Collateral damage. That's what your brain was repeating over and over as you stared through the window. The two figures locked in your gaze unaware they were ever spotted. You couldn't believe what you were seeing, although you really shouldn't have been surprised. You knew things were going too smoothly, this was just the big glittery bow that topped the dumpster fire that your life usually was.
You thought Evan Buckley was the one for you. That you had finally found the person that was meant specifically for you. But as you looked through the window of the bar and saw how close Buck and Abby were sitting, and how intensely they seemed to be talking with each other, your heart started breaking piece by piece. All that seemed to be coursing through your head and heart was that you were just a placeholder, a warm body to be kept close until the one he really wanted came back to him.
The worst part was that he lied to you, told you that he had picked up an extra shift at the station. And here was, sitting all cozy with his ex-girlfriend while you were played for a fool.
You broke your gaze, and pulled your phone out to call the one person that you knew would be there. "Hen… I don't know what to do… it feels like my world is falling apart…"
As you pulled in the driveway and shifted your truck into park, you spotted Hen sitting on her front porch with glasses of wine and an ear ready to listen. And listen she did, she let you ramble on to incoherency. You knew you had made the right choice in coming here.
--
As you shifted to get comfortable on the couch in Hen and Karen's living room for the night, your mind wandered to the past year and a half. It seemed like it was all meant to be.
From the moment you stepped into Station 118 you felt like you were finally home. Everyone was welcoming and made sure that you felt like part of the family from the start. No one was more welcoming than Buck. It seemed like the two of you had some sort of gravitational pull towards each other, and you weren't the only ones to notice it. The friendship was fast and easy.
You knew that he was having a hard time coming to terms with the end of his relationship with Abby, so you held back the feelings that were quickly developing, and made sure that you were there for him as a friend. He didn't need anything or anyone else complicating his mind and heart's process of letting go, and you wanted to make sure that he knew you were there for him if need be.
Things progressed between the two of you and you couldn't have been happier. Things were just easy with Buck. He was sweet, caring, funny, always there for you, and not to mention phenomenal in the bedroom. The whole station was happy to see Buck moving on, and with someone who was a perfect match. You were a grounding force for him, and exactly what he needed.
It was all going so well, that a couple months ago, you both took the plunge and moved in together. You were nervous about it rocking the boat. It's one thing to be in a relationship with someone, but another to cohabitate. But, there was nothing to worry about, everything seemed to fall right in place. It was just… easy. You had forgotten what it was like before you had him.
But now it feels like it's all crashing down, and you didn't know if there was any coming back from this. And that terrified you more than you could ever put into words.
--
The next morning as you and Hen walked into the station, the first person you spotted was Buck. It looked like he had been waiting for you to arrive. You exchanged looks with Hen and made a beeline for the locker room. Buck was hot on your heels, and you knew there was no way you were getting around having to talk to him.
"Where the hell were you last night?! I've been up all night worried that something had happened to you!" He practically screamed.
"Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing. And don't even think about telling me you were here at the station. I'm not going to be played for a fool twice." You shot back. You could see his face fall and the look of guilt etched across his face plain as day. He was busted and he knew it.
"Baby, let me just explain. It's not what you think."
"Really?! Because it sure as hell looked like you lied to me so that you could go on a date with your ex- girlfriend. I saw you two Buck… it was like I didn't even exist to you. What am I to you? Just a placeholder until Abby decides she wants you back? I'm not someone you can use as a backup to just settle for because the one you really want left." You had to swallow the lump in your throat, and take a deep breath to keep the tears from flooding out.
"Is that what you really think I see you as? I love you… I'm sorry that I was such a moron. Please, you have to believe me… you're the one I want. You, and only you." He pleaded almost on the brink of tears.
Just then the bell went off signaling an emergency call. You just looked at Buck defeated, "You could have fooled me." You said, then ran to get geared up and in the truck.
--
The ride over to the accident scene was tense to say the least. You just kept your focus out the window, preparing yourself for the scene that waited for you.
As you stepped out of the truck you took a look at the chaos around you. A traffic light at an intersection malfunctioned and caused a pile up with no fatalities thank God, but it did leave injuries, and someone stuck in his vehicle.
You were the smallest of the crew, so you weaved your way through the wreckage to the trapped occupant of the beyond wrecked sedan. You crawled in through the passenger side to assess the damage.
"Hi there, my name is Y/N, and I'm going to do my absolute best to get you out of here as quickly as possible. What's your name?" You spoke calmly to keep him from panicking.
"Jordan, and getting out of here would be awesome… it's getting really uncomfortable." He laughed trying to make light of the situation.
"Can you feel your legs?" You asked to assess if there was possible spinal damage.
"Yes, I can feel both. I just can't move them very much right now." He said struggling a little to show you.
"It looks like the steering column is what is pinning them in place. No worries though, my team and I are going to do everything we can to get you out." You assured him. "Ready for the jaws!" You radioed over.
Buck and Eddie were ready to grab the jaws with Hen and Chimney close behind to assist with medical triage, when they heard a loud crash and police personnel screaming to take cover. A truck had driven right through the police barrier with no signs of stopping.
The team and especially Buck looked on in horror as they realized the truck was barreling right towards the car that you and Jordan were in. Bobby radioed over for you to evacuate immediately.
Eddie and Bobby had to bear hug Buck to keep him in place as he started to run towards you. He was screaming your name over and over, and they could hear the terror in his voice as he watched everything unfold.
You heard Bobby's order through the radio, but there wasn't enough time to do anything but brace yourself for impact. You heard the screeching of the tires, then everything went black.
--
Buck sat in the chair next to your hospital bed with tears in his eyes. Seeing you in that bed and still unconscious slapped him in the face with reality. He couldn't believe that he had been so stupid as to meet with Abby and lie to you about it. He just didn't want to upset you, and make you doubt yourself or the relationship. That had completely backfired right in his face.
The only reason he met with her, was to get the explanation he felt he at least deserved for her ghosting act. His romantic feelings for Abby had completely disappeared when things started progressing with you. He was in love with you. More than he had been with Abby. He actually saw a future with you, getting married, raising a family, and growing old together. You even got along with his sister Maddie. The two of you were practically best friends at this point.
And now here he sat, with the very real possibility that you would never wake up. That he might lose you with your last thoughts being that he chose someone else, and that tore him up more than he could say.
Just seeing you laying there covered in bruises, scratches, and cuts broke his heart. He couldn't lose you, he just couldn't. He wouldn't know how to go on. He wouldn't want to. You were his everything, and he planned on making sure you knew that everyday from here on out if and when you woke up.
The rest of the team looked on in worry and concern. It had been a few hours now and you still hadn't woken up. The doctor had said it could be a little while, but the longer it took the more scared they all became for the outcome. Buck looked completely broken, and that broke their hearts even more. They had never seen him this terrified, it wasn't even this bad when he thought that he would never be able to work again as a firefighter after his leg injury. The only thing they could do was pray and hope for the best.
--
Your eyes fluttered open then winced from the bright lights of the room. You looked around and realized you were in the hospital, and that was when the events from the emergency call came flooding in.
Your eyes landed on a figure slouched in a chair passed out. You looked at Buck and your heart ached at the sight. He looked exhausted and obviously hadn't been home to change or shower. Which made you smile a little realizing he had been here the entire time.
You tried reaching over for the cup of water for your scratchy and dry throat, but knocked it over. The sound woke up Buck and he shot up out of his seat over to your bedside when he saw that you were awake.
"Y/N! Oh thank god! You have no idea how happy I am to see those beautiful y/e/c eyes! I thought I had lost you! I love you so much!" Buck got out as fast as he could.
"Hey, handsome. It's good to see you too." You said as you looked at him, wishing the argument you guys had had never taken place. It looked like it had taken a hard toll on him. And, he didn't really have a chance to plead his case before you rushed off.
"Listen baby… I can explain about Abby. My only intention was to hear her explanation. I never wanted to get back together with her. I have you, and you are the only one I want. You are my future. She is my past. I sincerely mean that from the bottom of my heart. I am so sorry I lied to you. I was an idiot not to be upfront with you. I just didn't want you to think it was anything other than what it was." He was so emotional and so sincere that you knew he was telling you the truth.
You couldn't bear the thought of trying to keep this argument going. You needed him, you loved him. He was it for you. You knew that you were never going to find anyone else that you felt this deeply for.
"I believe you, I'm sorry that I didn't give you a chance to explain yourself. I jumped to conclusions, and my insecurities got the best of me. My heart just broke when I thought you were tossing me aside for her. Like I wasn't good enough. You're it for me Evan, I don't want anyone else either. I love you"
He kissed you with more passion than ever before. You knew that everything was going to be okay. As long as you were by each other's sides you get through anything together.