Chapter 7: The Fourth Encounter Part II
Asha sat at a makeshift desk composed of a wide plank of wood balanced atop two barrels. Her posture was slumped as she stared down at the map pinned down by her elbows as she grasped her short rosy locks.
Eyes unfocused, her thoughts were compiled of other things that preoccupied her mind that had nothing to do with the sketched landscape of the map.
The sound of canvas flapping accompanied by a warm breeze that rustled her hair announced that she was no longer alone. Her eyes remained cast down, she did not need to look up to know who it was. When she blinked, the lines of the map suddenly came into focus to depict a sketched out cartograph of the area.
"We should find out what we can about the goblin swarm from Oakenshield before they leave," she said as she stood from the chair and continued to hover over the map. Still not looking at him, she began to trace various lines. "We have been unsuccessful in finding a route in three months, now is our opportunity. We can start planning now and when the group that went south to the brown lands returns, we can finally make our move."
"Asha," came the deep calming voice of Habard.
"If we work quick enough, we can be finished and ready to move on within two months," she continued without making any acknowledgment to his call for attention. She pointed to a spot on the map. "Framir said you first spotted them up here," she trailed her finger up to a section of the map that depicted the foothills of the mountain range. "The entrance in which they escaped must be somewhere over here. Which means there could be two ways一"
She stopped speaking when a large hand settled over hers. She froze, but still did not look up.
"Are you really not going to give them aid?"
Her fingers curled beneath his hand.
"It is not my decision to一"
"That is bullshit," he interceded. "We give purpose to those who are lost and we fight for those who have lost," he recited. "That is what we do. That is what you do. You built this guild with your rules and that motto." He paused for a moment then added quietly, "You already broke the rules today...don't break the motto too."
For the first time since he had entered she looked up at him. His grey eyes were stormy but she could not tell if it was anger, or disappointment that he was feeling.
Unable to keep eye contact any longer, she bowed her head.
"I am sorry," she whispered weakly. "I...I just...I wanted him to know. I wanted him to know what he put us through. I wanted him to feel guilty."
His hand left hers and found her chin. Pushing lightly, he forced her to look back up at him.
"Why?" he questioned. "I know I am not a Brimir, I did not harvest the feud but Dhom was my home. I too was bitter that Erebor did not come, but can we really blame Thorin? Who is to say their armies would have made a difference? Grór's army from the Iron Hills couldn't break through, why would you think Erebor's armies would be any different?"
"I always thought that...that he would…" Her eyes squeezed shut as they began to burn from the on coming tears that were threatening to appear. Taking in a deep breath, she shook her head slightly. "It is long past now. There is no changing it."
His hand fell from her chin and she heard him take a few steps towards the entrance of the tent. When she did not hear him depart, she cracked open her eyes to see him at the doorway, one hand paused on the opening. His dark mane shifted as he twisted to look at her, his grey eyes sympathetic and understanding.
"Ivor was never the father."
It was a statement, not a question.
Asha stared back at him.
"I never said he was," she replied calmly.
"But you never denied it when people assumed."
She swallowed.
"How did you know?" she asked quietly.
He tilted his head, looking at her with an ironic smile.
"Take several decades away and the eyes aside...he is the spitting image of him."
She gave him a weak smile.
"Yes. I suppose he is."
"Is that why you are refusing to help him?" he asked.
Asha stared blankly, unsure of how to answer. She looked down at the table and began tracing the mountain range drawn on the map.
"I honestly don't know why," she finally admitted. "I am conflicted between my own bitterness and the purpose that our lives now serve. I do not wish to be the spiteful woman, but...I am afraid. It hurt Habard, it still does."
Habard's expression softened. His grey eyes looked at her with empathy.
"My father once told me that if you could not make a decision, it would be better to flip a coin and let it go to chance. That way, if it all goes to shit, at least you can blame the coin and not yourself."
She looked at him curiously.
"So you are saying I should just flip a coin."
Habard shrugged.
"Flip a coin, throw some dice, pick a card…" he trailed off for a moment as he looked at her. "It's been awhile since we have had some entertainment around here. I can't imagine anyone could be disappointed no matter the outcome if they at least got to see a good show."
He winked at her and then left her to mull things over.
Asha looked down at the table.
At the corners and edges of the map, there were several stones laid upon it to keep it laid flat on the table. A particularly flat rock caught her eye and she let her hand move towards it. One side was utterly smooth while the other side was course. Her plam felt the soothing smoothness only to experience the scratching roughness of the other side as her fingers rotated it.
She had once made a wager many years ago. Its results led to the greatest and worst moments of her life. Love and heartbreak. Trust and devastation. Both sides of the spectrum. Just like the rock, rough and smooth. As the smooth side settled in her palm she curled her fingers around it so she could feel both surfaces.
Perhaps Habard's father had the right idealism. His son was also right.
It had been awhile since their camp had some entertainment. It would do well to boost morale. But it would not be a coin toss or a simple roll of the die. No, she had a much better idea.
Her eyes lifted up to the flap and she called out to the guard standing outside the tent. The moment the dwarf stepped through the flap he looked at her, waiting for her command.
"Tell Thorin Oakenshield that I have made my decision," she replied. "Have him and his group brought back to the central tent."
Not long after Asha had left them to think of her answer, Habard entered the tent, untied their bonds and bid them to follow him. As he led the company to another part of camp the smell of smoke and food began to become more pronounced until they arrived at the mess tent.
Several tables and benches where located under a large canopy with open walls. Several of them were occupied with large groups of men and women, all talking and laughing together. Habard weaved through the tables, occasionally greeting people who called out to him until he came to an empty table and stood in front of it.
"I was instructed to treat you as guests, you are free to wander anywhere in the camp but you are not permitted to leave the clearing," he specified. "However, I would suggest staying here until a decision has been made so that you may receive your answer more swiftly. If you need help, ask anyone and they will help you or direct you to someone who can."
He wandered off to speak with a large dwarf wearing an apron. After a brief conversation, he returned.
"Malak will bring you some food and ale in a moment," he quickly said, before walking away from the table again.
It was not long after the captain's departure that the large cook came over with a platter of food, followed by several assistants who also carried platters with more food, plates, utensils, and pints of ale.
"Hope you do not mind nothin' too fancy. When cookin' for a whole camp you tend to lose delicacy and replace it with quantity. Though with you being on the road I s'pose this would look like a feast. If ya need anythin' just give us a holler and either I or one of me assistants will 'elp you."
"Thank you," said Thorin.
Malik gave a bow then went back to work leaving them to serve themselves.
The company began to eat in silence, occasionally sneaking a glimpse over to the other tables where the inhabitants of the camp were conversing with each other. It was a foreign sight for all of them to see. Elves, men, and dwarves sitting and enjoying each others company.
Fili and Kili watched a table nearby. An arm wrestling match was going on between the tables occupants. A loud roar erupted as a dwarrowdam slammed down the arm of a larger looking man. Each contestant shook hands and offered a wide smile as small exchanges of coin were passed around them.
Fili felt a nudge in his side and looked to Ori who was sitting to his left. Ori pointed in front of them over Nori's and Dori's heads who where seated across from them.
"Look who it is," he whispered quietly before turning to catch Kili's attention and pointing out his discovery.
Fili searched for what Ori was pointing at and found it when his eyes fell upon Thyra who was walking towards the mess tent. Her hair was sagging from the loosened band that usually held it up. Several large pieces of hair had fallen free of its restraints and framed face which was tinted red with exertion. It looked as if she had just finished rolling around in the dirt as her clothes and skin were covered in dirt and grime. Next to her was Sigurd who was walking beside her, looking in the same disarray.
They each walked briskly as they spoke with one another, both of them too wrapped up in their conversation to pay attention to their surroundings. They would not have even looked their way had Kili not caught sight and suddenly burst from his seat, calling wildly out to them.
"Sigurd! Thyra!" He shouted waving his hands wildly.
In Fili's opinion, it made him look like an idiot, but he was an idiot Fili loved unconditionally.
Kili's loud shout cause both girls to look around until they spotted him. With wide eyes, they stared at him.
Sigurd recovered first and altered their route. As they approached, Sigurd smiled widely at the tables occupants while Thyra seemed to sulkily follow her.
"So you guys are part of the guild?" Kili asked as they came to a stop at the end of the table. "Why did you not tell us?"
A guilty look flashed across Sigurd's face.
"Sorry," she began quietly. "It's just that–"
"She's bound by oath," cut in Thyra. "And not obligated to tell you anything."
She moved her attention to Sigurd.
"Don't apologize when you have done nothing wrong," she growled. "Its makes your other apologies meaningless."
Sigurd nodded looking very much like a chastised child despite her seniority of age above the other girl. Seeing Sigurd being cowed so easily, brought an annoyance to Fili. His brother had just been asking a question and Sigurd should not be spoken down to. Too many times he had seen his own brothers confidence attacked by other, more dominant characters like Thyra. He had spent his life defending his brother and he had no hesitation coming to the aid of the sweet hearted dwarrowmaid as well.
"You should not talk to her like that. Nor should you speak to my brother in such a way. Kili was just inquiring," Fili growled to Thyra. "He was just curious. How was he supposed to know?"
Thyra only rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath in Régán. While he did not understand the words, her tone was enough to tell him that her words were not ones of praise.
"It would do you well to show respect those who are your elders," Fili added.
Her mouth curled into a sneer but before she opened it to spit out her own words, Kili quickly interfered. While he had meant no offense nor meant to sound demanding, it seemed Thyra took his words differently.
"You are right." He looked to Sigurd. "I am sorry, Thyra was right, I should not have assumed you would just tell us anything," he looked back to Thyra. "I understand we are just barely acquainted and trust should not be placed so easily." A warm grin began to spread across his face at this. "But that just means we need to spend more time together!" He pointed to the empty space next to Dori and across from him. "Please, join us and we can get better acquainted."
Fili watched as Sigurd brightened and immediately moved forward to take a seat. There was a slight, second guessing of her actions when Thyra did not follow suit but Fili watched the determination in her eyes as she pushed through her anxiety. When she had settled, Fili looked up to the still standing dwarrowmaid.
Thyra looked like she would rather sit with a pack of starving wolves than with them. But after a few hesitant moments of internal debating, she finally settled into the tight space remaining. Sigurd seemed to relax more as Thyra sat sandwiched between herself and Bofur.
"Rumor around camp is that you ran into the great goblin himself." Sigurd announced to Kili.
Kili nodded.
"Aye. We got caught up in a storm and when the stone giants began their fighting. It forced us to take refuge inside of a cave. But it turned out that cave was the front door into the goblin den."
Sigurd's eyebrows raised.
"Goodness. You were quite unlucky in your passing through the mountains."
"Heimskur munni öndun mun ekki hlusta," mumbled Thyra under her breath as she sat with her head bowed and adjusted the sleeve of her shirt.
Fili glanced at her.
"What was that?"
"She said how unfortunate," Sigurd quickly translated.
It was the translation was an altered version. Fili may not have had a knowledge of the language, but he certainly knew her sentence was not that simple nor polite. The lack of sympathy she had possessed in her voice told him that much.
He looked at Thyra again with accusing eyes. Thyra moved her own eyes slowly to meet his. Fili raised his brow expectantly, waiting for her to confirm Sigurd's translation.
"You should have listened," Thyra said sternly. "Bad luck was coming."
Fili let out a scoff.
"It was a coincidence, like one day would have made a difference? It rained the entire way passing through the mountains."
Thyra shrugged.
"Not for us."
This made Fili scowl in disbelief and Sigurd was quick to diffuse the situation.
"Maybe it's because we traveled faster and just barely missed the storm. I am sure it was right behind us."
Fili's face faintly slackened and he sat back, looking a little more relaxed. Sigurd was just about to pat herself on the back when Thyra opened her mouth again. Knowing that whatever was about to escape her friends mouth would destroy the little peace she created, Sigurd quickly stood, dragging Thyra up with her.
"Sorry but we should probably get going, we have duties to attend to."
The two princes watched the girls make a quick departure. Or at least Sigurd attempted to make a quick departure as she failed to drag Thyra long with her.
Despite Sigurd tugging at her arm as well as her advantage in height, Thyra took smooth methodical steps as she firmly kept her own pace undisturbed from her friends persistence.
Not long after the abrupt departure of the two women, a man approached the table. He immediately looked to Thorin when he addressed them.
"Our commander has made a decision," he said. "Asha has asked that you return to the central tent where she will give you her answer."
Fili immediately looked to Thorin who swallowed thickly then nodded.
It was an oddity to see his uncle look so nervous and he was certain that it was not because of anticipation of her answer. It was because of Asha. Asha made his uncle uneasy. He had not noticed it immediately at first but just recently he had become aware of the effect Asha had on him. Now when he looked back to the two previous encounters that involved Asha, he recalled the same uneasiness had been there as well.
It made his curiosity surge in want to know the history between the woman and his uncle.
"I offer you a wager." She said.
"You mean gamble?" Asked Thorin. "You would leave the fate of Erebor to chance?"
Asha shrugged, her facade the perfect image of indifference.
"Why not? If I recall we once made a wager before. Given your determination then, I would have thought you would have jumped at such a chance again."
She looked down at her lap and brushed off some invisible dirt. Then her eyes shot up to him, challenging him.
"But then again maybe you only gamble on things that matter nothing to you."
Thorin's face darkened. He clenched his teeth and met her accusing eyes. He was sick of her taunting him and acting as if he had never cared. Did she truly believe that he had not suffered heart ache? That he never truly cared? That he did not regret nearly every day since those long ago days?
"What shall it be then? Toss some dice? Guess a number? Throw some stones," he spat the last suggestion in a mocking tone, doing his best to mirror her own attitude of contempt.
Two could play at this game of committing sacrilege to some of his most cherished memories.
Asha gave a cynical smile that stopped at her lips, not meeting her eyes.
"No, not dice. A dual. Your best fighter against one of mine. If you lose, you leave without my help. If you win, I will give you provisions to get through your journey and when the time comes, we will fight for you. But you must also allow any of my men who wish to join Erebor into the kingdom as equal citizens."
Hushed whispers spread like a wave through the refilled tent. Thorin did not need to think, at least this way he could have a chance.
"I accept."
Asha nodded.
"Who will fight for you?"
Thorin looked to Dwalin who nodded his head. As much as he wanted to fight himself, he knew Dwalin was still better in duals.
"Dwalin," he said looking back to Asha. "Who will be yours?"
He eyed a large dwarf standing near the dais. He had seen many a warrior just like this one within the camp and he was curious as to if she had a certain warrior in mind or if she would just choose one at random.
"Habard," Asha said, looking at the captain.
Thorin felt slightly nervous when she heard him call his name. Habard was large and given his status among the camp, he was most likely not just a skilled warrior, but a smart one. It would certainly be a closely matched duel.
Just as Thorin began to weigh the odds of success, Asha spoke again and at her next sentence, Thorin felt completely befuddled.
"Will you please fetch Thyra, it seems she is needed," she requested, looking at Thorin.
Dwalin let out a laugh as well as several others in the company, even Thorin smiled slightly.
Asha looked at Dwalin.
"Does something amuse you?"
Dwalin looked to her.
"No offense but I thought you wanted to win this match," he said. "Seems to me it's a bit of an unfairly matched dual."
Asha smiled.
"Your right, it is not," she agreed. Then added, "but hopefully Mahal will be on your side and will bless you with luck."
Some heavy footsteps sounded as Habard returned causing any rebuttal to interrupted. Thyra followed behind him, accompanied by Sigurd. She looked inquisitively at the company as she passed by, her eyes scanning each member, pausing longer on Fili. Her eyes darkened slightly but then moved on as she walked to the front where Asha sat.
"Thyra, we have come to a decision on how to determine if we help this company or not. A duel between you and Dwalin will decide it."
Fili watched Thyra as she looked at, or in better terms, looked up to Dwalin who towered over her. He was easily a head and a half taller than her, perhaps nearly two heads. And his body was three times her own small frame. She was a muscular girl but when compared to Dwalin she looked frail. However, despite their contrast, she seemed unphased when she looked up at him.
She gave a single nod to Asha after a short moment who looked out across the crowd when Thyra gave her agreement.
"The dual will take place tomorrow at mid morning. That will give each competitor a chance to fully rest for a night," she looked to Thorin. "You and your men will be given a place to stay, you already know where you can find your meals."
With her final words, she stood up and departed. The rest of the occupants of the tent began departing as well now that the meeting was adjourned.
The air buzzed with excitement as those filing out of the tent began to discuss the upcoming dual and began to already make wagers. It seemed the fact that they all might possibly be marching to Erebor within the next few days was out shined by the show that would commence.
They were given the infirmary as a place to rest. It was that, or split up into individual tents as the infirmary was the only place large enough to accommodate their numbers. It was luck that the majority of its beds were vacant of any patients except for one man who was ill with fever.
Thorin was not entirely untrusting of Asha. He did not think they were in any danger, but it did not mean he would blindly let his guard down. He had to remind himself that Asha was not the same person he once knew.
So he went against his natural instinct and took up some precautions. Sticking together was one of them.
When they arrived, Thorin was relieved to see what remained of their supplies and all their weapons had been returned to them as well. Not only just returned but freshly cleaned and sharpened before laid neatly on the cots provided for them.
He wondered if this had been done under Asha's order or someone who was just bored. The later assumption came to him when he discovered that Sigurd and Thyra resided within the infirmary tent as well.
With Sigurd acting as the camps main healer and limited shelters, they took there quarters there. A small curtain on the far end of the rectangular tent gave a small space of privacy for the two girls and a place to keep their own cots and personal belongings.
After such a long day, the company was gathering for an early nights rest when the two girls appeared and explained their situation. Sigurd had gone immediately to the side of the single patient and began going through a routine of checking his forehead, helping him drink some water, then helping him eat a few mouthfuls of broth.
Thyra on the other hand, had gone straight to her cot. It was then that Thorin noticed the wet stone and polishing cloth laid out on her bed. He smiled faintly at the sight as he readjusted his thinking that Asha had instructed their weapons to be cleaned.
As the members of his group settled into their beds and Thyra waited for Sigurd to finish checking on her patient before preparing for sleep, Thorin watched the small Régínn girl closely.
He could not fathom why Asha would choose her, of all the able bodied soldiers within this camp, to go against Dwalin in the duel tomorrow. Yes she certainly was a fighter but there came a point that skill was overpowered by size. It was true she had done well against the trolls. But trolls where stupid creatures to begin with.
Dwalin, despite what some would say, was quite intelligent. At least when it came to warfare and fighting strategy he was. For Asha to be a Brimir she would know this. As a Brimir it was expected to be well trained it strategy and tactics.
He was unable to ponder much further as weariness took over his thoughts. When Sigurd moved away from her patient and pulled the curtain closed to give herself and Thyra privacy, Thorin let his wonderment go. He would get his answer tomorrow when the duel took place.
Fili stared up at the canopy that was suspended above him as his mind wandered to his deepest thoughts. He had awaken what felt like hours ago and had yet to fall back asleep.
There was no telling whether it was still night or early morning but given the darkness of the exterior of the tent, he could only guess it was still night. Had they been anywhere else but the encampment, Thorin would have had a watch going throughout the night. But given the security of the guild and his hesitated miniscule trust he had put into Asha, Thorin had decided to forgo it and let the company rest through the night. Unfortunately, Fili's body did not have the same idea and he had awoken at the allotted time he would usually wake for his shift.
Fili crushed his eyelids closed again and tried to coax his mind to sleep. Taking in a deep breath, he slowly released it as he concentrated all thought on relaxing his body. The attempt of meditation only worked for a moment before almost instantly his mind and ears were invaded by the noises of the night.
Bombur's bear like snore seemed to rattle his very bones with vibrations as Kili's constant restless legs moved about in his sleep. Two deep voices in a low conversation slowly came and went as a pair of members of the guild walked by the tent. Their silhouettes danced across the tent canvas as they walked past a small campfire that was lit just outside.
He let out another breath, this time more quickly as the irritation of his restlessness got to him. After another try and failure to relax, he quickly sat up and glared around the tent.
Bodies laid out in rows, all deep in sleep with a few occasionally turning over or letting out a light cough or snore. Their had been just enough empty cots in the tent for all of them.
It was this small fact that made Fili pause in his scan around the tent when his eyes fell onto an empty bed at the far end of the tent where Sigurd and Thyra had been sleeping. The bed was only visible because the curtain that had been pulled closed earlier when he had first fallen asleep was open.
Sigurd lay peacefully on her side.
She stirred slightly as she rolled over but quickly settled into a calm stillness. As she settled, Fili's eyes moved back to the empty cot. Then he continued to finish his survey of the tent.
With each lingering moment he sat up, the more he felt alert. By the time his eyes swept back to his brother, he knew that there would be no point in trying to lay down again. He was fully awake now.
As quietly as he could, so as to not disturb those lucky enough to still be sleeping, he shifted himself to sit sideways on his bed. He rubbed the remnants of sleep from his eyes before beginning to pull on his boots.
Pulling the tent flap open, he was surprised to see the night sky was a deep navy as the beginning of dawn approached to announce the start of a new day. His hand ran through his hair as he took in a breath of the cool crisp air. He was impressed with the efficiency of the tent in keeping in the warmth inside and his mind wandered to the coat he had left beside his bed. Just as he was about to turn back and retrieve it, he remembered the fire that had been outside the tent and looked in its direction.
Someone was already sitting down next to it. The small form and blonde hair gave away her identity immediately.
Thyra sat on the ground with her back leaned against a small pile of firewood. Her head was bowed as she leaned over a book propped against her knees. At first he hesitated to move, not wanting to be near her, but as a small breeze carrying a cold chill passed by, he shivered. It was uncomfortable enough that he found the displeasure of her company not as unappealing that the discomfort of the cold. With that, he managed to move his feet towards the fire.
As he approached she looked up from her book and he realized that she had a piece of charcoal in her hand. Expecting her to glare at him and possibly send a biting remark, he felt the skin on the back of his neck already preparing to bristle. But she did the opposite and looked back down to her book without any word.
Automatically he felt himself bristle at being ignored. He knew he should not care but her ignoring him seemed to be worse than speaking to him. It was rude to not acknowledge a person.
It was obvious she did not care about his presence, so to spite her, he took a seat on the ground across from her. Her head remained bowed, but Fili caught sight of her dark eyes look in his direction from beneath the veil of her thick lashes. His mouth curled slightly in triumph as he noticed her grip the charcoal more firmly and her lips twitch in visible annoyance. They were subtle and he nearly missed them, but they were there.
He smiled, content in being successful in his attempt to get under her skin for once.
They sat silently with nothing but the occasional crackle of embers from the fire, a chirp of a cricket, and the sound of charcoal being dragged across parchment. Fili watched the flames flicker and dance as he occasionally glanced in the direction of Thyra.
She continued to ignore him and his earlier satisfaction quickly dissipated with each passing moment that she continued to blatantly fail to acknowledge him. His brows merged together as he unconsciously scowled at the girl seated across from him.
"From me, you want?"
Fili startled slightly at the sound of her voice. She had not looked up as she continued to draw and had assumed she did not know he had been looking at her. Once recovered, he processed what she had spoken, trying his best to decipher past the thick accent and poor wording.
"What?"
She looked up when he asked for clarification, a small twinge in her cheek as she clenched her jaw. A sign of frustration.
"You keep staring," she said slowly and consciously. "What youーwhat do you want?" She quickly corrected, putting emphasis on her earlier mistake.
He contemplated on what to say. All he really wanted was for her to acknowledge him like any other civilized person would do. But now that he had her attention, he found himself with being annoyed by having to bother speaking with her. It was childish and unlike him, but maybe that is why he disliked her. She made brought out actions and thoughts he did not normally express.
However, despite this, a question managed to pop into his mind as he thought.
"Why are you not sleeping?" He finally asked.
She looked at him for a long moment without saying a word. The longer she stayed silent the more he began to think she did not understand his question. So he decided to take a page out of Kili's book.
He pointed up to the night sky..
"Its night time. Why are you not sleeping?"
He placed his hands together and mimicked sleeping. When he opened his eyes he saw her staring at him as if he were insane. A wave of foolishness washed over him and he shook his head.
"Forget it."
He said with frustration.
Thyra frowned and moved her attention back to the book as Fili went back to watching the fire.
"I have...martraðir."
Fili jerked his head up and looked at Thyra. She was looking at him with an undecided expression. As if questioning herself as to why she was giving him and answer.
"Martraðir?" he parroted with confusion.
She paused as if trying to find the right word that Fili could understand.
"I see pictures." She pointed to her head. "Here."
Fili's eyes narrowed as he tried to understand what she was trying to say. Then it dawned on him.
"Dreams?" he suggested.
Thyra contemplated the word not looking completely satisfied.
"Not happy. Dark."
"Oh," he said, slightly more enthusiastic as he seemed to forget who he was speaking with. "Those are nightmares," Fili supplied.
Her face tilted at the word.
"Nightmares," she repeated, trying out the word.
It was badly pronounced and she tried it on her tongue a few more times until even her accent could be hardly noticed.
For the first time, Fili felt sorry for her. The reality of her situation dawned on him. To be stuck in a world that she could hardly understand and nothing of familiarity. From the facts he knew, she certainly was not old enough to have ever been with any of the groups that ventured in these parts before. And recalling Sigurd's story of how they came to find her, he began to wonder what those people who had perished had been to her.
Had her family been on that ship? Did she witness the slaughter or did she become unconscious only to wake up to the news of her dead kin? With those thoughts, It was no wonder she was having nightmares. He looked at her with this new adjustment in his mind.
"Why not you?" she asked in a curious tone.
Fili looked at her closely trying to understand what she was referring to. She mimicked his gesture of pointing to the sky then laying her head to the side with her eyes closed. When she opened up her eyes, she looked at him expectantly. Her dark eyes fixed on his.
Fili fought the smile that tried to arise at her method of mimicking his earlier gesture. It truly did look ridiculous.
He shrugged his shoulders.
"My mind is too busy."
She kept her eyes fixed on him and he realized she was waiting for more of an explanation.
"I can't stop thinking about our quest. About what will happen."
She nodded. She closed her book and used her arms to pivot herself to face him more directly. Onyx orbs looked at him thoughtfully and he felt himself become uncomfortable under her gaze.
"You fear what will happen if your quest is successful."
It was not a question. Fili stared at her awe of just how close she was to the truth but then he quickly narrowed his eyes.
"No I donー..."
"You are the heir to your uncle. All your life you have known you will take the title. But the title is not the same thing as a throne," she said cutting him off. "You fear that you will actually have to live up to what is expected of you."
Fili stiffened. He did not like the way she was declaring how HE was feeling.
Admittedly she was correct in her assessment but he refused to accept that fact. Confessing that she was right would be unacceptable. She did not know him well enough to know such things.
"I am not afraid," he growled. "I am more than ready to take upon the leadership of my people. I was born for it. It is my right."
Thyra quirked an eyebrow. "It is no one's right to take a throne," she replied lazily. "It is a privilege bestowed upon a soul. And it is a privilege that can be taken just as easily."
Slowly she got to her feet, her hand grasping a log from the pile she had been leaning against and walked to the dying fire. She tossed the log in, sending a burst of sparks of orange and red into the air. Dark eyes stared down at the small flames as they began to consume the new fuel.
"Anyone can be a monarch," she said sagely as her eyes continued to stare into the flames. "Some were destined, while others make it their destiny. Those who sacrifice are the good ones. They are not the selfish ones."
"I am not selfish," Fili defended, his anger masking the insecure fear he had always harbored beneath the surface of his facade of confidence.
That fear being that he was never worthy.
Fili always knew his circumstances would have been much different had Erebor not fallen and had his uncle not always been reluctant in seeking out a mate. He was only heir because Thorin had no son. Because of that, he had always felt as though he were never the rightful heir.
"I will do everything in my power to be the perfect ruler. I will do everything that is asked of me...even if it means giving up my deepest wishes."
She tilted her head then shrugged. Her nonchalant attitude only made him more defensive. It was obvious she was not going to push the subject but her lack of showing belief in his words provoked him.
"You do not think I will be a good king?" He accused.
Thyra looked down at him, she took a few steps forward and stopped only a pace away.
"No," she said in a bored tone, causing Fili to look at her with disbelief.
He opened his mouth, getting ready to rise to his own feet but was stopped when she reached out a hand and patted him on the head. Once, twice, and then she spoke.
"Do not worry Feelig," she said in mock comfort. "You are not King...not yet."
He was left speechless and annoyed. As he listened to her footsteps begin to fade as he stared at the now empty space she had occupied earlier. His skin prickled at the top of his head where she had patted him. Patted him like he was some little child or untrained puppy. Anger grew and he managed to whip around and glare at her retreating back.
"It's FILI!" he hissed as loudly as he dared at such an early hour.
Whether she heard him or not, she made no acknowledgement. She merely continued towards the tent where she disappeared behind the flap.
Fili stayed out until the sky had lightened to a deep purple and it was then that he decided to return to his bed and try to sleep again. As he entered, he could not help but glance towards the end of the tent where Thyra's and Sigurd's cots lay. The curtain had been shifted again but he could still see past it where it was slightly askew to reveal a single empty cot.
Thyra was gone.
Again he felt a perturbed feeling swell within his stomach at the fact that she had somehow exited the tent only a few yards away without his knowledge.
…..