A/N: This is set sometime during season 4. I don't think it matters too much when exactly, but I picture it being somewhere around episode 4 or 5.
I wrote this intending it to be a one-shot, so I'm marking it as complete for now, but I am thinking about adding another chapter or two if there's interest and if I can figure out how to write it the way I want it. I hope you enjoy it!
Morgana awoke with a gasp, bolting upright in her bed. She closed her eyes and placed her hands firmly over them, curling into herself slightly. She was confused to say the least, especially since one of the first things she noticed upon waking was that the pit of anger and darkness that had settled itself firmly in the pit of her stomach for over a year now was nowhere to be found. In its place was a peaceful feeling of contentment. She was happier than she had been… well, suffice it to say, she didn't quite remember the last time she had been this happy.
Eventually she managed to move her hands away from her face and open her eyes again, but she immediately wished she hadn't. It took her a moment to place where she was, but it certainly wasn't the little hovel in the woods that was now the closest thing she had to a home. Gone was the rickety furniture, the drafty walls, the shelves and shelves of herbs and potions. In their place were the beautifully crafted fixtures of her youth- the stone walls, the dining table where she and Gwen had eaten many-a-meal, the large vanity, the wardrobe full of bright, colorful gowns.
She was in her chambers in Camelot. What was going on? This had to be a dream of some sort, right? But it certainly wasn't like her usual prophetic dreams. No. There was no doom and gloom, no impending sense of death and despair. No Emrys. There was no way this was a vision of her future. Even if she did ever return to Camelot without an army behind her, she knew it would be to a cell and then to her death, certainly not to her old chambers.
No, if anything, it was just a dream of her past. Her subconscious was bringing her back to a time when she had been happy, a time where she felt safe. It was nothing more than a way to cope with the misery that now filled all of her waking and sleeping moments. Yes. That was it, she decided. A memory, not a prophecy. She would wake soon and it would all be gone, leaving only darkness once more.
Well, she decided suddenly, why not revel in it a bit? Sure, she knew it wasn't real, but it had been so long since she felt genuine happiness. She certainly hadn't felt safe since before she found out about her magic. And the lack of anger filling her soul was soothing. She knew that, were she awake, she would never consider giving into this, but she was at peace that the decision to give into it wasn't so difficult at all.
So, deciding to simply see where her mind took her, she got out of bed and walked over to her wardrobe. As she somehow knew they would be, all of her old clothes were there, though she was surprised to see a few new gowns as well. So maybe this wasn't strictly a memory then, but the contents of the room were similar enough to what she remembered that she assumed she hadn't been far off.
She considered a lovely crimson gown embroidered with gold that she had never seen before, but eventually decided on the familiar deep green dress that matched her eyes, an old favorite of hers that she still longed for in moments of weakness and homesickness. She grabbed the gown and moved behind her changing screen. Unfortunately, it took only a moment before she remembered how impossible it was to put this particular dress on without assistance. Fortunately, that was when the door opened and someone, presumably Gwen if her memory theory was correct, walked inside.
"You're just in time," she called out to her maidservant. "Could you help me with this fastening please?" A moment later, she felt a pair of deft hands doing up the buttons along her back, and she didn't realize anything was wrong until said hands wrapped themselves around her waist and she felt a gentle kiss to her temple, nearly making her jump out of her skin.
"Morgana?" a distinctly masculine voice said. A voice she would know anywhere. She froze, feeling her entire body tense up. When she didn't reply, the voice repeated itself, filled with concern. "Morgana, love, are you alright?"
How was this possible? This was most certainly not a memory. At no time had Arthur's manservant come into her chambers without knocking and then come behind her changing screen to help her dress, kissing her and calling her love. Maybe at one point she had entertained the idea of being attracted to him, but really, what girl hadn't? But she had never pictured a scene like this.
But if she weren't caught in a memory, what was this? It certainly wasn't a normal dream- not that she had those very often anyway. But it felt so real! It really didn't feel like a dream at all, she realized. But what then? Some sort of enchantment? But who would see fit to enchant her to be in love with Merlin of all people, and how would they have gotten close enough to do it? And even if they had, how had she gotten back into Camelot, into a position of enough trust that she was allowed into her old life? No, she was sure this wasn't an enchantment.
Maybe it was her seer power manifesting itself in some strange new way. Her powers were certainly growing, and she hardly knew all the ins and outs of being a seer. She still had much to learn. Really, it was the only somewhat logical explanation, though it still didn't offer any sort of reasoning as to why her powers would show her this.
She suddenly remembered that she had been spoken to, that she was inexplicably in Merlin's arms. Deciding that whatever this was, she owed it to herself to see where this bizarre vision led, she swallowed down the panic and the bitter resentment that firmly attached itself to her memories of this man (though even those feelings were weakened in the bizarre peace that this reality held), and forced herself to turn in his arms and smile. "Yes, I'm fine. Just a little out of sorts I think. I'm sorry."
"Did you have a nightmare?" Merlin asked, voice still laden with concern, though he easily reciprocated her smile. "I didn't think you would be awake yet."
"Not exactly," she replied honestly. "Just a strange dream is all." She looked into his warm blue eyes and tried to convey a look of reassurance.
Merlin removed one hand from her waist to cup her cheek, and she didn't feel nearly as much of a desire to recoil from the touch as she had expected. In fact, she felt the inexplicable urge to lean into it. She couldn't fathom why she would possibly feel this level of affection for the man who poisoned her and then preceded to get in her way as much as humanly possible.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, drawing her once more back to the present-or, whatever this was
"No, it's alright. It was just silly. No need to worry yourself about it." When he didn't quite look convinced, she added, "I promise."
Merlin narrowed his eyes as if trying to discern if she was telling the truth, but eventually, though he still didn't look entirely convinced, he relaxed slightly. "Alright, as long as you're sure." And then he brought his face closer to hers and he kissed her. She had to fight down the shock she felt at first, but she was again surprised at how quickly it started to feel comfortable. Her heart fluttered unexpectedly, and she subconsciously wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer.
After a moment, he pulled away, looking into her eyes with what could only be described as complete adoration. She smiled softly back at him until he broke the silence. "Come, we promised Vivienne that we would all have breakfast with the king and queen this morning."
Vivienne? But Vivienne was her mother. Was she part of this strange reality too? A flicker of hope filled her at the thought, and she smiled more brightly. She only had vague memories of her mother, and she was excited at the prospect of seeing her here. "Of course, we shouldn't be late," she agreed. As they stepped out from where they were still standing behind the changing screen and left her room, she placed her hand on Merlin's offered arm and allowed him to escort her down the hall.
Morgana was slightly surprised that they weren't headed towards the dining room, but seeing as she still didn't particularly have a good sense for what was going on, she followed with no question. They only walked a short distance down the hall before they stopped in front of a door leading to what she believed was one of the many guest chambers in the castle. Perhaps this was her mother's room.
But when Merlin knocked and the door was opened, it was quickly made clear that that theory was incorrect. A servant stood behind the open door, smiled at the two of them, and turned around. "Lady Vivienne, your parents are here."
Morgana's eyes widened and she forgot how to breathe for a moment. She tried desperately to pull herself together so that Merlin wouldn't have more reason to worry that something was off, but the idea of her having a child- with Merlin no less- was insane. At one point she had wanted to be a mother of course, but she hadn't entertained the idea in a very long time.
Nonetheless, a little girl, no older than 6 or 7, peeked through the door and Morgana saw that she looked almost exactly like her with her pale skin, wavy black hair, and narrow face. Her eyes, though, were the exact same blue as Merlin's. She was beautiful, and Morgana suddenly had to fight back tears that had come unbidden to her eyes.
The little girl beamed. "Hello Father! Hello Mother!" Morgana couldn't help but return the wide smile as Merlin released her arm and bent down while the girl jumped into his arms and buried her face in his neck.
"Good morning, Princess," Merlin replied in a voice far more tender than anything she had ever heard from him before. "Are you ready?"
"Yes!" she replied excitedly as she jumped back from her father's grip. "I want to show Gwen my new dress! She always says purple is my best color." She looked up at her mother now and Morgana's heart stopped at the absolute love and trust that she saw in the eyes that met hers. "Do you like it, Mother?" The child twirled so that the whole dress was visible for inspection.
"Yes, darling," Morgana replied. "It's beautiful. You look like a lady." Vivienne beamed back at her and stood a little straighter, clearly pleased by the compliment. Morgana remembered how much she had liked being called a lady at this age. It always made her feel grown up and proud.
"Off we go, then!" Merlin said brightly as he again took Morgana's arm and grabbed Vivienne's hand with his other. And then a moment later, "What do you think little one? Should we go riding with Aithusa after breakfast?" This was followed by much jumping up and down and squealing with excitement before Merlin gently hushed the child and reminded her to behave like a lady in public.
Morgana looked on in amusement even as she wondered who this Aithusa was. It was a bit of a strange name, so she suspected it wasn't another child. Perhaps a favorite horse? She couldn't exactly ask because she was almost certain she was supposed to already know. Oh well. That knowledge would come soon enough she was sure.
She was content to listen and smile as Vivienne and Merlin continued talking excitedly about the day ahead as they walked through the corridors to the small dining hall where she had shared so many meals with Arthur and Uther. She felt a flare of anger rise in her at the thought of her father. It was strangely reassuring to know that even is this bizarre dream, she could still manage to be angry at someone. She did, however, notice that she harbored no such feelings toward her brother or his didn't realize how much she had tensed until she realized Merlin was looking at her strangely.
"Are you alright?" he asked softly so that the little girl at his side wouldn't hear.
"Yes," she replied with a rather forced smile as she made herself relax her grip on his arm. "I'm perfectly fine." Merlin didn't look particularly convinced, but he thankfully let it go and turned back to ask something or other of Vivienne while Morgana calmed herself and made herself remember that she no longer had to worry about her tyrant of a father.
She had mostly managed to compose herself on the matter by the time they arrived in the hall where Arthur and Gwen already sat in front of empty plates at the table, Gwen clearly doing so much more patiently than Arthur was. As soon as their footsteps sounded in the room, Arthur jerked his head up and fixed his eyes on Merlin. "Well it's about time you deigned to show up, Merlin. I don't know why I keep thinking you'll learn to be on time someday. You'd certainly think that all the years of oversleeping because of you would have taught me better."
Merlin released her arm and pulled out a chair for Morgana and then for Vivienne before seating seating himself on the other side of their daughter. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him roll his eyes rather dramatically and then grin mischievously. "I apologize, sire, for keeping you waiting for an extra two minutes. I keep forgetting that your royal stomach can't bear to be kept waiting."
Arthur glared while Morgana bit back a chuckle. Clearly, some things would never change no matter what reality she found herself in. Gwen just shook her head and rolled her eyes before cutting off the petty squabble. "And how are you all this morning?"
Well that was a question she couldn't answer entirely honestly. She settled for smiling and assuring her that she was quite well, thank you. Vivienne echoed her in the kind of voice a child uses in trying to seem as grown up as their parents.
The four adults settled into comfortable conversation as servants began piling food on their plates. "And how is little Amhar?" Merlin asked a few minutes later, looking at Gwen, who proceeded to absolutely beam while Arthur smiled softly at his plate. Ah, a child then.
"He's just wonderful," Gwen said brightly. He's sleeping right now, or we would have brought him down to say hello."
"Can I play with him later, Gwen?" Vivienne asked before her eyes brightened with a sudden idea. "Maybe he can come with when Father and I go see Aithusa!" She turned to Merlin and pulled at his sleeve energetically. "Please, Father? Can we bring him with us?"
Gwen nearly choked on her grape at the same time Arthur nearly spilled his wine, which Morgana thought was a rather strange reaction until Merlin laughed and gently patted Vivienne on the back. "Um, I think Amhar is a little young yet for dragon riding, sweetheart." After that, it was all Morgana could do not to physically jump. Aithusa was a dragon? How in the world was that possible when the last dragon was dead? And why in the world would she ever let her daughter go near it, even if it did exist?
Not to mention that fact that apparently Arthur and Gwen not only knew about the dragon in their kingdom, but accepted it. Their horror was clearly solely related to the idea of their child riding it, not the mere existence of the thing.
It was becoming a bit painful to act like this was all normal, especially when Vivienne followed up with, "But Father, you can keep him safe. And Aithusa is nice anyway. She won't hurt him," and Merlin responded with,
"I don't think whether or not I'm a dragonlord has much to do with it, love. Perhaps once he's bigger we can talk Arthur into letting him join us for a ride."
Dragonlord? She couldn't have heard that right, could she? Merlin was a dragonlord? And Arthur and Gwen knew about it. Even as Vivienne turned her face full of disappointment back to her food and Arthur murmured something that sounded suspiciously like "Over my dead body" into his glass, Morgana began thinking about the implications of everything she had learned so far during the strangest meal of her life.
If Merlin was known and accepted as a dragonlord and a dragon lived in Camelot, what did that mean about magic? Had Arthur actually legalized it? It was so hard to believe that he might undo his father's work like that, and yet… She couldn't help but remember all of a sudden several instances she had forgotten about in her cloud of anger and hate.
Arthur helping her get Mordred out of Camelot so that he wouldn't be unjustly executed.
Arthur fighting for Gwen when she was accused of sorcery and sentenced to die just because she was thought to have healed her father.
Arthur helping her try to save Tom the blacksmith when he was charged with treason for unknowingly helping a sorcerer.
Arthur trying to save Gaius when he was accused by the witchfinder.
Maybe the idea wasn't so crazy as she had initially thought. Maybe Arthur really was better than his father in that regard. She wasn't about to test the theory of course, especially since she didn't know what all he knew in this strange reality Morgana had found herself in.
Not that she needed to, apparently, because it was just at that moment that she looked over at Vivienne as Merlin was deep in conversation with Arthur and Gwen about some council meeting or other. She saw the mischievous smile on the girl's face a moment before the telling flash of gold in her eyes and then the sausage flying from the king's plate into her waiting hand. This time, Morgana did jump. "Vivienne!" she scolded, even as her heart pounded in her chest and her breathing halted as she waited to see what would happen next.
Merlin caught on to what had happened a moment later. "Vivienne! You know better than to use magic at the table." Vivienne looked slightly bashful, but not terribly sorry as she took a bite of the stolen sausage and mumbled an apology around it. The situation certainly wasn't helped by the fact that Merlin was doing a terrible job at hiding the amusement and pride on his face.
Morgana couldn't help but notice the nature of the rebuke though. Merlin hadn't scolded her for using magic in front of the king, but simply for using it for something inappropriate. Then Arthur must be used to the child's magic, and she couldn't quite suppress a grin at the thought.
Arthur, for his part, reacted by glaring at Merlin. "You taught her to do that, didn't you?"
Merlin's face twisted into one of clearly feigned shock and offense. "Is that really what you think of me, Arthur? That I would teach my child to disrespect her king in such a manner?"
Arthur's glare remained steady. "Yes, actually. I think that's exactly the kind of thing you would do." He sighed and shook his head. "I always knew that you two would have the most insolent children in all of Albion."
Merlin snorted. "Magic doesn't equal insolence, Arthur."
Arthur's glare deepened. "I wasn't talking about your magic, Merlin."
Despite the added shock that her daughter, and apparently Merlin as well, also had magic, Morgana found herself equal parts amused and annoyed. She sighed. "Vivienne, stealing the king's food is not a proper use of your magic. Merlin, don't teach our child to steal the king's food with her magic." Her heart fluttered unexpectedly at the phrase "our child." She realized it was the first time she had used it.
As she had managed to be more convincing in her scolding than Merlin had, Vivienne looked much more chastised. Merlin, however, scoffed as he shoved a chunk of bread into his mouth and mumbled. "As if you're any better," quiet enough that she barely heard it. Morgana raised her eyebrows slightly, but didn't respond to the accusation, especially since she had no idea what she had done to deserve it.
Conversation regained some level of civility after that and they all chatted happily until everyone was done eating. It was time, it seemed, for Merlin and Vivienne to go meet the dragon. Arthur had some sort of meeting to go to and Gwen excused herself to check on her son. Morgana considered following after Merlin and Vivienne, but opted instead for returning to her chambers. She needed time to think.
She still had no idea what was going on, but she found that the longer she was in this strange dream -or whatever it was- the more at home she felt. There were so many things she tried being angry at, but she couldn't manage it. The fact that Merlin had magic should have been especially infuriating. But somehow it wasn't. She didn't know why he hadn't told her when she had confided in him, but she supposed that it was somewhat understandable given the road she ended up going down. She had to admit that things would have been much more dangerous for him had she known.
Instead, her heart was lighter than it had been in years. She felt loved, safe, and happy. She found herself wishing she could stay here. She didn't want to return to her miserable life in the dreary hovel with nobody except for Arthur's creepy uncle as occasional company. She may not know much about what was happening to her, but she knew she didn't want it to end.
Lost in thought as she was, she nearly walked right past her chambers. Resurfacing from her stupor, she entered her rooms and was more than a little startled to see the woman sitting on the side of her bed. She had long, platinum blonde hair, eyes that were nearly silver, and a gown that matched them perfectly. It was clear from her appearance that she wasn't a servant, so Morgana had no idea what she was doing here.
"Ah, Lady Morgana," she started, as though it was perfectly natural for her to be there. "You're back."
Morgana narrowed her eyes and stayed rooted to the spot. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"
"Ah, yes," she responded, a smile lighting her face. "I suppose that is a natural question. My name is Alvina. I'm the one who brought you here."
"Wait, what? You know what's happening to me?" Morgana knew she should be wary, but the curiosity won out.
Alvina stood and slowly walked towards her, stopping a foot or so in front of her. "I do. I've been watching you for a while now, Morgana. Your actions against Camelot and the Once and Future King, though I suppose they're well-intentioned at their root, are doing far more harm than good. You meddle in a destiny you know nothing of and as such, you push the Old Religion further and further out of balance."
"What do you mean?" Morgana asked. "What destiny? Who is the Once and Future King?"
"It has been long prophesied," Alvina continued, "that there would come a day when the Old Religion and that those who practiced it would be killed or forced to hide."
"Yes," Morgana interrupted, "I'm well aware of the atrocities that Uther performed."
"But," Alvina said as though Morgana hadn't spoken. "These prophecies also speak of an end to these dark times. They speak of The Once and Future King and of his greatest ally, the warlock Emrys."
Morgana froze at the mention of that name and she felt fear flow through her like ice. If Emrys was part of this… Well, she wasn't sure what to think.
Alvina continued and Morgana was startled out of her fearful thoughts. "The Once and Future King and Emrys are destined to bring balance back to the world. They are to unite the land of Albion and bring peace and safety to all of its people. They will bring magic back to the land, and all will live in harmony."
"But I don't understand," Morgana finally managed to say. "What does that have to do with me? What does it have to do with my being brought to this place?"
Alvina smiled kindly. "I know you are eager to be accepted and for magic to be once more allowed its rightful place in the world, Morgana. But I must warn you, if you continue on the path you have set yourself on, the prophecy will not come to pass for many years, not until long after you and I are gone from this world. You must allow destiny to take its course. Even now, the warlock Emrys is working to help the Once and Future King prepare for his role in fulfilling the prophecy."
"Emrys is helping? But the Caelleach called him my doom."
"If you continue what you are doing, he will be. He will be your destiny, and he will be your doom. This path leads only to the Once and Future King turning against magic, and Emrys' hand being forced. He will have to stop you by any means necessary." Morgana's blood ran cold at the thought.
"But," Alvina continued. "If you stop fighting him and let destiny take its course, then you, too, will be able to enjoy the benefits of magic being restored and peace being brought to Albion. You can help the Once and Future King to understand that magic is not inherently evil. Emrys will be your destiny, but he will not be forced to be your doom."
Morgana swallowed and nodded. She did rather like the idea of helping to bring about the world that Alvina spoke of. Much like the world she was in now, she expected. "And how do I do that? How can anybody ever forgive me for the harm I've caused already? Am I not set on this course?"
"No, Morgana. You can always change. I admit it will not be an easy path if you choose to repent of your wrongdoings, but Emrys and the Once and Future King will grant you mercy and forgiveness. You have seen that here today."
Morgana's eyes widened at the connection that Alvina had just drawn. She felt her legs go weak and she had to move over to sit on her bed to keep from falling over. "Are you saying…" She couldn't quite bring herself to say it, though she suspected she already knew the answer. "Alvina, who are these people you speak of? Who are the Once and Future King and Emrys?"
Alvina just smiled knowingly at her, and leaving the question unanswered was confirmation enough. "This can still be your future, Morgana. You and Emrys together can help the King understand the true nature of magic. Show humility and trust in their goodness. It is not too late to turn around and put destiny back on course."
Morgana nodded. Now that she had experienced this wonderful, normal, happy morning, she wanted nothing more. She would do everything in her power to make this her life. "I understand," she said quietly, lifting her eyes from where they had rested in her lap to look once more at Alvina. "I will do as you say. I swear it."
Alvina looked more pleased than Morgana had yet seen her. "That brings me great joy, Morgana. It's time to go back then and begin your journey. I will be nearby should you need me."
Morgana smiled gratefully even as she registered the reality that she would soon be leaving this place and finding herself back in her real life.
As though she had willed it to happen, she found herself waking with a start a moment later and looked around her to see her hovel. Her heart sank as she realized that everything was back to normal. Well, almost everything. Despite the despair at being put back into her decidedly unhappy life, the hate did not return. She remembered the little girl and the love in Merlin's eyes when he looked at her, how it had felt for him to wrap her in his arms and kiss her. She felt a stirring of hope when she remembered Alvina's words, that that could be her future. It would be here future. She would make sure of it.
With courage and conviction filling her heart, Morgana arose from her bed and gathered a piece of parchment and a quill. She sat down at her table and wrote,
Merlin,
I realize I have no right to ask this of you, and you have no reason to believe that what I say is true, but I have had a change of heart. I want to help you and Arthur restore Camelot to a land of peace and safety for all. I need to speak with you as soon as possible. Seek out the sorceress Alvina, and she will confirm what I say.
Morgana
Replacing the quill, she walked to her window and willed the raven in the nearby tree to come to her. She tied her message to its leg and sent it flying towards Camelot. Soon, she knew, things would be different. Soon, things would be better.