Story Title/Link: You Mean Everything To Me
School and Theme: [Beauxbatons] Fallen Leaves
Mandatory Prompt: [Character] Remus Lupin
Additional Prompt: [Genre] Romance
Word Count: 1,678
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Additional Note: To further the experience of reading this fic (not related to the competition itself) I suggest listening to "Sweater Weather" by the Neighbourhood. For some reason this song makes me think of Snupin. It also adds to the atmosphere of the fic in my opinion.
As always, thank you so much to my beta, Hucklebarry!
"And that concludes our meeting for tonight," said Dumbledore, and people started getting up from their chairs and filing out of the dining room. Others lingered a bit to congregate with one another.
Remus, pointedly avoiding Tonks's hopeful gaze, stood up from his chair as well. He quickly followed the people who had gotten up through the threshold, bidding Sirius goodnight with a brotherly hug. Then, Remus climbed up the stairs to his guest bedroom and shut the door behind him, lighting up the fireplace with a wave of his wand and a nonverbal Incendio.
As he was about to button up his nightshirt, he heard a knock on the door. He could not help but smile.
"Come in," said Remus excitedly, knowing full well who it would be.
As soon as he heard footsteps enter the bedroom, his hands found a thin face. His visitor's hands found Remus's neck. Not able to wait any longer, they started devouring each other hungrily, severely touch-starved from the long period they spent apart. They proceeded to re-familiarize themselves with the feel of their tongues and their bodies. Hot kisses were planted on necks, lobes were bitten, and love bites were exchanged. They touched everywhere, trying to get a feel for what it was like to be pressed against the other again. In reality, they had not been separated for long, but in their minds, they had been divided by rivers, jungles, and entire oceans.
When they finally pulled away after what seemed like hours, Remus looked up into the dark tunnels of Severus Snape with desire. He noticed that Severus was doing the same.
"Severus."
"Remus."
"God, I was so worried," breathed the werewolf earnestly, grabbing his lover's shoulders and pulling him into a tight embrace. He did not care when he started crying tears of relief, crying harder as he felt Severus's long fingers slide into his hair. He completely broke down as Severus's other hand started rubbing circles on his back.
"Remus, I'm here. There is nothing you need to worry about," assured Severus.
"The Dark Lord hasn't found me out yet," added the spy gently with a light laugh.
Remus, on the other hand, could not stand to hear a flippant remark about Severus's life at the moment, even if it came from Severus himself.
"Shut up, just shut up!" said Remus harshly in an attempt to assuage his own fear. "Do you know how frantic I was when Dumbledore told me you'd be gone for three fucking weeks?"
"Remus—"
"This war," continued Remus, not noticing that Severus had tried to cut in. "This war is tearing everyone apart! Many of my nights were sleepless knowing that I wouldn't be feeling your warmth beside me, your arms around my body, your skin against mine—"
"Remus—" Severus tried again, but Remus would not let him continue.
"Listen to me!" exclaimed Remus, freeing himself from the hug he had just initiated. "Just—just listen," he repeated, audibly deflating.
After taking a few deep breaths, Remus focused his gaze on his lover's onyx orbs.
"Why do you risk your life? What is there for you? Why must you constantly risk your life for people who don't even like you? I can't stand it when Sirius constantly rants about how you're just setting us all up and that we'd regret having you on our side one day, and I can't stand it when Mad-Eye looks at you in a funny way, watching your every damn move. Why can't you just stop? Stop spying, stop putting yourself in danger, and stop chipping away at the purity of your soul!"
At the last comment, Severus's nostrils flared as he crossed his arms.
"There is no purity left," replied Severus with such a dark tone that it sent chills down Remus's spine. "You know this. My soul is completely tainted. Broken. Fractured. When this war is over, no one will need me anymore. Dumbledore will find someone else to take up my position. I only have one job in my life, and that's to spy and help Dumbledore win this godforsaken war. Otherwise, I'm worthless. To everyone. I know I won't survive this. You ask me to stop spying, yet you still frolic around with Greyback and his filthy, inhuman creatures. What about me? Whenever you go out on missions, my nights are sleepless, too. You don't think I miss you, too? But I don't say anything because I know that, in the end, there will be nothing left for us once this is over. Nothing."
Remus opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He realized that Severus was right. He wanted to argue against it, to say that he was wrong and that they would survive this, but he knew that what he wanted was a child's dream and nothing more than that. Realistically, Remus did not think he would survive, either. But he did not want to hear Severus voicing such fatalistic claims, so he decided that he would try to convince his lover otherwise.
Running the back of his hand lightly down Severus's cheek and interlacing his fingers through his lover's limp curtains of hair, Remus spoke.
"That is where you are wrong, Severus. I know, it might sound a bit too cliché, but we do have each other. We do."
Severus's Adam's apple bobbed as he opened his mouth to speak.
"I know...I know…."
"Then?" Remus pushed. "Why must you be so morbid? Why must you spend so much time fighting for people who don't even care?"
"But I am fighting for someone who cares," Severus corrected. Cupping Remus's face, he gave him a languid, sensual kiss with a bit of tongue before pulling away and running his thumb slowly across Remus's lower lip. "I am."
Remus did not need to be told that Severus was referring to him. Remus wrapped his arms around Severus's neck and rested his head on his lover's black-clad shoulder.
"I'm sorry...it's just that, I can't deal with the worry I get every time you're away. I never know whether I'll get a message from Dumbledore saying that your cover has been blown or whether I'll get a message saying that you died at Voldemort's hands, or…or…"
Not able to take any more of the stress that had plagued him during Severus's absence, Remus started sobbing.
"Do you know how much you mean to me?" Remus choked out while he clung to his partner's robes. "I hate it when you're called to those meetings!" he continued vehemently. "I fucking hate it! I swear to God, I never know whether you'll be back the next day or the next week or even the next year."
"Remus, listen to yourself," said Severus urgently, placing his hands on Remus's shoulders to ground the latter. "You're making a mountain out of a molehill. I've been spying for Dumbledore since 1981. The work hasn't changed in any way, and I am perfectly safe."
"No, you're not," Remus retorted hotly, wrenching himself away from the spy's grip. "I thought you, of all people, would know how unpredictable You-Know-Who is!"
"But I know how to play the game," countered Severus. "I've been spying for fifteen years. I know how the Dark Lord's mind works, and I know how he operates."
"But what if he catches you without your guard for—for one second? One? You'll be killed and then what will happen?"
A flash of apprehension washed over Severus's face.
"Remus, that doesn't matter. You know it doesn't—"
"Why? Why does it not matter? Do you place such little value on your life?"
"Why do you care so much?" asked Severus with one of his trademark sneers, his hidden emotion starting to break through. "Why can't you just trust me to do my job? Aren't we supposed to trust each other? I have faith in YOU, so why can't you have faith in ME?"
"BECAUSE—I—LOVE YOU!" Remus screamed, fed up with Severus's obstinate behavior. After a long pause, Remus spoke again.
"I...love you," he repeated quietly.
"What?" asked Severus blankly.
"I love you," Remus repeated. He grabbed Severus's shoulders and kissed him hard. "I love you."
"You…you…" Severus trailed off.
"Don't you see?" said Remus. "I love you. You helped me so much when I taught at Hogwarts with the Wolfsbane, and later, with your words and friendship. You don't know…you don't know…"
"I don't know what?" asked Severus, sounding very much bewildered at Remus's earlier statement of love.
"You mean everything to me, Severus," said Remus with quiet conviction after a moment of silence. "I don't know how you managed to worm your way into my bed—and eventually my heart—but you did. You just did. And I can't lose you now, not when I've just learned to love you. I…I can't."
"I see," said Severus with a sigh, closing the space between them with a kiss. Remus laughed into his lover's mouth as he heard the rain start to pour outside.
"How romantic," quipped Remus, pulling away and glancing at the window. "Pouring rain, a dimly lit room, and a bed."
"Romantic, indeed," said Severus. When Remus looked back into Severus's eyes, he realized they were burning with lust. The look Severus was giving Remus was almost predatory. The werewolf felt warm inside because he knew exactly who that desire was meant for.
"Shall we?" asked Remus playfully. "The night is young."
"It is," agreed Severus with a lewd smirk. "And besides—" his lover gestured to Remus's unbuttoned shirt, running his fingers over the multitude of scars on the werewolf's unclothed chest, "—you've already prepared for it." The feeling of Severus's pale hand on his skin made Remus blush furiously. As soon as Severus stopped talking, he pulled Remus towards him and caught the latter's mouth with his own.
Remus fell back onto the bed, and as his lover crawled on top of him, he could not help but grin at the satisfying end to their evening and what the rainy night held in store for them.