ahhh, so you want to know what an average day in the imperial guard is eh? you want to know about the stupid shit and idiotic things i have seen and done?
no?
well too bad, i'm telling you anyway.
my story begins, in the...well i was gonna say glorious battlefield of armegeddan, but come on, there aint anything glorious about getting cleaved in half by a big green dude with an oversized tire iron.
so long story short. orks are making a massive push on the eastern hemisphere of armageddan, the general in charge of that area, who i happended to be serving under, decided it would be a good idea to "meet the greenskin menace in honorable melee"
ok, first of.
there isn't anything honorable about stabbing someone with a blade, no matter the situation.
sencond of all.
melee combat with orks is what i like to call, absolutly fucking stupid on a level not even an ork could reach . seriously, the dumb fuck must of been snorting ork spores to think that was a good idea.
you may have noticed that i am particularly bitter about that.
remember that ork with the tire iron. yeah, that wasn't fun.
but hey, at least i got some sweet cybernetic legs out of it, so i guess it wasn't that bad.
ok, it was fucking horrorfying, but you understand, reading this on your fancy 2nd millenium machine.
...
...
why did i say that?
alright, i'm just gonna put this down and go help the others with unloading the supplies,
4th degree warp fuckery really messes with the head.
sheesh.
(AUTHERS NOTE) so, for those who have read my other stories, i wish to apologize, i keep on creating new stories and then forgetting they ever existed.
i think the issue with that is that i can't write a serious story to save my life.
so, this is my new project, a completely satirical take on the warhammer universe, set in the TTS universe, where everything is grimderp, which is much easier than writing in grimdark style, i just don't have the mental abilities for that kind of stuff. it's much easier to write a humor story. i don't have to worry about that ''thinking nonsense''.
my next chapter will come once i have finished writing it.
whenever that will be.
seeya around.