little argument with Tom, the one he didn't finish because their desire for one another was too strong.

What was she supposed to do ? She knew going back to would be good in so many ways, she could at least keep an eyes - and be present - for Tom's kids. She loved them as her own, they were great kids. And she knew it wasn't easy for them to have their dad away all the time. She took a deep breath, softly rubbing a side of her bump, imagining the life they would have once he/she would be born. She didn't want this baby to grow up with absent parents, but she didn't want to give up on her career either. She wanted both happy family and work lives. Why did she have to choose, wasn't it supposed to be normal after all ?

"Such a beautiful view isn't it ?" a voice said behind her back, "one I couldn't hardly live without."

She turned and saw Mike, hands crossed behind his back, he was looking peaceful. She greeted him with a soft smile, this man was a big teddy bear. He was kind and during the last sixteen months, he'd become a friend. She didn't really talk to him before but when Tom left away from the ship, she discovered how much they were friends - almost like brothers - and they kind of shared pain together. He helped her, and cared for her when no else was there, when she was herself giving up on everything. And now they had profound respect for one another.

"Funny isn't it ? Im a Naval officer but never really had the chance, or even the opportunity to spend some time on big boys like Nathan James." she smiled. "Sailor life isn't as bad as I expected, I can understand now why Tom really enjoy being here."

"Sasha, you know it's just a question of months. I can imagine how it's hard for you and Tom to handle the situation but that's probably better for you. After what happened on the deck the other day…." he interrupted himself for few seconds. "I don't know yet if we'll make it home before the end of your pregnancy. And its not a place for a baby to grow up, he or she deserves better dont you think?"

She knew he was right but still a part of her didn't want to admit that she had to leave the ship for at least 6 months. To safely finish her pregnancy, deliver a healthy baby, settle down for a bit and then get back to her career. She never had to take such a choice, the last time she got pregnant, she stayed in the shadows for 3 months. And when she finally started to think of keeping this child of love, she woke up one morning with blood in between her legs….. and she then never stopped focusing on her career. "I know," she said, in a soft whisper, avoiding eye contact. "I'm scared Mike. I know how to do my job, and I love it, but this, its all new, and I dont know what to expect about delivering a baby…" she confessed for the first time out loud. "Without Tom, I dont know if I can handle it."

"You'll. And he's gonna be proud of you." He smiled.

It was around 2:27AM when she'd sneak out of her cabin, wearing his shirt on, trying to be as discrete as possible while walking in the corridors. Fortunately she didn't see anyone and reached her goal in no time. He'd already sense that someone was in the room as he slightly groaned. Sasha made her way to the bed and slowly took off shoes and clothes before slipping under the covers with him. Tom immediately made her some space, and waited for her to get closer to tangle his feet with hers, and surround her body with his warm arms, his nosed filled with her sweet scent.

"Go back to sleep babe…" he whispered to her ear, knowing she had sleeping troubles.

But he was glad that most of the time, she was finishing well the night with him, without nightmares. And it was one of the reasons why he wasn't sure that sending her back was a good idea. Who would be there to care for her during night terrors ? Feeling secured in his arms, she quickly fell asleep, her back against his hard chest. She could feel his heart beats and that was the sweetest lullaby she could ask for. But 2 hours later she woke again, feeling terrible, screaming and scaring them both. Tom immediately stood up, trying to calm her down.

"Sasha! Sasha wake up, shush babe don't worry you're safe! Everything is fine, please wake up,"

He was holding her against him, trying to make her understand that the nightmare was over. She was almost crying, covered in sweat. Her sobs were intense, she couldn't even form a full sentence, her bright eyes looking at him in pain. Tom kissed her forehead, keeping her against his bare chest, cuddling her and rubbing her cheek with his thumb. "I'm here Sash, nothing will happens to you…"

"But…." She finally said, still sobbing, her heart still beating too fast. "But you won't be in …"

They were finally saying out loud. That they would miss each other so much. She was the only one being able to calm him down, and so was he. They were completing the other one, even after all of those years apart, nothing had changed. They still had this alchemy running between them. This strong bond had never faded and thats the reason why it was so hard to be separate, especially now that a child was on the way. They both knew it was the best to do, but it was such an heartbreaking decision.

"What was it about?" He broke the silence, rising her chin to make her look at him. "The nightmare," She resisted a bit, then had to let it go, bitting her lower lip. She couldn't lie to him but she didn't want to talk about it. Not now, it was way too soon.

"Nothing." she whispered, trying to avoid his regard. "It's fine now, it was nothing don't worry. Sorry for waking you up, let's…. Let's go back to sleep," She didn't want to tell him, he would probably think she was stupid and she didn't want to see disappointment in his beautiful eyes. She didn't want him to see her another way.

"Sasha please talk to me, you know you can. Whatever it is." His voice was low but serious, he didn't want her to feel weird about talking to him. Sometimes he was thinking he wasn't good enough, especially when his kids or his girlfriend didn't want to discuss what was bothering them with him. What did he do wrong ? But he also knew that pushing her too hard would block her even more, so he had to be patient, Sasha would find him on time.

She stayed quiet, she'd learned over the years how to handle her; Sasha knows best. And it was hard to let go this habit, even with her husband she didn't share everything, she'd always needed a private space, to secure herself in case of something would happens. She knew Tom was her safe person and probably the last man she would share her life with, but it was way too soon.

"It's okay Sash, try to go back to sleep…." he finally said, knowing she wouldn't say another word. They went back under the covers, holding close each other, falling asleep. At least Sasha, Tom waited for her to be fully asleep, listening to her breathe, fixing the ceiling, unable to focus on something else. He needed to find out what was the cause of her nightmares, and more important, he needed to help her.

Just like she did. Because they were caring for each other.