Ginny hadn't been to a healer yet.
It had been a few weeks since Hannah had cast the spell on her abdomen, and Hannah had urged her to seek out a healer as soon as possible. She just couldn't bring herself to acknowledge her reality, even as her cravings for different foods changed and the headaches increased. She hadn't been able to keep many of her meals down, and her coach was getting worried at the dark circles under her eyes.
"Weasley, let's talk after practice," Coach Blottingham demanded after Ginny had missed her tenth shot in the last hour and fumbled the quaffle thrice. "Everyone, let's take a water break for now."
Ginny's two co-chasers, Valmai and Trisca, flew over towards her as Ginny landed on the field. Ginny pulled off her helmet, letting it thud on the ground without much care as she trudged to the equipment tent. Valmai hovered near Ginny's left, while Trisca landed on her right. "All right there Ginny?" Trisca asked, worry coloring her voice.
"Obviously she's not," Valmai snorted. "She's never been this off with her throws before."
"I'm just tired guys; haven't been getting much sleep," Ginny smiled halfheartedly, trying to wave them off.
"I've seen you sleep deprived before, and this is different," Valmai stated, hopping off her broom to walk alongside Ginny. "You can handle a quaffle even on two hours of sleep. You can't just tell me you're tired."
"Blottingham is out for blood," Trisca noted, glancing at their coach who was glaring daggers at Ginny's back. "I don't know that you're going to survive the tongue lashing that awaits you post-practice."
"So the obvious thing here is that no, Ginny, you're not okay. Your playing screams it. So what gives-what's happening?" Valmai asked.
Ginny tensed. "I… I don't know." That's a lie, she thought internally. She knew exactly what was wrong, but to say it was to make it real.
"Are you sick? My mum said that when she had dragon pox, it started off really funny. Mostly a lot of fatigue, trouble concentrating, pretty nonspecific stuff," Trisca said.
"Merlin if you've got dragon pox, stay the heck away from me!" Valmai exclaimed, immediately distancing herself.
"I don't have dragon pox," Ginny laughed, though the thought of seeing a healer sobered her instantly. "But you're probably right. I'm due for a health checkup."
"Any pain anywhere?" Valmai inquired, drifting closer.
"Headaches mostly," Ginny said. That was a safe, nonspecific thing to say.
"Maybe you got hit in the head with a bludger at some point during a pick-up game?" Trisca suggested.
"I don't think so," Ginny shook her head.
"What if you lost your memory of it?" Trisca asked.
Valmai tsked. "She'd probably have a massive bruise that hurts when she presses on it. I'm sure she would have noticed it by now."
"Guys, I'm pretty sure my body is overall in decent shape. I should go for a check-up, but I don't think there's anything physically wrong with me. Besides the tiredness," Ginny said.
Valmai and Trisca looked at each other meaningfully, and Ginny caught them. "What?" Ginny asked.
"Well, if it's not a physical thing…" Trisca trailed off.
"What do you mean?" Ginny asked.
"What Trisca is too nice to ask is: are you emotionally not okay now that Potter's dating Bell?" said Valmai.
Ginny halted in her tracks. "Wait, what?"
Trisca bit her lip. "Ooh, I wasn't sure if she knew yet, Valmai! That's why I didn't want to say it!"
"Fuck, sorry Weasley," Valmai apologized. "I thought you would have heard the rumors last week and have seen the papers from the last couple of days. I mean, I know the gossip column a load of garbage oftentimes, but I didn't think they could fake a makeout session photo-"
"Not. Helping." Trisca hissed.
"Huh, so he's moved on already," Ginny said, crossing the remaining space to her equipment bag and pulled out her water bottle. "I won't lie, I'm surprised."
"It is a bit fast," Trisca noted.
"No faster than me," Ginny pointed out. "The rebound with Michael was rather large.
"She's probably just a fling," Trisca tried to comfort her. "I mean, all those years when you guys were together, there's going to be a rebound. A big one at that."
"Katie could be good for him," Ginny shrugged. "She's a good person." Ginny took a swig from her water bottle. "A lot more private. Harry would probably like that."
"Yeah, so private that a convenient makeout photo ended up in the gossip rags," Valmai muttered.
"I'm sorry you had to find out from us," Trisca said nervously. "I wish we had delivered the news a little better."
"It doesn't change the facts, Trisca," Valmai said. "It's better she knows from us than a reporter from Witch Weekly."
"True," Ginny acknowledged. "I am grateful that you guys saved me from being brutally blindsided. That would have made for an awful headline."
"I don't know how you do it," Trisca groaned. "It's already enough when I have reporters taking photos of me and writing about my techniques on the field, much less having a hyper-magnified look on my love life."
"That's why you've got to marry before you become famous," Valmai said. "My wife solves all of those problems."
"Not all of us are as lucky as you to find our soulmates before signing our contracts," Trisca grumbled.
"I fed into it a bit," Ginny sighed as she promptly laid down on the ground in the grass. "It's more my fault that we were in the public eye so much. The athletic career didn't help, and plus it was good money when the goblin jewelers would send me necklaces or bracelets to wear on our outings. It bought me a lot of my quidditch equipment."
"Well I can't say that I think it was a bad decision," Trisca said. "Brooms listen to directions better than partners."
"Control freak," Valmai teased. "This is why you don't have a spouse yet."
The three chasers chortled for a little bit. "So," Trisca began. "If it's not about Harry and Katie, is there something else that's affecting you?"
Ginny sat up and looked at her two teammates, debating how much she could trust them. "It's… really complicated." Ginny looked down at her hands, noticing some of the chipped red nail polish that was a remnant from a date with Michael several weeks ago. "I want to tell you, but it would make it real. And I know I can't keep avoiding it, but it's a sticky situation that involves more people than just me."
Valmai crouched down so she was eye level with Ginny. "We're here when you need us. Take your time."
"We're just worried about you," Trisca said. "But whenever you're comfortable and need someone to lean on, we'll be here."
"Metaphorically," Valmai deadpanned. "Don't actually lean on me-I'm not good at weight training."
Ginny chuckled, spirits a little higher. "Are you calling me a fat cow, Valmai?" Ginny joked.
"Hey, your words, not mine," Valmai raised her hands in surrender.
Ginny smiled. She had the most wonderful teammates.
A few hours, multiple drills, and several fumbles later, Ginny was practically falling off her broom. Coach Blottingham finally blew the final whistle, signalling the end of practice. Ginny swooped down from the rings towards the changing rooms when Blottingham's voice stopped her. Shite, Ginny thought. I forgot.
"Sorry Coach," Ginny called as she flew back to meet her boss. Ginny dropped down to face Coach Blottingham, a short and stocky woman who had a perpetual frown engraved on her face. "You wanted to see me?" Ginny asked.
"Let's wait for the rest of the team to go in," Coach Blottingham gestured to the remaining Harpies. Once the rest of the players were out of earshot, Coach Blottingham stared Ginny down. Ginny shifted her weight from one leg to another, feeling uncomfortable under Blottingham's blue-eyed hard stare.
"Been around any zipzapkles lately?" she asked.
Ginny furrowed her brow. "Zipzapkles?"
"I don't remember the exact official species name," Coach Blottingham said. "I didn't read Scamander's book super closely, but the colloquial term is zipzapkles. The magical animals that are fluorescent at night but also mess with your magical core if you get too close."
It sounded like something Luna would say with debatable existence. "Not that I am aware of myself," Ginny said slowly.
"Then when were you going to tell me about needing maternity leave?" Coach Blottingham demanded.
"What?" Ginny asked, shocked,
"Look, there's two things that can mess with your magical core the way it seems to be affecting you. Zipzapkles are one. Pregnancy is the other. I had the same trouble you've been having back when I had my firstborn; the second one was a little bit easier. So, when are you taking time off?"
"I wasn't planning on taking time off…" Ginny said awkwardly.
"You are not taking a bludger to the uterus when you are pregnant Weasley!" Blottingham fumed. "Do you know how bad that would be for the baby? It took me forever to conceive; I would never make you take that chance."
That little admission took Ginny aback. Trouble with conceiving? Perhaps Ginny's worldview was a little skewed; it seemed that Ginny's mom had never had any issues, so Ginny just assumed the biggest issue was preventing pregnancy, not the other way around.
"Well, I appreciate the concern," Ginny said. She thought briefly about denying that she was pregnant at all, but she couldn't bring herself to confirm or deny that reality. "I'll keep it in mind."
"What do you mean? When are you due?" Blottingham demanded.
"I don't know," Ginny said honestly. "I haven't made an appointment yet. This wasn't… this wasn't planned."
Blottingham's eyes widened and then narrowed. "I see." There was an awkward pause. "It's important you see a healer for your own health. Pregnancy changes your body permanently, and it's not always kind. It can be dangerous."
"You're right, of course," Ginny conceded, eyes dropping to her shoes. "I'll make sure to see a healer soon."
"All right, Weasley. I'll let you go. You need to take care of yourself all right?" Blottingham said.
"Sure, yes, of course," Ginny said, mounting her broom as she made to take off towards the changing rooms. "Please don't tell anyone."
"You have my word. As your coach, Weasley, I'd prefer you not have to take maternity leave," Blottingham said. "But as a mother, it's possible you won't be as lucky when you do plan for it. Just think about it."
Ginny gulped, feeling uncomfortable. "Thanks for the advice, I guess," Ginny said. Blottingham nodded, waving Ginny away.
Trisca and Valmai were the only ones left in the changing rooms when Ginny got there. "How was Blottingham?" Trisca asked Ginny.
"Fine, just concerned about me," Ginny said as she pulled off her practice jersey. She pulled open her locker and grabbed her wand, casting the usual scourgify on her equipment and sweaty clothes to clean them quickly.
"She didn't chew you out?" Valmai asked, looking surprised.
"I'm as surprised as you are," Ginny laughed half-heartedly, the topic of her conversation with Blottingham still weighing heavily on her.
"Lucky you are," Trisca laughed. "Valmai and I thought we would get drinks at the Salamander's Eye if you wanted to join us."
"Yeah that would be-" Ginny cut herself off, remembering suddenly that alcohol was off the table during pregnancy. "-er, great. But another time."
"Oh, okay," Trisca said, deflated.
"I'm just going to get home," Ginny said. "Thanks for checking in on me, you girls are the best."
"'Course," Valmai said. Ginny gave them a half wave before apparating back into Hermione's flat.
Ginny immediately headed to the shower, glancing at her reflection in the mirror. She placed a hand on her abdomen as she peeled off her clothes and stepped under the hot water. Was there really a life growing there? Was this her one chance to be a mother? Did she want to be a mother at all? How on Earth would she tell Harry? Should she tell Harry? As she washed away the day's sweat and dirt, she stared at the soapy bubbles that swirled around the drain. She didn't even know who she could talk to; her mother would likely proclaim that it was a sign from the universe to settle down with Harry and produce lots of babies. But was that the life Ginny wanted for herself? Would it be a good life for a theoretical child if she and Harry couldn't work out their differences?
She breathed deeply, letting the warm shower massage the ache and tenseness in her neck and upper back. Focus, she reminded herself. Coach Blottingham's words echoed in her mind. Pregnancy changes your body permanently, and it's not always kind. It can be dangerous.
Stepping out of the shower, Ginny resolved that she would indeed owl St. Mungo's for an appointment. After she had toweled off, she scribbled an appointment request that she sent off with Trixie, her small, tawny owl. As she watched Tawney fly off into the night, Ginny couldn't help but feel an impending sense of doom and anxiety.
Ginny huffed as she sat in the waiting room of the St. Mungo's Obstetrics and Gynaecologic department, tapping her foot impatiently as it had already been a forty-five minute delay since her appointment had been scheduled to start. She wished she could have gone to the private family healer that the Weasleys saw routinely, but she knew that Healer Gerlash was a little too open about the whole family's health whenever another member of the Weasley clan visited. Ginny had signed off on allowing the whole family access to her information years ago; a signature that she now regretted. She knew if she had just gone to Healer Gerlash, it would have opened up a line of inquiry from Molly Weasley that Ginny wasn't prepared to face yet.
"Ginevra Weasley," the healer's assistant called from the door. Finally, Ginny breathed.
The relief was short lived, as many of the other women in the waiting room who had been mostly minding their own business suddenly looked up and stared at Ginny. She swore under her breath as she stood up. In predictable fashion, she had totally forgotten about the need for anonymity; this was likely to end up in the papers tomorrow morning. This was one of the few times she wished Harry was more present in her life; he would have thought about this sort of thing. While Ginny mostly dismissed it as paranoia, in this case, he would have been right to keep this away from the public.
Ginny followed the healer assistant to one of the exam rooms. The assistant took her pulse, blood pressure, weight, temperature, and respiration rate. She waved her wand, casting a generic diagnostic spell on Ginny to catch any systemic issues. It came up negative, thankfully.
"Healer MacSharry will be in shortly," the assistant said. "If you could change into this gown, that would be a good help."
"Great, thank you," Ginny said. The assistant bustled out of the room. She changed into the hospital gown and waited, thinking to herself that someone really ought to embed a warming charm in the cloth; it was frighteningly cold.
Eventually, there was a knock at the door. "Come in," Ginny called.
The healer who entered was very different from what Ginny was used to. The Weasley family healer, Healer Gerlash, was a portly, sturdy woman with a kind face and empathetic eyes. When Healer Gerlash entered the examination room, it felt warmer as if a blanket had settled over the air. Ginny always felt with Healer Gerlash that she had come to the right place; that things would be figured out and that she'd be sent right along her way.
With Healer MacSharry though, there was an instant coldness. Ginny shifted nervously, unprepared for the shock of the thin woman clad in bleach-white robes. Everything felt incredibly clinical.
"My name is Healer MacSharry, and what's your name?" the reed-like woman asked.
"I'm Ginevra Weasley," Ginny said.
"And how old are you?" Healer MacSharry asked, glancing at the file in her hands that presumably carried Ginny's medical records.
"Just turned twenty-three not too long ago," Ginny answered.
"And who is your GH?"
"Healer Gerlash."
"What brings you in today?" Healer MacSharry asked.
"Well... I'm pregnant," Ginny choked on the words. "And I haven't been in to check up on my health or the… fetus's. So I figured it was time."
Healer MacSharry pulled out her wand from the sleeve of her robes. "Examinitas gravidius," she cast. At the soft green light produced, Healer MacSharry pulled a Quick-Quotes Quill from her pocket and had it begin recording the interview.
"Um, is that a Quick-Quotes Quill?" Ginny asked worriedly.
"Same company, accurate rather than sensational though," Healer MacSharry answered shortly. "Obviously for legal purposes, we would not record false or exaggerated information.
"Oh, that's good," Ginny said lamely.
"What was the date of your last period?"
"It's hard to say… probably eight weeks or nine? Is there a spell you can do to check on how old the fetus is?" Ginny asked.
"No one has developed a spell for that specific purpose as we typically limit the amount of magic we perform on the fetus. It can interfere with the magical core development of the child. It is very muggle to estimate the age based on your last menstrual cycle, but it is better to avoid as much magic in the first trimester given how critical of a development period it is," Healer MacSharry informed.
"Oh. So how do you assess whether the fetus is healthy?" Ginny asked.
"Well, since you're likely to be at the eight or nine weeks period, we have a few options. Witches who prefer the most traditional healing will have some blood sampled, and once the properties of your blood have been dissected via some diagnostic potions, we will know how your body is doing and if it appears healthy. There are some arithmancy calculations that can be done to approximate how the fetus is progressing, but it is a very general estimate," Healer MacSharry informed. "Alternatively, a slightly riskier assessment would include sampling some of the fluid in your uterus. This would also be analyzed by diagnostic potions, and these arithmancy calculations would give us a much better idea of how your fetus is progressing. Although we don't believe the magical core is traceable at this stage, by the second trimester we will be able to tell if your baby is likely to be a squib or has other abnormal developments. You can then make a decision about whether to continue with the pregnancy.
"The third option is to use a visualization spell, which is, in my opinion, much riskier than the previous two mentioned. It is new muggle-inspired magic, which has not been tested much," Healer MacSharry said with derision. "Cutting edge out of our research department, but with its risks."
"Why is it risky? If you're just getting a picture of the fetus, I would think that would be less risky than siphoning off my uterine fluid," Ginny said.
"The way it creates the image is strange. The magic must map out the shape of the fetus, which involves the magic coming into direct contact with your child in order to outline the shape and then project a duplicate image. As I mentioned, any magic during the first trimester beyond a simple, low-energy spell like the pregnancy diagnostic spell can be dangerous for interfering with your baby's magical core. The risk of having a squib becomes four times likelier."
"Well… I'm not sure I even want to continue… the pregnancy," Ginny mentioned. Healer MacSharry looked at her sharply.
"Oh?"
Ginny shuddered under the judgemental question. Healer Gerlash never made her feel this way.
"If you are concerned about having a squib, I have some news that may help. There's a new medication that may be approved in Britain soon. It is possible it will be approved in time for your child, as it must be administered within the first year of birth," Healer MacSharry said. "It is in high demand however, so it can be expensive. I can contact the donation office if you are interested."
"I didn't realize they had treatments for that," Ginny mused. "That's fabulous news."
"The squib community is rather put out," Healer MacSharry noted. "They feel that if it were approved, it would mean the death of their community. I'm not sure how much of a community they've ever really had."
Ginny couldn't help but feel that was a harsh statement. Sure, Ginny hadn't encountered many squibs besides Argus Filch, but there were probably other, less-grumpy squibs out there who found solidarity in each other. Comments like Healer MacSharry's probably made squibs grumpy anyways-Ginny would have flown off the handle if such a comment had been said about gingers!
"Well anyways, I'm not so worried about the squib or not-squib issue. I just am not sure that I want to have a kid right now. I'm not really financially or socially in a place that's right for one right now. What are my options? How hard would it be for me to get pregnant later when I'm ready?" Ginny asked.
Healer MacSharry narrowed her eyes. "Well, you could always terminate the pregnancy. There is a potion that you take; the process can be somewhat painful and you will experience some bleeding, but it is something we encourage you to decide on before the end of the first trimester. The magical core of the baby can interfere with the potion and make the process more difficult in the second and definitely in the third trimester.
As far as getting pregnant later… this is something we know declines with age. You are most likely in your most fertile years now-should you wait ten years, your fertility will decline drastically. There is a reason why many witches and wizards have children young; a healthy, magical child is most likely conceived before the witch is older than thirty. As much as we can do arithmancy calculations to guess at how fertile you will be in x amount of years, it is no guarantee."
"Oh," Ginny said, overwhelmed with information. "Will taking the pregnancy termination potion affect my fertility in the future?"
"It has not been shown to have any significant effect on your fertility, no," Healer MacSharry said. "But if you are worried about ever having a child, you have a pregnancy right now. And we can help the child be magical even if the magical core does not develop well."
"I see," Ginny said, feeling pressured. Perhaps she should have gone to see Healer Gerlash. "Well, I suppose we should start first with the blood sampling. I would like my health assessed, and I will have to think a little more about whether to continue the pregnancy."
Healer MacSharry looked mildly disappointed. "All right, hold still as I scourgify your arm."
As Healer MacSharry pulled out some glass vials to collect Ginny's blood, her mind was swimming with the new information. Ginny supposed there was no dancing around it any longer. She would have to tell Harry.
AN: I'm back! And it hasn't been a full year! I've decided to partake in NaNoWriMo as much as possible this month to get as far as possible as I can with this fic and get you guys some updates. Hope you all have been hanging in there with the craziness of this past week. Any thoughts on the newest Ginny chapter? I know some people found her annoying, and I may go back to edit her character to be a little bit more understood even in the context of her mood swings that were the hint to her pregnancy. But what do you think of this new situation? This chapter also has some interesting hints-anyone catch them?
Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay strong. We'll get through 2020 together. Drop a review to let me know how you're doing even if you don't feel like responding to my questions!