Thank you to Kellin Lamperouge for your wonderful review! It reminded me to upload some more of my works to this site! ^^

A/N 24/08/2020: I'm excited to share my 4th fic with you all! ^^

The title is taken from ''Sucker' by the Jonas Brothers.

There was another song that heavily inspired me while writing this, but sadly enough I couldn't find a good clip anywhere on youtube -.- So I guess I can only share the first one.

"I'm a sucker for you. You say the word and I'll go anywhere blindly."

Enjoy! ^^

Tanaka Ryuunosuke possesses one of the most jumbled brains Ennoshita has ever come across. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just… different. And it can be kind of difficult, if he's being honest.

When Ennoshita met the current ace for the first time, he'd been annoyed by the way Tanaka's thoughts seemed to bounce around like Ping-Pong balls; utterly uncontrolled and messy when compared to the way Chikara handles life himself. That annoyance had vanished over time – making place for a quiet amusement whenever the topic of his friend's ranting changes from frogs to bananas without a clear indication again. Conversations with Tanaka never bore, even if you have to make sure to follow the swift way he jumps from subject to subject, enabling you to tell him what he was talking about when he inevitably loses his train of thought after a while.

Sadly enough, not everyone has the patience or understanding for conversations like these, even if Tanaka is really fun to listen to, most of the time. Where Ennoshita hears a bright mind, talking about things that interest him and following wherever his mind goes, other people go insane from the weird jumps in Ryuu's storytelling and the unexpected way he'll jump back to a topic he was talking about nearly half an hour ago.

Chikara knows that people get mad sometimes. He hears about it mostly from Yuu, sometimes from Kinoshita too. On really bad days, he doesn't even need them telling him to notice. If Ryuu is anything, he's honest; the way his eyes turn dull and how he starts trying to pull his hair a clear indication that something's wrong to the people who know how to read him.

Chikara knows that Ryuu accepts this, though. Accepts that some people are just plain idiots who get angry about stupid things, and who fail to realize how long their words will keep turning and echoing in the mind of a boy who thinks of everything within two minutes and then bounces off to other subjects again. Tanaka has stated in the past that 'it doesn't bother him that much, these days', but Ennoshita can't take it to heart, even though he knows he should. It pisses. him. off. whenever someone bothers one of his friends, and he's been feeling oddly protective of Tanaka as of late, even though he knows that his friend can handle himself just fine. It's just that this particular type of assholery really rubs him the wrong way. It infuriates him whenever they open their mouth – like he can sense their idiocy even before the words leave their mouths. Idiots like the one currently mumbling about Ryuu while the ace is talking animatedly to Nishinoya.

They had all been listening to Kenzo's story at first, but the ace got distracted fairly quickly and is currently trying to fill in Yuu on a new training program Ennoshita and he are trying to develop. According to Yuu's small frown, the explanation isn't going as smoothly as Ryuu would have liked.

Despite the level of enthusiasm those two seem to share at all times, even Nishinoya fails to follow the speed and randomness of Tanaka's stories on occasion. Chikara has had to teach himself not to interrupt whenever something like that happens. He's heard Tanaka complain one too many times about the annoyance of understanding a concept, but being unable to explain it in a clear way to others. He's got to let him try, at the very least. They'll get there in the end. And if not – it's not like Ennoshita and Ukai won't repeat the explanation when practice starts tomorrow.

Still, even Tanaka's excited voice and large gesticulations aren't enough to distract Ennoshita from Kenzo's voice behind him. Nishinoya and Tanaka had been adamant that they take Kenzo & Fūjin with them to the arcade. Ennoshita fails to see how their so-called 'awesomeness' correlates to the tone Kenzo is currently using to talk about Ryuu.

"Does he ever just fucking stop?"

Fūjin laughs at the grumbling. "Don't think so, no."

Ennoshita frowns, but holds himself back by reminding himself that, a long time ago, maybe he'd have thought the same.

"He just keeps on yapping, Jesus Christ. Like anyone can understand him with the way he says every shitty thing he comes up with. I know he's not a bad guy and all, but damn, I-"

'It's not true.' Chikara hisses internally. His cheeks are slowly warming as he listens to the boys laughing behind him. He's not even sure if they're truly being mean, so commenting on it might be an overreaction. After all, he doesn't know them that well yet. 'Still, they're wrong.' Chikara thinks stubbornly. 'Tanaka's habit of spouting all his thoughts often makes it clearer to others what he's really thinking. When he tries to filter out the unnecessary parts, he leaves out the wrong things and gets even more confusing. Maybe they're just stupid…'

Fūjin's laughter raises in volume as Kenzo goes on, causing Nishinoya and Ryuu to turn around, curious. Kenzo doesn't notice this, kicking a small rock and continuing; "and if he isn't jabbering, his fidgeting is out of control. I swear – my fucking cousin can sit still longer than him and she's 2 years old!"

Ennoshita flinches as the relaxed smile drops off Tanaka's face, making way for a horrible expression. The hurt in Ryuu's eyes is nothing compared to the fire currently burning in Nishinoya's gaze, though.

"Fidgety stuff is a nervous habit. Ryuu is just bored by your story, he's not a coward." Yuu's voice is as airy as ever, his calm smile belying the disgust-filled stare he's currently directing at Kenzo. Ryuu's right hand flies to his buzz cut as he stares unhappily at his supposed new friends from behind the libero's back.

It's almost physically painful to see him like this. Tanaka is never one to remain quiet, but he has a hard time whenever friends are involved. When it's him people have a problem with. Ennoshita moves to stand next to him, tapping Tanaka's wrist subtly to get him to stop trying to pull on the short tufts of his hair. He turns back in time to see Kenzo glowering at Nishinoya with a face as red as the ugly sweater he's wearing.

Chikara lifts an eyebrow as the boys remain silent – the tension slowly rising as other people inside the arcade keep laughing and shouting around them. He wonders if he should have been the one who said something. Something about this whole thing doesn't feel right… Aside from the obvious, of course.

"Well it's true, isn't it?" Kenzo eventually spits out. His gaze shoots to Tanaka – so fast it's nearly unnoticeable, and for a second he looks almost apologetic, but the expression is gone the next time he blinks.

"I thought he was kinda alright at first, but he never knows when to stop. It's a wonder he has friends at all, if he's like this constantly." His agitated gaze flits from Tanaka, to Ennoshita, to Yuu, who has balled his fists. "I'm starting to go insane when he's around – he doesn't let anyone else think or say anything – what kind of friend does that? And don't fucking look at me like that! You know him, you know I'm right!"

From his position next to Tanaka, Ennoshita is unable to see Nishinoya's face, but he isn't surprised when one of Kenzo's friends steps back in alarm at the libero's expression.

"You know-" Kenzo sighs. "I'm kinda impressed by the fact you could handle his bullshit for so long. It must've been hard. Nothing against you, Tanaka – but we're off. You two can come with, if you want to, though." He smiles in what he clearly thinks is an inviting way, but all it does is make Ennoshita want to throw him and his squad onto the nearest train tracks.

He's so angry that he's faintly trembling, and he clenches his fists in a last-ditch effort to try and calm himself down. The level of verbal crap he just had to endure in under a minute time, is so enormous that he's unable to say anything at all – struck dumb by the utter stupidity of Kenzo's claims. His breathing is quick and shallow. 'If that idiot tries to say one more word, I'll-'

Ennoshita jumps forward the second he sees Kenzo take a breath for what will no doubt be another offensive comment, but he doesn't get far. The moment he steps forward, a hand clenches around his wrist, holding him back. Tanaka looks vaguely sick as he stares at his 'friends', his knuckles are white around Ennoshita's wrist.

"Let's go, Chika. Yuu."

Ennoshita lets himself be carted off without looking back at the group behind him. If there's one positive thing he can think of right now, it's that Tanaka doesn't seem to doubt for a second that his friends will come with him.

None of them speak as they leave the building. They hesitate for a second in the entryway before turning left, towards Nishinoya's house. Chikara's gaze shoots towards Yuu for a second, hopeful that the libero will say something meaningful – something uplifting that will still fit the situation, as it is one of his many strengths. But Nishinoya seems lost in thought, the fingers of his balled fists twitching now and then as if he'd rather have put them in Kenzo's face instead of in his pockets.

His eyes flit to Tanaka next – a decision he regrets the second he makes it. Tanaka looks horrible. All the usual excitement and vibrancy has left his expression. He doesn't really look sad – instead he looks empty; like a wax statue at a museum, maybe. There must be something Ennoshita can say, right? Even anger would be better than this.

When a couple of minutes of frantic thinking don't supply a clear solution, he decides to simply ask.

"Ryuu…?"

Tanaka gives the tiniest nod – a sign that he's listening.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Or be distracted?" Ennoshita adds in an afterthought.

"Distraction."

Ennoshita throws a helpless gaze at Noya again, but the libero is still clenching his jaw so hard that Chikara worries for his teeth. "Well… Did you know Wombats poop cubes?"

"What?"

Tanaka stops so abruptly that Ennoshita nearly collides into him, both him and Noya staring at Chikara. "Euh", Ennoshita says intelligently, staring at them a little insecure.

"You thought the best way to cheer me up was by starting a conversation about animal feces?" Tanaka huffs, his light frown bending into a grin, mirrored on his right by Yuu. "Listen," says Ennoshita, as his face floods with colour under their scrutiny, "it just was the first thing that came to mind. I've been babysitting my neighbour's kid, and he likes to read books about-"

Tanaka's answering laughter isn't as loud as his usual guffaws, but it isn't weak or fake either. "You got any more of those interesting facts ready, Chika?"

In the end, he's happy he decided to talk about animal shit, Chikara thinks, as they continue walking – a large part of the tension now melted away from their group. Everyone knew that Nishinoya gets upset sometimes, intense as the libero is in all aspects of life, but wasn't like Tanaka to be disheartened – so Ennoshita told him each and every thing that came to mind, until the only tears threatening to come out were those of laughter.

"Hey Chikara. Do you, euhm… You got some time? To talk?"

"Hey…" Ennoshita doesn't even have it in him to feel ashamed about how breathy his voice gets in relief when he hears that Tanaka sounds more or less okay. He'd been wondering all evening whether he should call his friend or leave him be.

"-yeah, sure. I wasn't doing anything, really", Chikara says, pushing his math homework to a faraway corner of his bed. He puts his phone on speaker before quickly crawling to the centre of his mattress – crossing his legs before letting himself fall back into his pillows with an audible 'thump'. He can finish the rest of his work later.

"What's up?"

"Dunno… Just wanted to talk and stuff."

"Ah…" Ennoshita squints up at his bedroom lights, searching for something interesting to say. It's oddly terrifying how quickly a silence can become painful like this.

"You know-", he starts, breaking under the awkward tension right at the same moment when Tanaka starts to speak again.

"Actually… I'm sorry, this was a dumb idea. I don't know why I called, there's nothing to say about… really- But I just wanted to…. I don't know, this is stupid. I'm sorry for bothering, Chika, I'll just-"

"No, no!" Chikara bolts upright. This whole thing is going even worse than he could have feared, and they haven't even been talking for 5 minutes. "We can totally talk about it, if you want! I'm sorry I was being weird, I didn't know if you wanted me to mention… it or not."

"I…" The second of hesitation seems to stretch on forever.

"Do you want me to distract you again? Cause I can do that… if you want?"

"No, that's okay, I think I'd like to talk about it."

Ennoshita crinkles his nose at the hesitance still audible in Tanaka's voice. Tanaka is a lot of things, but cautious usually isn't one of them.

"So do you… want to vent, then? For me to just listen? Or would you like me to respond?"

"Maybe if you respond at the end, that'll be best."

"Okay, I'll do that, then. Shoot! Tell me everything."

A soft huff sounds on the other side of the phone line – Tanaka's faint amusement palpable. Outside, Ennoshita can hear a bus drive past his house, the sound of wheels running over the asphalt mixing with the sound of Tanaka's breathing as he waits for Ryuu to start talking.

Holding back his opinion, it turns out, is way harder than he thought it would be. Tanaka has been talking for about 20 minutes by now (half of which was some sort of prologue he insisted was important to the story), and Ennoshita already had to hold back several curses; indignation rising at the way others (Tanaka included) dare to talk about his friend. Apparently Nishinoya was the one who let Kenzo meet up with them a couple of months ago, which explains the libero's quiet anger after the confrontation that afternoon. Chikara wonders if Kenzo realizes he lost more than one friendship when he started demeaning Tanaka in front of his friends.

Tanaka, oblivious to Ennoshita's internal struggles, continues his story. There seems to be so much to tell that Ennoshita is wondering how long some of these things have been bothering Ryuu, without him sharing his worries with his best friends. They are friends, right? Maybe Ennoshita isn't as close to Ryuu as he thought. Then again, even the best of friends aren't entitled to each other's every thought or worry. Distracted by this realization, he fails to keep back an angry huff when Ryuu finishes his sentence with "-so anyway, I guess I should've seen that one coming".

Tanaka paused for a second, clearly surprised by Ennoshita's sudden reaction. "Chikara? You wanna say something?"

Fortunately, Ennoshita is able to conceal most of his anger as he lets his thoughts flood out of him. Tanaka probably needs a calming voice of reason right now – someone who can easily explain why he does deserve some great friends and shouldn't 'expect' people to treat him the way those assholes did.

"You know that you're not an anime character, right?! You're more than a name or an image, you're human." He takes a deep breath, the shocked silence on the other side of the line causing him to continue in a slightly softer tone; "you should never accept treatment like that. I mean – not that I think you wouldn't stand up for yourself, I've known you too long for that – but this counts for people you consider friends too, Ryuu. You're not required to listen to them or give them your attention, not when they don't treat you fairly or ridicule you just for being yourself. Assholes like this don't deserve to breathe in the same air as you, let alone deserving your friendship."

"Right…" Tanaka says, taken aback by the outburst of his normally level-headed friend. "Yeah… Right… I guess I agree. With that. So… What was I saying? I don't… Ah, yeah – so I know my sister talks a lot too, but she's still not-"

Despite the short moment of relief where Ennoshita could share his thoughts, the rest of the conversation tests his patience just as much as before, if not more so. He has to bite his tongue several times to stop himself from interrupting Tanaka's monologue. At one point, he has already taken in a deep breath – ready to angrily interrupt Tanaka's retelling of a girl in his class who regularly makes fun of him for accidentally thinking out loud, when he remembers his promise to wait until the end of Tanaka's story-compilation before giving his opinion. A promise which he has broken once already. He ends up letting out a restrained hum to show he's still listening.

"I know it's annoying to most people," Tanaka goes on "-and so they think I'm annoying in general. Can't really prove them wrong either, because even if I wanted to, I can't change the way my brain works. I promise I tried! I really did, I just…" Chikara bites the inside of his cheek as he hears Ryuu's voice break. "I really thought… I normally don't have a lot of friends like this. Yuu is there, of course, and the team, but that's not really the same. They don't want to hang out besides practice much, and I don't want to complain about it, but…" he trails off. "I believed them, you know? I thought that they liked me, but clearly I shouldn't have, and-"

Ennoshita sees red. Constrained anger makes place for righteous recklessness as he decides that forcing the truth through Tanaka's thick skull is exactly what he needs right now. He can't handle listening to any more of this. "I like you!" he basically bites out at the phone. "as do Noya, and Hisashi, and Kazuhito, and everyone else on the team, for that matter. Well, except for Kei, maybe, but I'm not sure he's capable of that type of connection to anyone who isn't Tadashi…" Tanaka's laugh makes him grin, extinguishing most of the anger that was consuming him one second ago. The indignation remains, though. "Anyway – I don't mind the way you talk, nor do any of the others. Not the people who matter anyway. Fuck the rest."

Tanaka remains quiet after his tirade – stunned into silence.

"And by the way-" Chikara starts again, hit by a sudden burst of inspiration, "your brain may be jumbled, but it isn't all bad, right? I thought you were proud of being creative?"

"That's not the same," Tanaka says sullenly, "I could be creative without getting distracted all the time, too, or forgetting what I was talking about."

"Maybe so," Ennoshita admits, "but I sure can't get my brain to spew random connections like that, and use them for art. I have seen your work, man – you should be more proud of it. Proud of the things you can do, and others cannot, instead of doubting yourself like this. You'd never hold your friends to standards like these, so why do you expect them from yourself? You should focus on the positive things it brings you, instead."

"Maybe…"

Ennoshita shakes his head, dismissive of the doubt still lingering in Tanaka's voice. He knows he won't convince him of this in one night. Things like these take time.

"Now get your ass over here, our homework isn't going to make itself, you know. And Imma kick your ass if you miss training because you have to catch up on your work again."

Tanaka's laugh as he goes to grab his jacket, Chikara decides, sounds infinitely better than his self-doubt.

A/N: Hey hey hey! :D

I hope you liked the first chapter. This was written in a very different style than my other works, but it was a nice experience for sure!

There's two things I want to say about this chapter:

1. Tanaka pulls his own hair out when he's nervous - I chose this as the background reason why he's nearly bald, in my fic - so he won't be able to pull it out when stressed and maybe hurt himself in the process. I chose to include this based on my own experience of pulling out my own eyelashes and eyebrows whenever I'm really stressed. I don't realize that I'm doing it whenever that happens, so it's really hard to stop this habit.

2. I constantly forget what I'm saying, often when I'm still saying it. No matter how invested I am in a conversation, I often forget what I said only a minute before. Then on the other hand, I can remember small details from conversations ages ago (but that happens less frequently than me forgetting shit). It has become a joke where one of my best friends says that one of his main tasks is 'keeping a conversation catalogue', so when I inevitably ask what I was saying (once every couple of minutes), he can just repeat my earlier statement.
In a fic, this may seem cute, (or annoying for the person Tanaka is talking to) - but it can be extremely frustrating for the person with ADHD themselves as well. It's really hard when you're having a serious conversation with someone and you forget all the points you were trying to make.
If you ever have a conversation with someone like me - please know that we can't control this, and that your patience means a lot! :)

Thank you for reading! I wish you a great week!