Chapter Seven: The One That Got Away

I never meant to get us in this deep

I never meant for this to mean a thing

I wish you were the one

Wish you were the one that got away

– The Civil Wars, "The One That Got Away"

The text on Heero's computer screen blurred and whirled in an infuriating dance of words and numbers. Despite the fact that his blackout curtains were drawn tight, the door to his office closed to block out the din from the rest of his department, the Preventers commander couldn't concentrate for the life of him. It didn't help that he was battling the mother of all headaches, which not even the heavy-duty painkillers he'd taken that morning could touch.

As usual, his struggles were self-inflicted. Perhaps if he'd spent his Sunday doing something other than drinking his way to a blacked-out state, his Monday might have been more productive.

It was mid-afternoon and he was just about ready to throw in the towel when a tentative knock sounded on his door. Heero frowned and dragged his head up from his monitor.

"What is it?" he barked, not bothering with niceties when he felt like shit. Or much else of the time, for that matter.

The door creaked open, and a pert face framed by dark, curly hair peered in. "May I come in?"

Heero's blood went cold.

He managed a nod, but said nothing as communications officer Raquel Morena opened the door fully and swept into his office. All Heero could do was scowl in her direction, ensuring his expression communicated how little he welcomed the intrusion.

Heero continued to eye her warily as she made her way toward him with a stack of papers in hand. She was wearing her Preventers uniform, one of the newer-issued beige versions with not a crease in sight. Her brown hair was piled on top of her head in a haphazard bun Relena would refer to as a "top knot." The young agent appeared to hesitate before taking the last few steps forward and setting the hefty document on Heero's desk.

"Just… filing my report from Eurasia," Raquel said softly, blinking her doe eyes at Heero. He stiffened.

"You could have filed electronically," he groused, leafing through the stack briefly before setting it back down.

"I know. But I wanted to see you."

Her voice was girlish, hopeful. Heero stifled an exasperated groan, running a hand over his face.

"What do you want?"

Raquel glanced over her shoulder before leaning down slightly, lowering her voice even more. "I think we should talk about… everything."

Whatever remained of Heero's blood flow had gone to ice in his veins. "There's nothing to discuss."

Raquel's face fell. "But we don't know exactly what happened that night," she sighed, casting baleful brown eyes on Heero. "I mean, what if…"

"Close the door," Heero cut in. Raquel obeyed, then sat down in the chair that faced Heero's desk.

"You were saying," he grumbled, not wanting to entertain her musings for anything, but not feeling he had much choice, either.

Raquel heaved another sigh and twisted a loose tendril of hair in front of her face. "What if… it turns out I'm pregnant?"

Heero's eyes narrowed. "You'd better not be," he growled.

Raquel's brows arched. "Or what? You wouldn't help me?" Her eyes immediately filled.

Heero sank back in his chair, rubbing his hand over his face again. He took a moment to compose himself.

"I don't know," he said at last. "Why don't you take a test, then… contact me if it's necessary."

He was surprised, frankly, that the girl hadn't taken a test already. He'd immediately taken one of his own– for STDs. Thankfully, he had received a clean bill of health. It was the one thing he was thankful for these days...

Raquel gaped at him. "Contact you if necessary? Are you saying you don't want to see me?"

Now it was Heero's turn to balk at her. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

The tears brimming in Raquel's eyes spilled onto her cheeks. "You don't mean that."

"Of course I do," Heero said without a trace of emotion. "I'm married. I have a family."

"B-but," Raquel stammered, her chest heaving. "I thought… that night… we shared something special. We had a connection."

Heero barely refrained from rolling his eyes. "You thought wrong. I hardly remember what happened that night."

That was the honest truth; his memories from the night that changed everything were nothing but hazy.

Raquel was still blabbering on, her eyes and nose red and puffy, but Heero didn't have the patience to listen to her falsified – or, at the very least, exaggerated – version of events. Let her take a pregnancy test, and have that prove her wrong.

Then, maybe his wife would finally listen to him and consider his side. He'd apologized to Relena over and over, to the point of begging for her forgiveness, but she'd turned a cold shoulder as soon as he'd told her what he knew. Part of him was still wracked with guilt over something he wasn't even sure he had done; another part of him was heartbroken that his wife, of all people, didn't believe he was innocent. Knowing that hurt more than he could have possibly imagined.

Losing Relena was his worst fear come to life.

Now, he was living a nightmare.

"If I am pregnant," Raquel sniffed, "I'm keeping the baby."

"That's your decision," Heero said curtly.

"I'll expect child support."

"I'll demand a paternity test."

"Fair enough." Raquel rose to leave. "I'll go get a test today." She gave him a rueful smile, placing a hand on her flat stomach. "I'll call you as soon as I know."

Heero's gut coiled. "Fine."

Raquel turned toward the door, but Heero called to halt her. She turned around, her brows lifting in surprise. "Yes, Heero?"

"Commander Yuy," he corrected her, injecting as much venom into his voice as possible. Raquel's eyes widened, then narrowed.

"Commander Yuy," she echoed blandly.

Heero straightened in his seat. "Once this matter is settled, I'm reassigning you to our North American unit."

Raquel's mouth dropped open. "But, why?"

Because I need you out of sight, he wanted to say; for his sake as well as Relena's. Instead, he answered, "They're in need of new recruits. You'll be going along with several other team members."

Her lower lip trembled. "But I don't want to move to America."

Heero refused to indulge her personal pity party. "That's an order. Which you agreed to obey upon signing up with this organization. If you refuse orders, there will be consequences."

Raquel's eyes narrowed. "Like what?"

She was already treading dangerous ground, her insubordinate attitude warranting a writeup, at the very least. But Heero held back, not wanting to risk Raquel blabbing her story to anyone who'd be willing to hear it. The thought of her contacting the media and what that would mean for Relena's political position was absolutely sickening. Not to mention what the rumors would do to his relationship with Ellie… he couldn't bear the thought of his daughter thinking less of him.

Heero's stomach soured again, and this time he felt like he was going to vomit. Somehow this petite young woman had the power to destroy him, his marriage, and his career in one fell swoop.

"I'll refer you to our code of conduct," Heero muttered, avoiding a direct answer to her question.

Raquel tipped her chin up in a defiant gesture. "I'm not leaving Brussels; it's my home. Moving to another country would wreak havoc upon my mental health." Once again, her lip started to quiver.

Heero let out a labored sigh. "Then you are placed on a mandatory leave of absence, effective immediately, during which you will be expected to undergo an extensive psychiatric evaluation."

Raquel's eyes bulged. Clearly she'd never bothered to read the code of conduct. "But, He– Commander Yuy. This is outrageous!"

"This is the best I can do for now," Heero said as gently as he could manage. "Go home and get some rest. And," he added grudgingly, "let me know the minute you get your test result."

Raquel finally made her exit, her head low and shoulders sagging, leaving Heero feeling like an ass. And yet, troubling as the situation was, he still couldn't fully believe what the girl was insisting.

There was no way they'd had sex; he knew, to his core, that it was impossible. Even if his drinking had become a problem over the past few months, due to the pressures of his new position, there wasn't enough booze in the world to make him cheat on his wife.

He loved Relena more than life itself. And he would have given his life for her or Ellie without a moment's hesitation. There was no life without them, so what good was he now, anyway? He was a useless husk of a man, as good as dead.

But he wouldn't do himself in; not just yet. He owed it to some small, stubborn part of himself that wanted to live a meaningful life to at least try to reclaim his old existence. If that were even possible at this point. He could survive losing his job over this, but he prayed to whoever was listening that he wouldn't lose his family. Then, he would truly have nothing left.

That was only if he hadn't already lost them forever.

A/N Raise your hand if you saw that coming?

Well well well... hopefully this chapter answered some of your burning questions. But is everything as it seems? Guess you'll have to stay tuned to find out! More to come...

- RFP