"Your weight's dropped again. 2.5 kilos less than your appointment four days ago."
"This chart," Sorel tapped on his PADD then swiped off the top of the screen to send it to Saavik's PADD, "shows the consistent downward trend that has continued for nine weeks. Even though the fetus's growth is trending up at an acceptable rate, your weight loss is concerning. You must increase your caloric content."
"I need to point out, again, that you aren't completing your food log," Daniel reminded her.
"On the contrary, I have logged over 90% of my intake," Saavik countered. She switched off the PADD's display.
"So it's accurate that you consumed less than 1200 yesterday, and less than 1000 the day before? Saavik, no amount of supplements can make up for a lack of nutrients from real food."
"I am aware."
"We are growing increasingly concerned about your heart and liver."
"As you said at my last appointment."
Daniel sighed. He wasn't sure if her stoicism was some zen state or simple exhaustion. He preferred when she was fiery, argumentative, and opinionated at the beginning of the pregnancy, even though it had intimidated him at times. Before he had met her, he had this idea that the Romulans' aggression was a purely result of their culture considering how much of their DNA they shared with Vulcans. But Saavik hit him like an earthquake, crumbling the foundations of that theory. He had been told enough of her background to know that she was essentially raised Vulcan, but had the hallmarks of Romulan aggression, temperament, outspokenness. (He attributed her stubbornness to the Vulcan side.)
Sorel and Daniel exchanged a look, and the Vulcan silently volunteered to transition to the next topic. "Saavik, the deadline is approaching. You must make a choice. We estimate that there is a 96% chance that in seven to fourteen days you will detect a katra in the fetus. From that moment, abortion will no longer be option except in very limited circumstances. If you wish to terminate, we must perform the procedure in the upcoming days."
Saavik slid down from the examination bed to look out of the tinted window. The view from this window was an enclosed rock and sculpture garden that surrounded three quarters of the healing facility. Beyond the low wall of the garden, the outskirts of the city were laid out in a perfect grid pattern. The L-langon mountains rose up in the distance at the horizon, the same mountains she had been staring at for months from the S'chn T'gai estate.
Among those mountains were sacred sites that Spock's family had utilized for all of the key ceremonies. He had been born in the caves, bonded to T'Pring among those mountains, and trained for his test on Vulcan's Forge in the dry lakebed valley. If this pregnancy was successful, she would presumably give birth, oversee the bonding, and facilitate the wedding of Spock's child at those same sites.
But the mountains were just mountains. Even if they held rich history spanning back before the Reformation, they held no answers for her. This decision must be based on logic, not sentiment.
Saavik shivered and drew her patient robe tighter around her. She was always cold now. Amanda had noticed and adjusted the primary environment controls to keep the house warmer against Saavik's protests. But unless she was lounging in the sun, seated close to a fireplace, or had her hands wrapped around a mug of tea, the chill refused to dissipate. She knew this was due to the ravaging of her body by the pregnancy, but she did not begrudge the fetus. Afterall, the fetus and her were one, sharing the same body, nutrients, and energy.
The nausea was debilitating at times, as Sarek had warned. The only substances that provided reprieve from the sensation were peppermint tea and a drug that caused her blood pressure to climb and her blood sugar to fall, both to unacceptable values. She was frequently exhausted, but sleep refused to come except in short snippets. Her head ached, her feet swelled, her joints burned, and she cycled between excessive sweating and excessive mucus production at all times.
But all of the insufferable discomfort and pain had been momentarily dismissed when she experienced the fluttering sensation in her abdomen when the fetus wiggled about. Five days ago, she had been meditating on the choice by carefully examining her decision to terminate the pregnancy at today's appointment. But the unique roiling in her stomach had jolted her out of the meditative trance. She had remained completely still for almost four minutes before feeling it for a second time.
Her hours of research had prepared her to recognize the feeling as the movement of the fetus, but nothing could have prepared her for the strong waves of emotion she experienced. Amanda had been out of the house visiting friends and Sarek was always visibly uncomfortable to discuss pregnancy, so she had spent the rest of her evening wandering around the house, her arms crossed over her stomach and illogically encouraging the fetus to keep moving.
She could not articulate, even to herself, why detecting the fetus's movement caused her to reevaluate the situation. It was no more a viable baby than it was before that moment. It was even possible that she had felt the movements before and dismissed them as digestive distress. But, as illogical as it was, the sensation had caused a shift in her perspective. And she was further away from a resolution than ever.
"Saavik?" Daniel prompted.
"My apologies, Doctor, Healer. Yes, I am aware the decision must be made in the next few days. Do you have a recommendation?"
Sorel folded his hands behind his back. "Daniel and I do not make recommendations on this subject. We will provide you with all of the information, data, and predictions you need so that you can decide. But we maintain the position that this is your body, your health, and your future. To make a recommendation would be to infringe upon your autonomy."
Saavik nodded. The scanner over the med bed trilled as it continued to read her vitals while she was across the room. Her heart rate was spiking.
Daniel pushed a button to silence the alarm. "All we ask is that you give us a day's notice if you do decide to terminate so that we can schedule an operating room. No one on our staff will try to sway you either way. And if anyone in your house tries to convince you to go one way or the other without your permission, shut down the conversation. If you need a few days away from the estate, T'Mir and I would be willing to open our guest room to you."
"That will not be necessary. Ambassador Sarek and Lady Amanda will respect my decision. Their opinions, however, are welcome as they have agreed to take primary custody of the resulting child to allow me to return to Starfleet."
Sorel raised his eyebrows. "Vulcan society cordially welcomes the birth of all Vulcan children. It remains to be seen if Vulcan society can endure another S'chn T'gai ward without further intergalactic incident."
Daniel barked out a laugh, and Saavik stared at the healer, unable to fathom the possibility that he had made a joke, especially one at Sarek's expense.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
When she had started to consider the fetus a future person instead of simply a cluster of cells, Saavik's thoughts often turned to David Marcus. She would find herself wondering how a child raised by someone of his gentle, compassionate nature would fare. The galaxy lacked enough people of his disposition, and it would have been an honor to bring one more in the world.
Before then, her strongest arguments for continuing the pregnancy were to provide the house of S'chn T'gai with an heir and to give Amanda a grandchild that she greatly desired. Those were not sufficient reasons to put a strain on her health.
But she also could not dismiss the gut feeling that this may be her only opportunity to conceive and have the support of the male donor's family. Any future pregnancy would be deliberate, likely anonymous, and with a species other than Vulcan, which meant she would be forced to endure this trial again. And while she was not certain if she wanted to raise a child now, she knew her desires could change in the future, especially in the unlikely event that she found a mate.
She ended up falling asleep in her bed before she finished considering her options. Her blood pressure and anxiety were always heighted during medical procedures, and she had not been able to control that reaction even with her near-daily schedule of appointments or visits. Her medical appointments tended to drain her in recent weeks, and today's had been especially exhausting.
Even when her first evening alarm sounded, she was able to awaken only long enough to self administer the hypoinjection before collapsing back into bed. A hot stabbing pain developed in her upper abdomen, but she focused to compartmentalize it with the intention of addressing it in the morning.
Amanda arrived home a few hours after Saavik's appointment. She searched for Saavik, but upon finding her door shut, she traversed to the opposite wing of the house to Sarek's office. "Good evening, husband."
"Wife," he greeted in return, touching two fingers to hers. "You have returned later than you indicated you would. How was your lecture?"
"It went well. I just got caught up in conversation with a student." Amanda ran her nails gently up and down the back of Sarek's neck as she explained. "You remember my Saurian student Lis't'a? Her hatchday is tomorrow, and her fellow students have arranged a traditional Saurian sunrise celebration in her honor. It should be fascinating. Saurians rarely observe hatchday celebrations nowadays, but Lis't'a is part of a religious sect that puts great importance on them."
Sarek hummed an acknowledgement and willed himself not to close his eyes and indulge in the sensation of her hands stroking his neck. He had been feeling a growing sense of tension all evening, but her touch never failed to lessen any tension he was holding.
"Did you see Saavik after her appointment? Her door is shut, and I don't want to bother her if she's napping," Amanda questioned, smiling as Sarek tilted his head slightly to direct her touches.
"I did. She appeared to be suffering torpor, but that is becoming more common after her medical appointments. She has made little progress on her research project this week. When we spoke briefly she indicated an interest in the Sacred Caves and venerated ancestral sites but was not in a condition for a lengthy discussion."
"We'll let her sleep then, and I'll encourage her to have a go at some soup after dinner. Are you hungry?"
Sarek shut off his display and stood. "I am not, but I will join you at the meal table."