We Lose and We Gain Chapter 10, an avengers fanfic

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Tony:

Once Peter had fallen asleep, Clint snuck into the bedroom, with a slip of paper in his hands.

''Shhhh, I just got him to fall asleep!'' He whispered.

''Sorry, I, my gosh he's adorable!''

''I know right!'' Tony agreed, looking at Peter fondly. ''I think... he almost called me Dad.''

''What! Tony that's amazing!''

''Keep it down!'' Tony whisper yelled. He watched as Peter stirred slightly but remained asleep. Phew. ''Anyway, I said almost. He stopped himself and then said Tony.''

''Is it just me, or are you actually upset?''

''What? No, I just-''

''Love the kid to death and want more than anything for him to think of you as a father? I know Ton's.''

He definitely loved the kid to death. That had already been established. But everyone kept telling him he was Peter's dad, and suddenly, he wanted more. It wasn't enough just being a fatherly figure to Peter. He wanted to tease the kid about his crushes, but then be the one to help him get ready for his first date. He wanted to make Peter smile, he wanted to be the one he would come to when he's had a bad day. He wanted more than anything to be his dad. He loved Peter. He always had. From the moment Peter walked into that room, in that tiny apartment.

''Tony? You there?''

Tony shook his head and planted a smirk back on his face. ''Yeah, I'm here. What's up?''

''Me and the team made this for you. A little inspiration, to keep you going.''

Tony eyed the sheet of paper curiously, but waved his hands when Clint tried to give it to him. ''I don't like being handed things.''

Clint raised an eyebrow but didn't question him. Instead he placed it on the nightstand. Tony leaned over to read it. ''So, you all made this together?''

''Minus Banner, yes.''

''Why?''

''We were bored. There's nothing to do around here Stark. '' He grinned.

''You tell your kid you love them without even thinking about it.'' He couldn't help but smile at that. '' I said it to him earlier. It just came out; I wasn't even planning it.''

''Are you serious? And I missed it?''

''Like I said. I wasn't planning it. If I were, I would've made sure there was a big audience.'' He looked back down at the list. ''You can't wait to show off your kid's school pictures. Oh, you can bet their going right up on the fridge. Do you think I could buy a frame made entirely of gold? Wait, I'm Tony Stark. I could probably make a frame entirely of gold.''

Clint was looking at something on the floor, that Tony couldn't see. He suddenly pulled out a pen, grabbed the list, and scribbled something on it. He smirked, when he noticed Tony starring at Peter. He didn't even see Clint write anything down. ''Everything alright?''

'Yeah sorry, where were we? Right, you take photos and videos of your kid all the time. You put these photos on your work desk for display. '' He could already picture his house filled with pictures of Peter. ''You can recite all the lines of their favorite movies. I swear Clint, that kid could watch Star Wars every day of his life.''

''You better have them memorized by Monday.''

''At this rate, I'll probably have them down by Sunday.''

Clint scowled. What was that all about? ''You're nervous about their first date.'' I'm definitely not nervous about that. Should I be? Suddenly his head was filled with everything wrong that could happen. What if they found out he was Spiderman? What if Peter got hurt? What if he got stood up? He glanced at the list. And his heart stopped. ''Give the talk? Really? ''

''Aye, someone's got to tell them. '' Clint smirked.

''You're kidding me, right? You really don't think he knows?'' Him and Peter were close enough to have that kind of talk, but that didn't mean it would be fun. For either of them.

''Peter? I doubt it, as smart as he is, he's way to innocent.''

Great. Just great.

''Just wondering, when you do give it to him, do you plan on having an audience. Cause I would love to see this.''

''No way.'' That was not happening. ''You've started buying magnets to display your kids school papers on the fridge. You stay up late helping your kid with a forgotten homework project, you're actually nervous about how the project went. You're yelling at the referee at their sports. Ha, if Peter ever does decide to do sports. You're all coming to every game.''

''Don't you think people will wonder why the avengers are coming to some random kid's game?''

''He's not some random kid.''

''But they don't know that. They'll definitely get suspicious, and you bet it will be all over the news.''

Clint was right. Again. Tony would have to go public about the adoption sooner rather than later before rumors got around. He decided to wait until Pepper got back, so she could help set up a press meeting or something. ''You find yourself trying to learn what their texting acronyms mean. Who do think I am, Steve? It seems to have slipped your tiny little bird brain, that I am in fact a genius.''

''Sorry, my bad, that was Steve's idea.''

Tony shook his head and carried on. The next item on the list, was much worse than number seven. ''Your kid tells you they hate you at least once.'' He tried to picture Peter saying anything like that, but it was just too hard.

''Yeah, being a parent isn't all fun and games Tony. You and Peter are bound to fight at some point.''

''Thanks for the positive encouragement Barton. You immediately know how to cheer your kid up when they've had a bad day. Your fridge and pantry are stocked with their favorite foods.'' He made a mental note, to get that one. He looked at Peter once more, before deciding to get up to use the restroom. ''You mind staying here for a second? I'll be right back.''

''Yeah no problem.''

''OUCH!''

Clint sniggered. ''Number sixteen, you know you're a parent when you've felt the pain of stepping on a Lego.''

Peter:

Peter was laying on his bunk bed in his apartment. For some reason, everything felt oddly familiar. From the cloudy weather outside, to the light breeze flowing in through the open window. He sat up, alarmed as his senses suddenly went off.

''Peter, I'm leaving for work!'' May called from the hallway.

Wait, this had happened before, and he knew exactly how it ended. ''May wait! You can't go!'' He flung himself from his bed and threw open his door. He charged full speed, to the front door. ''May stop!''

''Goodbye Peter.'' She called again, not even looking at him.

''No! No May, wait! You can't you can't go!'' He cried, desperately, flinging himself at her. He reached for her hand, to pull it from the nob, but he wasn't fast enough. She was already out the door. ''No! May, come back, it's not, it's not safe!'' The world spun, and Peter's cries were drowned out, by the loud whistling wind. Where was that even coming from? His feet found the ground, but instead of meeting with the hardwood floors of the apartment, they met with the hard ground. There was fire all around him, and he had to put a hand up to shield his eyes from the brightness.

''Hello? Hello! May?'' He called. Where am I? His senses went off again, and a loud gunshot was heard from nearby. He turned around and was faced with a building. He gasped when he realized this was the same building his Aunt worked at. Without a second thought, he ran towards the gunshot, falling to his knees when he found May, laying on the ground. Her clothes were covered in ash and stained with blood, that was still flowing. He pressed his hand to the wound, applying pressure to her chest.

''May, May it's me Peter. You have to get up, we can get help, you just have to get up.''

''Peter...'' She breathed, turning to look up at him. Her eyes were filled with pain, that brought tears to his own.

''Come on, May I can get help. Please May please. '' He pleaded.

''Peter... it's... too... late.'' She whispered.

''No, it's not too late. It can't be. I need you. I need you May. Please, don't go.'' He was sobbing now, his hands covered in blood, and ash, from the fire around them.

''You... could've … saved me... Peter. Why didn't you... save me.'' She took one last breath, before her head dropped back to the ground, her eyes still staring at Peter.

''NO! May, please, no! Help! Somebody help!'' He yelled, but everyone ran straight past him, rushing to get away.

The fire grew closer and closer, until he was swallowed in flames. He closed his eyes, until the brightness suddenly disappeared, and the smell of smoke, was replaced with... latex and rubbing alcohol. He was in a hospital room, his Aunt's body lying on the bed. He walked towards her, tears falling from his face. ''May, I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve any of this. I'm so sorry. I can't I can't do this. I need you May.'' His heart was racing, as he sobbed uncontrollably. He held her cold hands and rested his head on the edge of the bed.

''You could've saved me Peter.''

He swore his heart stopped for a minute, as he lifted his head to see May standing in the corner of the room, without a drop of blood on her clothes. Her skin was glowing, and she looked just like... a ghost.

''Why didn't you save me, Peter?''

''M-May, I'm so sorry, I tried, I tried too, it was too late!''

''But you didn't. Did you Peter? You just went back to bed. And now you have to live with the consequences. Now you're all alone.'' Her voice was cold, and harsh, Peter had never heard her talk like that.

''No, no May, I miss you so much. Please, I can't do this without you.'' Over his loud sobs, he could hear, people talking in the other rooms. The voices were getting closer and closer, until there was at least ten people standing in the doorway. A few he noticed were children.

''W-who are these people.''

''These people were all killed in the fire Peter. The fire you could've stopped.'' May explained.

''You could've saved us. You could've saved all of us.''

Peter took a step back, as they started to close in on him.

''This is all your fault Peter. There's no one to save you. You're all alone.'' They all said at once.

''N-no!'' He cried, stumbling backwards. Instead of hitting the ground he fell into someone's arms. He looked up, to see they were Tony's arms, he was at the Tower. He gasped, griping the man's shirt, and sobbing into his chest. To his surprise the man shoved him off.

''What are you doing?''

''I- what?''

''Gosh you're such a mess Parker.''

Peter starred at him, the hurt showing in his eyes. He couldn't believe what was happening. Of all people, he had always thought Tony would be there for him.

''How does it feel Peter? To be all alone.'' Tony asked.

''What? Why are you doing this?''

''I said how does it feel to be all alone! Your parents are dead, Ben's gone, May's gone. You have no family.''

Peter had stopped crying, out of shock. ''I thought... I thought-''

''You thought what? That we were your family?'' Clint laughed, gesturing to Tony and the Avengers. ''You thought we cared about you? Nobody cares about you Peter. You're all alone.''

''No! I'm not alone! Why is everyone telling me that?'' He cried out.

''Oh really?'' Asked Natasha.

''I have... friends.'' He argued.

''That's right. We almost forgot. Steve, Bucky?'' Tony called. Steve walked closer, now holding Ned around the neck. Bucky had Mj, also held around her neck

''Peter! Help us!'' Mj screamed, kicking her legs frantically.

''Let them go! Stop you're hurting them!'' Peter tried to yell but his voice was weak from crying. To his horror, they both grinned and held them tighter, their faces turning purple as choking sounds escaped their throats. Peter ran across the room, but before he could get to them, they fell to the ground.

''No!''

''Now you're all alone.''

Peter fell to the ground, sobbing so hard. His ribs ached and he felt sick. The world turned, and he jolted awake.

Tony:

Hey, Tony, I think somethings wrong.'' Clint whispered, as Tony walked back into the room.

''What do you mean somethings wrong?''

''I don't know he keeps whimpering. He sounds kind of like a scared puppy.''

Tony sat back down on the bed; his forehead creased in concern. ''Peter, Peter wake up!'' Peter woke with a gasp, noticed Tony sitting next to him, and made that face he always made when he wanted a hug. Tony wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in so that the side of his head was right below Tony's shoulder.

Peter started crying, and Tony noticed, that Peter was one of the few people he knew, that looked cute when they were crying. His eyes were red, but not puffy. Even his sobs sounded cute. What was happening to him!

''Peter, it's okay. It's okay. Can you tell me what happened? Was it the same dream?''

''N-no, it was worse. May s-she left, and I couldn't stop her. Then I was at the building and- and there was fire everywhere. I tried to help her, but it was too l-late. Then I was at the hospital and she told me it as my fault. That I could've saved her, I could've saved everyone Tony. ''

''Peter, honey it's not your fault.''

''Then you were there, and, and all the Avengers, you were all telling me I was all alone. That I had no family left. That nobody cared about me. Everyone told me I was all alone. Tony, I'm so scared, I lose everyone I love, and half the time it's my own fault. I don't want to be alone, I'm so scared. Can you please just tell me I'm not alone.''

''You're not alone, Pete you're not alone.'' His heart ached for Peter. The poor kid was terrified. He was crying so hard; he was going to make himself sick, if he didn't calm down. He pulled him closer, then made eye contact with Clint. He jerked his head towards the headphones, on Peter's nightstand. Clint handed them to him, and he put them on Peter. He grabbed his phone and typed in a song. ''You're okay, just listen.''

Did you lose what won't return?
Did you love but never learn?
The fire's out but still it burns
And no one cares, there's no one there

Did you find it hard to breathe?
Did you cry so much that you could barely see?
You're in the darkness all alone
And no one cares, there's no one there

But did you see the flares in the sky?
Were you blinded by the light?
Did you feel the smoke in your eyes?
Did you, did you?
Did you see the sparks filled with hope?
You are not alone
Cause someone's out there, sending out flares

By the end of the song, his sobs turned to sniffles. ''I love you kiddo. And nothing is ever going to change that. Got it?''

Peter nodded and wiped his eyes with the tissue Clint handed him. His eyes widened as he looked towards the doorway. Tony followed his gaze, and saw the entire team standing in Peter's room. ''How long have you guys been standing there?''

''Long enough.'' Bucky replied.

''Tony's right Peter you're not alone. We're all here for you. We all care about you.'' Steve informed.

''Yeah, we may not be related to you, but we will always be your family.'' Natasha's tone was gentle but serious.

''Yeah, think us as your super cool uncles. '' Clint grinned. ''Except for Nat. Don't think of her as your super cool uncle. That would be weird.''

Peter laughed.

''Hey, there's that smile!'' Steve couldn't help but also smile, at the boy's lighthearted giggle.

''I think this kiddo needs some ice cream.'' Rhodey claimed.

Peter, who was still being literally held by Tony, tipped his head back so he was looking straight at Tony.

''What?'' Tony asked, brushing back Peter's hair, making him smile even bigger.

''I just love you.''

''Awwwww'' Said, Bucky, Clint, Steve, Nat, Bruce, and Rhodey.

''You're just sucking up to me, so I'll let you have ice cream.''

''No, really I love you Tony.''

Tony's heart swelled. ''I love you too buddy.''

Peter was grinning now. No matter how many times Tony said that, he would never get used to it. ''Just to be clear, I can still have ice cream, right?''

''Knock yourself out Kiddo. Not literally, though. Please.''

Peter jumped up and followed Rhodey and everyone to the kitchen. Tony and Rhodey scooped it out, and soon everyone was eating ice cream, in the lounge. Peter hadn't even finished half his bowl, when he started spacing out. Tony took the bowl from his hands and handed it to Bruce. ''Mind putting that away?''

''No problem.''

''You tired buddy?''

''Yeah. Can you play with my hair again?''

Tony laughed at the odd request, but leaned back against the couch arm, pulled Peter against his chest and brushed his back.

Peter:

Peter looked around the room. Steve and Bucky had fallen asleep, holding hands on the loveseat. Clint was asleep on the other couch, with Nat's head on his shoulder. Rhodey and Bruce were both knocked out and snoring in armchairs. He had never felt safer, surrounded by his family, and with Tony still brushing his hair back gently, he finally fell asleep.

Tony smiled at the kid asleep on his chest and closed his eyes too. Everyone had fallen asleep to the same song Tony put on for Peter. He figured, if Peter fell asleep listening to it, he could probably hear it in his sleep.

Did you lose what won't return?
Did you love but never learn?
The fire's out but still it burns
And no one cares, there's no one there

Did you find it hard to breathe?
Did you cry so much that you could barely see?
You're in the darkness all alone
And no one cares, there's no one there

But did you see the flares in the sky?
Were you blinded by the light?
Did you feel the smoke in your eyes?
Did you, did you?
Did you see the sparks filled with hope?
You are not alone
'Cause someone's out there, sending out flares

Did you break but never mend?
Did it hurt so much you thought it was the end?
Lose your heart but don't know when
And no one cares, there's no one there

-Flares by The Script

I just absolutely love this song, and I thought it was perfect for this! Please review!