Hailey was so angry with herself...with the world. She couldn't seem to catch a break, things were finally going good and she'd called it, she said to Jay only two weeks ago that things were too good. He'd laughed it off, telling her that thing just got better with time, refusing to believe a bomb was waiting for them but right now as Hailey stared down at the stupid plastic stick in the sink she knows she was right and he was wrong as usual.
"Hailey, are you ready to go?" She heard Jay knock against the bathroom door as he passed by, heading towards the stairs. She sighed clutching the plastic, making sure she was definitely reading it right. These things could be false right? "Hailey?" Jay's voice pulls her from thoughts again.
"I'm coming giving me one sec," she yells back hoping he couldn't hear the slight tremble in her voice as she opened the cabinet in front of her shoving the test behind a box of tampons as she quickly splashed some cold water on her face. Come on Upton get it together.
"You good?" Jay mumbled as she reached the bottom of the stairs where he was putting his boots on.
"Yeah...fine, let's go before we're late." Hailey forces a smile on her face, not giving Jay a chance to respond as she heads for the door, she knew the longer she was around Jay the quicker he would pick up on her obvious angst.
They drove to work in silence which wasn't uncommon for them, she was lucky to be with someone who she felt completely comfortable around, she could enjoy the quiet moments just as much as their usual banter.
Hailey jumped slightly when she felt his warm hand wrap around hers on the console, intertwining the fingers. He flashed her his warm signature grin before turning back to the road, making the butterflies stir in her stomach. He had no idea the noise going on her mind, the thoughts racing around in her head.
It wasn't the right time. She wasn't ready. she wasn't ready in her career to take the time out she had imagined she would when she finally started a family. She hadn't even really spent the time considering if that's what she wanted if that's what Jay wanted. They'd been living together for three months, she thinks in all the time she'd known him, Jay, he'd maybe mused the idea of a family like once or twice. It wasn't the right time but there was this small part of they kept reminding her there was never a right time and maybe her Jay hadn't been together that long and maybe they'd never properly discussed kids but she sure as hell knew she'd never felt love like this before so how could a baby made from the love possibly be an inconvenience.
"You good?... You were a little quiet this morning. Are you still feeling a little sick?" He mumbles as they pull up at a stoplight, his thumb brushing across the back of her hand. It takes everything in Hailey not to just blurt it out right there, knowing everything is better with Jay when they just talk through it. That's what worked between them, talking even when it was hard, even when they could think of nothing worse. They were always better when they faced things together.
That's why the words were at the tip of her tongue when his phone rang out, Ruzek's name lighting up Jay's phone as they untangled their hands, Hailey grabbing it for him. They have a case and thank the god she doesn't believe in for the distraction.
She stared down at the info Kim had sent through as Jay does a sharp turn towards the crime scene, the team were already on the scene waiting for them but Hailey's mind was whirling with Kim's pregnancy a couple of years ago, she'd have to stop working pretty much immediately, even if Voight didn't immediately bench her Jay would never let her out of his sight and definitely nowhere near a crime scene.
She should tell him, she should just say it. She should just rip off the band-aid before they're wrapped up in a case, running headfirst into danger.
Luckily for Hailey the crime scene is already under control when they get there, though she'd definitely turned heads when she's stopped to retch on the side of the street, she'd heard sniggers from the uniforms clearly assuming she couldn't stomach the scene.
"You wanna tell me what's going on?" Jay grumbles rubbing her back softly, they tried to keep any affection towards each other to a minimum while working, they wanted to prove nothing could get in the way of their work but clearly watching your other half attempt to throw up on the side of the street trumped any professional boundary.
Hailey shrugs, standing up and straightening out her shirt. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, Hailey...do you honestly think I can't see right through you."
"I...er."
Jay rolls his eyes, glancing around quickly to see who was watching as drops his hands to her waist. "It's fine if you don't wanna talk about it yet."
"I...can we do this at home?" Hailey shrinks away from him, brushing his hands off as she takes a few steps back.
"Sure…" Jay nods, she could tell from the look on his face he wasn't quite ready to give it up but as he hears Kim call out for their attention he has no choice but to let it go for now.
Hailey spends the rest of the morning at her desk trying to focus on the case at hand but every so often she'd find herself drifting off, little images of the baby half her half Jay filling her mind. She had to be sure. If she was gonna tell Jay. If they were gonna make any sort of decision. She had to be sure before she set off a bomb.
Grabbing her jacket from the back of her chair she heads towards Voight's office ignoring the way Jay's eyebrows knit together as he watches her curiously.
"Come in…"
Voight waves her in as he looks up from the paperwork scattered around his desk. He frowns as he watches her expectantly waiting for her to speak.
"I need the afternoon…" Hailey mutters quietly as she meets Voight's eye, hoping he wouldn't press her on the subject. "I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."
He raises his eyebrows at her contemplating her request for a moment as he fiddles his pen between his fingers. "Sure go do what you gotta do…"
Hailey nods, muttering her thanks as she begins to back out of the room. "Hailey." Just as her hand reaches the doorknob he starts to talk again. "Everything good?"
Hailey glances through the glass looking out at Jay who seemed to be squinting at the screen as Kevin leaned over his desk both deep in discussion. He was a good man...he made mistakes. I mean they both did but he was good, he was loyal and he was funny and he would make the most amazing dad...if that's what he wanted, all she knew is the longer she thought about it the more she wanted it.
"Yeah...yeah, I think it's all gonna be good."
Confirming it had been harder than expected, cringing as Jay's smiling face lit up her phone once again, he'd called pretty consistently since she'd sneaked away earlier today. She should've gone to Lakeshore...why had she come to Med knowing Will was slinking around the halls? At any moment he could appear and patient confidentiality be damned Jay would be here in a heartbeat.
"Have you got it? Do you have the results?" Hailey yelped the second Natalie came back into sight. Squirming uncomfortably on the hospital bed she'd been forced to sit in for the blood draw.
Nat laughs, shaking her head as she slips into the room, pulling the curtain back as quickly as possible. "Jesus Hailey...you know most people don't get their labs rushed through as fast as you do."
"Nat…" Hailey deadpans.
"Congratulations Hailey...looks like there's a baby Halstead on the way."
"Oh god…" Hailey cries dropping her face into her hands, a small part of her thought maybe she'd been wrong, but now she really was pregnant, a tiny part of her and Jay was growing inside her and suddenly her whole world had changed.
"Were you guys trying?"
"No...no we were doing the opposite of trying. Well, not the opposite actually...more like a lot of trying…"
"Hailey calm down" Natalie comes to stand in front of her, wrapping her arms around Hailey who wasn't usually one for hugs but right now that seemed to have gone out the window. "I've never seen you this worked up, you're usually so calm and collected."
"I don't know what's wrong with me." Hailey cried, mumbling into Nat's shoulder.
"The hormones no doubt, I remember them well, and from the looks of it, you are already about nine weeks along. I'm surprised it took you so long to figure it out, detective." Natalie smirks as she pulls back, pulling up the results on the tablet for Hailey to look at, she didn't really understand any of it but she appreciated it nonetheless.
"Sometimes I miss my periods...the stress at work...I just figured." Hailey shrugs, her heart thumping hard in her chest as it all suddenly felt so much more real than this morning. "Oh god, I've got to tell Jay."
"Oh that you do, I'll pray for the world another Halstead is on its way."
"Jay…" Hailey calls out as she shrugs her jacket off, kicking her boots to the side as she enters their home.
"Hey, where have you been?" She hears him before she sees him, standing at the stove, stirring a pot of pasta and she had to resist the urge to snap a photo because even though they'd been together a while now it still amazed her anytime she saw Jay Halstead doing anything remotely domestic.
"I text to say I had something to do," Hailey mutters wrapping her arms around him from behind, leaning her head against his back.
"Something is pretty vague babe." She feels him wrap one arm around hers, lifting her hand slowly to press a kiss against it, she knows she's about to change his world but he has no idea how every small thing he does settles her nerves and makes her feel safe and loved and protected. "Hailey it's me whatever is bothering you-"
"-I'm pregnant." She blurts out, her eyes squeezing shut as she cuts him off, the words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to know what she was doing.
"What?" Jay exclaimed, unwrapping her arms from him as he turned around, pushing her back lightly, his eyes searching hers.
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry" Hailey begins to cry, huge tears welling in her eyes as she looks at his face. "I had this whole speech planned out, I was gonna tell you how in love with you I am and how great you are at taking care of the people you love and what an amazing dad you'd be and I've ruined it." She groans as the tears begin to flow down her face.
"Hey hey hey, Hailey come here...don't cry, babe." Jay shushed her gently wrapping his arms back around her, pulling her in so his chin was resting against the top of her head.
He slowly guides them over to the sofa as Hailey tries to speak but it all sounds like a blur of apologies and hiccups to Jay. "You haven't ruined anything." He mumbles, rubbing her back softly as he pulls her down onto his lap, brushing the mess of blonde hair out of her face, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "You're pregnant?" He whispers eyes wide as she looks up at him, taking deep shaky breaths as she tries to calm herself. This was so un Hailey like, she wasn't a huge crier at all.
"I'm pregnant." She nods, her fingers dancing dangerously close to her abdomen as she speaks.
Jay stared at her for a moment, his eyes flicking between her face and stomach in disbelief as he tried to process the news. "We're having a baby."
"Yeah...is that okay?"
Hailey bites her lip, watching as Jays breaks into a huge grin that lights up his whole face, instantly squashing all her fears with one smile. "Hailey, that's more than okay. We're gonna have a baby...there's a baby in there right now." He mutters, his own eyes welling with tears, as he places his large hand over her still flat stomach.
"But our job and we've only just moved and…"
"Hey, none of that matters as long as you're happy...are you happy?" Jay asks, shifting back on the sofa, pulling her impossibly closer, one hand coming up to cup her face.
Hailey nods biting her lip gently, her eyes sparkling with happiness that makes Jay's heart soar. "It's all I've been thinking about all day and I think I am...I really am happy."
"Even to be on desk duty?"
"Are you kidding me?" Hailey exclaims wrapping her arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck as he begins to press light kisses along her collar bone. "Platt is like my icon...she's terrifying but totally my icon...maybe they'll let me shadow her."
She squirms in his lap, as he reaches her pulse point sucking lightly, knowing how much she enjoys it when he does. His grip tightening on her hips. This is why they'd managed to make a baby without even trying because she was putty in his hands, she had no willpower when his lips were on her.
"So that's what had that lost look on your face all day...and you're disappearing act earlier?"
"I had Nat confirm it at Med." She nods, pushing him away lightly before they get so carried away she forgets what's she's trying to say. Slowly she pulls out the black and white photo Nat had given her. After they'd got her blood results back Nat had insisted they have an ultrasound to really see the baby.
"Wow…" Jay's mouth drops as Hailey laughs softly rubbing her thumb across his lip as she helps him shut it, leaning in so they can both examine the photo, a tiny black and white blob already so loved. "Look at that."
"Definitely a Halstead look at the size of that head."
"Hey…" Jay shakes his head, rolling his eyes at the way Hailey smirks. "My head isn't that big." He pouts.
"Your head is perfect… I love you, Jay." She whispers, taking his face in her hands as she pulls him in, her lips finally finding their home on his.
"I love you too...and I love you, little man." Jay grins pulling away as he places his hand back over her stomach.
"Who said it was a boy?" Hailey mutters, placing her hand on top of his, all the worries of her day finally fading away, she had everything she needed right here, her tiny little family.
"I sure hope he is...man am I in trouble if it's a little girl...hmm if we have another tiny Hailey in the house I don't stand a chance."
Thankyou so much for reading, leave a comment and a prompt if you feel like it. It's my first time writing for Upstead so please leave some feedback.
It's just a short drabble but I hope you like it. I wanna write some more Upstead so I'd love if you'd send me prompts over on tumblr odd-birds-and-booksellers or on here.
Also please check out my other socials twitter and insta oddbirdsandbooksellers for more upstead edits