Chapter Two

"I won't say it again, miss. I'll take you as far as Whiterun. My horse hasn't got a journey that long in him, these days."

I could have yelled and yelled at the wagon driver, with his cheeks blooming vermilion and his weary voice. I wasn't one to get riled so easily, but I couldn't afford to spend a night in Whiterun. I could barely even afford a ride there. Not to mention, I had no desire to make the trek north from the city to Morthal. It wasn't the longest distance, but there was no telling what terrors lurked in those hills. It wasn't a safe journey for a lone woman.

"Can't you just rest a while when we get there? And then leave in the afternoon? I'll pay you as much as I can." My voice had grown weak. My mother would have told me to quit whining.

The man averted his eyes, and his gaze turned cold. I could see the muscle in his jaw popping up and down as he clenched his teeth. For a moment I thought he would swear at me, or tell me to get lost. "There will be another wagon in Whiterun. Get a ride to Morthal from there. I have a family to get back to, you know. I can't spend a week driving some girl all over Skyrim. I hardly even give rides farther than Ivarstead. Most of the folk here know that...but I'm assuming you're not from around here."

I crossed my arms. It was getting colder and colder, the wind sharp and icy, the sky deepening to charcoal. If I wasted any more time he would probably start telling me he wouldn't take me anywhere in the middle of a blizzard. There was a sinking feeling in my chest, and a nasty ache in my throat. "I can't afford another wagon, sir. I can hardly afford one."

"I'm sorry, miss. I'll take you far as Whiterun or I won't take you anywhere."

I counted out my coins and poured them into his hands. While he stuffed them into his coin purse I pulled my cloak tighter around my shoulders and scrambled into the back of the wagon. The horse let out a loud snort and shook, his harness thumping against his sides as snow blew off of his back. Without a word the driver clucked to the animal and we set off, the wheels rattling beneath us on the icy road. I couldn't help it - I choked out a quiet sob, careless as to whether the man heard it or not. A certain hopelessness had settled within me. I wanted to reel it out of me and leave it behind, where it belonged, but I knew that I couldn't. I thought of my mother. It was only the early hours of the morning, and the sun was fresh in the sky. People were only just beginning to awaken and leave their homes for the day. My mother would be making my father breakfast, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. He had only recently become the guard captain and no longer had to work in the later hours of the night. The two of them would be making quiet small talk, about the weather or town gossip. The fire would be snapping and crackling, spitting embers, and my mother would say something about my father having put too much wood on it. He always woke up before her. I was the youngest, my brother having left home years earlier. I would still be in bed at that time, if I was home, but most mornings my parents' conversation and movement roused me from sleep, and I would lay there listening to the words they shared until both of them left for work. By then I would already be half-asleep, the thud of the door being the last thing I would hear before drifting off. I couldn't say that I missed it quite yet. I'd been itching for a sense of freedom for a while. But I couldn't help but feel desperately alone, a thing I had once been content with. I wondered, for a moment, if my parents were talking about me over breakfast, their only daughter, all alone out in the world somewhere. I wondered if they worried at all.

I had fallen asleep somewhere near the mill west of Windhelm. When I finally woke up I asked the driver where we were and he muttered something about being north of Ivarstead. I had to piss terribly, but I suspected that if I mentioned anything about it to the man he would just grumble even more. I doubted he would even bother to stop, so I crossed my legs and waited. Thankfully it was much warmer where we were, unlike Eastmarch, which was almost painfully cold that particular morning. Everything was soaked from the snow that had piled in the wagon and then melted. My dress, my hair, my pitiful sack of belongings. My fur shoes were sopping wet, even after I rang them out. In all honesty, it was miserable.

The area was quite pretty. Wooded, but still rather open in the direction we were going, the land a rich golden. A stream sang nearby, the water calm and frothy. The mountains to the south were massive, almost intimidating in their size. I had never seen anything like it. Just ahead of the wagon on the cobbled road a doe stood with her nose to the west. She was impressive and large, her hide a deep copper, and between her hind legs hung a dark, glossy udder. Before long a leggy fawn stumbled out of the bushes. It trailed behind its mother then latched onto a teat. Even from a distance I could see the milk dribbling off of its chin. The wagon slowed to a stop and I watched the horse's ears perk forward, his entire body tensing at the sight of the creatures. The driver spoke up. "Get on, you two." The deer darted away, disappearing into the trees on the other side of the road.

A half hour or so passed and there was still no city in sight, no village or homestead. It seemed that we were in the middle of nowhere. I sorted through my things, bored and checking what I did and didn't have. I had two spare dresses, one of which had been my mother's and was too large in the chest. I had a small loaf of bread and another half that I had nibbled on, as well as some dried meat wrapped in paper that I had bought on my way out of Windhelm. That was all of my food. I had managed to fit the old alchemy book Ingun had given me into my sack, as well as a pouch of certain plants and other ingredients I had gathered in the past month. Lastly, I'd brought along a wooden comb and a small mirror that had been a gift from my mother many years ago. The frame was bronze, the glass murky with age. I could still easily make out my reflection, which I examined sadly. I had never considered myself a very pretty girl. My mother described me as handsome. Of course, there were days when I felt more beautiful than others, but the past week had not been of that sort. There were dark bags under my eyes, and my tawny hair was frizzy and slick at the part with grease. I had tied it into a bun at the nape of my neck, hoping to conceal how disheveled it was, but it didn't do me much good. My forehead was shiny and speckled with blemishes. I needed a bath. I had never taken easily to my identity - often I felt like I didn't have one. My mother was a Breton, from Wayrest, and my father was a Nord, though an unusual one, and unlike most in Skyrim. He'd married a Breton woman, afterall. I didn't quite pass for a Breton, although when asked my race that was what I typically claimed. I was small, hardly over five feet, and had some of my mother's rounder facial features, however I had the sharper jawline and noble nose of my Nord father, along with my lighter hair and golden eyes. On that particular day, however, I swear I could have passed for any old hag.

I couldn't manage it any longer. "Do you mind stopping for a moment?" The man cocked his head toward me, his brow furrowed, and reined the horse into a halt.

"I won't look."

I stepped out of the wagon and walked into the woods on the left side of the road, searching for a place completely out of view of the carriage and its driver. I found a cluster of trees not far from the road and crouched within them, lifting my dress. I had almost finished pissing when I heard the unmistakable thudding of footsteps and rustling of armor. I glanced over, hoping it was only a deer, but there stood four Imperial soldiers, their faces taut with smirks. I shrieked and jumped to my feet, warm piss trickling down my leg into my shoe. My face went hot and numb. I couldn't utter a word, only stared like a scared doe.

The soldier in the finer armor, who I could only assume was the leader of the group, spoke first. "Are you lost, miss?"

I narrowed my eyes, my cheeks still warm with embarrassment. "No, I have a wagon waiting for me back on the road. You shouldn't creep up on a woman like that, you know." I scanned over each of the men. They were all young, most appearing to be in their early twenties or even younger. The slightest of them all, who couldn't have been older than myself, had a rabbit slung over his shoulder. There was a dark, bloody hole in its armpit.

"Hmm. Where are you headed?"

"What does it matter?" He was silent. "Whiterun."

He chuckled, glancing back at his partners. "Funny, so are we. Who are you traveling with?"

I had begun to walk back to the road, but the men trailed after me, the talkative one at my side. I glanced up at him. He was tall and blue eyed, with sandy hair and freckles scattered over his nose. He wasn't as fair skinned as most Nords I knew, but I couldn't imagine him being anything else. He towered over me. "No one. I'm alone."

He furrowed his brow, looking me up and down. "Aren't you a bit young to be traveling by yourself? What are you, fifteen? Sixteen?"

I didn't meet his eyes, only scoffed. "Wouldn't you like to know?" He said nothing, confused. "You're off. By a few."

We came upon my wagon and I stopped in my tracks, facing the man and folding my arms over my chest. "Is there something I can help you with? I should really be on my way."

He looked down at me and listened but didn't say a word. For a moment we stared at each other, until the wagon driver caught sight of all of the men that had followed me out of the woods. I couldn't help but feel tense. They were soldiers, and had to be on some important duty, but I couldn't help but feel suspicious of how friendly they were being, and how concerned they were about where I was going and who I was with.

The driver raised a hand, grinning. "Good afternoon, soldiers!"

The tall one nodded back at him, smiling, and walked up to the cart. They exchanged a few words before he turned back on his men. "We'll follow these two to the city. Keep them out of trouble."

"That's awfully kind of you fellows. Thank you, son. These roads can certainly be perilous." The driver nodded to the tall soldier and smiled warmly.

I was baffled. I wasn't sure how I felt about being trailed by four strange men for the next hour or so. I closed my eyes for a moment and prayed that their intentions weren't bad, that they weren't a pack of bandits in the armor of four dead Imperial soldiers. I cursed to myself. I hated the way my mind ran and ran sometimes. It soured my blood. I suppose that was one way I took after my mother.

The soldiers fell into place behind the wagon, the tall one sending a smile my way. I climbed back into the wagon and felt for my coin purse in my sack of belongings. To my relief it was in the same place it had always been, and was still half-empty. I sighed and sank back into the wooden wall of the cart, staring up at the wide periwinkle sky. Against the mountains it faded to lilac, and when I turned my head I could see the golden roofs and high stone walls of what could only be Whiterun, and how the sky settled to silver over the top of it. There was a faint flutter in my chest, and I released a sigh of relief. It wasn't Morthal quite yet, but it was something. Not to mention, I hadn't been to the city since I was only a little girl, and I didn't remember it particularly well. I knew from my mother, who had recently visited the famous and newly restored Gildergreen, that it was very beautiful, and the summer weather was wonderful, and the people were very kind. I wasn't sure if any of that was true, but I imagined it was. It wasn't often that my mother spoke so fondly of something. It was only the early afternoon, so I assumed I would be able to leave for Morthal not long after I arrived in Whiterun and be there before it got too dark. I was still unsure. I had never traveled alone before. The thought sent a nasty chill down my spine. I always found myself thinking of the worst. A part of me wanted to do it just to prove to myself that it was fine after all.

Before long we were passing the farms that dotted the outskirts of the town, the wagon driver waving politely to citizens while the soldiers behind us nodded their greetings. I avoided eye contact with anyone, keeping my eyes lowered to my lap when I could. At least my clothing had finally dried out. When we pulled up alongside the stables I immediately rose to my feet and went to step off of the cart, clutching my bag at my side. Before I could even begin to jump down the tall soldier had rushed over and insisted on helping me out. I let him take my hand as I hopped out but pulled it away the second my feet touched the ground. I thanked the driver and set off toward the city, but found the soldier at my side yet again. He was like a tick.

"Do you mind if I ask your name?"

I sighed, walking faster. "Don't you have something important to do here?"

He grinned, letting out a dry chuckle. "Well, yes, but if I do that now I'll just spend the whole time wondering who that girl was."

I slowed for a moment and looked up at him. "Emmaline. You have to tell me yours, now."

"Emmaline...I see. I'm Leif." I stayed quiet and kept walking, nodding and smiling to the guards that opened the city gates for the two of us. The other three soldiers weren't far behind us. "Are you going to say what you're doing here? Or is it a secret?"

The city truly was beautiful. It was as if it had its very own sun. Everything was golden and bright, every patch of land thick with flora and fauna. Each building was lovely and unique, the architecture unlike anything I had ever seen, especially in Riften. Leif didn't appear to be nearly as in awe of all of it as I was. I was certain it wasn't his first time in the city.

Finally I answered him, while still trying to admire everything around me. "I'm not doing anything here, really. It's Morthal I'm headed for. I have to leave in the next hour or so. I'm only going to get a bit of food for the road."

He furrowed his brow. "I see. Why didn't you just take the carriage you were already on?"

I shook my head. "I can't afford that. I'll have to walk."

"You're joking. That will take you hours. You won't even be there until tomorrow morning, if you live to see it. Do you have any idea of the things that have been going on in those hills?"

"Yes, I've considered all of this." I had no idea what he was talking about when he mentioned the things happening in the hills. A part of me didn't even want to know. With the way his voice broke when he said it, I could only assume that it was something horrible.

"Let me buy you a room at the inn. You can leave in the morning. I'll get you a wagon then, too." He sounded eager, as if the thought of helping some poor clueless girl he hardly knew would give him all the satisfaction he needed.

I shot a glare at him, stopping in the street to look him in the eye. "I don't need your charity. I don't even know you."

He scoffed. "Well, my apologies for trying to keep you alive. You're not making a very smart decision."

"Why don't you leave me be?"

He set off after me once more. I was getting more and more irritated. I glanced at a guard while the two of us were bickering, hoping he might intervene, but he averted his gaze and let us be. Leif spoke up once more. "I'll get you a wagon out of town today. Let me do that, at least."

I shook my head at him, then hurried away, my skirt hiked up to my shins. I left him standing there alone, shaking his head and glaring after me. I couldn't help but notice that his sword arm was hovering at his hip, long fingers tracing the hilt of his blade as he watched me go.

At the Bannered Mare I purchased more dried meat and bread. I couldn't afford anything else. As I left the city I considered the fact that I had no weapon, not even a tiny dagger. I was defenseless. I tried not to think about it as I made my way north. There was no turning back now. To the west, the skyline was turning salmon-pink, the glow warm and gentle against the silver sky. I had only an hour or two until the sun went down. I had passed a Khajiit caravan just down the road from the stable. I had nodded a greeting to them, and they purred their own in return. If only they'd been heading the other direction; I could have trailed after them, so I would at least not be entirely alone. An unfamiliar dread was settling in my stomach, dark and heavy. I couldn't stop thinking of my brother, how one morning my parents and I had woken up to find him gone without a trace, his wardrobe emptied, at least one hundred gold missing from my father's things. We hadn't known then, but he'd left to join the rebels. He'd known boys around town who were leaving as well, having finally come of age and hit some sort of wall of independence. I wondered if he'd left all alone, as I had. I wished I could have asked him if he'd felt as afraid as I did, with the way the open sky seemed to be falling down on me. I had never been as brave as my brother.

Past the guard tower, a road sign told me to keep heading west if Morthal was my destination, which was also the direction of a place called Rorikstead. Briefly I considered heading that way instead. I could grab a room at an inn and stay one night, then leave in the morning. Before I could act on it I recalled my nearly empty coin purse. The thought of even trying to bargain with an innkeeper for a room for one night was embarrassing. It was late in Second Seed, so the nights weren't terribly cold in that part of the providence, but I still found myself pulling my cloak closer and closer around my body with each step, and tossing my hood up so that it shadowed my eyes. The cobblestone beneath my shoes was ancient, I realized, the longer I trained my eyes on it. There were marks in it that had been there centuries, blood spatter sealed black. I thought of how many girls had walked the road alone before me, unarmed and shaking in their boots, trying to convince themselves that the distant crooning of wolves was only the wind.

At last night fell. The sky was black, apart from the magical swirl of colors streaked across the middle like paint. The two moons hung side by side like a brother and sister. I had not seen another soul since the caravan I'd passed an hour earlier, and I was reassuring myself that it was a good thing. The road was lonely for now. That was better than bandits roaming, or vampires, like the ones my father told stories about, or simply bad men. However, that did mean that if a wolf took me down and left me for dead, there would be no one to stumble upon me and save my life. I would be nothing more than another abandoned corpse in the morning, for the animals to pick apart or for a morning patrol of guards to carry into town slung over a shoulder. They'd toss me in the Hall of the Dead with nothing more than a scoff about foolishness. My parents would never know.

A massive orange glow burned in the distance, and I paused to stare into the night and see what it was. It wasn't until I heard a rumbling groan and the thump of a mammoth's step that I realized it was a giant's camp. I had seen only one before in my travels, while passing through the hot springs outside of Riften on my way north. I would never forget the way my heart pounded as the wagon drew closer to them, how at first sight of the beasts the horse spooked so hard that I was certain he would take off at a gallop and we would be done for. The creatures I saw now were no different. One of the giants laid on his back, gargantuan arms folded across his pale chest. I did not have a particularly good view, but I assumed he was asleep. The other one walked at a leisurely pace back and forth in front of the fire. I wondered what language they spoke, and what it sounded like, if they even had one at all. Perhaps they spoke the same language as the rest of us little people, the ones that danced around their feet and slayed their pets and family for meat and leather.

I had walked only a short ways when the most horrible sound rang through the night. It was not that of any wolf or bear, and was too savage to be that of any man. It was a cry that stopped me dead in my tracks, and turned my blood to ice in a matter of seconds. It could have resembled the howl of a wolf, or the roar of a bear or cougar, but there was something about it that was far too similar to the bellow of man, but a man that could not have been a man any longer, a man who was reaching through this world into the depths of another, tasting blood on the air and reaching within himself for more. I could have run, I should have run, but I could only think of my dear brother as I stood there scared to the bone, could only see the face of my lovely father, my precious mother.

For a moment there was only white hot pain, the blood that seemed to rise from my belly and fill my ears, and a ringing like choir bells, my mother's hands clasped in front of her breast at Mara's bare feet. In the woods, all those years ago, my brother stretched a bowstring back to his ear, despite it being empty of an arrow, and let it fly. I rolled onto my belly and released a jagged cry, sprinted barefoot back to my grandmother's cabin with hot tears streaming down my pink face. I was certain he had shot me, thought I would look down once I was safe and see it there in my side, my dress soaked in blood. But the pain I felt was not that of a shot from my own brother's hand. There was no arrow to rip out, no bloody hole to tend to. The moss under my feet had been very soft, like a fine rug. I had no one to run to once I returned to the cabin, no shoulder to cry into despite the relief that flooded my body when I'd looked down at myself and seen that I was unharmed. I could not find anyone, but I could hear my brother picking his way through the forest, calling the dog. I could only hide. I crept into the barn and slid my tiny body between a haystack and the wall. For hours I waited there, hours and hours.

The beast had slung its arm over me from behind, torn me open from my breast to my throat. In the worst of it, my head lolled back and I saw into its eyes, deep and black like pits in its dark fur. In time there was no pain, and I settled into a sleep far away from all of it, where I bathed in a dark stone hall that had to have been made for royalty. Rebel banners adorned the high walls, tall and azure. Somewhere, on the other side of the towering bronze door, my brother called my name. Over and over he called to me, and I sank deeper into the water until only my eyes peered over the surface. From something deep inside of me there came blood, and the water turned red. I began to thrash, only to sink down even farther until I was submerged, my eyes burning. I could no longer hear my brother. When I thought I was certainly drowned, two bare arms broke the surface, ropy and taut with brawn. Slender, filthy hands took me by the waist. When I finally left the water the air was thin and sweet. I felt like a babe, bloody and fresh from the womb.

This was kind of long, sorry. The first chapter is always so satisfying to write and comes out so easily but then it's like oh...I guess I have to write another one don't I? I'm excited for where this is going, though.