I am sorry for the late update but work had been keeping me to busy lately.
This chapter contains a steamy scene but nothing too graphic (unless you want me to in the future).
Hope you'll enjoy it and won't hate me. Remember...have faith!
Waking up with Hailey in his arms that morning just after dawn, had been like a dream. Feeling the warmth of her body beside him, her tiny arms resting on his chest, and her breath on his skin had been incredible. The peace and serenity he felt was unlike anything before it.
Since he had moved into her house he was sleeping peacefully, free of nightmares and ugly memories. For the first time in a long time, he actually felt happy. All he had do to, was not screw it up.
He couldn't keep his hands off of her, and consequently, he'd spent the last fifteen or twenty minutes tracing light, gentle patterns on the bare skin of her back. She hadn't woken, only shifted under his fingertips and moaned lightly in her sleep. That tiny sound brought a smile to his face.
He could lie there like that for the rest of his life if could. It was not yet light outside but soon, it would be. For the first time ever, the sun would find them together.
The first rays of sun creeped through Hailey's drapes and landed on their face.
"Are you awake," she whispered while gently caressing his bare chest with her finger.
"Awake? I think none of us got much sleep last night."
She couldn't see his face as her head was resting under his arm, but she could feel that cheeky smile forming on his lips.
He was right though. They had been lying to themselves for way too long and all that buried sexual tension, finally surfaced in the most magical way.
Once, was just the beginning. Twice, was not enough. But by the third time, they both collapsed totally out of breath on the bed.
Sex with Adam was…raw. It had to do more with the flesh than with actual feelings. But sex with Jay, was far more better that she had imagined. He was skilled, there was no denying that. But it had to do more with the man than with the skills.
"You're in my bed," she smiled wickedly. "I smells like you now."
Jay brushed a strand of her form her eyes and leaned to place a slow, soft kiss on her lips.
"Good morning to you too," she softly moaned in pleasure.
She couldn't believe that this wasn't a dream. They were both there, naked on her bed. And most importantly, none of them had regretted the night before. Yet!
Jay lazily stretched his arms and moaned. "I think I better go take a shower."
Hailey raised her eyebrows. "Alone?"
"Well, I was going to ask Vanessa to join me but she isn't home yet," Jay responded in all seriousness.
The blonde detective quickly pinched his ribs in frustration. "Very funny."
She got up, not even bothering to cover herself with the sheet and walked slowly and seductively towards the bathroom.
Memories of just few hours ago flooded him and just like that, he wanted her all over again.
Soon, he could hear the water running in the bathroom and jumped onto his feet to go meet his partner.
She was already in the shower, waiting anxiously for him to join her. The sound of the running water was too loud for her to hear him and she kept her eyes closed, enjoying the hot water on her skin.
Though her eyes were still closed, she didn't startle at the feel of his arms slipping around her waist. Instead, she smiled and relaxes back against him, savoring the feel of his hands skimming across her belly.
His lips moved over the shell of her ear, then her jaw and down to her neck, peppering tiny kisses across her wet skin. Goose bumps began to rise despite the heat of the water falling over her. His tongue glided along her pulse, making it increase tempo. Her breath began to match it, and she gasped at the feel of his teeth as they softly closed over the tender spot where the neck meets the shoulder.
"Ummm…I think we missing the point of the shower," she said breathlessly.
Without a warning, he turned her over, pulled her against him and sealed their lips with a long deep kiss.
Her breath caught as his hands slid down and grasped the back of her thighs lifting her up. He was hard and imposing and she wanted him. Hailey tangled her fingers in his hair as she wrapped her legs around him.
"Do you want me?" he pulled away from her lips and whispered in her ear.
She gasped at the feel of his teeth catching her earlobe. A breathless nod was all she could give alonf with a whimpering moan.
That was all the invitation he needed. He mouth moved to her throat, tongue dancing over it, teeth nipping and grazing her pale skin.
With every thrust, Jay pushed her against the cold tiles of the wall harder and harder.
Throaty moans echoed through the small bathroom, joined by breathless whimpers. It didn't take long for both of them to reach their climax.
Once they were able to catch their breath, they broke into hysterical laughter, feeling a bit embarrassed that they were acting like horny teenagers.
Their embarrassment didn't last long though, as they soon moved their hungry appetites back to the bedroom. The plan was to stay in bed all day. Enjoy and savor that feeling of true happiness for as long as it lasted.
Day 9 found them again naked in Hailey's bed. This time though, she woke up to the sound of her phone. It was a message from the district. There was a homicide and both she and Jay were summoned to the crime scene.
She stood at the edge of her bed and ran her fingers through her hair. She turned her head to check on Jay, debating on whether or not she should wake him up.
That was when reality hit her. She was not ready to take their relationship, or whatever that was, to work so soon. She wasn't ready to explain or justify, especially to Voight, the status of her personal life.
She dodged that bullet with Adam. By the time everyone found out, that had already ended it.
She took in a deep breath and carefully got out of bed and dressed for work. She decided not to wake Jay up. After all, she needed some time alone with her thoughts. Jay was a distraction.
A couple of hours later and she was back at the district finishing her paper work.
The room was empty. The only sound surrounding it, was her fingers typing her report. She tried to focus on her writing, but her mind kept traveling back and forth to Jay. Being at home with him surely made her happy. But having to deal with another office relationship made her suffocate.
That was when she heard him. His distinct footsteps climbing the stairs.
"Hey, why didn't you wake me?" he softly asked as he approached her desk.
He took one quick look around to make sure nobody was watching and he hunched to place a quick kiss on his partner's lips.
"Good morning," he smiled at her, his green eyes searching for her blue.
"Good morning," she bluntly responded not taking her eyes off her screen.
Jay straightened his body and froze for a moment, completely buffled by her sudden cold behavior.
"So?" he continued. "Why didn't you wake me?"
"It turned out that it wasn't much of a case," she replied still typing. "The ex husband murdered his wife. The guy didn't even bother to cover it. He left the gun behind and his fingerprints all over the crime scene. "
Jay sat on her desk with his back hunched, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "Yeah, but you didn't know it until you got there. So that doesn't explain why you didn't wake me."
Hailey bit her lips awkwardly and remained silent.
He didn't need an answer. Her eyes, body language, but most importantly her silence spoke volumes.
"You didn't want me here," he whispered clearly hurt by the realization.
For the first time since he walked in, Hailey's gaze me his. Hurt and disappointment written all over his green eyes.
"Look Jay," Hailey got up to distance herself from him. "I think we jumped way too fast in this. "
"Too fast?" Jay got up and raised his volume a bit in frustration. "Hailey, we've known each other for three years. I wouldn't call it too fast."
"I don't think we make a good match."
"We don't make a good match?" he laughed sarcastically. "Up until a few hours ago you were begging me to make love to you and all of a sudden we don't make a good match? Where is this all coming from?"
"Fooling around at home is one thing. Coming back to work is completely different," Hailey tried to keep her tone down.
"Correct me if I am wrong, but weren't you the one that invited me to stay with you? Weren't you the one that jumped into the couch with me that night? Weren't you the one that wanted to stay in bed forever?"
"Yes, " Hailey finally shouted. "In bed, at my house. Not here. Jay, you know first hand that office romances to work out, especially in this place. "
"That's not the rule," Jay shook his head in denial. "We can make it work."
"Jay, you are not ready for a relationship. You still have a lot of healing to do, both physically and mentally."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked offended.
"You cover up well, you pretend that nothing can affect you yet you are still haunted by the ghosts of your past. That is why you act this way."
"What way? Jay raised his hands puzzled.
"Urgh…" Hailey growled in frustration. "You fall in love with everyone, literally EVERYONE."
"That is not fair," Jay took a step back in defense.
"Is it not?" she asked with ice in her voice.
"You fell in love with your next door neighbor. You fell in love with Antonio's sister. You fell in love with Erin. You fell in love with Camilla. You think you have feelings for me but in reality, it's just your constant need to grab on to someone. If Kim was your partner, you would fall in love with her too. I don't think you know what actual love is. You have this void inside that you so desperately try to fill."
Jay clenched his jaw. Every word that was coming out from her mouth was a stab in the heart that hurt more than any bullet he got.
But Hailey could not see the pain she was causing him. She kept pacing up and down the room in an uncontrollable rant.
"Whatever shit you went though during the war, it's done. It's over. But somehow you can't leave it behind. And the worst part, is that you refuse to talk about it. You refuse to resolve it. Being in pain makes you feel alive. I can't be with someone who doesn't emotionally distance himself from the cases. I can't be constantly scared that you may get too close. As your partner, fine I can live with it. But I can't accept this kind of behavior from my boyfriend. I can't be in agony every night wondering if you'll make it back home safe."
Jay was staring at her, trying to understand this sudden change of heart.
"Danger is our middle name," he finally managed to say. "I might not make it home one night. You might not make it home. Our friends might not make it home. It doesn't have to do with who we are. It's what we are. We are cops!"
"No," Hailey stood still and bitterly shook her head. "When the case is over, everyone goes home. You are the only one who brings the case along with him. It eats you up from the inside."
"Jay," she slowly took a few steps forward to approach him. "I don't want to ruin our partnership. It was good while it lasted. We got it out of our systems, but once we come back to work….it's over. I don't to hurt you or insult you. We are both broken. We are not relationship material, at least at his moment. But we do make a great team and I don't want to ruin that."
She looked up at Jay hoping to meet his eyes. The words came out harsher than she intended and the last thing she wanted was to hurt him. Honestly, she didn't know who she was trying to protect with this break up. Herself, Jay or both of them?
Jay hadn't spoken in a while. He was staring at the floor, his arms still folded in front of his chest as if he was trying to protect himself from Hailey's continuous strikes.
"Ja please, say something," she reached her hand to touch his face but he took a step behind in defense.
Finally, he picked up his gaze. His green eyes were turning red as he was obviously trying to fight back the tears.
"Why?" he asked, sadness and betrayal written all over his face.
"Why what?"
"Why did you give me hope?" his voice cracked. "I was willing to keep my feeling buried. Hell, I am damn good at it. But I thought you wanted this as much as I did. I thought you loved me too."
She did love him, more than she had loved anyone. But she couldn't bring herself to admit it. He was staring at her, piercing her with his teary green eyes, silently daring her to be true to herself.
He was right. She was the one to blame, not him. She was the one to chicken out and find stupid excuses. But still, she couldn't bring herself to admit it.
Jay shook his head disappointed. "I'll be out of your house before you get home. Once we get back, I'll ask Voight to assign us new partners. "
Just like that, he stormed out of the district before Hailey could process his words. What had she done? How could she destroy everything they built over the course of three years? How could she hurt him like that?
She run her fingers through her hair and screamed at herself in anger. Surely Platt heard her from downstairs. What the hell was wrong with her? Why did she let fear consume her? Why couldn't she stop firing insults at the man she clearly loved. Because yes, she loved him.
Even though she wasn't crying, hot tears were streaming down her face. She took her phone out of her phone and called him. It didn't strike as a surprise when he didn't pick up. She wouldn't either. She rubbed her eyes, grabbed her coat and run to her car frantically, praying that it wasn't too late. She didn't mean any of the words she said but that didn't change the fact that she had spoken them. Was all hope gone?