"I've a beater's bat he can use." Snape muttered under his breath.
"Wasn't there a cursed bludger sent after Harry?" Lupin asked.
"Yes, apparently it was sent by a house-elf." Snape's lips twitched.
"You wouldn't happen to know which elf?" Lupin asked, an innocent expression on his face.
"I'm beginning to understand your interest in pranks." Snape said and then froze. "I wonder…?"
"Yes…?"
"I wonder if we could send a request."
"To whom?"
"The Princesses of Pranks." Snape let a sly smile show
"Who?" Lupin asked.
"Let me tell you what I know about them." Snape smirked. "The Weasley twins were the resident pranksters, until the Princesses decided that they needed taking down a peg or two. And now they regularly target the boys. They've turned the boys' hair different colours, changed their…"
The Duelling Master studied his two former students, seeing little of the young boys they had once been. He had read and re-read the letters, dragging out of them every nuance he could, scribbling notes and making hypothetical guesses, before cross-referencing them against Snape and Lupin's notes.
"Very interesting, gentlemen." He picked up his cup and sipped at his tea, passing his sheet of parchment across to them. "What next? There's not enough here to locate him. Not without significant time spent searching. And let's be honest, lads? If we were to find him, before he were ready to face you? He wouldn't be very receptive, in fact, I could see him reacting quite negatively."
"Yes, that's our impression, too." Lupin said.
"That wasn't why we brought this to you." Snape added.
"Then why…?" Flitwick asked, then frowned. "The Headmaster?"
"Indeed." Snape nodded. "He's known what's been going on for years and he's made no effort to do anything."
"And as a result, Harry is dead. The old man may regret it but that didn't stop him from letting it happen." Lupin said.
"From encouraging the boy, from laying traps for him and making plans for the boy's future." Snape added. "All without once considering if he was wrong, or if his plans were faulty."
"And you want to what? Be the bludger that Black mentioned?"
"Oh, no." Lupin laughed.
"No." Snape agreed.
"We do believe that a bludger isn't a bad idea." Lupin allowed.
"But we are thinking a little more… subtly… is needed." Snape smirked.
"Then…?"
"The Princesses of Pranks." Lupin replied. "We'd like to contact them."
"We'd like to find out who they are and see if we might point them at our esteemed employer." Snape added replied.
"Ah, yes, I can see how you might come to that conclusion." Flitwick nodded. "But that doesn't explain why you've approached me."
"Oh, right." Lupin grimaced. "We need a spy."
"He knows who the Princesses are or at least who one of them is." Snape explained. "We can't sent a request if we don't know who she is."
"Ah…" Flitwick's eyes lit with understanding. "And you want me to broach the subject with him?"
"No." Snape objected. "We want you to find out, which of the students' homes or families, he's visited, personally, himself."
"From there we should be able to narrow it down enough to send a request." Lupin gave him a slight smile.
"Since when? Do you have a timeframe?" Flitwick tilted his head in thought.
"The 1992 intake." Snape said. "The Weasley twins were targeted by them, for the first time, that Halloween."
"Yes, he commented on it, said something about having been warned?" Flitwick tried to remember exactly what was said."
"No, that was later, the leaving feast." Snape said.
"Oh yes, he said something about… who she was related to… a Black disowned in the 1920's, I believe…"
"Yes." Snape nodded. "And Lupin, a-"
"Lupin?" Lupin exclaimed.
"Apparently." Snape replied. "He believes there is a maternal ancestor… from the…"
"1890's!" Flitwick gasped.
"Yes."
"Interesting…" Lupin said slowly. "I might be able to narrow the field down, even more, when we have a few possible suspects."
"I shall do my best to give you those suspects." Flitwick grinned slyly.
Up in the Gryffindor dorms, Titania and Luna studied the Marauders' map. The Marauders', not the Corsairs' map. They sat on fat cushions in front of the floo-fireplace in Titania's trunk, while Paddy studied the Corsairs' map in the living room of their cottage in Wales.
"Moony and Snape? Working together?" Paddy grimaced. "That's not good."
"But why would they go to Flitwick and not McGonagall?" Titania asked.
Paddy hummed, rocking his head from side to side as he thought. "Maybe… Maybe, it's because she's the Deputy. She's very close to Dumbledore." He finally offered. "She was also involved in leaving Harry with his Aunt.
"True." Titania said before turning to Luna. "What do you think?"
"I think that they never even considered her. The entire decision was based on a conversation that Snape and Flitwick had with the Headmaster in the Great Hall, some time ago." Luna tilted her head and looked into the distance. "They're looking for us." She paused. "No, not us. They're looking for the Princesses of Pranks… they have a request…" Her voice was low and slow, a little hesitant.
"Ooh…" Titania breathed her exclamation.
"So what do you suggest we do, Luna?" Paddy asked.
Luna's face went blank and her eyes moved behind closed lids. Paddy watched through the flames, he'd not seen her like this before, Titania waited patiently, she knew what was happening to Luna. Eventually, the young Seer opened her eyes.
"The twins and Lee know that we're the Princesses." She said.
"They do." Titania agreed.
"It's time to let Professor Snape and Professor Moony know who we are." Luna added.
"The Princess bit or…?" Paddy asked.
"Just the Princess stuff." Luna shook her head. "They're not ready for the rest yet. Neither group. The twins? I think we need to wait until they graduate."
"And the three Professors?" Paddy asked.
"That needs to happen in two stages." Luna replied. "At yule? Tell them that Uncle Paddy was Sirius Black and that Titania is his daughter. But not about Harry. Not until we graduate."
"That sounds fair." Paddy nodded slowly.
"And Titania and I will be graduating with Harry's year." Luna advised.
"With Harry's- Why?" Paddy asked.
"Why not?" Luna replied.
"Uh…?" Paddy grunted but couldn't form a coherent reply.
"Question?" Titania asked, looking at Luna.
"Yes…" Luna turned her own gaze from a dumbfounded Paddy to the other girl.
"Wouldn't telling the Professors that I'm Padfoot's daughter be the same as telling them that I'm one of the Princesses?" Titania wanted to know.
Luna tilted her head and worked her way through the question and the possible answers, her head falling forward and her eyes closing as she thought. It took a few minutes before she began to nod.
"Still yule." She finally said. "No earlier than a week before the holidays. And we should bring the twins in, too." She grinned. "Although…? Think about the expressions on their faces when they figure out, we're working with them."
"Which 'they', Luna?" Paddy snorted.
"Both." Luna's grin grew teeth. "The twins will think it the greatest prank ever, if we're working with some of the Professors. And the Professors will be absolutely horrified that we're working with the twins and not against them."
"Oh, hell." Paddy laughed. "I want to see a memory of that."
Lupin read the list of names sent to him from Professor Flitwick and hummed. It was a short list and he should be able to narrow it down even further, with a little bit of research.
Snape walked into Lupin's office as though it were his own and sat down opposite the other wizard, both ignoring the extensive Christmas decorations that the elves seemed to be putting in every room in the castle.
"Good afternoon, Lupin." His silky voice filled the room.
"Snape." Lupin passed the note across the desk.
"Hmm…" Snape's lips twisted as he read the list. "That's longer than I'd expected."
"It is." Lupin nodded.
A tapping at a window distracted the two wizards.
"Expecting something?" Snape asked.
"No…" Lupin shook his head and drew his wand. The window opened and an OwlPost owl fluttered through the open space and dropped an envelope on the desk and flew away. Lupin waved his wand over the envelope and chanted a few phrases. "Clear." He said and tucked his want back into it's holster. He opened the envelope and drew out the letter, quickly reading the few lines.
Hey Moony.
Back at school, huh? Still enjoying it? Hope so.
So, Christmas is coming. I love yule, it's my favourite time of the year. Always has been. Kitten will be coming home for the holidays and somehow her friends have gotten permission to join us for the festivities. It's going to be a madhouse. Three sixth year boys and two third year girls and kitten's host of critters. There won't be a quiet moment to be had.
Sounds like fun, don't it?
You know what to do.
?
"Three sixth year boys?" Lupin muttered. "What?"
"Excuse me?" Snape asked. Lupin handed over the letter. "Three sixth boys and… That doesn't make sense." The potions Master said after reading the short message.
Lupin took the letter back and tapped it with his wand. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." The writing bled into the parchment and new words began to form.
Dear Moony
Hi. How's things at dear old Hoggy Hogwarts?
My kitten driving you barmy, yet? What about her cohorts? Any of them given the game away?
You haven't written to me yet or turned up on my doorstep, screaming blue murder, so obviously not.
Seriously, though, that girl of mine is in a league of her own.
It all started with that blasted hippogriff. Within days of moving into this house, the hippogriff had built a nest on her balcony. Then it was a bunch of snidgets, that decided to use her bedpost to make their nest on. Then she found an injured Augurey and brought it home. At last count we have the hippogriff, a handful of snidgets, the Augurey, a fwooper that can sing, a pony Pegasus, a jaberknoll that likes to harmonise with the fwooper and the second of my kitten's familiars – a griffin cub. Not to mention the familiar she took with to Hogwarts.
And you know? I thought it was only feathered critters, that she collected. I was wrong.
She starts at Hogwarts and brings home one of her dormmates for yule and little less than a year later, I'm off to Gringotts to fill out a Crisis Guardianship Contract. And then this last summer? Then the end of her second year? She brings home boys.
Boys. Moony, my 12-year-old daughter brought home 15-year-old boys. And not just one either, but three of them. Three!
And if that's not bad enough, the middle of August, just gone? The father of two of them floo's me and asks if I'd foster them. They're the middle pair in a large family and their mother's had a breakdown. Harry's death hit them hard and their mother has been having flashbacks to her own brothers' deaths as a result. She's spending a lot of time smothering the younger kids, but the twins are conveniently forgotten, their father thinks it to do with the fact that they're twins and look like her brothers. I don't see it, but hey, I'm not their sister.
And the third boy, he's a muggle-raised halfblood, his father was an Auror and was killed in a raid on Knockturn, his mother's a muggle, she works for one of the airlines, don't ask me which one, his older sister's at Uni up in Edinburgh and isn't allowed to have him stay with her on campus.
So, now I've got, basically, five kids.
Stop laughing. I didn't plan on it, it just happened.
Anyway, I was talking to kitten and the kidlets and we decided that we should invite you for yule, seeing as Dumbledore insists that Hogwarts only celebrates Christmas, you won't get a real yule otherwise.
Kitten also says, you're spending a lot of time with Flitwick and Snape, so if you want to bring them along, too, we're fine with that.
Anyway, I'd better get a move on. There's only so many days left before I'm inundated with kids and I want to get the shopping over with.
See you soon.
?
"Oh, my…" Lupin passed the letter across to Snape and watched as he read it.
"Really?" Snape groaned. "His daughter is teaming up with…" Snape trailed off before cursing. "Oh bloody bollocks!"He snarled.
"What?" Lupin asked. "What did I miss?"
"Who else but his daughter could the Princess of Pranks?" Snape glared at the letter. "And she's teamed up with the twins. How many pairs of twin boys in sixth year do you think we have? Dammit!"
"His daughter? Who's daughter?" Lupin.
"Oh, for heaven's sake, Lupin!" Snape moved his glare from the letter to the other wizard.
"What has you two glaring at each other so severely?" Filius Flitwick entered the office. "Ah, I see you got my list. Any one on there, that catches your eye, Remus?"
"Forget the list we know who they are and who he is." Snape huffed.
"We do?" Remus blinked.
"We do?" Flitwick paused in mid-step.
"Read this." Snape held up the recently delivered letter. "It was sent to Lupin, just a few minutes ago."
"May I?" Flitwick looked to Lupin for permission. The Sandy haired wizard nodded and watched as Snape passed the single sheet of parchment to Flitwick. Seconds passed while the charms Professor read the letter, then sat back with a frown on his face. "I see. Well, that explains a lot."
"What does?" Lupin asked.
"He hasn't figured it out yet." Snape sighed as he said this to Flitwick.
"Really? I would have expected…"
"No." Snape sighed again. "I think he's trying too hard, that he's just not seeing it."
"Ah, yes, that's a possibility." The charms Professor nodded.
"Alright." Lupin huffed. "What did I miss?" Before Snape and Flitwick could answer, there was a tapping at the student-access door to the office. "Excuse me for a moment." He stood, crossed to the door and opened it. "Miss Grimmley? What can I do for you?"
The third year Gryffindor didn't answer, she just ducked under his arm and entered the office.
"Good afternoon, Professor Snape, Professor Flitwick." She cast a quick glance at the desk and spotted her father's writing. "Oh, good, you got Da's letter."
"Da's letter?" Lupin asked.
"Well, yeah." Titania gestured towards the desk. "Are you coming for yule or not?'
"What?" Lupin asked, seemingly confused.
"Miss Grimmley?" Snape cut in. "It seems Professor Lupin hasn't figured out who your father is, yet."
"Oh, hell. Uncle Moony... I thought you were smarter than that." Titania whined.