A/N 10/08/2020: Get ready for some background Kagehina (kinda) + hinted Kyouhaba :v (I just can't help it, my Kyouhaba agenda is too strong to resist)

"I'm a sucker for you, yeah. Any road you take, you know that you'll find me"

When Chikara finally finds him, Tanaka is standing just outside of the protection of the roof; his rigid form is only half visible through the curtains of rain. Ennoshita pants, pressing his palm over the stinging sensation in his side as he stares at the way Tanaka is looking up at the sky with his head thrown back; thick raindrops gliding past his forehead and into the short strands of his hair. He gives off the air of someone waiting for the rain to cleanse them from all their worries. Considering the way Ryuu is currently drenched, that expectation doesn't seem to have come to fruition just yet.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

Tanaka glances over, but doesn't make any other indication that he heard Chikara yell.

"Come over here!"

The ace-to-be ignores him, the warm rain still thundering down around his motionless body. Chikara steps forward in agitation, only to quickly jump back as some ricocheting raindrops start dampening his shoes.

He curses softly to himself as he goes over his options. The others have gone home already. Not that it would be a particularly bright idea to expose Tanaka to them, in his current state. It's not often that Ryuu gets like this, but when he does, Chikara and Yuu are some of the only people allowed close. A last desperate look around confirms what he already knew to be true; the school is deserted, except for them.

Well. At least that means there is no one there to witness his stupidity.

With quick motions, Chikara rids himself of his backpack, raincoat and eventually his shoes and socks. It is so warm outside that taking off the raincoat is actually a relief at this point. After that, he leans forward, rocking up and down on the balls of his feet before abruptly shaking his head and stepping forward, into the rain. It doesn't really help to overthink your actions when you're planning on doing something dumb, after all.

It's like stepping into a giant lukewarm shower.

Ennoshita is grateful for the smooth tiles the Karasuno staff had decided on using for these outside corridors. The smooth tiles feel almost pleasant against his skin, still warm from when the sun was heating them less than 2 hours ago.

"Hey."

When Tanaka finally looks him in the eye, it's clear that his thoughts are still at least 80% focused on the clouds shredding themselves up above their heads, but at least Chikara has more of his attention than before.

"I'm going to move you now."

He doesn't ask for permission, knowing he won't get an answer anyway. Chikara lets out a small breath when Ryuu doesn't protest. He lets Ennoshita wrap an arm around his shoulder and lets himself be guided back to the overhang where Chikara dropped his bag earlier. They're lucky the weather is still nice out, Ennoshita thinks, as he watches Tanaka shake his head rapidly from side to side, like an overgrown bald dog.

He tosses his friend one of the extra towels he carries with him for practice. 'Thank God for Hinata's scatter-brained tendency to forget his towels for practice.' He takes out his own used towel for himself, scrunching his nose a little at the still damp fabric. 'Well. It's better than nothing.'

After drying off, he sits down, leaning against the wall of the building and motioning for Tanaka to come sit next to him. His mother won't expect him to cycle through this mess. Despite that thought, he still shoots her a quick message as he waits for Ryuu to start talking. One upside of them being friends is that the other boy doesn't really hold back on sharing his thoughts; bad or otherwise. If you just give him time, the truth will come out eventually.

As expected, the silence hasn't stretched past 7 minutes when Ryuu's voice pipes up next to him. "D'you know that Kageyama came to me? To me?! Wanted to talk about the fact that he was 'scared about confessing' and the like." Judging by Ryuu's tone of voice, you'd have thought they had been discussing this particular topic for a couple of hours at this point.

Ennoshita says nothing.

"I guess he thought I'd have… more… experience, maybe, or… Honestly, I don't know what he was thinking. It's not that I didn't- don't- want to help him, but I just didn't have anything to say…?" Tanaka's fingers fidget, clearly itching to pull on his hair. Ennoshita tries to distract him instead.

"That's… I mean… It's a little surprising. But good, isn't it? Maybe teaching him to do high fives and such made for a stronger bonding experience than expected, and that's why he's trusting you with this? "

"I don't know what to do about it," Tanaka breathes, ignoring Ennoshita's abysmal attempt at humour. "How can I tell him not to worry and to accept himself and his feelings if I haven't even come out myself?" He glares at his wet shoes as if they just uttered a personal insult to his late great-grandmother. "I still told him those things, of course. And I didn't lie, but…"

"Coming out isn't everything. Maybe Kageyama doesn't know? About whether you told your family or not? Or maybe he doesn't care… You came out to the team, right? I guess that's what might matter most to him. Volleyball is his personal holy grail, remember?"

Ryuu scoffs. "Yeah. Maybe I should've just lied… I dislike it, but it might have helped him more. It's what he expected me to do, probably…"

Ennoshita has no time for the bullshit he knows will be flowing from his friend's mouth next. "I don't want you to be anything but yourself. And honestly, I don't think Kageyama would want that either. Are you sure you're not just overthinking things?" Tanaka nods morosely.

"You're known for being… unapologetically yourself. Under any and all circumstances, I might add. For as far as he knows, you've always been super comfortable who you are and who you like. That's the way you behave around the team, to put it mildly. Maybe that sort of stuff is more like the advice he was looking for?" Ryuu hums, still unconvinced.

"Still makes no sense, though. 'Cause in the end, he mostly wanted me to help him confess, not to come out to his parents. I told him not to use 'gragh' or 'gwaah!', even though that'd probably come across more clearly than a usual love confession, when it's coming from him." Ennoshita bites his lip, his cheeks aching with the effort of holding back his laughter. "I don't know what to do about that, man, I've never had to confess before."

"You… Confess to Shimizu literally every day? Maybe even more than that."

"That's not the same," Tanaka says, waving his hand distractedly. "I know she'll never accept. It's more like… a sign. It's me paying homage to how pretty she is. It's not as serious as… y'know, when I'd tell other people? When I'd want… Yeah, so… Yeah. I think she knows, by the way – probably wouldn't let me do it otherwise."

"Ah, okay," Chikara coughs awkwardly, some loose thoughts and hopeful words stuck in the back of his throat. "I guess."

"He should've asked you!" Tanaka suddenly bellows, staring at Ennoshita like he's never seen him clearly before. "You'd have been the better option for sure. You could actually help."

"I- I don't know," Ennoshita stutters, surprised. "Why do you think-?"

"Didn't you have something with that setter guy? You know-" Tanaka positions his hands against his face to re-enact a fringe. "The preppy one."

"Ah. No, that wasn't entirely… Well-" Tanaka doesn't notice the way Chikara's expression shutters closed.

In fact, it had never been Yahaba he was interested in in the first place. But it was the easy way out, at the time, to insinuate Yahaba… A convenient scapegoat, presented to him when Tanaka saw the two of them so close together, by accident. A great way out – saving him from having to confess that the only reason the silver-haired setter had pinned him against that wall, was to warn him to stay away from future aces. Especially those from other teams. Chikara's ears still tend to glow red at the memory. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. That guy may have looked… The way he glared may have mirrored… Whatever – it wouldn't have been the same. It'd have been stupid to try, with or without jealous setters around.

"You could at least have given him some pointers, or something. On what to expect!" Tanaka blabbers on, enthusiastically. His mood has turned around completely this past minute – distracted from his earlier sulking by the idea there was something he could do – some way to help that wouldn't make him a worthless senpai.

"I don't think that would've helped much," Ennoshita interjects, desperate to stop Tanaka in his tracks before he tries to send a hopeful first-year setter his way. He licks his lips nervously, determined not to look at the boy next to him. "I've never had to confess to someone when… it counted. When I really cared."

"Oh." Tanaka's enthusiasm leaves him in that one syllable, but luckily enough, he doesn't turn back to his brooding self from before. A more neutral atmosphere descending on them amidst the short silence.

"And I wouldn't have been a great help with coming out either." Chikara forces out, unable to let himself linger on past mistakes any longer. 'Oh God… Playing against them next year is going to be horrifying.'

"How did you do it, then?" Tanaka says, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Can't believe I've never asked you before."

"It's alright," Ennoshita smiles, "it's not all that exciting. My aunt is gay. So everyone was long used to the idea, because of her and aunt Suki. I got lucky, I guess. My parents never really cared much about who I fell in love with, as long as they aren't a complete shit and treat me well."

It's only at Tanaka's hum that he decides to take his chance and return the question. "Why haven't you told them? Your family? I've never asked you that either."

"I… actually, I don't know. Few people asked before… I think most people just assume I'm scared of their reaction – of them being angry, but that's not entirely true."

"I don't know," Ennoshita says pensively, "you always seem so self-assured that maybe they just can't imagine you acting any different around your family… But if you're not afraid of them being angry, then what is holding you back?"

"The asshole parable."

"The… the what?" Ennoshita asks, stunned. His confusion lasts for a mere second, sputtered laughter escaping him when Ryuu pulls his face into a sage expression, clearly getting ready to 'share some wisdom'.

The future ace lets out a tiny sigh before he says: "It's like this; 'a religious woman, a gay man and a nonbinary person meet each other while walking their dogs. They laugh, talk, and become friends. It's what happens when you're not an asshole."

He stares proudly at Ennoshita, who is still staring at him, stunned once again. "… Yes?" He tries. "So… How is that connected to-?"

"It's why I was never all that worried about someone's reaction." Tanaka interrupts impatiently - like this should all have been perfectly clear from his story itself. "If they react like shit (even after a while, because sometimes you gotta let them think and about it – give them some time), then they're assholes and I don't need those in my life. The thing is… Family… You can't really leave that behind. Or at least not that easily, even if that's what would be best for you. You'd expect your family members to always be there for you, even if they don't fully understand your choices or feelings, but that's not how it goes. 'S not how all families react. There's… expectations. I guess if I'm scared of anything, it's that.

Ennoshita frowns. "Scared of expectations?" It doesn't sound like Ryuu at all.

"Scared of failing them." He says, simply. "I know it's dumb, maybe… It's not something I can force. It's just… the way it is. But that doesn't stop me thinking that they might react… I don't know… bad. Disappointed."

"But you're not thinking of Saeko, are you?" He knows it's probably rude of him, but Chikara can't keep the incredulity out of his voice. "You really think your rebel-ass sister will judge you for loving guys instead of-? After you saw her cheering for weeks, about the wedding of her favourite figure skater to that Russian dude?"

"Not Saeko," Tanaka confirms, his mumbling nearly inaudible over the sound of the rain still pelting against the overhang above them. "But dad… He's a good guy. He tries really hard, I know that… But… After we lost mom, I think the pressure got a little too big for him, with all the time he had to spend at the restaurant alone. I don't want him to think that he, I don't know… 'wasn't a good enough male role model', or something stupid like that. I still miss mom, but the fact that she's gone has had no fucking impact on whether I like dick or not."

He grins guiltily as Ennoshita bursts out into laughter. "I've known for so long… For ages, really. At first I didn't say anything because I didn't want them to think I 'just wanted attention', but now… The comfort of them knowing might help somewhat, I think."

That comment sobers up Chikara up real quick.

"I hate that. Y'should say 'seeking support' instead of 'seeking attention', cause that's what you're really looking for. Please don't let people tell you that wanting basic support and acceptance from your family is just 'seeking attention'. No- I'm serious! See how it changes their opinion, when you say this, if some idiot ever makes a comment like that."

"And anyway," he continues, lightly poking Ryuu in the ribs with his elbow when the other boy won't look at him, "the 'version of you' people create in their mind is not your responsibility. Not even if it's your parents doing it."

"Hmm… Maybe not."

"You know… Whenever we're talking about protecting others- like, backing some of our friends whenever someone's in trouble; you're always first in line. You're one of the first to start shouting encouragements and assisting them in whatever they need. Why can't you use that same drive to support yourself? You deserve it just as much as the others."

"I know your dad is stressed," Ennoshita continues, frowning, "but hiding yourself like this shouldn't be a sacrifice you have to make – not if you want to tell them. You're allowed to stop being selfless once in a while, you know?"

"I'll… think about it. Might need some time before I decide what to do."

Ennoshita eyes him critically, ultimately deciding not to argue the matter any longer. It's not like it's his decision anyway.

"We should have talked about this before. I didn't notice you were this nervous about it, I'm sorry."

"Y'don't have to be. It's not like you're a damn psychic or anything? I could have told you if I wanted to. I just didn't want people to see me like that. It never felt like the right time to share that stuff anyway. There's always something else going on, it wasn't that important."

"Just because you carry it well, doesn't mean it isn't heavy."

Chikara laughs when Tanaka nods at him, clearly impressed. "Not my quote, I'm afraid. 'S just a line I once read that stuck. Well, I still think it's true, so…"

He lets himself smile as Ryuu moves to stare at the rain again. Even though the downpour has slowed, it shows no signs of stopping just yet. "I think I'll tell my sister first. You're right; I'm 99% sure she won't mind. It's just not in her nature to be judgmental like that. I'm still scared, though. I don't understand why, really – I've always been determined enough to do whatever I believe in. This shouldn't be different. I know I'm right, dammit. I should be confident about this!"

"Everyone is insecure about something, man. It's not weird at all. And courage isn't the absence of fear, just like confidence isn't the absence of insecurity. It's standing strong despite the things that are trying to drag you down, and doing whatever you set out to do regardless."

"But no one is dragging me down?"

"That's not true. You are. You're stopping yourself from being as… I don't know-, as daring as you usually are."

"Wow," Ryuu fans himself, blinking quickly at Ennoshita in an exaggerated manner, "that's so poetic of you, Chika."

"Don't laugh at me, you little shit! I'm trying to help here." He's trying to sound annoyed, but it's hard not answering the grin that's being beamed in his direction.

"I thought you disliked me being daring?"

"I dislike you and Noya shouting at a high enough volume to cause lasting hearing damage." Ennoshita states dryly. "Wouldn't exactly call that the same thing. It's a great quality in itself, though." The 'it suits you' goes unspoken.

"So you do like it, then?" Tanaka needles, his sharp grin broadening even more.

For a second, Chikara considers bluffing; just making a joke out of it to back away from whatever this conversation is starting to turn into. It's the tiniest amount or lingering doubt in Tanaka's gaze that makes him pull through.

"So I do."

There's no verbal answer – only that smile, growing even wider than before. Ennoshita wonders vaguely how it's possible that it's still raining. The sun is right there. The thought makes him snap out of his reverie and squint sternly at Tanaka's face, like his friend was to blame for the sappy thoughts. The other boy isn't looking at him anymore, rifling through his backpack in order to fish out his phone when it keeps letting out a beeping noise. "I better not hear you pushing your own problems back like this. I'm not captain yet, but I will kick your ass if you try to just handle everything on your own." Unhappy with Tanaka's small scoff, he adds: "-and I'll ask Suga-san to help me in the meantime."

This seems to have been the way to go, because Ryuu shivers and agrees at once. "Yes- yes, yes, I get it – I get it." His face cringes as he moves to get up – reaching out to help Chikara up as well.

"I called nee-san right after practice – left her a voicemail to come get me before Kageyama cornered me. She's at the gates now, let us drop you off?"

"It's over there, nee-san."

Ennoshita starts to move at Tanaka's voice, picking up the bag at his feet, grateful to have survived another one of Saeko's driving experiences. He hesitates when he feels someone stare at him and looks up at Ryuu in confusion. The other boy reaches out – simply squeezing Ennoshita's wrist before letting go again. He doesn't speak, but the grateful look in his eyes rings louder than words. Chikara shoots him a quick smile in return before securing his bag against his chest with his right arm, his left clutching the door handle.

The rain has gained in strength again, so he's planning to make a run for it.

"Thank you for dropping me off, Tanaka-san."

Saeko shakes her head in the front seat – the blonde's boisterous laughter so alike her brother's. "Don't worry about it, Chikara-kun. It's the least I can do to pay you back for helping this idiot study!" The white stick of her lollypop clicks against her teeth at every couple of syllables.

He laughs, giving a last little wave before pushing the door open and jumping outside in one go, slamming it back shut behind him before racing to the front door. 'At least all those laps at practice have had some merit in the end,' he thinks, pushing his key into the lock and feeling it click, distracted by the echoes of Ryuu's insulted shouts and Saeko's laughter, still audible over the rain. The click of a closing front door gets drowned out by the revving sounds of an engine pulling back out onto the road.

A/N: Some thoughts about this chapter :)

I wanted Tanaka to stand in the rain bc it's something I want to do often as well (not that that's possible, most of the time). It's supposed to make him feel calm, since for once, he can drown in something else than his own thoughts. (and also warm rain just feels nice, imo :p)
I have a very hard time falling asleep without my speaker playing rain/storm sounds next to my bed. It's incredibly calming and I thought the weather itself deserved a shoutout. #Thanksrain

Thank you SO MUCH to the people commenting on my work! ^^ It's the best way to let me know if my writing touched you somehow, and I couldn't be more grateful for everyone who shares their thoughts on this regard!

Thanks for reading the second chapter! I hope you'll have a great week! don't forget to drink enough water and wear your seatbelt! (at all times, but especially when you drive with Saeko)