I will never stop thanking you for you support and kind comments. I know I am not that good of a writer, but I try :(. Thank you all so much.
I hope everyone is healthy and safe in this difficult time. Be patient. I hope this nightmare will be over soon.
Hailey had been gone for 13 days. Well, actually 13 days, 10 hours and 43 minutes. But who was counting?
Jay had mastered the art of pretending he was handling her absence well. At least he thought he had but some signs were hard to miss by the rest of the team. He couldn't help but check his phone every few minutes for a text or a call from her. He'd unconsciously take subtle glances at her empty desk. His whole posture would change every time her name came up in a conversation.
Everyone knew he missed her terribly by the way he even avoided to mention her name.
Jay crashed on his couch the minute he entered his apartment, Trudy's words weighing down on him. He was too exhausted to even grab a beer from the fridge. Not physically, but emotionally.
Why the hell did Trudy have to poke his wound? Why did she have to uncover his hidden fear?
Of course he was afraid that his partner would never come back. That FBI would find a way to keep her In NY.
Yes, Hailey was born and raised in Chicago and was emotionally connected to their city. But, she wasn't known for letting her emotions interfere with her job. If the opportunity rose, she would definitely grab it.
After all, that was what Erin also did.
God he hated New York. Losing a woman to a better man, that was understandable. But losing to a whole city, that was unbeatable.
He rubbed his face and let out a deep sigh. Why did he always do that?
He was doing perfectly normal during the first few days. He ate and slept and functioned in detective mode as always. Lately though, his mind was always set on her and could not concentrate without her presence around.
The longer she stayed in NY, the more things she found she was fond of. She got used to the weather, the traffic, the people, the food. What if she got used to working with a new partner?
Jay felt like he needed her more than she needed him.
In the past, he never needed anyone. He'd been a loner most of his life, whether by choice or necessity. He had learned the hard way not to make attachments. He was always good at keeping everyone at arm's length. He just wasn't obvious about it. He hid his pain, tears, fears and loneliness behind cocky smiles and confident body language.
When he came back from war, he found comfort in drinking. No drugs or smoking, just drinking. Vodka was his poise.
He had lost count how many he had blacked out. How many times he got into bar fights. How many one night stands he had. How many times he woke up on a cold bench. He wasn't proud of those years. In fact, he never talked about it to anyone, apart from Mouse.
Even though he wasn't a deeply religious person, he couldn't help but wonder why God had kept him alive. He could have died during the war. He could have died at least five times as a detective. In a miraculous way though, he was still around and good people like Olinksi were not given a second chance.
He felt like he owed to the Universe for keeping him alive. That is why he always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Sometimes he wished he was like Voight. He wished he could turn off his switch and not feel anything. On the other hand though, that switch was what made him a good man and a damn good detective.
Hailey though….. well, his partner was too close to following their Sergeant's footsteps. He wanted to be there for her. He wanted to find a way and guide her towards the light cause she was spending too much time in the shadows.
God, he desperately needed her back, for both their sakes.
He stood right there on the couch for a few more minutes debating whether or not to grab that beer he had been craving, or go straight to bed.
Hailey hadn't responded to any of his messages that day and it drove him mad. If she was in any kind of danger, they would have informed them.
No! He shook his head in denial. No news is good news, he thought to himself trying to shake the negative thoughts.
Finally, he decided it was time to go straight to bed. He checked his phone for one last time and sighed in disappointment. There was no goodnight message from her tonight.
So, he picked himself up and dragged his tired body to his bedroom.
Before he had time to take a few steps, he was startled by a knock at the door.
What the hell?
He muttered and approached the door.
"Who is it?" he asked loudly.
There was no response. He tried to take a peek through the eye but someone was blocking it.
In full detective mode, he took out his gun from his jacket, opened the door and shoved the weapon into the stranger's face.
"I could make a joke like 'is this your gun or are you happy to see me?' But yeap, that is definitely your gun in my face. Nice welcome partner!"
For the first time in 13 days Jay heard Hailey's hysterical laughter.
He lowered his gun and stared into her blue eyes. He slowly reached his hand caressed he warm cheek. It was actually her. She was standing in front of his in the flesh.
He smiled in surprise and quickly drew her for a long hug. Their first hug in like….ever.
At first, Hailey was startled by the sudden intimate expression but then she put her left hand around his neck and drew him even closer.
Jay buried his face in her hair. Oh, he had missed that scent.
Finally, they broke the embrace and Hailey handed him the pizza she was holding with her right hand.
"NY pizza sucks," she grimaced and walked into the apartment "so, I brought us some good old fashioned deep dish! I didn't bring beers cause I figured you are never out of beers."
Jay smiled happily and closed the door behind him.
"Are you back for good?" he asked secretly fearing her response.
Hailey walked straight towards the kitchen and helped herself with two bottles of beer. Then, she followed Jay to the living room.
"Of course I am back for good. It was supposed to be for two weeks and the two weeks are over. Simple as that."
She opened the bottles and sat on the couch right next to Jay. She handed him the beer, their fingers subtly caressing each other.
"Cheers to that," Jay raised his bottle and took a long sip.
Hailey looked at him and smiled wickedly. "You were afraid that I was not coming back, weren't you?"
"No," Jay shook his head in denial and grimaced. He was never good at lying to her.
"Yes you were," the petit blonde laughed out loud and punched him on the shoulder.
"Good partners are hard to find, that's all. I was in no mood to search for a new one," Jay awkwardly smiled.
They stood there for a few seconds staring in each other eyes. It was their magic way of communicating. Their looks spoke volumes without uttering a single word.
She studied his face and it was written all over his eyes. He had missed her. But he was too damn proud to admit it.
Part of her felt hurt that Jay actually thought she was capable of such thing. Capable of choosing another job over him. Capable of abandoning him.
"It's going to take a lot more than a fancy suit and a big city to take me away from you, " she gave him her most reassuring smile. "And just for the record, I missed you too partner."
She winked at him and took a long sip from her bottle. Just like that, effortlessly, they were back to being partners and friends. Two people who deeply cared and loved each other. All they had to do now, was find a way to explore and express that mutual love.