A/N: This is the start of a brand new collection of fics all centring a portrait as a main character because honestly, the portraits at Hogwarts don't get enough love. It'll be a small retelling of moments from HP more or less canon through the lens of a portrait! Also, first SiriusMarlene fic, so yay! Also, I wrote angst, which I generally never do, so yay (?)!
Title: what we could have been
Summary: Sir James St Vincent is a portrait at Hogwarts and he has been for 140 years. One day, little Marlene McKinnon talks to him, and a friendship blossoms between them. He watches her grow up, begin to flirt and fall in love with Sirius Black.
WC: 2,324
Characters: OC, Marlene M., Sirius B.
Genres: Romance, Angst
Sir James St Vincent is a portrait at Hogwarts, and he has been since 1830, ever since he was painted in his best clothes on his 25th birthday and the painting came to life when he died, 27 years later. Needless to say, in the 140 years he's been sitting on the walls of the memorable castles, he's seen some students go through.
Albus Dumbledore; brilliant but flawed, who he still sees passing by from time to time. Tom Riddle: intelligent but threatening. Hagrid: imposing but a real sweetheart. Euphemia Fawley: brash but loyal. Bellatrix Black: beautiful but crazy. Peter Pettigrew: lost but mean.
Out of all the names, the students he's remembered over the years, only one of them ever speaks to him. He understands them, he does. He's one portrait amongst the hundreds of Hogwarts, stuck on a wall that the moving stairs rarely pause against. They've got better things to do than wait for 7:37 PM to go and talk to him. But still, when Marlene McKinnon comes and talks to him, that first month of her first year, he is indescribably glad.
Marlene comes to see him everyday, just to say hello at first, then to tell him of her day, then to confide some of her greatest secrets. It's a special pleasure for him to know that he's the only one she does this for. The other portraits envy him and try to come visit him whenever Marlene comes, desperate for attention too and Sir James St Vincent has to shoo them away.
She calls him Jamie. She says he reminds her of her grandfather, who is also a magical portrait. She catches him up with all the latest gossip going on in the Wizarding world. He learns of the fate of all the students he remembers, right about them every time. It's nice to have a living friend again.
And this continues, and continues, for weeks and months. When the summer holidays roll round, Marlene says goodbye and promises to come back next year. Jamie discovers loneliness again for two months. But when September rolls around again, Marlene comes again, introducing him to her friend Lily, who is clearly not interested in talking to a portrait the way Marlene is.
The years pass, and Jamie watches her grow up, stop being a little girl and become a woman. She becomes beautiful, almond skin, chestnut hair, and hazelnut eyes glowing and losing the baby fat some of the other Gryffindors made fun of her for. Boys start to notice, and he tells her, teasing her. Marlene blushes.
Soon, it's her Seventh Year, and Jamie is terrified of having to lose her, but he doesn't say anything, savours every time his friend comes to talk to him.
"So," Marlene says one day, early September still, when the light still hits his portrait when she comes over. "I think I like this guy."
"Oh, really? Do tell," he prompts her.
"But I'm not sure yet," she tells him.
"Well, once you decide if you do or not, you had better come and tell me everything."
He's amused. His little Marlene is growing up, and he's determined to find out who it is. He has a sneaking suspicion, of course, but he lets her have her secrets. It's fun to watch Marlene discover feelings.
Sure enough, the next week, he hears Marlene coming up his staircase, but she's not alone. The deep voice and her little giggles confirm it for him. This is definitely not her friend Lily he's only talked to once or twice, no. This is definitely the guy she was talking about.
"I guess this is me," she tells him as they reach Jamie's portrait.
'Him' is a talk, dark-haired boy, with an arrogant but fun look in his eyes, as if he's just about to say something hilarious. He's definitely good looking, much like Jamie when he was that age, and has that scrappy, casual, 'bad-boy' (a word he learnt from Marlene) look about him, from his unruly hair to his untucked shirt and loosely knotted tie. Sirius Black.
"Thank you for walking me here," she says, smiling.
"You know, there are probably other places I can walk you to," Sirius teases.
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, like class or something," he suggests, hands in pockets, trying to look nonchalant.
"Oh." Marlene looks disappointed.
"You don't want too?"
"No," she has a small teasing smile. "But I was hoping something more along the lines of Hogsmeade."
The boy looks amazed, but he can't keep the smirk out of his voice. "Are you flirting with me?"
"You wish," Marlene declares, but clearly, she just was.
Another boy appears at the top of the staircase. Jamie knows this one too. It's James Potter. Euphemia's boy. Sirius Black's best friend. He too has that unruly mop of black hair his friend favours, except with a pair of glasses. This one, he knows, will probably do great things too, just like his mother.
"Padfoot, there you are!" James calls. "Moony and I are waiting for you. You coming?"
"Coming!" Sirius calls back. He gives Marlene a wave and rushes after his friend.
Marlene then gives a little sigh and turns to Jamie, an absolute love-struck look on her face, radically different from the self-assured, unfeeling look she had on her face a couple of seconds ago.
"So," Jamie starts, "That Black kid, huh?"
"Isn't he dreamy?" Marlene tells him. Jamie can't help but roll her eyes. Ah, young love. It seems positively ridiculous from his point of view, being much older and more mature. (Though the question remains if he's 25, 52, 165, or 202).
"That same guy who used to tease you for your cheeks."
"He's changed!" Marlene assures him but Jamie just laughs.
But truly, he has changed. He's not the same boy he was when they were in Third Year. And Jamie definitely likes Sirius. He's peculiar. His name is Black, and yet he isn't like any Black he's seen run past his portrait yet. For a start, he's in Gryffindor, and he hasn't got that penchant for cruelty he's seen in all of the Blacks, even in the kindest ones. Okay, he does seem to have a string of girlfriends behind him, but Jamie knows – the way all the portraits know the gossip from the Gryffindor common room. After all, the "Fat Lady" as the students call her is a bit of a chatterbox – that there haven't been any girlfriends likely.
Over the next couple of weeks, Jamie looks closely at Sirius, trying to determine if he's good enough for Marlene. And the conclusion is: the boy is absolutely smitten with her.
"Do you think he likes me?" Marlene asks after one month of obvious flirting.
"He stares at you every time you look away, Marlene," he assures her.
She blushes, but then: "And do you like him?"
"He's a winner."
"Oh, good!"
It truly touches him that Marlene still values his opinion. He likes the fact that he matters in her life. After all, he matters to so few now.
Next time he sees Sirius, he's holding hands with Marlene, and she's laughing at one of his jokes, so Jamie knows they're together. When the Fat Lady comes for a visit to his portrait, she spills the tea – literally, spills it everywhere, and Merlin knows how long it takes for things to dry in portraits – and tells him all about how she saw the pair kissing in front of the common room for Morgana knows how long! Why couldn't they have just gone inside? Jamie just chuckles.
Marlene seems so happy now. Jamie watches her almost skip to classes, a smile constantly plastered on her face. Honestly, if he wasn't such a good friend, he's probably laughing at her, and her ridiculous happiness. But he doesn't of course, because it fills him with joy too, to see her like that.
And then one day it ends. Jamie knew it was going to happen, of course. They're 17, and while he was young, it was normal to be together forever, nowadays, Hogwarts flings don't always last very long. But he's there to listen to her.
She comes to him crying.
"What's wrong, Marlene?" he asks, in the most comforting tone he has. "It's not Sirius, is it?"
She sniffles. "No! Yes. No."
"Oh, Marlene," he says, "Don't worry. There will be others."
She shakes her head vigorously. "No, it's not that. Not that at all."
Jamie is surprised. It's not?
"Here," she thrusts a letter at him. "Read this."
Jamie hesitates. "Marlene, I can't. I'm a portrait."
She gives a small bitter laugh, wipes her eyes then begins to read the letter. "Marlene, your mother and I are pleased to announced that we have managed to arrange your marriage to Arthur Selwyn. This union is non-negotiable. It will bring honour and save the family from ruin. You are to be-"
She breaks into heavy sobs and can't finish the letter.
Jamie is speechless. He's never thought that this would happen. Not to his Marlene at least. But of course, he's forgotten that she's a Pureblood, that her family is ruined, that her mother was a Rosier before she became a McKinnon. It makes sense, but he never thought it would happen. And clearly, neither did she.
"Oh, Marlene. I'm so sorry," he says quietly. "Can I do anything?"
Marlene shakes her head, gives him a weak smile, and hurries up the stairs, looking positively miserable. Jamie feels absolutely powerless to help her in any way. His only portrait is at Hogwarts so he can't do anything, and he doesn't know of any of the portraits in her house, apart from her Grandfather, whose name he doesn't even know.
A tiny part rejoices in him that he's the one she's trusted this information with her. But it's a very small part.
Jamie doesn't see her the next day. It's the first time in Seven Years. Then he really worried for her, but once again, he's stuck. The Fat Lady tells her she didn't see her come out of her dorm at all. Even Sirius comes to ask him if he's seen her, but his answer is negative. Jamie knows she hasn't told Sirius yet, he's still got that hopeful look about him of young love.
Then, the next day. He does. She's not alone. It's not pretty.
"What do you mean, you're engaged?" a voice shouts, the noise spiralling up the staircase. It's Sirius. He's marching up the stairs and Marlene is rushing to keep up with him. "And how long have you known? How long were you planning on keeping this going?"
"I literally just found out!" she replies angrily, her voice still calm, but tears are pearling in the corner of her eye.
He snorts. "Thanks for your honesty," he tells her bitterly. "But you knew it was going to happen eventually."
"No!" Marlene replies weakly.
"Of course you did," he mutters. "And what was I then? Just a little tryst to pass time before Arthur Selwyn sweeps you off your feet?"
"It's not like that at all!" Marlene cries.
"Yeah, right."
"Forgive me, Sirius. I didn't have a choice."
"There's always a choice," he retorts. Climbing the stairs two by two.
"No, there wasn't!"
They're in front of Jamie's portrait now, but he doesn't say anything. She wouldn't want him to say anything. She's fiercely independent that way. It's the evening, in the middle of January. There's no more sunlight, only the light of the candles he can see flickering in her watery eyes, as she stands a couple of steps below Sirius.
"Don't give me any of the bullshit, Marlene," he says coldly.
"I'm sorry!"
"You broke my heart and all you can say is 'sorry'?" he retorts.
"What do you want me to say? 'I love you'? 'I'm breaking off the engagement to stay with you'? Because one of those will only make things more difficult, and the other isn't true," she gives a bitter laugh, trying to put a tough expression on her face, though the tears running down the side of her face give of the wrong impression. "Though I won't tell you which is which."
He huffs. "It's not like you want to stop my heartbreak. You're deceptive and impatient, Marlene. It's a wonder I ever fell for you."
Jamie winces and Marlene's face crumples. His accusation are true, but it doesn't mean that he gets to throw them around just like that, and it's killing Marlene to have to see her faults pushed in front of her eyes in one of her worst moments. Jamie guesses it's to salvage his pride, it's not everyday that someone as proud as himself confesses to his heartbreak.
"And you think you're perfect, Sirius Black?" Marlene cries. "You're unpredictable and selfish!"
"At least I'm not hiding a freaking engagement!"
"But I wasn't hiding it."
"Stop it Marlene. And don't speak to me again," he finishes, rushing up the stairs and hopping onto the landing before the stairs begin to move away from the wall, carrying Marlene awa from him and Jamie, tears running down her cheeks.
She doesn't visit for a week. And when she comes back, they never mention Sirius again. She tries to pretend she's happy about the engagement. During her last day at school, Marlene comes to say goodbye, and it's the last time he sees her.
"Watch out for that Pettigrew guy," he tells her.
"Thank you, Jamie. I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too."
"I'll come and visit you," she promises and then she's gone.
But she never visits again. Sirius does though, and he looks nothing like what he did when they were younger. James wonders what could've happened, what they could've been if they stayed together.
No one speaks to Sir James St Vincent again before a long time.
FOR HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY
House: Ravenclaw
Assignment #9: Photography Task #1 Write about a magical portraits
Gobstones: White stone – honesty – 11) SiriusMarlene – 4) Arranged Marriage – 4) Peter Pettigrew
All aboard: 4) what we could've been
Honeydukes: 3) Peter Pettigrew
Salazar says: 1) "Forgive me name, I didn't have a choice" / ""There's always a choice"
Talent show: 94) 4) portrait, 5) winner, 2) "he stares at you every time you look away"
Writing club:
CA: 12) bowtie
RC: 6) Miserable
EE: 6) Deceptive
Llof: 2) doing something daily
SC: 10) unpredictable
LA: 6) stop my heartbreak
TV: 13) controlling parent
F 25th) Impatient
Autumn seasonal:
3rd November Cliché Day: Lovers separated by destiny
Pet peeves: 14) Impatient
Chemistry: 34) Selfish
UN: 97) "Are you flirting with me?" / "You wish."
Princess: 33) Set in the evening
Colour: 3) Almond
Flower: 8) "You broke my hear and all you can say is sorry?"