(11)

"You're up early."

Before Erin could turn around to greet her boyfriend a good morning, Jay was already behind her. She smiled when she felt his arms come around her waist and he dropped a kiss on her head.

"You okay?" Jay asked, gently turning her around so he could look at her. His concerned eyes checked her over, Jay being protective as always. Normally, Erin would be irritated at being treated like a fragile doll but since it was Jay, it felt nice to be cared for this much. "Are you in pain? Is that why you couldn't sleep?"

She chuckled and shook her head. "I'm fine. Great, actually. But I've slept so much the past two days that I just can't sleep anymore." She stepped slightly back from the loose hold Jay had on her, still minding her injuries. "So I thought I'd get up and make breakfast."

"So that's what I'm smelling," Jay teased, earning a smack on his chest. Erin glared at him, not appreciating his joke about her cooking skills. While she was still no Martha Stewart, she had improved leaps and bounds when it came to cooking.

"See if you get any of the bacon now," Erin warned, stepping out of his arms and turning around. Jay laughed and just pulled her back in his arms, his chest rumbling with laughter against her back.

"I don't need any bacon. I just need you and a good morning kiss."

Erin snorted and she shuddered at how saccharine Jay's words were. "It's a good thing that I didn't put any sugar in your coffee. Looks like you're already sweet enough," she said, reaching for the thermos that she had prepared for him and shoving it in his chest.

"You made me coffee for work?" Jay asked, grinning at how she packed him coffee to go. "Aww, look who's being sweet?" he teased, rubbing the top of her head and messing up her hair. Erin swiped at him, pouting and dodging his hand to mess her hair up even more. "You're such a good housewife."

Erin tried to keep the glare on her face but seeing the wide grin and amused glint in Jay's eyes made it nearly impossible for her to be annoyed with him. She loved it whenever Jay was like this— unguarded and cheeky. He was endearing this way and always made her smile.

"Since you've been such a good househusband with taking care of me, I thought I should step up my game." Jay had been especially amazing with her these past two days. He had taken care of her so Erin wouldn't have to lift a finger or put too much strain on her. Even though she had insisted that her injuries were minor and she was fine helping out, Jay wouldn't hear of it and opted to wait on her hand and foot. It had been a long time since someone had taken care of Erin like this so she let it be, deciding to fully enjoy the special attention.

But there was only so much lounging around and laying in bed she could do so after two days of uninterrupted quiet time to recover, she decided enough was enough. She wanted-needed— to get back to work and Jay needed to get back to work. Voight had been nice enough to not make too much noise about Jay taking a couple of personal days but Erin knew the leash was only so long. Besides, she didn't want Jay to waste his personal days on her when she was perfectly fine, aside from a few scratches and the wound on her arm.

While Jay showered and got ready to go into work, Erin finished preparing their food. She still had the day off— her last one after coming to a compromise with Jay to take it easy on herself. But Jay was returning to work today. She knew he wasn't really looking forward to going in— not only because he didn't want Erin to be alone— but also because, he knew that he'd be met with relentless questions from the team. Erin understood what he was feeling. She had been avoiding texts and calls from Kim and Voight the past couple of days, not wanting to deal with them just yet. She knew that the people that she cared about wanted to know more about her and Jay but she just didn't want to deal with the questions just yet.

"Ah, so I do get bacon," Jay commented when she put the plate in front of him. "I knew you wouldn't be that cruel."

Erin just shook her head fondly and took a bite of the pancakes. After they polished off all the food, Erin took the plates from him and dropped them into the sink. She felt Jay come up behind her and turned to see him holding up the ointment that the doctor had recommended for her to heal her cuts faster and keep them from scarring.

"I'll help you put it on before I leave," Jay said, holding her arm and leading her to the chair. She had been negligent with the doctor's suggestion to put the ointment on three times a day and if she was alone, she knew there was a good chance that the ointment would've never been opened. But Jay was like an alarm clock— punctual and vigilant— and always made sure that the ointment was applied.

She sat still as Jay used a q-tip to apply the ointment on the cuts on her neck and chest, being super gentle and careful with her as always. He bent his head and leaned in close, his eyes concentrated on the task. She smiled warmly as how focused he looked taking care of her. He was like her personal nurse.

"Thank you," she whispered, holding onto his arms after he was done. "For taking care of me."

He laid a kiss on her forehead and tuck her hair behind her ear. "Always."

She held his face and looked at him tenderly, her heart swelling with affection for him. She knew that he didn't need a 'thank you' from her but she wanted him to know just how grateful she was to him for everything.

"Okay, I have to go or otherwise, I'd never make it out the door," Jay said, breaking the moment. He put the lid back on the medication and Erin took it from him, letting him know that she'd put it away and clean up. She stood up as Jay gathered up the things he needed like his keys and phone and shoved them all in his pockets.

"Here." Erin took the thermos of coffee and handed it over to him. He took it and gave her a grin.

"Thanks." Erin just nodded and walked him to the door. "Alright. I'll have my phone on me all day so just call if you need anything."

Erin wanted to roll her eyes. "I know."

"Anything at all, okay?" Erin nodded. Jay stood still, wearing an apprehensive expression. He looked reluctant to leave. Now Erin did roll her eyes and practically shoved him out the door. He got the hint and gave in. "Okay, I'm going."

"Be careful," Erin said, giving him a quick goodbye kiss. Jay tried to prolong the kiss but Erin knew he'd never leave if she gave in. So she broke the kiss, wiping his lips with her fingers. "Go."

Jay laughed. "Yeah, yeah. I get the hint." He sighed, holding her face in his palm. "I'm gonna go. I love you." He pressed a final kiss on her forehead before he turned and left. Erin watched him walk away and turned the corner before she finally closed the door.

She headed back inside, ready to clean up her kitchen, when she suddenly came to an abrupt stop. Her heart came to just as sudden and quick stop as she did when she finally realized what Jay just said. He just said 'I love you' to her. Her mouth parted in surprise at his words, not expecting them at all. And he had just said it so casually that she wondered if he even realized that he said them in the first place.

Erin had never been one for fuss. She never wanted or needed loud public displays of affection or grand romantic gestures in her relationship. She preferred quiet and intimate displays of love. Jay just told her that he loved her and those three words just rolled off his tongue so easily like he had been saying them to her his whole life. Erin's face slowly split into a smile and she sat down on the chair, placing her hand over her chest. Her heart was swelling, hearing those words come from Jay.

It wasn't the first time she had heard those three little words from Jay or the second or even the third. Neither of them were the type of people that needed to hear declarations of love daily to know how the other felt. Even the first time either of them even said the words to each other had been so casual and simple. She still remembered them sitting in the car while they were stopped at a redlight and her just turning around and telling him that she was completely in love with him. She remembered how good it was to let those words out of her mouth and how she just fell in love with him just a little bit more, seeing the happy grin that came over his mouth at her love confession. Then when the stoplight turned green, she just continued to drive like the momentous event wasn't a big deal.

Because maybe to her, it really wasn't. She was in love with Jay and she wanted him to know. She wanted him to understand that she wanted a life with him and wanted him to move in with her. She wasn't even worried when he didn't say those words back to her right away. She didn't need him to because she always knew that he loved her before he ever uttered those three words to her. She didn't need him to say 'I love you' to know that he did. Because Jay proved his love with his actions— the way he cared for her, never gave up on her, supported her and trusted her.

That was the way they've always worked. Like loving each other was a fact of their lives and had been even before they even got in an official relationship. They never needed a grand and dramatic declaration to prove their love for each other. But Erin's heart was still beating out of her chest as she sat in her kitchen, replaying those words over and over in her head. She smiled, happiness filling her whole body. Jay was in love with her. Even after everything that they had been through and all the curveballs life had thrown at them, here they were. Together. Committed. In love.

And Erin was ready to take the next step.

(12)

Jay was a nervous wreck as he stood outside of Erin's door. He still couldn't believe what he did earlier this morning and how he just let it slip that he loved her. Not that he didn't. He was in love with Erin, completely. He had loved her for years and even when they were apart, he never fell out of love with her. And now that they were together again, his feelings only grew stronger. He had been wanting to tell her that for a while now but always held himself back, not wanting to push Erin. But then he just had to go and be an idiot and let it slip out. He didn't even realize that he said it until he got to the station and came to a heart stopping realization of what he did. He fretted it about it all day long, wondering what Erin was thinking. He thought about calling Erin so he'd know her reaction but wasn't able to build up enough courage to. Even the fact that Hailey had opted to ride around with Rojas instead of him didn't distract him enough from what he did.

He knocked on her door and waited nervously for her to let him inside. Erin opened her door and let him in, Jay following behind her, his eyes carefully studying her. Erin seemed normal enough. Maybe she didn't hear what he said? Maybe he said it quietly enough for his confession to slip by. But he knew that he needed to know one way or another. He was about to bring the topic up when his attention was caught on the suitcase on Erin's couch.

"Why are you packing?" Jay asked as Erin came out of her room with a couple of more shirts and placed them inside her suitcase.

Erin was distracted, more focused on packing. "I have to leave. I'm going to New York."

Jay swore he could feel his heart drop and his blood ran cold when he heard that. His mind was suddenly flashing back to the moment when he first found out that Erin had left for New York and the only thing he could think in his head was that she was running from him again. He had pushed her to New York once again.

"What?" He managed to get out. Erin must have heard the shock or the brokenness in his voice because her head snapped up and her mouth parted open. She dropped the clothes she was holding in her hand and came up to him, placing her hand on his chest.

"I'm going to New York for work, Jay," she reassured him, rubbing his chest. "I'm not leaving you." Jay felt like an idiot for the second time today for making the mistake. He closed his eyes and apologized. Erin cupped his face, waiting for him to open his eyes and look into her eyes. She leaned in closer and pressed her lips gingerly against his, reassuring with her kiss that she wasn't going anywhere. "I have to go to New York for a case. It's a quick one and I'll be back by tomorrow night."

Jay nodded, wrapping his hand around her. "Okay." She kisses his cheek again before pulling away so she could resume packing. He stood watching her, waiting to see if she'd bring up his confession of love from earlier but she didn't.

"Can you help me?" Jay nodded, walking closer to her. "Can you bring my bag to my car?"

"Sure." Jay lifted the overnight bag in his hand, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. She gave him a thank you smile.

"You can go ahead first. I have a few things to finish up here." Jay nodded, leaving his keys and his phone on her kitchen counter before carrying her bag down to her car.

"Alright, the bag is in the car!" Jay announced as he returned to her condo. Erin startled at his voice and jumped. Jay frowned, wondering what she was doing to react that way.

"Thanks," she told him before he could ask her what she was doing. Erin bit her lips and looked at him. She looked like she wanted to ask him something. "Um, can you give me a ride to the airport?"

Jay chuckled, realizing that she was probably nervous about asking him for the favor. Although he had no idea why. He was happy to help her out. Besides it gave him extra time with his girl before she left. He kissed her long and hard when he dropped her off, finding himself already missing her as Erin walked away and Jay went back home alone.

Jay was feeling tired the next morning, having gotten a restless sleep the night prior. He had already gotten too used to sleeping next to Erin that when she wasn't beside him, he couldn't get a good night's sleep. Even though she was only going to be in New York for a day, he couldn't wait until she was back home.

He yawned as he heard the buzzer and went up to the bullpen. He headed to his desk and settled in. They had a busy day yesterday so no one really had the chance to talk to him and ask him questions yet. He wasn't particularly looking forward to being grilled about his relationship with Erin but he knew that he couldn't avoid it. Plus, he also promised Erin that he'd talk to Hailey and clear the air. Erin was concerned and wanted him to have a good partnership with Hailey. Jay knew he needed to talk to her too because it was never a good thing to have things unresolved between partners when they faced life and death situations daily and needed to trust each other and have each other's back. Avoiding it would only breed resentment.

But Hailey had chosen to partner up with Rojas yesterday and pretty much avoided Jay the whole day. Atwater gave him a questioning look at the sudden change but Kevin was easy-going as always, going along with her request.

Jay wondered if she'd be doing the same today and hoped that she wouldn't. Because as much as he was dreading the conversation, he understood that it was one that they needed to have sooner than later.

The opportunity to get Hailey alone didn't come sooner than later. She still rode around with Rojas and Jay tried to give her space and kept his mouth shut. But Voight wouldn't be that compliant, ordering them to sit on a house. Hailey tried to protest and go with Rojas instead but a pointed look from Voight quickly shut that down.

So Jay and Hailey sat in his truck, awkwardness becoming more stifling as the minutes went by in the small space. And frankly, Jay was sick and tired of it. He didn't do anything wrong and he was tired of his partner acting like he did.

"Can we talk?" Jay finally broke the silence. Hailey just shrugged, her head still looking out the window instead of him. Jay sighed, knowing that it wasn't going to be easy. "I'm sorry," he began, thinking that no matter how he felt, it was better to start with an apology.

He saw Hailey clenched her jaw. "For what?"

"For not telling you about me and Erin sooner," Jay replied. "We didn't tell anybody, not just you.I guess we just wanted to keep it to ourselves for as long as we could."

Hailey nodded. "I guess I get it," she returned. "I guess I was just expecting too much. Because I thought since we weren't just partners but actual friends that you'd tell me about something important in your life."

Jay heard the hurt loudly in Hailey's voice and he felt bad because even though he wasn't sorry that he was with Erin and kept it to themselves, he was still sorry that Hailey got hurt. "You got to know Hailey that it wasn't about you. I mean, even Will didn't know until recently and Voight found out the same time you guys did."

"But I'm not Voight!" Hailey shot back. "I'm your partner, Jay."

"And Will's my brother," Jay pointed out that family trumped partnership. He sighed. "Erin and I, we've been through so much together and it wasn't easy for either of us. But at the end of the day, we realized that we still want to be together, no matter how hard it is. It's too important to the both of us and we wanted to keep it between us for as long as we could. So it's not about keeping things from you deliberately or wanting to keep everyone in the dark. We…..we just wanted to protect it."

Jay heard Hailey let out a small scoff. "I said I get it, Jay. I just wished that you told me. Maybe then I wouldn't have made a fool of myself, trying to warn you."

"You were just looking out for me," Jay replied.

"Yeah, I was." Hailey shook her head and leaned her head on her hand. "I think deep down, I knew what was happening anyway."

Jay frowned, wondering what she meant. "You did?"

"You were different ever since she came back to Chicago, even from the start. I remembered watching you at Molly's when Erin was there, trying to see how you'd react. I guess you guys didn't make up yet at the time because I saw the tension from both of you. Then when she came to the station, I saw the change between you two. That's when I knew."

Jay remembered Hailey first warning him about Erin after that visit. Maybe she had seen his reconciliation with Erin before they both did.

"You look happier," Hailey continued. "I guess it's because of her." There was a hint of bitterness in Hailey's voice. "You know, I wanted to tell you that I was in love with you?"

Jay's head shot up at her confession. "What?"

"When you got shot and you were in the hospital, I wanted to tell you that I love you. Vanessa tried to convince me to tell you my feelings but I wasn't brave enough." Hailey looked down and chuckled softly. "I guess I'm just wondering what would've happened if I did? Where we'd be if I just got enough courage and told you that day how I felt."

Jay pressed his lips together. He didn't want to hurt Hailey but he knew he needed to be truthful with her. "To be honest, I'm glad that you didn't tell me." She looked at him with a pained expression. "Because it wouldn't have changed anything."

Hailey looked hurt at his words but Jay knew it was better to rip off the bandage and be completely frank with her.

"I care about you, Hailey," Jay continued. "But only as a partner and friend. We wouldn't have happened even if Erin didn't come back to Chicago."

She dropped her eyes, shaking her head. "I guess I should thank you for being honest with me."

"I'm sorry," Jay apologized. "I don't want to hurt you."

She chuckled. "I'm a big girl, Jay. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. It's not the first time I've been rejected." Jay nodded, not knowing what else to say. He saw Hailey wiped her face and he felt terrible that he made her cry. But they needed to clear the air, no matter how awkward it was.

"I understand if you want to continue riding with Rojas," Jay said. "We could switch partners for the time being."

Hailey shook her head. "No, no need for that. I don't want anyone asking questions of why." She took a deep breath. "I'll get over it. Like I said, I'll be fine. We can still be partners."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'll still have your back." She paused. "Will Erin be okay with it though? Us being partners? Spending lots of time together."

"Yeah," Jay replied immediately. "She's not that type of person. Besides, she was the one who wanted me to talk to you and fix things. She's okay with us being partners."

"Oh. That's nice of her." Jay thought he heard a hint of disappointment in her voice but he let it go for now. If Hailey was fine with them still being partners, then he was too. He just hoped that they would get back to the good place as partners and friends that they were in before. "Are you happy, Jay?"

Jay turned to look at Hailey and nodded. "I'm happy," he said, smiling. "I feel like my world is right for once in a long time. Like I finally found what I've been missing again."

"Okay. I just needed to know that."

Jay left the station the first chance he could. Even though he already talked with Hailey, there was still a lot of awkwardness between the two. Jay suspected that it would take time before everything would return the way things were before. He declined the offer to go to Molly's with the team and promised them that he'd be there the next time. He just wanted to get home.

He walked tiredly to his door, ready to just crash. He wasn't sure if Erin was home yet, not knowing her exact flight time. He missed her and just wanted her by his side. But he couldn't always get what he wanted.

He inserted his key in the lock and frowned when it didn't work. He tried it again but still, it didn't work. He inspected his keys closer, looking at all the usual ones that were on his keychain. There was his condo key, the spare key to Will's place in case of emergency, the one to the storage locker room where he kept his dad's things, one to Voight's office that his Sergeant trusted him with. Then there was a new addition. One that looked exactly as the one to his condo. Could it be?

He walked over to Erin's door and inserted the one he used earlier and turned. His heart stilled when it unlocked Erin's condo. She had given him the keys to her place, she had just casually put it on his keychain. He smiled when he walked into her place and saw the lights were on. Erin was home.

He made his way to her bedroom and found her sleeping in bed. Instantly, he felt a thousand times better. He took off his jean and carefully slipped in behind her, wrapping his arms around her.

She shifted, feeling his presence. "You're here," she whispered, her voice filled with sleep.

"You're back," he returned, pulling her closer. She just hummed, wrapping her own arms around him. "I've missed you."

"Me too." She sighed.

"So I found your gift," he said, smiling into her hair. "Anything you want to tell me?"

She just grunted, shuffling closer in his arms. "Hmm, it's more of a gift for me. So you can just come in and surprise me like this. I sleep better with you."

His grin grew wider and he pulled her tighter, dropping a kiss on her forehead. "Me too."

He closed his eyes, ready to let himself drift off to a much needed sleep.

"Jay," her soft voice called out. "I love you too."

He smiled wider, clutching her closer to him. It was amazing how those three words could feel so different depending on who they came from. When Hailey said those words to him earlier, he felt weighed down and stifled. It burdened him, knowing that he wasn't able to return those feelings back. But as Erin confessed those same words to him, he felt himself floating in air, feeling lighter and happier than ever. She loved him and he loved her. It was so simple yet felt so amazing.

"I love you," he said, as he just held her through the night.