Warnings: Unplanned Pregnancy, Pon Farr, Dubious Consent, Miscarriage, Medical Trauma, Pregnancy, Discussion of Abortion
Notes: This is was an idea for a small fic that ballooned into ~25k words. I've always wondered how Saavik dealt with the consequences of Spock pon farr and David's death. The novelizations of the films and interviews with the film creators reference a relationship between David Marcus and Saavik and the possibility that Saavik is pregnant with Spock child's (hence why she did not return to earth on the Bounty).
This fic heavily references Carolyn Clowes's The Pandora Principle for Saavik's background and heritage. The character Salok comes from that novel.
Daniel Corrigan, Sorel, and T'Mir are creations of Jean Lorrah from her novels The IDIC Epidemic and The Vulcan Academy Murders
Spock (and Sarek's) last name "S'chn T'gai" comes from Barbara Hambly's novel Ishmael to my knowledge.
Final notes on serious topics: this author is very pro-choice regarding women's body autonomy. The fic deals heavily in the topics of abortion and miscarriage. Please do not read or engage if you aren't comfortable with these topics. There's also a short reference to "grooming" in the sense of an adult grooming a child to accept abuse; specifically I state that Spock did NOT do this to Saavik when she was his student.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
The cool white stone blended seamlessly with synthetic building materials in the most advanced hospital in Shi'Kahr. Even damaged stone tiles were repaired or replaced with a matching material; it was deemed to be kinder to the planet than to continue to mine for the appropriate stone. And if you looked very carefully, you could determine where natural metamorphic rock ended and artificial material started.
Saavik determined that this exam room had six completely synthetic tiles and a further eleven stone tiles that were repaired and enhanced with synthetic material.
Loathing was an emotion, but she had never been able to suppress the pure loathing she felt for medical exams. A savage, small voice in her head whispered cruel words: I hate you, I will hurt you if you touch me again. Allowing her ordered, logical side to experience shame was the only method she had to quiet the blood thirst.
The logic in forcing her to endure rounds of exams was lost on her since she was an active Starfleet officer. She received physicals on a regular schedule and each time she transferred ships. "If I may remind you, my last thorough physical was 4.2 standard months ago. It is an inefficient use of this hospital's resources to administer another in the short time that has elapsed." She immediately shut down the nagging guilt about her neglecting to disclose the aching in her back and hips. It was likely minor, perhaps a result of travelling in a ship designed for Klingon ergonomics.
The healer who had conducted much of the exam frowned a fraction. She was hardly older than Saavik who was barely out of Starfleet Academy herself. "There is no logic in repeating information which you have stated before. Twice."
Saavik pursed her lips and adjusted the white airy patient robe around her shoulders. The second healer in the room was a bent man, extremely old even for a Vulcan. He chuckled, and Saavik could not refrain from staring at him. "You must forgive Healer T'Pela, Saavik. She agreed that this would be a waste of our resources when a short round of scans and a few passes of a dermal regenerator are all that she believed necessary."
"Then you have ordered these extensive tests and examinations, Healer Salok?" Old man, I could cut you down with a single movement of my hand.
"You are a medical novelty. I am indulging my scientific curiosity." The healer raised an eyebrow as Saavik's eyes gleamed with a furious light. She was successful in subduing further expressions of her anger and indignancy. "T'Pela, you have permission to leave and resume your examination of other patients."
The young healer vacated the room quickly and without argument.
"Your turmoil is clouding your logic, young one. You had your medical records sealed, citing the privacy act?" Saavik nodded, and the old man could see the pieces already connecting in her head. "That applies to Vulcan's records as well, as you begin to understand. T'Pela wished to respect your privacy and do only as much as is required to heal your superficial wounds. But I had two arguments for further examination. And a third has arisen."
"The Romulan blood," she realized. Salok noticed she used the article "the" rather than possessive "my."
"Only fifteen children from Hellguard survived into adulthood, and you are the only one I have not been able to meet since you were initially rescued." Upon hearing the name of that cursed planet, Saavik flinched.
"You were there? As part of the retrieval mission?" Saavik did her best to control the hitching of her words. A cold tightness had gripped her, and she suddenly felt overwhelming nausea. Kill, run, hide.
Rather than reaching for a hypospray, Salok clamped a bracelet on each of Saavik's wrists and activated them when her skin paled. The bracelets chilled to almost freezing immediately, providing relief to Saavik's unease. "I was there on that regrettable mission. And I remember a fierce tiny warrior stealing her way around our campsite. It is an honor to meet you again and to confirm that you have grown into such an admirable Vulcan citizen."
"I have never been to Vulcan before now," she whispered. She wasn't sure why she chose that statement; she was overwhelmed by his kind, unearned esteem.
Salok gave her a moment to gather herself before pressing on. "Because your medical history is sealed, it is necessary to carefully examine your test results to be certain that they are within acceptable parameters. What was my second reason, Saavik?"
Her large eyes grew wider as she worked it out. "I was on the Genesis Planet." He nodded. "But, sir, that information is classified. How-" She swallowed as a wave of nausea hit her again. Salok added a cooling pack to the back of her neck.
"It was deemed necessary to inform a limited team of healers about your recent feats."
"I am not certain Admiral Kirk has that authority." She closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing deeply.
"He does. But it was Admiral Sarek who made the decision."
Sarek. Saavik had never met Spock's infamous father beyond the singular salute they had exchanged at the fal-tor-pan, and she was not certain that she wished for that to change. "It is logical that I should be examined. Besides Spock," she swallowed audibly, "I am the remaining living specimen who has resided on the planet the longest." The other would have been David Marcus.
David is dead.
She vomited into a basin that Salok was able to retrieve in time to avoid an unfortunate mess. The old healer was kind enough to refrain from comment or even soothing words; he merely waited in silence as she gathered herself.
"My apologies," she croaked after consuming an entire glass of water in one breath.
"Apologizing for a situation out of your control is illogical. We do not yet fully understand what effects that your time on the Genesis planet may have on you. Further analysis will be required by continuing to examine you at regular intervals."
"Unfortunately my time on Vulcan is limited. I will be returning to Earth with Admiral Kirk's crew upon their departure."
"That is not possible," Salok said, almost softly.
"Starfleet will require my presence. I will be reassigned to another project or vessel."
"That decision is no longer for Starfleet to make. The Vulcan council will override their orders."
Saavik stared at Salok, uncomprehending. "How is that possible? Why would the council do this?" Has Vulcan just been waiting for me to arrive just to imprison me? Now I'm they're lab rat, no different than my Romulan captors? Am I being discharged from Starfleet for my association with Admiral Kirk? All the years of hard work she and Spock had put into civilizing her and getting her through Starfleet… she felt it all slipping through her grasp like water. I will escape; you cannot hold me, nobody can!
"I mentioned a third cause to examine you closely. One effect of your time on Genesis is understood. Do I understand that Spock experienced rapid aging upon his regeneration? He did reach an age approximating 21 to 28 years?"
"Yes, and beyond. Accelerated aging. You believe my lifespan has been shortened?" The information affected her less that it might have. She had faced death many times over, and she had always suspected she would never live long enough to grow old. Even if her hazardous choice of occupation would allow it, her struggle through abuse and malnutrition in the first years of her life was always going to have an effect.
"That is possible, yes. But I am referring to another condition. One that involves Spock. He is alive. His body survived the fires, possibly multiple times."
Saavik was reluctant to admit just how many times in a short span his body experienced pon farr. This conversation was becoming impossible to endure.
"Yes. But he… survived."
"With help?" Salok did not press Saavik; his suspicions were confirmed by her shamed expression and shrinking form. He was known as a gentle man, possessing a wealth of tact and patience. It was one reason he was so successful at treating children.
But sometimes simple, blunt facts were all that would suffice. "Saavik, you are pregnant."
"That is logical." That was all she could mutter before she vomited into the basin again.