author's note:

while i do plan on continuing this story, as much as possible i want to focus on baby maybe, so until that one is over and until the major parts of business deal are over, this will be the only update i guess? i will try to update from time to time though, i have a lot planned for this story!

the following nine chapters focuses on each member and their lives (except rinpana, since theyre still a couple, they dont get a separate chapter and its a united one)

as you may know, i have quite a few ongoing stories -- and it helps a lot! sometimes, i don't feel like writing a particular story, so i switch and write a different one!

also, completely not related to the story but i have not left guest reviews with the name 'MinamiChun' since August has started. any reviews left by a guest ''MinamiChun'' within August is not me lmao idk why someone wants to be me but nyway that is not me. I got bored and started to read reviews of other stories after I read a few of their chapters and noticed someone leaving reviews under my account name. Thankfully, it's all positive, but still -- I did not leave those reviews lmao. To whoever is doing that and is currently reading this, please stop :) thx

with all that said, lez get into it!

Chapter 001

re•mi•nisce - verb.

• indulge in enjoyable recollection of the past.

- umi strolls down akihabara, reminiscing in her youthful days as she visits her favored spots.

oOoOoOoOoOo

The announcement of Kotori's flight to France soon departing interrupted their cheerful (and tearful) giggles, and once more, Honoka tackled Kotori in an embrace.

"I'll miss you, Kotori-chan! Mou, call us if you need us, okay?! Umi-chan and I will go there!"

"Don't tell her promises we can't keep, Honoka.."

And after a few minutes and tearful farewells, just like that,

Kotori had left.

Shortly after highschool graduation, Kotori decided to pursue college in France. It was her dream since then, after all. And unlike before, unlike the times where they were just immature and thinking of the present, it was impossible to stop her now. It was selfish to stop Kotori from achieving her dreams. After all, this is reality now -- not everything goes the way you wanted it to be.

And even if Kotori wanted to stay, even if the bluenette wanted her to stay, Sonoda Umi couldn't bring herself to hold Kotori back.

She isn't like Honoka, who was able to stop their childhood friend from leaving like before.

Umi wasn't selfish, she often never thought about herself and prioritizes others -- even though her selfless acts could hurt herself or were against her true desires, Umi didn't mind.

It's them who mattered the most -- her friends, her family, the future. Not herself.

And suddenly, Umi found herself in an odd place -- was that Kotori's old room? Is that.. Kotori?

"Kotori?" Umi shakily asked, and when the ashen-haired turned around, the bluenette smiled in relief "Kotori!"

There was something odd about that Kotori, though. Umi hesitated to go near the ashen-haired, but soon, Kotori approached her, tucking Umi's blue strands behind her ear.

"Umi-chan, sometimes, don't you regret it?"

"Huh?" Umi blinked in confusion. Kotori giggled in response, but soon frowned as she continued.

"Hiding your true desires to satisfy others.. hiding what you feel due to fear of risking it all.. don't you regret it? You've ignored your desires -- your feelings -- for years now,

do you still remember it?"

oOoOoOoOoOo

Umi awoke from her deep slumber and found herself dreaming about that day again. The day Kotori left, the day where μ's members began to slowly drift apart.

But what happened in Kotori's room was.. odd. That actually never happened, but of course, it was a dream; anything could happen, she knew that -- what Umi found odd was what Kotori said in her dream.

"Do you still remember it?"

"Foolish.." Umi sat up in bed, groaning as she buried her face in her hands.

Remember what? Certainly, she never hit her head hard enough to forget things -- what was she talking about?

"Must be cause of the movies Arien showed me before I left.."

Last week, Umi arrived back from Australia -- where she stayed since she graduated. Originally, it would only be an internship, but she decided to stay for good as an accountant in Australia.

However, due to her grandmother -- the matriach of the Sonoda family -- passing away just recently, she had to return to Japan to attend the funeral and start the process of inheriting the Sonoda dojo. Thankfully, the company she worked at in Australia also owned a company in Japan and she was simply transferred there -- but she did take a leave of one month to adjust.

After tidying the bed, stretching and freshening up, Umi began preparing for her usual morning jog. As she tied her hair up, she watched as notifications from the μ's groupchat flood her phone.

She sat on the sofa to stop and check her phone, smiling upon realizing it was Maki and the others who failed to reply yesterday.

Muse!

Maki: Good morning. I was a bit busy at the hospital yesterday, I'm sorry for the late reply. I think I have free time next month, it honestly depends on when are we going to meet up.

Nico: hey there!! i was busy recording a new album, sooo sorry for replyin late! i can make time next month for you guys of course, just let me know the date so i can inform my manager!

Rin: i missed you alllllll!!! kayochin and i were busy yesterday, a lot of kids visited our farm for their field trip! but we can make time for u guys next month!!

Hanayo: Please tell us when so we can close the farm for a while!

Nozomi: hey hey umi-chan, what about your birthday? are you busy by then?

Honoka: yeah!! and where are you?? i'll pay u a visit!! kotori-chan and i can come, right, kotori-chan??

Kotori: I'll have to ask kento-kun! He doesn't seem to be in a good mood, though.. I'm not sure if I can ask him.

Honoka: kotori-chan, ily and all, we've been friends for forever,

Honoka: but i hate ur bf.

Honoka: he never lets us hang out! what r u, 16? even then, umi-chan wasn't like that

Eli: Hold on, Umi and Kotori were together?

Umi: Absolutely not.

Honoka: riiiiight. anyway, free on ur birthday?

Umi: Yes, I'm free on my birthday. However, isn't Otonokizaka busy at that time? It's graduation season.

Umi: Anyways, I will be out on my morning run. Just tell me once it's confirmed.

Kotori: okies I'm back! kento-kun said no :( and honoka-chan, you know he's kind! just not in the mood most of the time..

Honoka: he doesn't seem to like me tho lmao since u came home last year with him, we only saw each other twice cause of him. and every time, he's within earshot like tf, is he some legal guardian or somethin

Kotori: eheh, sorry for that.. kento-kun is a little possessive, that's all

Nozomi: Hm.. Hopefully your bf will let you join next month, Kotori-chan. And Nicocchi! Nice new single!

Nozomi sent a thumbs up sticker.

Nico: thank you!! i'll give you guys signed copies next time!

Nico sent a heart sticker.

Umi furrowed her eyebrows as she tied her shoelaces. Kento, huh? It has been long, and she hasn't been in contact with the girls for a while.. it is natural for each of them to have their own relationships.

"Whoever this Kento is.. doesn't seem too good, though.." Umi sighed. She soon shook her head, dismissing any negative thoughts about her childhood friend's partner "I haven't met him, it's too soon to judge."

Ah, but Kotori is known to be kind and chooses to see kindness in people.. and Honoka rarely talks badly about others..

Before heading home from her morning jog, Umi decided to go to places she often visited in her childhood and adolescent years.

Her first stop -- Otonokizaka. Of course, she didn't enter the school premises in order to not distract students, but it was morning break and a few students seemed to recognize her outside the gate.

"Whaaa! It's Umi-san from μ's!"

"Whoa, really? Really?! Where?!"

Umi chuckled in defeat as the girls huddled to the gate, asking her for photos and autographs.

"Please head back to classes as soon as your break is over, okay? And thank you for supporting μ's and for choosing Otonokizaka," Umi smiled, signing a girl's.. handkercheif? Well, she has signed worse..

"We will! Kyaa, I won't ever wash this again! She touched it here, see, see?!"

"It was a blurry shottt!"

"My hair was a mess!"

Umi noticed that the school had a few noticeable new touches -- like how a few areas of the old building was repainted, and more benches were around.

"I'm glad that there are still students who chose this school.. there are newer ones, but the tradition this school has cannot be replaced or copied by another," Umi mumbled to herself before she made her way to one of the places she wanted to see.

Ah, the playground. Surprisingly, the tree where she hid behind as a child still stood strong -- even the tree where they climbed as children was still there.

"I was worried this would be demolished or something like that.. What a relief," Umi smiled to herself, taking a seat on the swing.

"Hey, hey, Honoka-chan! Can you push me on the swing?"

"Sure, Kotori-chan!"

"E-Ehh, not too fast, Honoka-chan! Umi-chan, save me!"

"Honoka! Don't scare Kotori..! Mou, move aside, I'll push her!"

"Eeeeeh, you two act like a couple..! You know, like Prince Charming saving his princess!"

"Do we?"

"H-H-Honoka..!"

Umi chuckled as she remembered a memory from when they were just seven year olds. Honoka loved teasing Kotori with Umi since they were young, and while Kotori eventually learned to deal with it, Umi did not. Umi would turn into a blushing mess, and one time, she did faint due to Honoka's teasing.

But of course, that was in the past, and Umi's 'shameless!' phase in life finally ended. Umi would cringe whenever she remembered that phase of hers, and it didn't help that everyone she was (was) close with knew that type of Umi.

The bluenette eventually stood up from the swing after a few minutes and headed to another place, deciding to skip the shrine for now since, well.. in case Nozomi was still working there, she didn't want to meet in person just yet -- she wanted to see a particular orange-haired girl (and possibly the ashen-haired) before anyone else first.

The path to Homura had slightly changed over the years, but the alluring scent of freshly baked Japanese goods (mainly manjuu) still led Umi to her favorite dessert place.

"Yukiho! What'd you mean you're not comin' today?! I need someone to cover my shift, Tsu-chan is coming home! Mou, you meanie!"

Umi stifled a laughter upon hearing her childhood friend argue with her sister -- Honoka was too busy on the phone to even notice Umi entering the store.

"Geez, since she moved out and Mama and Papa moved to Osaka, she's always ignoring me..."

"Um, hello? Is the store open?"

"Ah, I'm so sorry! Welcome to Homura--"

Honoka's eyes widened upon realizing it was the bluenette, she even teared up as she yelled her name, tackling her in a hug.

Umi almost fell backwards, and she knew Honoka's apron was stained with red-bean filling and flour, but it's fine, she missed her energetic childhood friend after all -- a few stains like such can be scrubbed away.

"Umi-chan! I missed you sooo much! You've grown taller! Whoaa, you're much more taller than me now! Ah, did you just finish your jog?"

"I missed you too, Honoka. And yes, I was about to head home but I decided to pay you a quick visit here.. I'm not yet done unpacking so my place is just a little messy now.." Umi scratched her nape as Honoka let her go. The blue-eyed girl went back behind the counter, and beckoned Umi to come closer "Hm?"

"I have some fresh manjuus here! Well, I'm supposed to sell it, but I can make new ones! Hey, do me a favor and flip closed on the store door, please!"

"Hey- Honoka, are you still ignoring your responsibilities?!"

"Mou, they can wait! I'll have to pick Tsu-chan up later, anyways! So come onn, flip it so we can tell each other stories upstairs!"

Honoka's Room

Judging by the ring that lay on Honoka's ring finger, and the fact that she inherited the master bedroom that had multiple framed photos of Tsubasa and her, Umi safely assumed that she was engaged to the idol. News of them dating emerged years ago, but engagement?

"I guess they want to keep it low.."

"Okay, okay, so how was Australia? Met anyone newww?" Honoka asked, getting comfortable under the kotatsu "Why are you back, by the way?"

"Honoka, don't even try.." Umi glared at Honoka as she took a bite of her manjuu. She stopped talking to chew, but once she was done, she continued "Australia is wonderful. But nope, I did not meet anyone there or dated anyone -- was far too busy with work after all. I went back home cause my grandmother had recently passed away and.. well, I'm preparing to inherit the family business."

"Ehh? Grandma Sonoda passed away? My condolences.. she was really kind, but she did scare me sometimes.."

Umi chuckled to that, nodding in agreement. Her grandmother was known to be strict, but still, Umi remembered her as the warm and kind grandmother that would often offer her a cookie or two after the bluenette finished her trainings.

"Anyway, what about you and Tsubasa-san, Honoka?"

"Welll, Tsu-chan and I just got engaged a few weeks ago, see? The ring is so pretty!" Honoka excitedly pointed at her ring with a grin "Other than that, hm.. I inherited Homura last year, shortly after Yukiho moved out! Mama and Papa moved to Osaka and started another branch of Homura there, it became a hit so they decided to stay there for good."

"That's nice to hear, I always heard from Aunt and Uncle they wanted to have more brances of Homura.."

"Yeah, yeah!"

After a few more minutes of chatting, paired with a few manjuus and cups of tea, their conversation slowly drifted to Kotori.

"Hey, Umi-chan, you don't know much 'bout Kento-san, no?"

"Kento..? Kotori's boyfriend, right?"

"Yeah, they started dating while Kotori-chan stayed at France. Kotori insists he's kind, but like.. he gives me creepy vibes, y'know? He's so controlling of Kotori-chan," Honoka commented as she took bites of her manjuu. She paused to chew after Umi gave her a glare for talking with her mouth full, then continued "he picks her up and drops her off to work, doesn't let Kotori-chan out alone.. One time though, I saw Kotori-chan at the near pharmacy, and her makeup was sooo heavy! Like she was tryin' to cover something up! And she had a few bruises, too! Well, she tried to cover it up but, y'know, clothes move sometimes. She says she tripped and fell, but, really now?"

"I'm sorry, what? Bruises?"

"Yeah.. somethin' like, came from a hit or a punch-- Whoa, whoa, careful, don't break my teacup!"

"A-Ah, apologies.. When was that?" Umi sighed as she furrowed her eyebrows. So, was she correct about this Kento dude being odd, after all?

"Sometime around last year, a day after we went to a bar on my birthday.. makes me wonder if it's related to that. After that day, Kento-san didn't even let Kotori-chan hang out with me anymore!"

"He sounds controlling and abusive," Umi scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"He probably is, but ehhh, Kotori-chan is just so in love with him, I don't know how to convince her to leave him!" Honoka groaned in frustration "And they live together, which makes it even harder..! They're probably planning to settle down, but oh my God, I don't want them to marry! I don't want our Kotori-chan to stay with him at all..! Say, Umi-chan, will you object their wedding with me?!"

Umi was about to agree, when she stopped, then glared at Honoka, one of the students of Otonokizaka who love to make things sound worse than original.

"Honoka.. hold on, you and Nico love to make things dramatic.."

"...okay so maaaybe she was hiding her eyebags underneath the heavy makeup, and maaaybe it was because her company was busy releasing new clothes for the season, but still..! Those bruises were there!"

"Whatever you say, Honoka.." Umi muttered, mentally doing a facepalm.

But still, Honoka being Honoka, she insisted something was off with Kotori's boyfriend, and in all honesty, Umi would agree -- not letting your partner move around freely was taboo in 21st century, but knowing Kotori, it would be difficult to pull her away from someone she chose to love and adore.

Umi's Residence, two hours later

What was supposed to be a brief conversation turned into a two-hour talk, and Umi was only able to 'escape' when Tsubasa called Honoka, asking her to pick her up.

Now, finally, Umi was taking a soothing warm shower to ease her muscles after the morning jog (she has to jog again at night cause of the manjuus' calories..) at the comfort of her own home, but occasionally, thoughts about Kotori's relationship would emerge from her mind.

"Bruises, huh.." Umi closed her eyes, letting the water continue to drip down to her bare body "Kotori is known to choose to see everyone's kindness above all.. I just don't see how anyone would try to take advantage of her kindness."

"Do you still remember it?"

Umi's eyes suddenly opened as she remembered that sentence from her dream earlier. What was it about, really?

"No, it's just a dream.." Umi shook her head, dismissing any thoughts regarding her odd dream "I should hurry up and finish so I can continue unpacking.."

oOoOoOoOoOo

The more you ignore about what you feel, the higher the chances of forgetting what it is.

But that doesn't guarantee it will not come to haunt you in the coming times -- after all,

the heart gets what it wants,

regardless of the pain.

side-notes:

anddd the first chapter is done! the quotes featured at the end of every chapter are written by me unless stated :D i will be adding twists in this story, but do not worry-

Only mentions and aftermaths of abuse will be featured in this story. Any sort of physical abuse will not be written. However, if such topic can still trigger things, please do not continue reading this fiction. Again, this is fiction.

okies thats all imma write business deal now :D

take care everyone!

- zumi