July 18, 2010

There's good hunting in the area and no large populations of walkers in this isolated place, so Shane isn't terribly surprised when the idea is broached to have them stay another day or three. Everyone really needs the rest, after the chaos of the attack at the quarry.

Daryl and Micah left before sunrise, declaring they were going to bring back more than just supper this time. Merle and Quinn disappeared for a while with Quinn's kids and Sophia, returning with a wealth of foraged greenery and porcini mushrooms.

Shane's been trying to get an unguarded moment with Rick and lead him aside to do what he promised last night. But Lori's watching like a hawk, fluttering and clutching in a way Rick seems unable to resist much. More importantly, she's keeping Carl underfoot, knowing Shane would never bring the boy into such a conversation.

"Mister Grimes?"

The child's voice actually interrupts Lori's latest plea for Rick's attention, which is reorganizing their haphazardly packed possessions into some sort of working order.

"Yeah, Harper?"

Harper Dixon is standing behind Rick with a hopeful expression. It reminds Shane of the look she gave him when cajoling him into teaching the girls to hunt frogs.

"Can Carl come with us to the lake? We don't want to leave him out."

A glance beyond the girl shows all the other children gathered, from eight-year-old Louis to fourteen-year-old Jesse. They're carrying fishing gear, and the three from the Dixon camp are armed with their preferred weapons.

"That's a pretty good ways out from all the adults," Rick says, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. He doesn't look at Lori, even as she hisses at the idea Rick might agree. Carl looks like Christmas is coming early.

"Miss Jacqui is going to drive us down. Mama gave her the keys to the Expedition."

Jacqui may not be skilled with firearms, but the woman certainly proved her willingness to hack away at anything threatening during the camp attack. Two of the children in this group also fought the walkers.

"Can I, Dad? It's hot and boring watching Mom pack."

The ebony-skinned woman approaches, the Ford keys in question dangling from her hand. "You kids ready to go?" She flashes Rick an encouraging smile. "Be a shame for the boy to be up here by his lonesome, deputy."

"Yeah, Carl, you can go." It earns Rick a hug from his son. "Just remember you don't know how to swim, son."

"We can all swim, Mister Grimes, and I did the junior lifeguard program back home," Jesse says, with a little nod that makes his dark blue hair shift away from his eyes.

It's not often Shane's actually heard the teenager speak. The boy's in that weird span where his voice is no longer the higher pitch of a child's, like Carl's, but it isn't the adult timbre that Micah already has either.

Before Lori can argue, Carl is folded into the phalanx of children, who usher him off to the car as if they know they have a limited window to escape her interference. Shane figures none of the kids have missed Lori's attitude toward the Dixon kids, in particular.

A good portion of the rest of camp is loading laundry into the back of Daryl's pickup. Quinn approaches, eyeing Shane briefly. He's sitting on an overturned bucket, working on cleaning the remaining walker muck off his boots from yesterday in what little shade his Jeep is throwing. He's not entirely sure what the look is about.

But when she speaks, it's to Rick and Lori. "We're taking the laundry down to the lake as well. Thing's big enough we shouldn't mess up the kids' fishing. Figured Lori might want to join us since we don't know when we'll have this much water access."

Well, now he understands the look. After Merle's intercession last night, this all but reeks of deliberate planning to leave him and Rick alone. He very carefully does not look toward his partner and Lori.

"Can't you see I'm busy right now?" Lori replies, sounding more anxious than she really should.

"Lori. Geez." The exasperation in Rick's voice is undeniable. "Quinn just asked if you wanted to go, and rearranging the Cherokee can wait, or I can finish it up. I am capable of organizing a car, you know."

"Didn't figure you'd want to go down there by yourself later," Quinn adds. "But if you prefer washing three people's laundry all by your lonesome, please, feel free. Might not dry in time if you wait though."

Shane risks a sideways glance to see that Lori's gaping a bit like a fish. Rick's expression is going from puzzled to exasperated, and Shane remembers the spat Quinn and Lori had the first night Rick was in camp clearly. Quinn is wearing an almost too innocent expression, her hands on her hips as she waits on an answer.

"Fine." Cornered into having no good reason not to go, Lori begins slamming things around in search of the Grimes's laundry.

While she's waiting, Quinn turns her attention away from the minor temper tantrum. "Hey, Shane? Toss your bag over and we'll divide it up along with Dale's and Jim's."

The older man's in his usual daytime position, on watch, but they've improved it a bit by having Jim up on the roof of the barn itself so there's a watch in multiple directions.

"Everyone gonna walk down?" he asks, standing and reaching for the bag of his laundry.

"Nah. They can pretend to be laundry and ride in the back."

That seems already underway, since everyone else's laundry is loaded and the adults aside from Merle are loaded into the back, seated on the sides of the truck bed. Merle disappeared around toward the front of the barn, but he had the clothes lines in hand, so Shane figures he's setting something up in the courtyard area of the barn.

Amy slides into the cab in the middle of the bench seat as Quinn walks away with Shane's bag to climb in the driver's seat, seemingly unconcerned that Lori hasn't followed yet.

"You're holding them up, Lori," Rick nudges. "And we don't have enough clothes with us to skip chances to wash."

Shane doesn't look up until he hears footsteps away, but it means he catches sight of Lori's livid expression from the passenger seat as the Ford eases by his Jeep to go down to the lake.

"She sure isn't going to make any friends acting like that," Rick says with a sigh. He sits on the ground next to Shane's Jeep, back against the rear wheel. "Was Quinn telling the truth about the laundry issue the other night? Lori treating the others like her maid?"

It's between a rock and a hard place to answer that. On one hand, answering truthfully is what he should do. It's not like Rick can't ask any of the other women to confirm. Shane's not sure even Andrea would cover for Lori after all the shit about divisions of labor in the quarry camp.

On the other hand, he's got to confess to his best friend that he slept with his wife, not just once, but regularly, since they fled King County. Anything negative he says against Lori is not going to be seen in any sort of good light with that hanging over his head. His gut churns with a mixture of fear and self-loathing.

"Shane?"

"Before I answer that, got something to tell you."

He doesn't even get the words sorted to say before Rick sighs. "I know you and Lori are sleeping together."

Shane can't help the startled look he gives Rick. His best friend looks somewhere between exhausted and forlorn. "She tell you?"

It would surprise the hell out of him if Lori did, but he supposes she might try damage control after crossing paths with Merle. Past behavior of the eldest Dixon indicates he just might tell Rick for shits and giggles. But Rick's behavior today didn't indicate any such upsetting conversation. Rick's never had that good a poker face.

"Nah. You still wear cologne, even out here."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"Thing is, cologne and perfume? The scents transfer onto clothes and linger. And after more than ten years in a squad car with you, I probably know yours better than I know Lori's damned expensive perfume." Rick picks at the inseam of his pants, but he doesn't seem finished speaking, so Shane waits.

"Smelling it on her shirt, that could be a hug. But Shane, on her goddamned bra? That's not anything innocent."

Considering what they got up to in the woods the same day Rick reappeared, Shane imagines it would be a fairly prominent scent.

"It does mean something that you're man enough to come to me. Wish it were sooner, but I guess things ain't exactly been on the easy end of the spectrum since I showed back up."

Shane huffs out a breath. "No fucking kidding. Not laying that on you, Rick. Just wasn't something I could even get out of my mouth that first night. You were so happy, sitting there with them."

And the second night they spent watching over a destroyed camp. Having this conversation with Quinn sitting between them? Not possible.

"Tell me something. When did it start? Because I gotta know that before I even begin to wrap my head around it. I gotta know just how long my wife's been sleeping with us both."

Shane's more than a little horrified at the idea he would have looked at his brother's wife before the world ended.

"Night after Atlanta was bombed, when we reached the quarry. That's when it started. After we thought you were dead Never before, man, I promise you. Never so much as looked at her that way."

He knows beyond a doubt Lori never looked at him either. She certainly said as much, that first time they lay together in his tent after sex that was not about affection, only not being alone in the dark.

"And since? She disappeared for long enough last night."

Well, fuck. Where the hell did Lori go after Merle sent her on her way?

"She showed up when I was half asleep, but it wasn't for sex. She wanted to argue against me speaking to you. She thinks I lied to her about you dying to take over your place. With her. With Carl."

Shane runs a hand through his hair, resisting the urge to pull on the thick strand. "She wasn't there long after I told her I was telling you. Had to stop her from slapping at me. Only time I touched her last night."

Rick's silent long enough that Shane looks up. His best friend is still sitting against the tire, but his eyes are full of tears.

"Rick, man, I don't think she exactly wants to lie so much as she wants to save your marriage pretty damn bad. You being in the hospital? That shook her to the core."

"Not sure defending her is a good thing to hear from you right now."

"Alright." Shane sighs, dropping the boot he's no longer working on cleaning. "I'm sorry, brother. Her and Carl, they were all I had with you gone. Don't think I would have ever left that hospital room if not to get them to safety."

"Don't say that, Shane." Rick's blinked away the moisture now, but it just makes the alarmed expression that much more intense.

Shane shrugs. "It's the truth. You're the only family I got left. You and Carl and Lori."

The silence that descends is an uncomfortable one, but Shane isn't sure what else to say.

"Gonna try to fix things with Lori. I survived that damn coma for a reason. If she's willing to try, so am I," Rick says at last.

"Alright." Shane echoes his earlier agreement. He knows what he had with Lori isn't his to keep. He gets one miracle: his brother, living and breathing, or a woman who turned on him so fast he's still not sure he'll ever trust anyone that close again.

In the end, the choice is always Rick.

"All I ask is that I don't lose my family," Shane says softly, staring at his feet. He hates the plea in his voice. Begging's always been hard for his pride to take. Sometimes pride is all he's had to keep him propelled forward.

His elbow is gripped hard and he raises his head to look over at Rick.

"That's not going to happen."

The conviction in Rick's voice is as solid as always, but Shane thinks this is the first time he can't believe him without hesitation.