All dialogue that is in italics is actually from the show (S2: E8 "The Blade of Marmora"). I do not own that dialogue or any of the characters. I normally don't write a fic with THIS much of the original script or whatever (at most I'll include a line or two), but I needed to do it this way, to satisfy my little plot bunny. Also, if you know me at all, you know that fics that are MOSTLY canon are my specialty. Especially when it comes to angsty characters with dark hair (aka Keith and Regulus). I wrote this for a friend and also because Sheith is the perfect vessel for angst, and I'm feeling angsty.
Also, this fic came to be because of a quote from Parade (the musical): "just look at you - how could I not be in love with you?"
Fun fact: this was probably the hardest fic I've ever written? Keeping something SO canon compliant while also trying to twist each little bit of subtext and only adding a few things here and there to make it obvious that it's a Sheith fic? Oof.
Fun fact #2: This was only partially betaed. I don't have enough friends who beta Voltron, so if you want to be a Voltron beta for me, please, please, please PM me. I'd appreciate it so much! That being said, I was having past/present tense issues whilst writing this... I tried to catch it all, but I may have let something slip.
Anywho! Please enjoy
Warnings: Blood, lots of physical fighting, mentions of death, mentions of war.
Newly Awakened (Fully Realized)
...
Keith
They all had control stations on the bridge, where they could tap into the Castle's defense, comm, and navigation systems. Keith sat in his. Normally, he would be standing—preferably next to Shiro—but he was exhausted and confused.
So he sat. Lance would probably say he was sulking; Keith would argue that he was simply thinking.
It was hard to pay attention to the group. He was vaguely aware of Shiro and Coran discussing the location of the Blade of Marmora's base, but his mind kept flickering to the knife in his belt. The knife he still hadn't told anyone about. The knife that had looked so much like Ulaz's. A Blade of Marmora.
He had thought it was his dad's. He had found it with some of his dad's other possessions, but he never once remembered his dad wielding it. To be fair, he didn't remember much of his dad at all. Only that he was kind and warm.
His thoughts were interrupted by Lance loudly complaining about being hungry, and he snapped, glaring at the Blue Paladin. "Guys, this is a serious mission. We need to focus."
Lance mocked him, that was nothing new. Keith ignored him and turned his attention to Shiro and Coran. Their 'serious mission' had just become harder—where Ulaz's coordinates had sent them were two black holes and a giant blue star. Pidge began spouting facts about the celestial objects, and Keith only partially processed it. Or, more accurately, he heard her words and a giant, flaming DANGER sign popped into his mind.
His worries were interrupted by Hunk talking about food (again), and Lance complaining (again).
"GUYS, QUIET!" Keith snapped, getting increasingly more irritated with all of them. "Coran, where's the base located?"
The short answer: an incredibly dangerous place.
"The perfect defensive position," Pidge said. Keith agreed.
Allura decided to cut in. "Or the perfect trap."
Hunk wanted to back out. Hunk always wanted to back out. Keith felt his irritation grow. "What are you talking about? We have to go in! This is the whole reason we came out here! There is NO OTHER OPTION!"
Lance told him to calm down, and Keith wanted to punch him in the face. He was sure it would feel good, his knuckles connecting with Lance's jaw. He turned to see Shiro staring at him, disappointment written across his features.
Keith's heart fell.
He hated disappointing Shiro.
Before he could even open his mouth to apologize—for Shiro's sake, not Lance's—the giant screen before them opened up a comm channel and an electronic voice ordered them to identify themselves.
Keith watched as Shiro took command of the situation, getting them permission to send two Paladins into the base. Unarmed. Keith felt his gut wrench. He would leave his Bayard, no problem with that, but there was no way he would leave the knife behind.
Not when the knife could be the answer to everything.
Allura still wanted them to back out. Keith knew it was because of her distrust of all Galra, but it still annoyed him. It was everything he could do to keep his mouth shut. He didn't want to snap and face Shiro's disappointment. Not again.
They were given a path to the base, a safe way to navigate the force of the two black holes and blue star, but with an ultimatum—they only had a short time to be able to reach the base. Then, the path would close for two days. Keith wanted to be sick. This was almost too much.
Naturally, Lance had to get more annoying. "So, any thoughts on who's gonna join you on this little mission? I'm thinking things might get a little hot, so you're gonna want someone who can stay cool."
Shiro smiled, and it made Keith breathless. "You're right," Shiro said. "Keith, you're coming with me."
...
Shiro
Shiro was worried about Keith. To be fair, Shiro was always worried about Keith, but today he was… extra worried. Not only did the Red Paladin look distracted and terrified, but he had also blown up three times at the others. That was two more times than normal.
But of course, when Shiro asked, Keith claimed that everything was fine.
Shiro knew it wasn't. He could read Keith like a book, always had been able to. He knew what each crack in Keith's voice meant, each tightening of his fist, and each glare. Shiro knew and saw it all.
But he never said anything about it. At least, not directly. Instead, he hinted at the trust he put in Keith and instructed him as best he could. He hoped it would be enough.
...
Keith
When they finally land on the asteroid that housed the Blade of Marmora base, and were greeted by two Marmora agents, Blades, with their dark suits and familiar swords, Keith felt his nerves grow. His own blade was stashed beneath his armor, perfectly hidden and out of sight.
Yet it was distracting, pushing into his lower back like a constant, searing reminder of something in Keith's past that he just couldn't place. It infuriated him.
Shiro and Keith were brought into what looked to be a throne room, Blades lining the sides and a raised platform at the back with a solitary figure standing upon it. "I am Kolivan, leader of the Blade of Marmora," the figure said, his voice thick and commanding.
When Kolivan spoke, Keith knew that this would be where he found answers. He could feel it in his gut, despite the nearly cold way Kolivan spoke to them.
"You were told to come unarmed," the Marmora leader said harshly.
Keith's blood ran cold. There was no way they knew about the knife hidden in his armor. They couldn't. "You also told us to identify ourselves. The lions are about as close as we come to an ID," Keith said, swallowing hard, praying Kolivan was talking about the Red Lion above them, sitting on the surface of the asteroid.
But it couldn't be that easy. Kolivan sneered. "I wasn't referring to your beast."
If Keith's blood ran cold before, now it had turned to ice. He couldn't react as he was suddenly attacked and pinned by a Blade. Pain flared through his shoulder, knee, and back—he didn't know how, but he had been brought to the ground in an instant. He could hear Shiro calling out in alarm.
He could also hear as his knife was pulled from his armor and revealed to everyone present.
"He has one of our blades!" snarled the agent who had pinned Keith. "Who did you steal this from?"
Panic stricken, Keith shook his head. "I didn't! I've had it all my life!"
They didn't believe him. Of course they didn't believe him. Keith wanted to scream, he nearly did scream, but he held himself back.
...
Shiro
It hurt him to see Keith held down, looking so broken and desperate. He wanted to scoop him up, cradle him in his arms and take him somewhere safe. But he didn't dare. The best he could manage was reason. "Come on, Keith, we're leaving."
"Not without some answers," Keith shot back, looking up at Kolivan and away from Shiro. "Somehow, one of your knives ended up with me on planet Earth. Tell me how."
Kolivan stared down at him. "Your friend is right. It is time for you to go."
Friend. Shiro inhaled, then shook the thought from his head. He had more pressing matters to think of.
"Where did it come from?" Keith asked in return. Shiro wished he could take away all of the pain that was written on Keith's face. "I have to know."
"You seek knowledge? There is only one way to attain knowledge here."
Shiro's heart fell. He knew Keith. He knew Keith would not back down.
"HOW?" Keith cried desperately. "I'll do it!"
Kolivan sneered. "The Trials of Marmora. Should you survive, you may keep the blade, and its secrets will be revealed."
"Survive?" Shiro cut in. Everything had gone so wrong so fast. "Keith, this is crazy. If they're not going to help us, let's get out of here."
Keith wouldn't budge. Even as Shiro spoke, he knew Keith would want to stay. He was stubborn, more stubborn than anyone else Shiro had met.
Shiro felt himself slowly giving in, a feeling of unease settling over him like a thick fog.
...
Keith
"These trials result in one of two things: knowledge, or death." Kolivan's words echoed through Keith's mind as he was taken into a side room and given his blade and a suit to wear. It was like the other agents' suits, black with glowing purple accents. Form fitting. Surprisingly comfortable. Wearing it felt right.
The thought struck him like a blow to the stomach, leaving him breathless. How could something like this feel right? He had Voltron. He had Shiro.
"Or do you?" he whispered to himself. He felt childish. Shiro was his commanding officer. Nothing more. He knew he had to remember that.
Slowly, he stepped up to the door he was supposed to go through. As it slid open, he took a careful breath. "Patience yields focus," he murmured.
...
Shiro
Shiro was taken into a secure room lined with screens. He could see Keith as he stepped into the empty room, and, even though he wasn't physically anywhere near Keith, he could practically feel the desperation seeping off of the Red Paladin.
"You can do this," Shiro muttered under his breath, crossing then quickly uncrossing his arms.
He watched, helpless, as a hatch opened in the ground. Up rose a Blade. They drew their sword and pointed it at Keith. "Surrender the blade. You cannot win."
Keith growled and attacked.
Normally, watching Keith fight was a treat for Shiro. While he had taught Keith how to fight years and years ago, there was something about his form that Shiro hadn't taught him. A graceful fluidity which each step, careful precision with each kick. His knife technique was nearly perfect as he switched positions and jabbed with just the right amount of force.
But it wasn't enough, and Shiro knew it. The Blades of Marmora were all too good. He had seen it before with Ulaz, and he was watching it then as Keith fought.
Where Keith had precision, practice, and natural talent, but the Blades had just as much precision, more practice, more height, more speed, more talent. They were better.
Shiro wanted to cry out as Keith screamed in pain, a deep wound carved into his shoulder in a flash. Shiro wanted to yell at all of them to make this stop as Keith continued to fight.
But he knew it would do no good. "Come on, Keith," Shiro nearly begged, wanting to look away, but unable to.
In mere moments, Keith had been disarmed and held in an unbalanced position, a sword at his throat. "Surrender the blade and the pain will cease," the Blade said.
"Surrender the knife, Keith," Shiro begged under his breath.
Even with a sword held up against his throat, pressing against his skin, Keith remained resolute. "I won't quit."
"Then the pain continues," the Blade responded.
...
Keith
Keith closed his eyes, waiting for the blow. Knowledge or death. Since he had lost, he expected death. He was surprised when the Blade dropped him and stepped back, leaving him gasping on all fours. Bleeding, but alive. Suppressing a wince, Keith grabbed his knife, pushed to his feet, and stared at the Blade.
"You are not meant to go through that door," said the Blade, stepping aside to reveal a door on the other side of the room. Keith stared at the door for a brief moment, then took off at a run.
In the next room, two Blades rose from the ground and a new fight began.
...
Shiro
Shiro could barely make himself watch as Keith evaded, blocked, and took hits from the two Blades. "This is not a fair fight!" he said, his eyes flashing and jaw tight. He wanted to attack the man beside him, get him to stop what was happening.
But he knew that would only end up hurting Keith more in the end.
...
Keith
"Surrender the blade and the pain will cease."
Keith was on his knees. Everything hurt, but he was still alive. "NEVER!"
The two Blades both stepped back. "You are not meant to go through that door."
Keith got up, though couldn't seem to manage standing up straight. With a determined yell, he pushed off and ran into the next room.
Three Blades awaited him.
...
Shiro
He watched for hours. Or, at least, what felt like hours. Keith could no longer manage words, just desperate yells and grunts as he got knocked down again and again, his borrowed uniform now soaked with blood.
He just wished it would end.
...
Keith
When six Blades rose from the ground, Keith let out a guttural scream and attacked.
He couldn't give up now.
...
Shiro
There were seven Blades rising from the ground. "How long does this go on?" he asked, the fear had bled from his voice, leaving only anger.
Kolivan seemed disinterested. "Sometimes, the greatest challenge is knowing when to stop."
"He'll never quit."
"One way or another, this will end," Kolivan said with a subtle shake of his head. "Knowledge or Death."
...
Keith
There were seven Blades now, all rising from the ground, each a better soldier than Keith.
"Patience yields focus," Keith breathed to himself, though his voice went unheard, even by the mics and cameras placed in the room. He gripped his wounded shoulder, vision dark around the edges.
He knew this fight would go just as poorly as all of the previous ones. He would be beaten and bloodied, and he would keep attacking, even if it killed him.
But then a thought struck him. "You are not meant to go through that door," he murmured, eyes flickering to the door at the end of the room.
Then his eyes were drawn back to the Blades as they each drew their weapons. This would be his last fight. He knew it.
His breathing was shaky, but he still managed a battle cry, more like a battle grunt, as he ran forward. He reared his right arm back, then flung it forward, releasing his knife at the apex of his swing. The knife soared forward, then sank into a hatch that a Blade had just emerged from, blocking it from shutting.
Then he dodged a swing, kicking his left leg out into the nearest Blade's ribcage. He dodged another blow. He kicked again, swiveling his body as he pulled his leg back. He leaned over as he continued running forward, tackling a Blade around their waist, only to be thrown off and tossed to the side.
It didn't matter; he was thrown in the right direction. After falling to the ground, and rolling out of it to keep his momentum, he grabbed his knife and jumped through the hatch before it could close.
...
Shiro
Shiro was breathless as he watched Keith stagger into a new room. He saw Keith's lips move, but couldn't make out what he was saying.
And he watched as Keith collapsed to the ground.
...
Keith
Keith could barely see anything. His vision was so doubled and blurry that he didn't even notice when a figure stopped in front of him.
"You did it, Keith," Shiro said, and Keith forced himself to focus. Standing above him, offering a hand out, was Shiro.
His Shiro. Keith swallowed thickly and let Shiro pull him back to his feet, trying not to grimace when Shiro pulled at his injured arm.
"Kolivan told me you lasted longer than anyone ever has in those battles," Shiro said, supporting Keith as he spoke, his touch as gentle as his voice. "You don't have to keep this up."
Keith frowned, looking up at Shiro with a wince. "What are you talking about?" he asked. He was trembling, exhausted and feeling broken. But he would never give up.
"Just give them the knife, and let's get out of here," Shiro said, giving Keith a soft smile. Keith was about to argue when Shiro raised a hand and stroked down the side of his face with the back of his knuckles. "I'm so proud of you."
...
Shiro
He was breathless, watching the screen before him showing Keith leaning on… Shiro. "Is that a hologram?" he asked, his voice thick. This version of himself was holding Keith so carefully—so lovingly. This version of himself was holding Keith exactly how the real version had always wanted to.
"His suit has the ability to create a virtual mindscape, reflecting its wearer's greatest hopes and fears," Kolivan explained. "And, at this moment, your friend desperately wants to see you."
...
Keith
He let the projection of Shiro wrap him in an embrace, thinking he was real. This was what he always had wanted. He fully believed this was real.
"Why do you care about that knife so much?" Shiro asked, cupping the back of Keith's head and holding him to his chest.
Keith hesitantly slid his arms around Shiro's waist. "It's the only connection I have to my past. It's my chance to learn who I really am," Keith whispered, his body trembling. He was so tired.
"You're a Paladin of Voltron, Keith. That's who you are. We are your family," Shiro said, his voice oh so soothing. "I am your family. Let's go back, Keith. Give up this fight, and let me love you."
Keith froze, his heart pounding so fiercely, he thought he might fall over. "L-Love?" he questioned, pulling back just enough to look at Shiro. Or, more, the virtual version of Shiro that reflected his own desires. "What do you mean? How could you love me?"
"I do," Shiro confirmed, shifting to cup his cheek. "Just look at you—how could I not be in love with you?"
Keith's lips parted, as if to respond, but he couldn't manage. Tears began spilling down his cheeks, and Shiro wiped them away with gentle hands. "Give them the knife, and you and I can go home, talk us through."
"I want to, Shiro. I love you too. But I can't," Keith said, before he could stop himself. He grimaced as he said it, knowing that this might possibly ruin his chances of ever being with Shiro. His heart fell even further when Shiro stepped back, his face twisting in anger.
"Just give up the knife, Keith!" Shiro said, just short of yelling. "You're only thinking of yourself, as usual!"
Keith's eyes widened, and he wrapped his arms around his stomach to hide the trembling in his hands. He turned his gaze away.
Shiro, who just recently represented all of Keith's hopes, quickly twisted into his greatest fear. "You've chosen to be alone," Shiro said, lowering his voice. Without another word, he turned on his heel and stalked away.
Keith stared at the knife for a moment, then looked up at Shiro's retreating figure. "Shiro wait!" he cried out, taking a step forward. But he could no longer hold his own weight. He crumpled to the floor, unconscious.
...
Shiro
"He needs me," Shiro growled, turning to face Kolivan. "Let me in there."
Kolivan stayed rooted in place, arms calmly clasped behind him. "This is his battle, not yours," he replied.
Shiro gritted his teeth. "Keith is my battle!"
...
Keith
When Keith opened his eyes, he was in his childhood home. Everything was just as he remembered, and he frowned. When had he gotten back to Earth?
A loud crash rattled the ground, and Keith's frown deepened. He shifted to go outside and check on whatever was happening, when a voice called his name. A voice he hadn't heard in a very, very long time.
Keith turned around and let out a soft sob. "Dad?" he breathed, trembling.
"You're home, son," his dad responded, giving him a smile. The ground trembled again. Someone yelled in the distance. As if reading his mind, Keith's dad shook his head. "Don't worry about that. We'll be fine as long as we stay in here. Don't you want to catch up?"
Keith frowned, wiping at his cheeks, before a third crash shook the Earth.
"Everything's fine," his dad said.
Keith wanted to believe him. He really did, but he couldn't. Without a word, he ran to the nearest window and threw open the curtains. Outside, a battle raged. Multiple Galra warships fired against Garrison machinery. Four Lions darted around the sky, fighting a losing battle.
The Red Lion sat just outside Keith's old home, waiting patiently for him. Inactive.
He had to go. He had to help his team. He had to help everyone on Earth.
His dad held up Keith's knife, smiling serenely. "Don't you wanna know about where you came from? Your mother gave it to me."
Keith froze. The sounds of the battle came closer. He could hear people screaming, begging for help. The serene smile on his dad's face grew into a knowing smirk. "She'll be here soon."
...
Shiro
"You need to get him out of there," Shiro cried desperately, getting increasingly more… frustrated? Angry? Terrified? He wasn't sure what it was. All he knew was that a myriad of emotions gripped at his throat, making it hard to breathe.
Kolivan didn't seem bothered. He simply watched as Keith writhed upon the ground, as if having a horrible nightmare. "He can decide when to leave."
Shiro let out an angered sound. "You're messing with his mind. You're going to kill him!"
"Knowledge or death, Shiro."
"No!" Shiro yelled, turning to leave the room. He needed to intervene. He had to get Keith out of there. He was stopped from leaving as two Blades grabbed his arms and pulled him back to Kolivan.
...
Keith
"You gotta tell me, Dad. I have to know. Where did the knife come from? What does it mean?" The questions flew from his mouth in desperation. His feet were rooted to the spot, though his eyes kept flickering from the window and the carnage outside to his dad.
"Your mother is almost here. She'll tell you everything."
Keith wanted to know so bad, but then he heard a scream. Shiro's scream. Keith pushed back tears and ran to the door.
"If you go out that door, you'll never find out who you are," his dad cut in, making him freeze.
He wasn't still for long. It was no longer an option. He took a shaky breath, opened the door, and stepped into the blinding light.
...
Shiro
The ground shook, and a Blade burst through the door into the surveillance room. "The Red Lion is attacking the base," the Blade yelled in distress.
Shiro nearly growled. "It has a link with Keith. It knows when he's in danger. It's coming for him," he said, his voice a dangerous warning. He knew it was time to act. When the ground shook again, Shiro elbowed one of the Blade's who held him, and tugged himself free of the other's grip, using their instability to push them away.
Then he took off running for the room Keith was in, a handful of Blades chasing after him.
He bursted into the room where Keith was still lying unconscious, and his jaw tightened. He didn't let himself falter as he ran to Keith's side and shook him awake, barely waiting to see his eyes open before he was pulling him to his feet.
"Stop what you are doing!" Kolivan shouted as he entered the room.
Shiro growled, holding Keith with his human arm and activating his weaponized metal arm. Keith groaned, but managed to raise his knife.
"Call of your beast!"
Keith frowned, opening his mouth to ask what was going on, but Shiro didn't give him time to speak. "Get out of the way," the Black Paladin growled. "We're leaving."
...
Keith
Keith's grip on his knife tightened. He wasn't sure what was going on, or if this was even real. But Shiro, holding him upright with a firm grip… Shiro felt real.
"You're not leaving with that blade. It does not belong to you. You failed to awaken it!" Kolivan said, his voice hard.
Keith shook his head. "I don't even know what that means," he said, though he wondered if that was really true. There was a feeling in his chest that he couldn't describe.
The Blade nearest them snarled. "Give up the blade!" they cried as they swung for an attack. Keith felt helpless as Shiro pushed him to the side and out of danger. Then Shiro let out a battle cry that sounded too much like the scream Keith had heard earlier.
"Wait!" Keith cried, holding his hands up. Everyone in the room froze. "Just take the knife!"
Shiro turned to face him, lowering his weaponized prosthetic, and all of the surrounding Blades let their swords point down. Keith swallowed and held out his knife, hilt first, to the nearest Blade.
He looked at Shiro. "It doesn't matter where I come from. I know who I am," Keith said before clearing his throat and looking at the group around him. "We all need to work together to defeat Zarkon. And if that means I give up this knife, fine. Take it."
...
Shiro
Nothing had gone as Shiro thought it would. They had gone to the Blade of Marmora base in search of allies, and they had gained allies, but that wasn't all.
"I'm half Galra," Keith whispered, looking down at his newly awoken blade. He had been patched up, and had changed back into his Paladin armor, but he still looked tired and scared. He turned the sword over in trembling hands, and Shiro frowned.
"This doesn't change anything," Shiro said, knowing that particular fear was running through Keith's mind. "You're our Keith, always have been."
Keith looked up with watery eyes, and Shiro's heart tightened. "You're my Keith," Shiro whispered after a moment. "Always have been."
Without another word, Keith deactivated the blade, returning it to its knife form, and stashed it in his armor. He then stepped close to Shiro and snaked his arms around his waist, burying his face in his chest.
Shiro held him tight and closed his eyes. "I love you too," he breathed, feeling Keith's arms tensing around him. "You said you loved me during the trials, and I just… need you to know. I love you too."