Chapter 6

A/N: I had a lot of fun with this chapter. It mostly deals with Addison and Meredith coming to terms with everything, and Derek being, well, Derek.

Addison ran her hand gently through Meredith's hair, gazing down at her lovingly while she watched her sleep. Today had been emotionally exhausting, and it wasn't even noon yet; she knew there was more to the story of what happened with Derek than what Meredith had told her, but she wouldn't push her. She didn't need to know everything to know she was pissed at the man. Meredith didn't deserve to be harassed by him, no matter what she did.

And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband. The shock and hurt look on Meredith's face still came to mind. She'd assumed that Meredith had known that Derek was married, that she was knowingly the other woman, but she hadn't. She hadn't, and maybe that was where her feelings had begun changing.

I don't hate you. And Meredith, high on morphine, laying in a hospital bed, had smiled at her, smiled at her like she'd just won the lottery. How could Meredith have ever thought she'd hated her? She didn't know Derek was married. And yes, prom had happened, but she hadn't blamed Meredith for that. Derek wasn't anything if not persistent. And there was Meredith, laying in the bed, telling her that Derek had hurt her when he'd picked her, Addison.

The only people who don't know Derek loves Meredith are Derek and Meredith. When she'd told Richard that, she knew exactly how she phrased it. Derek loved Meredith, was in love with Meredith, but she couldn't stand the thought of Meredith being in love with Derek, even then. She wanted to call it petty jealousy, a claim on the man she'd once married, but it wasn't. It was something else entirely.

Meredith wasn't a fling. She wasn't revenge. I fell in love with her. Even if Derek had said he wasn't saying it to hurt her, it had. She didn't understand why his words hurt her, not until later, much later. And it wasn't that Derek had fallen in love with Meredith, no that wasn't what hurt her. It was that Meredith returned his feelings; she knew that Meredith was in love with Derek too, and that killed her. And she hadn't known why. Until she did.

Thank you for not dying. God, Meredith. She knew the blonde was awake, had felt the subtle shift in her breathing, and as she sat there, she thought about calling her out on it. But she didn't. Because she'd seen Meredith's lifeless body in that room, blue and intubated and flatlined, and she almost sank against the wall like Derek had done, despondent, worried. That was when everything had become clear; somehow, somewhere in the entire mess that had happened since she'd walked through Seattle Grace's doors, she'd started falling in love with Meredith Grey, just as Derek had. And she had reassured Derek and Meredith's friends like she wasn't breaking down inside. She had to be the strong one because Derek believed she'd gone into the water on purpose. He thought it was intentional, that Meredith was trying to kill herself, and she had never wanted to hit him more in that moment. Meredith was a fighter, damn it. Meredith survived, and she found a bathroom to cry out her relief. And then Meredith was fake-sleeping and Derek had left for the night, and she was sitting beside the woman who had stolen her heart without even trying.

I need a reason to get up every morning. I need to get up and not care if it's raining or that I'm 39 and alone. She needed the position as Chief, she needed it so bad. She couldn't have Meredith, and then she wasn't made Chief. And so, she'd fled to L.A. because she couldn't face her feelings; she was falling in love, and Meredith would never love her back. And it was all because Meredith and Derek were the new Derek and Addison, and it made her feel sick to her stomach. And every time she came back, she was reminded of that fact.

You broke up with Meredith Grey? She couldn't understand how Derek could hurt Meredith over and over like that. She deserved to be happy, damn it, even if it wasn't with her. And then Meredith had called her over as she was leaving the bar. And all she wanted to do was sit beside her, grab a drink, and tell her that she was in love with her; she wanted to spill everything, put everything on the table, but she couldn't. She couldn't because she would never deserve Meredith. So, she buried her feelings again and told her not to let Derek run off into the sunset with Rose. She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, had wanted to take them back, tell her because they were both single and she wanted to make Meredith happy. But she had a life in L.A., and Meredith had a life in Seattle. And she was in love with her, but she couldn't know. So she buried her feelings, and then she'd left. And when she'd come back for Archer and then for Callie, Meredith and Derek we're together both times and she was miserable, but Meredith was happy. Meredith was happy and that was what mattered.

And then a week ago, she could've lost Meredith forever. It was worse than seeing Meredith with Derek. Because the car was speeding towards Meredith, who didn't even see it, who started to step out into the crosswalk. God, what if she hadn't been quick enough? She kept coming back to that. What if she hadn't? That was too close. Are you okay? What the hell were you even thinking? Christ, Meredith, you were rescued from a plane crash two days ago, for God's sake! Are you even listening to me? Even now, Meredith's dazed eyes haunted her.

She felt Meredith shift in her arms then, and she was brought back to the present. She had Meredith in her arms. That was something she never thought would be real. Sleepy-eyed, Meredith stared up at her, as if surprised she was still there.

"Hi," Meredith said softly.

"Hi," she replied, "Enjoy your nap?"

Meredith nodded, almost shyly, "Did you sleep?"

"No, but that's alright. I'll sleep tonight. Are you on a sixteen?"

"A twelve. Did I keep you up?"

"No, my thoughts did. Your snoring is cute, Mere." Meredith blushed, and she smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips, "All of you is cute."

"I'm a surgeon, Addie. I'm not cute," Meredith protested with a slight pout.

"You're a cute surgeon," She said as a compromise, "Cute and badass."

"Whatever you say, Satan."

"Ruler of all that is evil." She corrected immediately.

Meredith laughed, and she definitely felt her heart flutter. She kissed her again, just because she could, and Meredith sighed contently as she kissed back. Nope, she confirmed to herself for what felt like the millionth time, she would never get tired of kissing this woman. Meredith pushed her gently onto her back and deepened the kiss. As she started to respond to it, the blonde's phone started going off. With a sigh, Meredith reluctantly pulled away, grabbing for the device.

"Damn alarm," She heard the woman mumble.

"Work soon?" She questioned, even though she knew the answer.

"10 minutes," Came the reply as Meredith set her phone back down.

She gently grabbed Meredith's arm, pulling her back onto the bed. "Have you ever played 7 minutes in heaven?" Meredith shook her head, and she smirked, "That's alright. I'll teach you how to play, with modified rules of course." And then she kissed her again.

Meredith stumbled out of the on-call room, Addison's laugh still ringing in her ears and her lips still tingling. She bolted down the hallway to the Attendings lounge, knowing she only had a few minutes to spare. And even if she was late, she wasn't worried about it. Her residents were capable of watching over her patients for a few extra minutes. And as she raced down the hall, she thought back to each of those seven minutes Addison had talked about.

Satan played dirty, and even though it was only kissing, her body was absolutely on fire. She was aching for more, and Addison promised more.

"When we get home." And Addison calling her house home made her more giddy. What was the woman doing to her?

She changed into her scrubs quickly, relieved to find the Attendings lounge void of anyone but Cristina and Callie, who were too deep in a conversation to notice her.

"I didn't know Satan left love bites," Cristina said as she was changing.

"What?" She looked in a mirror and blushed at the hickeys that were forming along her collarbone and neck, a neat little row, "Oh my God."

"That's an oxymoron," Cristina answered, and she rolled her eyes in mock-annoyance.

"We heard Addison wants to kill someone," Callie said, "So what did Derek do?"

She sighed as she fixed her white coat over the dark blue scrubs, trying to hide the hickeys with her clothes, "He got a little handsy with me when I went to give him the divorce papers."

"What?" Both of her friends looked at her sharply.

"It's fine. He didn't hurt me." She could barely remember where he'd grabbed her, "Just shocked me, is all."

"He put his hands on you, Meredith, that's not okay," Callie said.

"It's fine," she insisted as she ran a brush through her hair quickly, "I took care of it." She turned, rummaging through her jeans, "Where's my phone?" She'd just had it, damn it. So where was it?

"Mere," She turned at Addison's voice as the neonatal surgeon walked into the room, holding up the device, "forget something?"

"You're a lifesaver," She smiled as she grabbed her phone, leaning up to kiss her, just because she could, "Thank you."

She felt Addison's smile as she kissed her back. And as quickly as it started, it ended, much to her disappointment.

"If that's the thanks I get, I'll make sure you forget things more often," Addison smirked at her, smoothing the lines of her white coat, "I'm going to get some work done at home, and then I'll meet you for a late dinner, say 9?"

"Okay," She confirmed.

"Okay." Addison echoed.

Cristina followed Addison out the door, and Callie turned to Meredith, who was smiling wide.

"Did you cheat on Derek with Addison?"

There were probably a hundred different ways she could've asked that, but she needed to know.

George, Rest in Peace, had cheated on her with Izzie, and even though it had been a one-time thing, she knew that betrayal. She knew what it was like to have the person you loved more than anyone betray your trust. And yes, Addison was one of her best friends, and she wanted her happy. But Derek was a colleague, and he didn't deserve to be cheated on.

The smile on Meredith's face dropped, and she braced herself. I will not hit her; I will not hit her. She wasn't expecting the blonde to start rambling.

"It was just a kiss. She saved me from getting run over by a car. Derek was being an ass, insisting on driving home. I stayed the night at Addison's hotel. The feelings were there, they've been there for a long time. But we didn't do anything. She held me after a nightmare, and we fell back asleep. The next day, Derek and I fought; he was angry that I hadn't come home. I threw my rings at him, told him I wanted a divorce, and left the room. Addison followed me. We kissed in the stairwell," Meredith looked up at her, tears in her eyes, "I know that we should've waited until the divorce was finalized, but we didn't. All we've done is kiss," basically, Callie thought, thinking of the line of love bites Addison had left, "and it's wrong because I signed the papers today, and he hasn't yet. I'm a cheater, and I should care more, but I don't. And I hate myself for it."

"Okay, okay," She pulled Meredith into a hug, holding her tightly as the dam broke loose. This was who Alex was calling Medusa? "It's alright, Grey. It's alright."

"No, it's not," She heard Meredith mumble.

"Yes, it is. You're following your heart. That's all that matters right now. You can't take back what happened, so move forward."

Meredith nodded and sniffled, wiping her eyes as she stepped back, "Thanks, Callie."

"You're welcome. And remember, if you break Addison's heart, I'm breaking your legs."

Meredith laughed softly at that, and that was enough.

Cristina ran to catch up with Addison, "So, what does Satan see in Medusa?"

"Medusa?" Addison arched an eyebrow as they walked together.

"It's Alex's nickname for Meredith."

"Ah," Came the response, "Is this your way of asking what my intentions with Meredith are, Yang?"

"She's my best friend."

"And I love her," Addison answered immediately, "I'm in love with her, Cristina, okay?"

Her eyes widened as they came to a stop in a deserted corridor. Addison stopped a few paces ahead of her, though neither woman knew who was leading. For a moment they were both silent.

"You're in love with her?" She questioned, just because she had to be sure.

Addison sighed, leaning back against the wall, "I've loved her for a long time. I left because I was falling in love with her. That's why I went to L.A. I was going to settle with being Chief because then I would have a reason to talk to her. But I didn't get the position, and I couldn't stay and watch them fall even more in love."

"They had broken up when you first came back for a visit, so why didn't you say something then?" Honestly, it made no sense. If Addison was in love, then why the hell hadn't she told Meredith that?

Addison leaned her head back against the wall as she let out a quiet, self-depreciative chuckle, "Derek is in love with Meredith. And I know part of Meredith is always going to love him, but I couldn't be the reason that they stayed apart. Meredith deserves to be happy, even if it's not with me."

The way Addison was talking reminded her of the conversation with Teddy when they'd decided to pursue a relationship.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, Cristina. Not with me, not out of guilt over Henry. And Owen loves you so much. So why would you pick me?

"She looks pretty happy with you," Addison looked at her with a frown, "I don't think I've ever seen her this happy with McDreamy."

"Oh, please. The man built her a house."

"You could build her ten houses," She replied, because she knew Addison was trying to find reasons to flee, "She's not with you out of guilt. She's with you because she loves you."

I'm picking you because I love you, Teddy. And it scares me, alright? I'm terrified to love you, but I've felt this way about anyone before. And yeah, Owen loves me, but I love you.

"What if this isn't worth it? What if we're making a mistake?" She'd never seen Satan look so unsure.

"If you find someone who you love enough to ruin your entire life for, it's always worth it."

"What are you, a hallmark machine?" Addison questioned, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Meredith loves you, Addison. A part of her may still love Derek, just like I'm sure a part of you still loves him. And yeah, you two are messy and complicated, and your shared ex is a bit, you know?" Addison nodded, "But you get her. You don't try to change her. You look at her all dark and twisty, and you don't get scared. You had the opportunity to do an amazing surgery on a little boy and you let Evil Spawn do it because you wanted to watch her first surgery back."

"Does everyone know that?"

"Teddy and I were watching in the gallery," She answered, "And you never took your eyes off Meredith until they'd closed. You know what Derek would've done?"

"He would've taken that boy into surgery because he's the best," Addison replied.

"You're the best too, Addison. The difference is that you and Arizona mentored Alex. You knew he was capable of doing the surgery and that if he had a problem, he could've paged you." She took a step forward, so that she was in front of the taller woman, "You prioritized Meredith over surgery, something that we both know Derek Shepherd would never do."

Addison nodded, blinking back tears as she attempted to be snarky, "Careful there, Yang. Someone might think you prefer Satan corrupting your person."

"I would rather have you corrupting Mere than Derek flashing McDreamy smiles while being a complete ass."

"I'll pay you to stop calling in McDreamy."

She smiled gently, "Promise me that you won't hurt her, Addison. Because if you do, I have a shovel."

Addison smirked, "I imagine Callie is giving Meredith the exact same conversation."

"Probably," She confirmed.

Around three p.m., Derek stepped out of his session with Dr. Wyatt feeling on edge. The session itself had gone well, talking about his hand and recovery time; his mother had agreed to come down and see about giving him a nerve from her leg, but he was still feeling angry. It was more at himself, for allowing himself to be angry over what Meredith and Addison had done. Sure, it had hurt, but Meredith had been pulling away for months. And if she was having an affair with Addison, then all he could do was walk away. There was no reason to confront it. He'd signed the divorce papers; they were laying on top of Meredith's things in the Attendings lounge. Their marriage was over. And it stung more than it had when he and Addison got divorced. But he knew why.

He'd actually lost both his ex-wives to each other. There was some kind of irony in it, he supposed. And while he didn't care what Addison did, he did care about Meredith. She was still the love of his life, and while he'd debated actually signing the papers, he knew they could just start over. Whatever was going on between Addison and Meredith was purely physical, quick fucks that would never mean anything. He and Meredith had a life and a daughter together. They were always going to be connected. And he knew that they could find their love again.

He made his way down the hallway, intending to go to the stairwell to avoid more people. Someone bumped into him as they passed by.

"I'm sorry." Came the immediate reply.

"It's alright," he stopped and did a double take, "Meredith?"

"Derek?" The blonde froze, "What are you doing here?"

"I had an appointment with Dr. Wyatt," He could do this. He could be civil, "We talked about my hand, career, the fun stuff."

Meredith looked physically relieved, and that hurt, "Good. That's good." She started past him, "I have a patient."

He reached out and grabbed her arm, "We're not done talking."

Meredith struggled to wrench her arm away, "Yes, we are."

He hated the look in her eyes, "Are you scared of me, Meredith?"

"No," she bit out, "now let me go."

And he wanted to ignore her, wanted to show her how much he loved her. He thought about the two of them working together on Nuero, how easily they had before the trial had happened. They could have that again.

"You're the love of my life, Meredith."

She wrenched her arm free and took a step back, taking a breath before she spoke, "Addison and I weren't having an affair, and this wasn't some kind plot to make you jealous. I'm not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with her."

He'd spoken nearly identical words to Addison about Meredith, "You fell in love with her?"

"I'm not saying this to hurt you, Derek. Up until the moment I threw my rings at you and walked out, I was committed to us."

"And then it was all free game, wasn't it?" He struggled to keep his anger in check, "You slept with her that night, didn't you?"

"Addison and I have never slept together."

He caught sight of the hickeys along her neck and pushed aside her hair to get a better look, "And I suppose you gave these to yourself?"

She batted his hand away, "Did you sign the papers?"

"Yes, I signed the papers," he said with a sigh.

"Then what I do and who I do it with are none of your concern, Dr. Shepherd. I have a patient."

And then she was gone, and he was left staring after her.

A/N: Lovely news, there's more chapters. I'll know more as I plot, but there's definitely more to come. Don't forget to review.