(A/N: Ooops, I did it again! I know I promised the last was the last super long one, but I had to get through this with one last push and well … it ended up being about 1,000 words longer than I planned … the struggle is real, I swear. But it really will be the last hefty read for a bit, I hope. I feel like it's worth it and I hope you do too. And look, at the very end a wild Steve appears … aww… Steve … I'm so crushingly in love with Steve it's like a cruel joke he's not actually real. But anyways, I digress. I tried something a little crafty with this one to make it a little less boring and hopefully it worked. I hope it nothing about the before or after feels too rushed, clunky or awkward. I feel okay about it but I'd love any feedback you have. Anything in this chapter (and elsewhere from now on) in italics should be read as a flashback or a memory. With that, on with the show. I have to get to bed, but I just wanna say again, thank you for all your continued support! I am looking forward this weekend to reading what you guys have written when I have a spare second. I feel like I've been rude in not doing so, but know that it has been my intention, I've just been busy.)
Chapter Three: Fight or Flight – Part One
Lexie ripped through her apartment, full-fledged panic setting in once the door behind her was deadbolted and chained; as if it really would have mattered either way when it came right down to it. If he wanted in, he was getting in, a flimsy chain wouldn't stop him … even a top-of-the-line secondary lock wasn't going to stand much of a chance. It was little comfort to be closed inside but it was comfort enough for the time being. Blinds drawn; light dampened by the grip of dusk that had started to take hold outside the four walls that she put so much blind faith in to keep her safe at least for a few hours while she got her shit together … before she got the hell out of dodge … if she managed to get the hell out of dodge.
She'd let herself get too comfortable after all. Too lax, too woefully underprepared and too horrifically naïve to even have put together an escape plan for in case … in her most recent days, anyway. She was tired of coming up with escape plans and she was tired of looking over her shoulder; living in some kind of purgatory in which anything other than constantly looking over her shoulder and living life ready to up and leave at a moment's notice was the only "life" she would ever be permitted to allow herself. She was tired of living like life was about to go sideways at any minute. Five years of never really buying furniture from thrift shops and secondhand stores and shitty Craig's List adds so she didn't have to worry about writing off the expense of something nice, something pretty, something that made any lodging she found her way into a home and not just a place to rest her eyes. Five years of never putting down roots, constantly reminding herself to keep everyone she met at arm's length. Five years of month-to-month shit hole rentals. Five years of never having more than half a dozen outfits and a small collection of personal things … nothing that couldn't fit in a duffle bag to be packed in five minutes. Five years of having some stupid ass cheap backpack stuffed as full as she could get it and hidden under her floorboards for if and when she didn't even have five minutes. Five years of living like the fugitive she was, in more than just the clear cut and dry, and she'd stupidly given herself the luxury of believing it was all behind her.
Five years and she had gotten too comfortable, too lax, too naively optimistic … and now he had found her, and everything was reset right back to square one. The cycle was repeating and now she wasn't even remotely prepared.
He had found her, and everything had gone to shit.
She ripped through her apartment in a careless frenzy, damn near pulling cupboard doors out of walls and drawers out of their tracks; rummaging through closets and storage nooks leaving whirlwind of fall out in her wake looking for something, anything by which to pack light and fly under the radar with a few days provisions and a handful of precious belongings; anything by which she could take what she needed and leave the rest so as to keep herself alive long enough to find a new life … only to come up with nothing.
… not that she could even get it together enough to figure out what she would need to take with her and why. She was fried, running on instinct and adrenaline and it wasn't until she had ransacked every room in her once beloved home without even making a small stack on the counter that she realized she wasn't operating with a clear head. It wasn't until her legs gave out and she let herself slide to the cold tile floor of the bathroom, it wasn't until she fell to pieces and let the flood gates open and let the tears rush in that she realized that muscle memory would only get her so far. Operating in some sort of blind repetition, reliving a familiar scene she had had the misfortune of playing out more than once before was only going to get her killed, and rather swiftly at that.
He had found her. She had no idea what she was doing … not anymore.
She didn't even really know or remember how she'd managed to make her way home after fleeing that incredibly tall building and that meeting that had blown her world to pieces.
All she knew was he had found her, and with every move Fury's words were still ringing in her ears.
He had found her … and that was enough.
"When were they taken?!" Lexie's voice rose inadvertently, bouncing off the empty walls around her as her panic hit a fever pitch.
"I don't know … I can't tell you." Fury matched her edge, not so much out of similar irritation as much as a need to break through and bring her back down. "They're more recent then you'd like to believe … I can guarantee you that."
"Shit … shit!" She fought to keep herself in check and tried to force herself to ignore the surge of emotion so as to think clearly … only to find it rather pointless at no mistake. "I have to go … I-I-I have to … I have to leave."
"And you're free to … but if you think you're safer out there … "
"You don't understand."
"I do understand. You forget where you are if you don't think I know every goddamn thing there is to know about this sadistic asshole. What he did … what he's going to do. Where is it exactly you think you're going of you leave now? Baltimore? New York? Maybe Boston? I know you think you can throw him off your trail if you're quick enough … if you're smart enough … and maybe you can. You're resourceful … I'm sure you can find a way to make it work again. Maybe you can get your life back, hide out and keep him at bay for another five, seven, ten years if your lucky. But how lucky do you think you really are and what's gonna happen to you if that luck runs out … when that luck runs out?"
"I-I-I don't know … I-I—"
"Even I know about that cabin you've got tucked away all the way out there in the Catskills … your father's, right?" He flipped another photo put of her file, this one an aerial of a small plot of land with a small log home and a couple of out buildings surrounded by thick brush and towering trees … the perfect picturesque summer vacation … or a frenzied get away for when the shit hit the fan. "Nice place, by the way … quaint."
Slack jawed and wide eyed, Lexie was struck dumb, unable think and unable to formulate any sort of worthy response whatsoever.
"I told you … we've been getting to know you for a very, verylong time." Fury continued, reaching across his desk and clapping a hand over hers momentarily. "Take a breath … slow it down if you can. I need you to hear what I have to say, and I need you to really. . because you can't afford not to."
"Ok-okay … "
"The Weapon Plus Program does not have a good track record with their projects … their subjects, like you. Now, I could bore you with the details of the counter measures and the things we've tried to do to keep things in check, maybe even shut the whole thing down but we'd be here all day and like you said, you've gotta go … you don't have time … I might not either."
"Mm-hmm." She hummed and feigned some sort of chuckle that was more anxiety riddled than genuine; her mind still spinning a million miles a minute.
"I don't know how much you know, and I don't know if it comes as a shock or not, but you are one of very few outcomes that's been successful … beyond measure at that."
"I didn't ask to be … I didn't want anything to happen to … I can't help that. It's not my fault."
"I know, I know." Fury held up his hands, trying again to set her at ease a little and make sure she stayed on the same path. "But that doesn't change it … nothing can change that fact … nothing can undo it or take it away. Enhanced strength, enhanced agility and reflexes, enhanced regeneration … you're not the first and you won't be the last goddamn super-soldier, Lexie. But you throw in what you were born with … what that serum they shot you up with perfected in you and made ten times stronger … mimicry, telepathic melding … that extraction and transference … that makes you a damn near perfect weapon."
"I don't do that anymore … I-I haven't trained, I haven't practiced any of that for years."
"Do you think that matters? You think they care? You think your ol' pal Francis gives two shits about any of that?"
He had a point, as disheartening and as terrifying as it was.
"You got out … you made your way exactly how they planned you to only they didn't get a piece of the action and you can bet they want a return on their investment. Now, ol' Ajax here … he is either coming to kill you and take you out of the equation … or he's coming to reclaim you. Neither of those things are gonna be pretty."
"Damnit." Lexie spat under her breath, taking a time to realize the gravity of the situation and mulling over every possible outcome, each even less desirable than the last. " … fuck."
"Fuck is right … fuck is right. You can't run from this anymore … not really anyway and not for very much longer. The wolf is at your door … and he is not gonna play nice before he rips you to pieces."
"Yeah, so?" She cleared her throat and swiped at one solitary tear that managed to squeak out to betray her. "What's that got anything to do with you? Why do you care so goddamn much?"
"I don't know, to tell you the truth … maybe I've just got a feeling … maybe we can help each other out." He shrugged. "I work with a very special group of very special people and I think just maybe you'd make an exceptional addition. That's why I asked you here to talk and that's why I'm hoping maybe you've listened to everything I've told you and everything I'm about to tell you. Maybe I'm hoping you'll let it sink and that you'll think about it for a little longer than five seconds before you cut off your nose to spite your face."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because I know for damn sure your life depends on it. Because maybe, just maybe, there's a very real chance mine might too." The tone of the conversation shifted a little more dire and along with it the expression wrought upon Fury's face. "Take your pick. I can't predict the future but what I can do is tell you things are happening … things are in play and wheels are turning that I don't know can be stopped. Now, I don't know just what and just when … and I sure as shit don't know how long we can stay on top of it, how long we'll have the upper hand. You and I both know there's much nastier people in the world than just the assholes that weaponized a sixteen-year-old girl, slapped a control collar on her, drugged her to high heaven and meant to make her a slave for the highest bidder. You might not think anything can be worse than that, but I'm telling you it can. I'm telling your it will and when it does … I'm telling you won't like it one damn bit."
"Negative." Lexie shook her head dismissively; knee-jerking into unimpressed wit. "That's very glass half empty, Mr. Fury. Has no one ever taught you the power of positive thinking?"
"I'm a realist."
"Yeah. So am I … and as a fucking realist, I'm telling you that I'm not interested."
"Not even to do some good? To be on the right side and make some amends?" He countered, pulling at threads of guilt and whatever internal demons lingered not so very dormant within her. "You sleep okay at night?"
"I sleep just fine."
"Sure you do … for now." A note of skepticism painted his voice. "You think that's gonna hold up much longer?"
"If you think a thinly veiled threat is gonna change anything … if you think it's gonna change my mind—"
"It's not a threat … it's a warning. Maybe even a worst-case scenario, a promise. Your homeboy setting up shop in your shadow … that's a threat." With a sigh he leaned back in his chair, relenting, feigning a brief air of defeat. "But I'm not here to coerce you. I don't wanna make you agree to anything you don't want to … I'm just laying it all on the line … letting you know so you can do what you got to so you can save your own ass. You shoot me down and walk outta here today without a backward glance, that's your choice. I can't help you much if you do. I can send a security detail to keep an eye on you for a few days … maybe make sure you get outta town alright. But after that you'll be on your own. I'm sure you can withstand what's coming for a little while … but no one lives long enough to fly solo forever."
He wasn't wrong … Lexie begrudgingly admitted that. She would have had to have been a fool to think otherwise. There was strength in numbers, there was no questioning that, and she was very much on her own and she would very much be running scared the second she left, but that was her own business. Until proven otherwise, anything Fury glossed over with speculative warnings were little else than fear-mongering to Lexie. And fear-mongering, no matter which side it was thrown at her from, fear-mongering was little more to her than just a cheap way to gain a pawn for a much larger game. And it was a game she had been out of for so long, she didn't know if she wanted to let alone need to throw herself back into full force. She didn't know if that was a path, whether for good or otherwise, she was willing to walk down.
… but all the same, he had a point … again.
" I'm not a perfect weapon, believe me, I'm not. You say they made me a super-soldier; they say they made me a super-slave. I lived it … so I'm inclined to go along with the later."
"That's unfortunate."
" I'm not an asset and I don't have anything to offer you. I told you, I don't do that anymore so you can save what's left of your breath. I've heard it all before."
"So you think."
"So I know." Lexie retorted gruffly. "I'm not some perfect soldier. I'm barely anything anymore actually, and in all honesty I probably couldn't even fight my way blindfolded out of a paper bag at the moment. Maybe you would have been able to change my mind ten years ago, I don't know. I didn't ask questions then … and now I don't just jump because someone tells me to fucking jump. I've been bought all my goddamn life … I don't wanna be bought anymore."
"I can respect that. I understand that … I know how you must feel. But if I'm right, and I hope to God I'm not, all these nasty ass people … they're in bed together and that's not something you or I or anyone else is gonna endure if we don't do something about it. You're on your own … that's not gonna work. If you're not with them, you're against them and if you're against them, they're not gonna hesitate."
Lexie sighed herself and turned her gaze skyward, shaking her head in disbelief that she was being tested and being put in such a godawful spot.
If there was textbook definition for "between a rock and a hard place" this would have been it.
"Think about it." Fury bid her again, this time a little more gently. "Please."
She chewed her lip and bounced her leg and fought with herself three ways from Sunday. Giving in was not her strong point and even thought she knew considering his offer wasn't actually doing so, it didn't mean that it felt any different.
"And if I do? What then?"
"I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it." It wasn't a lot she had given him, but it was a start. "Just so you know, though … anything you so happen to need, I can provide."
"It's not about that."
"I know … it's just an offer."
Light years of progress suddenly made in about ten seconds. For the first time since they had sat down to chat, Fury was encouraged by the way she finally allowed her gaze to drop to the folder spread wide now on his desk; staring at it intently, contemplatively as if it were the final lynch pin that pulled it all together.
"Can you make that all go away?" She asked quietly. "If I say yes, I mean. If I accept your offer, can you give me a clean slate? Burn it, shred it, mix up some computer virus that washes all of this away so I can at least pretend I have a normal life … that I had a normal life?"
"I'll see what I can do. It'll take a lot and I don't like making promises I can't keep … but I'll see what I can do."
Nodding to herself, an exasperated sigh passed Lexie's lips and she relented; reminding herself that there was no one and nothing that could keep her from changing her mind and that she likely would do just that 25 times before it was all said and done.
She relented and gave him what he wanted … she'd consider it. Not because she wanted to, not in the slightest. But everything he'd laid before her told her she would be stupid not to … everything he'd laid before her told her she had to … no matter how much she hated it.
It could very well be her best shot at making it out the other side.
It could very well be her only chance to make it out the other side with something of a life left and something of a life worth looking forward to.
"Well I guess then, Mr. Fury, you'd better get to work."
"Is that a yes?" He pressed his luck and tried to get a full out commitment on the spot.
"It's a maybe." She smiled softly. "I don't like making promises I can't keep either … but I can promise you I'll think about it."
"I'll take it." A wave of relief washed over him as he set to collecting everything he had spread out in front of her to tuck back in his desk under lock and key should he so have to deliver what Lexie bid him. "I can give you 48 hours … sooner would be better."
"I'll be in touch." She pulled herself to her feet and tried to shake the heavy grip of apprehension and a fresh wave of anxiety as she made to take her leave. "In the meantime …"
"Stay safe out there."
"Fingers crossed."
Another curt smile and she turned; heels striking out stiletto notes against the floor and punctuating the silence left in her wake. The easy part was over … it was the rest that would be difficult, and Lexie more or less was counting every microsecond until she was out of his office, out of the building and left to her own devices to work everything through eight million times and fall straight to pieces if that's what it took to get everything squared away.
"Ms. Lockhart … " Fury called after her one last time just to impart a few lingering words of wisdom that he hoped would click and set in her brain. "Wiping that file clean, that won't change the past … that's not gonna chase those demons away and keep them from tapdancing through your head at 3 A.M. … that's all on you."
"I know." She froze in her tracks just long enough to throw sad glance back over her shoulder, voice flooding with emotion pricking at the corners of her eyes. "Believe me … I know."
She turned again and Hurried footsteps carried her closer to her escape. There never was a time to break, really. But she could feel it barreling down that tracks and if she didn't get out of the office, and out of the building for that matter, it would hit her like a ton of bricks and she would little more than a simpering, quivering, sobbing, weak ass mess huddled on the floor for all the world to see. She would rather have been cut from ear to ear, bleeding out for all the world to see.
Lexie didn't see Steve loitering in the doorway, having been stood there just long enough to hear the last few minutes of a somewhat tense exchange but not quite long enough to get a strong grasp of the situation. Without even an upward glance she didn't take notice of him towering, still clad in full gear and fresh off his mission, almost directly in her path. Not that she would have cared even if she had. Maybe on another day, in a different state of mind, Lexie would have been more delicate, more graceful, more considerate on exit and would have sidestepped and breezed by him instead of not giving a shit and blind barreling through without a second thought and only the most insincere apology. Maybe on another day, she would have even allowed herself a pause to appreciate the sight of him; statuesque and perfect … like some blonde-haired blue-eyed god set straight in her path as if almost on purpose.
Maybe on any other day, she would have avoided a straight blind collision without much as the briefest or most insincere apology tossed over her shoulder before storming down the hallway.
Maybe any other day she would have been full of better first impressions.
Maybe any other day, but not that day. That day she had other things she had to think about … and none of them sparked the slightest bit of enjoyment.
Lexie didn't even really know or remember how she'd managed to make her way home after fleeing that incredibly tall building and that meeting that had blown her world to pieces.
All she knew was he had found her, and with every move Fury's words were still ringing in her ears.
He had found her … and that was enough.
There, on the cold tile floor of the one-bedroom apartment that now felt more like a prison cell than a home … Lexie had a decision to make.