"My wife, you have a secret."
"I am a woman of many secrets." Sitting at her vanity, Amanda dodged Sarek's statement and continued to brush her long white hair in preparation for bed.
"Few of which you now keep from me, and none of which you have ever successfully kept from me for an extended period." He turned down the thin linen blanket on her side of the bed, then moved around to activate the warming mattress pad on his side. He stripped down and situated himself among the plush bedclothes.
Amanda soon joined him, though she wore a gossamer pajama set, eschewing nudity in case she was needed by one of the house guests. "And what do you imagine I'm hiding from you?" She knew it was futile to keep anything from Sarek as he would be able to pick up her stray thoughts through their bond. She had only avoided revealing the details out of respect for Saavik's privacy.
"It is about our son. Please, I would have there be nothing untold between us, and I cannot shed my worry for Spock's wellbeing," he said, turning in his side to face her.
Even without their close psychic bond, Amanda would have been able to pick up on Sarek's anxiety. He had succeeded remarkably at suppressing his outward fear, frustration, and worry while the healers were present, but the force of those emotions was preventing him from achieving total control. "Computer, lights." She found these conversations to be easier in the dark.
"I was waiting to see how tonight went before telling you, husband. It's a matter between Saavik and Spock, and I was hoping they could discuss it and come up with a plan."
"I suspect this night did not end the way you had hoped."
Amanda sighed. "Not at all. Spock's rapid aging on the Genesis planet, forcing him through childhood all the way to adulthood…" She paused, unsure of how to proceed. The Vulcan taboo around pon farr was so extreme that Sarek often had difficulty talking about his own fever, even to his wife.
Fortunately, Sarek had lived among humans long enough to gain an appreciation for their ability to make leaps in logic. Her tendency to "skip steps" during predictive reasoning had rubbed off on him.
"Saavik was the only female available to him," he stated into the dark.
"I'm surprised it was 'the female' he was drawn to, really."
"She was the only Vulcan." A stricken expression crossed his face, unseen. "Do you know whether she entered the situation willingly?"
Amanda found Sarek's hand and pulled it to her chest, gripping it in both of her smaller, fine-boned hands. He squeezed her fingers gently. "She did, husband. She recognized what was happening, and guided him through it. In fact, she's struggling with the idea that she took advantage of him in an uninformed, vulnerable state."
He was quick to respond. "She saved his life. He certainly would have perished without her making that decision for him."
"Nonetheless, it's a gray area. She was in an impossible situation, and did the best she could, but that doesn't mean she's proud of it."
"I am grateful to her but regret that she was forced to make such a decision. Spock has stated that he clearly remembers most of his time on Genesis."
"And that's what makes it all the more difficult for her. He remembers the Fever but he still hasn't been able to access memories of her from before. She's suffering this alone."
"The most logical course of action would be to have her spend as much time here as possible to help repair those memory engrams. She deserves to regain a place his life."
"I'd intended to move her onto the estate, if not the house, but that was before tonight happened. After what he said, I think it would cause her unnecessary stress to live under the same roof."
"You are being too cautious, my wife. Remember she is Vulcan: facing our emotions and overcoming them is a source of pride. Stress is a necessary aspect of life."
"Not for a pregnant woman."
In the silence that followed, Amanda thought that she may have heard Sarek's breath hitch a few times. Finally, he pressed the manual control for the lights and sat up against the headboard. "This is…" She had so rarely witnessed him at a loss for words through their entire courtship and marriage.
She tried to complete his thought: "Wonderful, devastating, problematic?"
"Logical," he insisted. "She is in the beginning of her prime fertile years, and Romulan DNA is so similar to Vulcan DNA. And we have personally witnessed how the Human factor is not a hindrance to the creation of a zygote." Amanda quietly let him process the news. She knew he found comfort in science, in facts and statistics. "This is a logical explanation for her actions this evening. I assume Spock does not view the news as fortuitous."
"She hasn't told him. Before dinner, she told me she hadn't even decided if she was going to tell him."
"He must know. He has that right." Sarek had experienced first-hand how disruptive and shocking it was to learn about the existence of offspring far later than ideal. He had never forgiven T'Rea for denying him the right to be present in Sybok's formative years of childhood.
"Normally I'd agree. But Spock's recovery has too many unknowns. No one knows how shocking news like this could throw him into disarray." At her words, a frown touched Sarek's lips as he stared into the middle distance. "Both Vulcan and Human women have endured pregnancy without a male's assistance for millenia. She's so strong, Sarek."
When Amanda sniffed, fighting against tears, he extended an arm and pulled her to his side. "Yes, we must consider Spock's recovery. I will comply with whatever actions that you deem necessary for his recovery as you are the galaxy's foremost expert on Spock."
"Only because I have such an excellent research assistant." She teased as she ran her hands through the dark hair on his chest. Soberly, she added, "I've made plenty of my own mistakes with him. With all of our children, but I'm going to do everything I can to get him through this." Her hand dipped unconsciously to her stomach. "You know, It's unlikely that she'll carry to term."
"I am aware. The potential difficulties are likely to resolve naturally."
Amanda pushed up to kiss Sarek on the lips. "Sarek, husband, I love you. But may I recommend that you refrain from referring to the pregnancy as 'potential difficulties' within Saavik's hearing?"
"Wise advice. I am well aware of the physical pain that she is capable of inflicting." He turned his arm over to display a scar on the inside of his forearm. It was faint but the crescent shape was perceptible and distinctive. "I earned this on the rescue mission when she was a child."
"She bit you?!" Amanda tried to stifle a laugh. "What did you do?"
"I attempted to introduce her to grooming habits. Specifically the use of a hairbrush."