thank you for your nice reviews it's so motivating. Warning: M

4 months ago

It had been such a rough day. The team had to infiltrate Giorgio's mansion to collect precious informations about Vellek's lab and location. And when Omar's men arrived, situation got worse. They almost reached their extract point when Sasha got shot in the arm. Giorgio took the opportunity to escape and run away back in the mansion. But he didn't know about the trap Burk installed just before they'd leave his office. And before he could realise, the house blew off.

"Where did you get shot ?" Tom almost shouted when they were far enough. He didn't want to show how much he was worried, her vest was blood damped.

"My arm. But it's nothing to worry about," she answered, try to stay as calm as possible. She knew he would worry, and probably much for her than anyone else. Even if he didn't want to do it, he was favouriting her unconsciously. Just the way he was speaking to her, even when he was yelling orders. It was softer, always had been.

So you have a soft spot for me ?

He would always remember the day he found her waiting in his cabin, after they successfully made it through the minefield. She looked so calm, and he'd tried so hard not to jump on her to kiss those beautiful lips. He was feeling deep inside of him the need of touching her, of being close to her. When he saw her at Peng's mansion, for the first time in 15 years, his heart almost stopped. She obviously looked older but still flawless to him, and the same malicious regard. Beautiful, she was beautiful, that was the word. And he struggled a lot to take off his eyes from her and stay professional during the dinner with the president.

"You lost that right, Rios only can tell if its 'nothing' or not," he cut. He hated when she wasn't taking seriously her health. She had been shot for god's sake and she was acting like everything was normal.

He knew they were trained to continue their mission in every situations, but Sasha….. everything was different when it was about her. And that was his biggest weakness. He was weak when it was about her, because he couldn't stay professional. He was too attached to her.

She didn't argue with him, because the pain in her arm was getting stronger and she was struggling to hold her riffle. But she didn't want him to notice, or anyone else, she was in pain, and probably too stubborn to admit it out loud. She was loosing too much blood to his taste, and once the were secured in the helo, he teared up part of her black combat outfit to wrap her arm with his tourniquet to stop the bleeding until Rios could check on her. Sasha herself was confused and sort of annoyed. Because she didn't see the guy on the floor, because she didn't want to see her as someone weak.

When they finally reached the ship, she'd lost enough blood to have a headache, and everything was sort of blurry. She saw people running around her, voices weren't that clear, but she could feel the firm grip around her waist. Tom had detached the strap of her riffle to tie it to his, so that would be less weight to carry for her.

Few hours later she was back on the bridge, her arm wrapped in a bandage. Rios gave her some pills for the pain, and also checked her blood, just because she hadn't pass her medical test like the other sailors. But what she didn't expect was to find out she was pregnant. She was 2 months pregnant, more or less, and immediately remembered the night it happened. They didn't bother to use a condom because they didn't have one, and also because she thought her implant was still valid. Apparently not. She had to sit down for a minute, to realise what was going on. She ran a hand over he flat stomach, swallowing hard. She thought she'd be too old to carry life, she was almost 40, a child wasn't her life's plan for the future.

But she couldn't allow herself to think about abortion. Even if she would've been somewhere with an hospital and all the stuff needed to stop this pregnancy. It was his child after all, the second one…..their first child had been conceived 15 years ago and sadly didn't make it. And she never told him, because she was sure he would be mad at her and regret their fresh start. Because she failed at carrying their baby to the world. And then she realised. She got shot today, and she didn't know she was carrying life inside of her. What would've happened if she had been shot somewhere else ?

She found him on the deck, staring at the ocean, lost in his thoughts. He was mad at himself for letting something like that happens, it could've been way worse. He couldn't lose her today, or any day. Tom didn't even need to turn back to know she was there, he could feel it inside of his body, he could smell her delicate scent. His all body was alert when she was around, it was driving him crazy.

"Feeling any better ?" he kindly asked, looking at her, then her arm.

She looked lost, and didn't reply right away, trying to find the right words. She needed to tell him, but saying out loud would mean she accepted the fact they played with fire by breaking the military rules.

"Tom I…." she started to speak, her voice kind of trembling, which was never happening, she was usually confident. "I….I'm pregnant." The bomb was dropped, and she couldn't stop starring at the ground, wanting it to open under her feet so she could disappears and never comes back.

After what seemed to be an eternity, she felt his hand rise her chin, then 2 deep blue eyes looking at her with intensity. He didn't look mad at all, and that's why she got confused. He was already a father of two, and she never asked him if he wanted more kids in the future. But this look ?

"Is…..is it true ?" he managed to say, still shocked of the news.

She was pregnant with his child, in few months he would be a dad again. Right now, he was feeling blessed and happier than he could imagine. She was the woman he wanted to finish his life with, and this child was a gift. He wasn't as young as he was for Ashley and Sam, but he knew they could make it together. He saw how great she was with them, and he had no doubts, she would make an amazing mama.

"I'm sorry I, I thought my implant was still valid and…" she started to apologise, but he raised his hand to cut her.

"I can't wait to meet our baby." he whispered, his hand caressing her cheek, wiping away the tears streaming down her cheeks. At this moment, she felt relieved of all the tension. He was happy, and she realised she was too.

"Our baby.."

Tom got out of his thoughts, looking down at the gorgeous woman sleeping beside him. She was using him as a pillow, her head resting onto his lap. Finally she was sleeping, and he hoped that would last every nights from now on.

It was almost 6am and he had to get up for the daily briefing. She was supposed to attends it too, but part of him wanted her to stay in bed at least 2 more hours so she could be fully rested. And the professional part knew he couldn't continue to cover her, even if she herself didn't like it and asked him several times to stop.

"What's going on?" she asked, wearily, slowly awakening.

"Nothing to worry babe," he whispered, stroking her hair. "Did you sleep well ?"

He didn't want to talk again about the night terrors because he knew her response too well. When she'd be ready, she'd come to him, and then he would listen and comfort her if needed. She slowly smiled at him and pushed herself up to rest her head on his shoulder.

"Thanks to you Tom…." she whispered, liking to wake up next to him. That was her wish for the future, when the war would be over, when the seeds would be secured, she would love waking up to him every mornings for the rest of her life. They had still a lot to do before it could happens, but maybe one day. After all, they'd met each other after 15 years, sp everything was possible.

"I'm the one who should thanks you. For giving me another chance, and for offering us this precious gift," he said, kissing her forehead and rubbing his hand over her swollen stomach.

That why she broke up with him fifteen years ago. She was too young, 23, and she did want a career, being a badass agent traveling all around the world. He already had this, so he wanted to settle down and have a family. They were happy together, madly in love, but being 10 years apart made them realise they couldn't make it. And that's why she left, because she knew he wouldn't be happy and more than everything she wanted him to be. Even if that was including a life without her. It had been painful, so much that she'd cried for a whole month, and then got deployed to Asia. But that was the best to do, and deep inside, both of their broken hearts knew it.

"Don't," she silenced him with a loving kiss. He kissed her back till they both needed air.

Tom trailed some kisses down her neck and then her collarbone, making her moan gently. No one ever touched her the way Tom did, he knew every part of her body and how to please each of them. Even after all those years, he never forgot her favorite spots. She took a deep breath, and slowly lied down onto the mattress, in a spoon position. Tom took one second to admire the view she was offering him, she looked so precious and lovely, and all he wanted right now was making love to her, passionately.

Positioning against her, his chest against her back, he could feel how wet she was for him. He slowly slipped his hand between their bodies to start stroking her clit, making her shiver and moan. And for more pleasure, he inserted two fingers into her, curling and slowly moving them up.

"Please Tom…." she pleaded, her hand trying to reach his cock, her body arching as much as this position was allowing her to. For a second, he stopped, knowing she would beg him even more.

"Then what Sasha, what do you want ?" he sensually whispered, nibbling her ear, knowing it would drive her crazy. By the time, she'd reached his hardness and gently stroked it. Tom groaned to her ear, eyes compulsively closed, feeling blessed to have her back in his life.

"Please," she continued her little show for few seconds, then slowly guided him toward her hot center, desperately needing him inside of her. He understood the silent request and softly entered her. It felt like coming home, those walls of hers were so soft and welcoming.

He kissed her jawline while his hand made their way to her breasts, stroking her sensitive nipples. Her moans were so comforting for him to hear but he wanted to be the only one to enjoy them. Tom moved one of his hand toward her face but instead of covering her mouth, he slowly inserted one finger in her mouth. Sasha immediately answered and sensually sucked it, as the thrust inside of her became deeper and harder. Tom felt the release coming, his face buried into Sasha's neck. He was chewing his lips so his moans wouldn't be too loud but that was such a hard task. Seconds later, he felt her clench around him and then she came, bitting his finger while screaming out his name.

"Sasha…." he groaned, thrusting two more times before spilling his semence inside of her, both of their bodies shivering by the force of this orgasm. "What did you do to me…." he managed to say, breathless, turning her body so he could see her beautiful face again.

Tom was standing up, arms crossed behind his back. He felt kind of guilty sending her back, feeling like he was kicking her out of the ship, but part of him knew it was the best option they had. He looked at his woman, trying to convince himself he didn't make the wrong choice. They'd all miss her, she was a kind woman, and a major asset to their team. He'd miss her more than anything, especially their forbidden nights together. It was like a ritual, and more than that, it was much needed. He hoped she wouldn't be victim of night terrors again, back in . That was worrying so much to know she would be most of the time alone in their house, in their bed….

"Stop thinking I can see the smoke getting out of your ears." Mike said, standing in the same position.

"I just hope she's gonna be alright." Tom whispered. He couldn't tell his friend how heartbreaking it was for him to let her go. He wanted to be by her side, and seeing her about to leave felt like a knife in his heart.

"They will. And when the mission will be over, you'll catch up the missed time with your family."

He suddenly felt guilty. His friend always had the right word, he was always so positive and so kind about everything. He'd lost his son during the pandemic and had no idea about his wife and daughters. But he was still hoping, after 3 years he was still hanging to this thought that one day, they might be reunited. Tom admired him for this, he wished he could be as strong as Mike sometimes.

"Thanks Mike,"

He then walked over Sasha, who was being hugged tight by Azima.

"Take care of you, I can't wait to meet this little nugget!" she said happily, smiling to her friend. She knew it was hard for her having to leave but agreed with everyone else, it was safer. And she knew it wasn't a goodbye, it was a see you later, she had no doubts about their next reunion to happens soon enough. Just like she was sure about Captain Tom coming back to the ship.

"I'll, thanks Azima, see you soon." Sasha greeted her, smiling too.

She then felt a hand on her arm and looked up to see his non surprising owner. She tried really hard to act normal, but having to say goodbye to her man was killing her. She was scared, for one of the first time of her life, scared not to make it alone, and scared having to deal with this pregnancy alone. She wouldn't even be able to contact him, or very briefly. Radio silence, she hated those words.

"Keep your head down." he said, trying to show her how much he loved and cared for her. But they were in the middle of the helo bay, with lot of people around. It was killing him having to stay professional when everyone knew about them. But he had to.

She was bitting her lower lip, trying not to break down. "On a swivel" She wanted to hug him, as much as he wanted to hold her close and kiss her forehead. He wanted to kiss her goodbye, a last and lovingly kiss. "Sasha I…"

"Alert 60, get the bird on deck. Take off in 10." a Lt. announced.

"Sounds like I have to go." she whispered. "I love you Tom." He rubbed her belly with his thumb, as a goodbye to his child, then raised his hand to stroke her cheek.

"I love you too, be safe." he answered, letting her go and trying to ignore his crying heart.

After a last look at him, she headed to the helo to get in, and tried not to break down. But they would meet again, and she hoped he would come back to her alive.

He had too.