Epilogue
A/N: This is the end; no idea why people were thinking the last chapter was but it's whatever. Thanks to everyone for all the reviews and likes/kudos!
Time changes people. Events change people. Life, by its very nature, changes people. Three years in prison had definitely changed Derek Shepherd. When he'd first gone in, he'd been angry. He'd been livid. Meredith had thrown everything that they'd had away. Everything. And it had changed him. Made him angrier. She'd pushed him away, and he'd let her, and it had been an endless, vicious cycle. But he'd still snapped at her, lashed out at her, he'd hurt her, and she was supposed to be the love of his life. (Like Addison had been, once upon a time, he'd mused to himself). He knew he should've walked away. He'd replayed the stairwell and on-call room incidents in his mind a thousand times. And he knew both times he should've just walked away. But he hadn't.
The longer he thought about it, the more he would dream about it. He would dream about getting out and finding Meredith. He would dream about her waiting for him at the dream house, waiting with Zola, saying it had all been a mistake and that she loved him. He would dream about her visiting him.
That always made him look forward to visitation day. But the only ones who came to visit were his mother and Amelia. And he was always crushed, even though he was happy to see them.
His mother would look disappointed in him, every time, and he was always disappointed in himself. She never had to say she was disappointed in him; he always knew. She had that look in her eyes. Still, she would let him know how his sisters were doing, how his nieces and nephews were. She would tell him after every visit that she loved him. He knew she did. He loved her too. And he would tell her as much.
Amelia visited with her more often than not. And every time, he tried to get information on Meredith. How was she doing? How was Zola? They were his family, and he needed to know. She had this look in her eyes when she told him they were fine, like she was pitying him. And maybe she was. But Meredith and Zola were his family, damn it. How could he not want to know how they were?
Last year, her normal answer of, "They're both fine," had changed.
He'd been here for 2 years and was to go before the parole board next year. He was confident he'd be released early. He'd been making progress, after all.
"No Mom?" He asked when it was only Amelia who visited a few days after Christmas.
"Not today," Amelia replied but didn't offer more than that, which he thought was odd but let it go.
"How are Meredith and Zola?" he asked as Amelia sat down across from him.
"Addison proposed," She fixed him with a look, like she was trying to get him to just accept it. Accept that his adulterous first wife had proposed to his second? There was no way he would ever accept that, "On Christmas. Addison proposed, and Meredith said yes. They're getting married in July."
"That's great," he'd replied, but he knew he was lying to her.
It had broken his heart to know Meredith wasn't waiting for him, that she'd decided she was moving on. That she was still trapped in Addison's web. And Addison proposing, like she had any right to Meredith?
He was doing better. Getting better at controlling his anger. Never mind what the deal had been. Meredith and Zola were his family. He couldn't just stay away. Once he got his medical license back, things would be different. He could work anywhere. He could get his life back. And maybe, he would see about the no-contact order. Zola couldn't grow up without her father.
Meredith was nervous. No, scratch that, she was extremely nervous. She fiddled with the flower in her hair, smoothed the invisible lines of her dress. She sat in the chair while Wilson applied her make-up. Jo had come a long way in the last three years. She was an amazing surgeon already and was already in her 3rd year of residency. The young brunette had taken a shining to general surgery, and they'd grown close, the kind of mentorship she'd wished she'd been able to have with…
"All done," Jo said as she stepped back with a smile.
Lexie entered the room, quickly shutting the door behind her, "Wow."
She smiled at her sister. Cristina spoke up from where she sat on the couch, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "Yeah, yeah, we know, she looks amazing," Cristina smiled at her, "You do, Mere. You really do."
Alex poked his head through the door, "Almost ready?"
Butterflies swarmed in her stomach, her nerves setting on fire again. She thought of when Addison proposed, sitting in front of the fireplace, Zola and Henry playing on the carpet with their new toys, Milo curled up on the couch. And Addison had looked so nervous, her hands shaking as she gently pulled out the velvet box, opening it.
"This is such a cliché thing, asking on Christmas, but I can't help it. Meredith Grey, will you do me the honor of being my wife?" And in that moment, she'd never felt happier.
She'd smiled at Addison, smiled and kissed her, nodding enthusiastically. Because she had the inkling that Addison was going to ask.
"Yes, yes!"
And Addison's resulting smile was enough to make her forget to breathe.
She took a breath and walked to Alex, willing the butterflies to calm down. But her answer was the same as when Addison had asked.
"Yes."
Addison wasn't nervous. She wasn't, damn it. Except she really, really was. She tried not to fidget with her hair, keeping her hands clenched tightly in her lap to prevent the nervous gesture.
"You look amazing," Amelia said softly, and she met the brunette's eyes through the mirror.
Teddy hummed her agreement, offering her her own smile. Callie stepped back from her after putting the finishing touches on her make-up.
"She's not wrong." They looked towards the door as Mark spoke, a soft smile on his lips, "You look beautiful, Addison."
There was a moment, once upon a time, years ago now, where him saying that would've made her blush. Now, she merely smiled as she stood, "Thank you."
"You ready?"
She looked from Teddy, Amelia and Callie and then looked back at Mark, "I suppose so. No turning back now."
"I mean, I can always get a getaway car," Amelia offered up.
She laughed softly. Even after three years, the neurosurgeon had no filter.
"No getaway car needed," She stood and made her way to Mark, who offered his arm, "Let's get this show on the road."
Miranda Bailey watched as the women took their spots beside her and looked out into the small gathering. It was intimate and beautiful. It almost didn't look like a backyard, not with the way everyone had pitched in to help. The rows of chairs were filled, the sky was clear for once in Seattle, and the sun was shining. It was perfect
As the four bridesmaids took their spots, she watched Yang and Torres follow down the aisle. There had been no doubt who Meredith would choose to be her matron-of-honor, but Addison had a few choices. At first, she'd considered her friend Naomi from L.A., but they hadn't talked much since Addison had moved back to Seattle. Her brother Archer had asked if she'd wanted a best man instead, and she had turned him down. She loved Archer, but he would've flirted with the entire wedding party if he could've; she loved him but no. Callie wasn't intended to be her last choice; she'd debated asking her at all, simply because she'd just known that the Latina and Arizona were trying for another baby and hadn't wanted to complicate things. But Callie had surprised her and readily agreed to being her matron-of-honor.
Miranda watched patiently as the ring-bearer and flower girl walked down the aisle. It was adorable seeing Zola helping her little brother walk towards the front. At three, little Henry was easily distracted, but the moment he saw his aunts, he made his way to them, still carefully holding the rings, while Zola tossed the flowers down the aisle.
And then the music changed, and everyone stood and turned.
Meredith and Addison had argued over who would go first, Meredith insisting it be Addison, and Addison insisting it be Meredith.
It needed to be Meredith, Addison had reasoned, because this wasn't a courthouse wedding and the attention needed to be on her. Meredith had argued against going first, because Addison's first wedding was perfect, even if the marriage itself hadn't been, and that the attention needed to be on her. In the end, Mark and Alex had offered to decide, and that was when the two women had decided to talk it out. And, it turned out, deciding who would go first was an easy issue to solve.
And so, to see Addison walking down the aisle, with Mark by her side, it wasn't too much of a surprise to her. No one was surprised when she didn't ask her father, The Captain, to escort her. For one, no one except Archer knew where he was. And two, Addison had practically cut him out of her life after her mother had died. There was too much resentment she carried towards both of her parents. But asking Mark had made sense, considering that Lexie was also in the wedding. A part of her was expecting Meredith to walk down the aisle first, but despite Addison being a world-class double-board certified neonatal surgeon, Meredith was her kryptonite.
She looked gorgeous in the cream-colored wedding dress; her hair was made up in a perfect bun. She was carrying a bouquet of lavender flowers. It was very fitting, and completely Addison.
Meredith came down the aisle next, with Karev escorting her. When Mark and Lexie had gotten married a couple years ago, there had been no question who would walk Lexie down the aisle. Thatcher had sobered up, had been trying to be better for years; so, it was no surprise when she'd asked him to walk her down the aisle.
But for Meredith, she didn't have that connection; there was all that bad blood and trust issues. She'd considered it, briefly, but it hadn't been a long debate. In the end, she didn't want him to give her away. They didn't have that kind of relationship.
Next, Meredith considered Richard. He'd been like a father figure to her, and throughout her years in Seattle, they'd grown close, despite her initial attempts to avoid it. But, still, it hadn't felt right, even though she knew he would've jumped at the chance.
She'd asked Alex on a whim, not even sure if he would agree. He was focusing on his relationship with Jo and they all had busy lives, and she felt that she was intruding by asking. But Alex had readily agreed, even going as far to ask what had taken her so long to ask.
She watched as Meredith came down the aisle, wearing an off-white dress; her hair cascaded around her face in soft curls. She was carrying her own bouquet of lilies.
She smiled at the two women and then turned to face the crowd. Owen, Richard and Catherine were sitting beside Ben and Tuck. Ben and Tuck were a row behind Jackson and April; Jackson had his arm around April, their little boy Beau sitting on his lap. April was nearly 5 months along with their second child, and they were hoping for a girl. They had Mark and Lexie's 2-year-old twins, Ethan and Suzy Grey-Sloan, sitting beside them. Sofia sat beside Arizona. Arizona kept a hand on her stomach; the blonde and Callie were expecting their second child in just a few months, and this time Arizona had decided to carry.
Addison had invited a few friends from L.A., but they hadn't been able to make it. Addison had almost expected they wouldn't show. After all, saying you'd be gone for 2-3 months and it ending up being 3 years was a hard pill to swallow. But she did spot Archer Montgomery in the back, by a tree. It seemed that he'd made it after all.
Drs. Yang and Altman got married in a private ceremony with an officiate, in which Meredith and Owen had witnessed. Everyone had gotten their happy ending, but now, it was Meredith and Addison's turn. After everything that the two women endured, they deserved their own happy ending.
"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us today," she began with a smile, "Today we're here to unite Meredith Grey and Addison Montgomery in holy matrimony," She looked between the two brides, "Marriage is a promise between two people who each other, who trust and honor each other, and who choose to spend the rest of their lives together. This ceremony is a symbol of how far you've come in these last few years. It's a symbol of the promises you will make to each other, of how you will grow as partners and as individuals. No matter the challenges that you may face or how you will succeed, you'll do that together. The love between you now joins as one," She took a breath and addressed the crowd, "The brides would like to share a few words."
"Addison," Meredith began with a soft smile, "I knew from the moment you walked into Seattle Grace and introduced yourself that you were the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, even if I didn't know it at the time. You have never failed to make me smile. Your love has made me stronger. I promise to open myself to you, to never shut you out. I promise to come home each night and never put anything above you and our family. Today, you are my wife, and I'll love and cherish you every day."
"Meredith, you are everything," Addison started with her own smile, "I knew the moment I first saw you that you were special. You are amazing. You are an amazing mother to our kids. And I love you more than anything. When you hurt, I hurt. I fall in love with you more and more each day. I promise to always love you and cherish you. I promise to be faithful, to be better for you and our family. I promise to always put you first. Today, we begin our lives together, and I promise to love you every single day."
Miranda cleared her throat softly and then looked at Henry, "Go ahead."
He smiled at her and then ran to his moms with a grin, as they looked down at him, "Here, Mommy, Mama!"
"Thank you, sweetheart," Meredith said as she and Addison each took a ring.
"You did a good job," Addison added with a smile, "Now go stand with Aunt Amelia please."
"Okay!"
She smiled, "Meredith, place the ring in Addison's finger," After Meredith did, she continued, "Meredith, will you take Addison to be your wife? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer; to be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"
Meredith smiled lovingly at Addison, "I do."
"Addison, place the ring on Meredith's finger," The redhead did, and she continued, "Addison, will you take Meredith to be your wife? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer; to be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"
Addison returned the smile, "I do."
"Then by the power invested in me by the law in the State of Washington, I pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride." And much like the first kiss she'd witnessed between the two doctors, this one had just as much love. You could see it. Every time they looked at each other, or were in the OR together, you could see that love. All they did today was to make it official. As they slowly pulled away, she spoke, "Ladies and gentlemen, Doctors Meredith and Addison Forbes Montgomery-Grey."
Derek left the courthouse to find his mother waiting for him. This last year, everything began to fall into place, and he realized that it was his own arrogance that had gotten him here. He knew he could never undo the pain he'd caused; undo the damage he'd inflicted. And he knew he would live with his guilt until he could tell Meredith how sorry he was.
He was dressed in the same blue shirt and black slacks he'd gone into court in 3 years ago, confident that this was all a misunderstanding. He hadn't expected his lawyer to tell him to accept a deal. He hadn't expected a long trial, but a deal? It was pathetic. Now, though, he knew he'd probably saved himself thousands in legal fees, not to mention an additional 7 years in prison. He'd gone into prison angry, but he'd left remorseful.
"Mom," he began when he joined her at the bottom of the steps, "I thought Amelia was coming to pick me up?"
"Change of plans," She was angry, and he knew this car ride was not going to be pleasant,
"Get in the car, Derek."
He got in the passenger's seat and buckled in, turning to look at the woman who raised him. As they started down the road, everything was quiet. The radio was off, the heat on at a low level as to not be overbearing. The only sound was the tapping of rain on the windshield and the swish of the wipers.
"I raised you to be a good man," his mother began, and he stared straight ahead, "A good man. A decent man. Someone who would make your father and I proud. Someone who respected women."
"I know," he muttered, but she ignored him.
"So, imagine my surprise 3 years ago when your sister calls me to tell me that you went into a blind rage over a patient and attacked the mother of your child."
"I…"
"I am not done," She bit back, and he snapped his mouth shut, "Can you imagine what it's like to walk into the hospital where your children are supposed to save lives and ask what room your son's ex-wife is in? The room that he put her in? Because he lost a patient?"
"It was a mistake."
"A mistake?!" He wasn't expecting his mother to pull the car over and park, turning to face him with a particularly angry expression, "A mistake is writing A on a test when the answer was B. It's not beating your ex-wife! It's not gloating to your co-workers about it! You're lucky Addison only broke your nose because had I been there, I would've let her beat you senseless."
"I'm your son!" He hissed out, "How can you defend what either of them did?! Addison stole Meredith from me! And Meredith cheated on me with Addison! She wanted to say how much she loved me, but she was more than happy to spread her legs for Addison, while I was trying to get the use of my hand back!"
"Meredith and Addison weren't having an affair, Derek, for God's sake!"
"Yes, they were!" He answered, unable to hold back his anger, "Every time Addison came back, every time, Meredith was fucking her behind my back!"
"Then why did she agree to marry you in the first place? And have a family with you? Why didn't she just go to L.A. with Addison?"
"Because," he began.
"Because she loved you, Derek." She cut him off, "Meredith loved you. And until you started to push her away, she wanted you. And then the clinical trial happened."
"You weren't there!" He replied, "You don't know anything!"
"I know exactly what your co-workers told me, Derek. How you and Meredith were constantly fighting over everything. How you practically forced her out of Neuro as her specialty."
"I did not," he bit back, but his mother pulled the conversation back.
"Amelia had called me, and I took the first flight up. I held your baby sister as she cried in my arms. She apologized to me because she hadn't seen it coming. To me, Derek! She knew you were spiraling, but no one could do anything. She couldn't do anything. Because she was afraid of you," she took a breath and continued, "I walked into Meredith's hospital room, Derek. I wasn't sure what to expect. She was sleeping. And Addison was sleeping beside her, was holding her so tenderly, and I saw what you did to her, Derek. You hurt her. You beat her. You did that to her." He looked away, shame burning his face, "You lost any right you thought you had to Meredith the moment you put your hands on her, Derek. So whatever reunion you think is going to happen, it isn't."
"I'm sorry," he muttered.
"That doesn't mean anything to me. You didn't lose my love, Derek. You will always be my son, and I will always love you. But you need to earn my respect back. Because I never raised an abusive, wife beater," She took a breath and started the car again, "Decide what you'd like for lunch, and we'll eat on the way home."
"Yes, Ma'am."
He stared at the photos sitting on the mantel. He remembered after his dad had died how he spent hours staring at his parent's wedding photo. Wondering how he could really be gone, wishing it had all been a dream. His parents looked so happy in that photo.
He took in Mark and Lexie's wedding photo first, how happy they looked; Lexie's dress was gorgeous, and Mark looked great in his tux. They had their heads bent together, their eyes closed, holding hands as the photographer took the photo. They were so in love, and you could see it captured perfectly in the photo. It was exactly what they'd deserved. A happy life together. They were soulmates; the same way he had thought that he and Addison were, the same way he and Meredith should've been.
"It was a beautiful ceremony," his mother spoke up from behind him, and she wordlessly handed him the photo of the full bridal party. Ah, there was Meredith. She looked gorgeous in her pale blue dress, "Meredith was Lexie's maid-of-honor. And Callie was Mark's best man," She continued, "It was a small ceremony." He caught sight of Addison and Owen on Mark's side, and Amelia and Cristina on Lexie's, Thatcher standing beside Lexie and his mother beside Mark.
"Did they pick and choose?" he asked, confused by the mixed bunch.
"Lexie asked if Cristina and Amelia would be her bride's maid's actually. Cristina was her mentor, and Amelia and Lexie are still co-heads at work. And Addison and Owen offered to be Mark's groomsmen."
"And you went," he muttered softly.
"I had to give my other son away, yes," She replied patiently.
It was hard to believe that he'd missed so much. He handed the bridal party picture back and turned to the third wedding photo. He was dreading it, had thought to avoid it all together. But he couldn't.
They looked so happy. Happier than he'd seen them both. Addison's smile was blinding, and she looked happier than the day he'd asked her to marry him. Meredith was smiling a full smile, something she'd rarely done, and she looked happier than when they had gotten Zola back. There was so much love in their eyes as the photographer captured them coming down the aisle together, and as much as he hated to admit it, it was there.
Like she'd done with Mark and Lexie's photos, Caroline showed Derek another of Meredith and Addison's. This one had Zola and Henry in it, Addison holding Zola and Meredith holding Henry, as all four smiled for the camera. He had to get it through his thick skull that they were happy. He had to see it. He could be as remorseful as he wanted, but until he understood that Addison and Meredith were genuinely happy, she doubted he would let his resentment go.
"Zola's gotten so big," she heard him mutter, "And who's…"
"That's Henry. Meredith and Addison adopted him when he was a few hours old."
"Oh."
She saw the moment it finally clicked in his eyes. That Addison and Meredith were happy, that Meredith had moved on, that there hadn't been some grand affair, like he'd believed for years. They were just Meredith and Addison. And that was all they needed to be.
Addison woke up to her wife's gentle kisses along her neck. She smiled softly, not quite ready to open her eyes. Meredith hummed softly and leaned over her, and she took the moment to kiss her properly. She never would've believed this was possible, that she could be this happy. After everything she had done wrong in her life, she hadn't believed she deserved any happiness at all. But every day, Meredith proved her wrong. Every day, Meredith saved her.
She thought back to that moment, on the sidewalk, watching Meredith move without seeing. She couldn't lose her. That thought had pounded itself into her brain. She wouldn't allow herself to lose the one piece of happiness in her life. And, back then, Meredith was that. And now, that happiness was their little family, Zola and Henry and Meredith. And it was all she'd wanted, all she deserved.
Meredith pulled her from her thoughts, "You in there somewhere, Doctor Montgomery-Grey?"
She smiled and kissed her again, "I am, Doctor Montgomery-Grey."
It had been a big deal to Meredith that she not be called Mrs. when they got married; she'd listened as Meredith had recounted the time Derek had been invited to an event after they were married and the card had read Dr. Derek and Mrs. Shepherd. But that had been Derek and his ego. She and Meredith were both doctors, so to be married as anything other than that would've been a disservice to them both.
Meredith smiled into the kiss, and she took the moment to wrap her arms around her wife, making Meredith laugh softly as she settled against her. She looked down at this beautiful woman, who, once upon a time, she should've hated but had somehow fallen for. She never wanted to imagine a world without her again.
"I never want to lose you, Meredith," She said quietly, "I can't lose you."
Meredith kissed her gently, and as she started to respond to it, the blonde deepened the kiss, making her moan. When they finally broke for air, Meredith shifted to hold her close. She still couldn't believe how lucky she'd gotten.
"You will never lose me, Addison," Meredith answered, gently tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "Because I can't lose you either."
She relaxed in her wife's arms, sighing softly.
"How about we make use of a kid-free house?" Meredith muttered against her ear.
She arched an eyebrow and grinned, kissing her softly, "Oh, do tell."
"Oh, it starts with," Meredith began, and whatever else was said was lost as Meredith's hands traveled under the covers.
They'd come so far, survived so much. And this was what they deserved. Their happy ending. Together.
A/N: Thanks so much for reading this insanely long fic! Means the world. Until next time!
Hime