I Pick You First
Disclaimer: I don't own The 100.
Takes place during 7x06
Of all the obstacles that Clarke Griffin had dealt with in the past, she did not expect that she'd find herself inside a giant monster. She was the Commander of Death. She had survived multiple wars and two apcoalypses and she was fucking burned alive and even died once! Getting swallowed by giant monster was definitely how she pictured her death. All of them were separated (what else is new!) except for her and Raven. Both were looking around where they were inside the creature with their flashlights. She stopped when she heard Raven mutter,
"We're not gonna make it".
"Don't say that. The others will find a way". Clarke argued.
Raven chuckled bitterly, "How do you do it? Stay so damn strong all the time. No matter what happens, Clarke Griffin doesn't break".
Clarke mentally chuckled at Raven's misguided notion and said, "That's not true".
Raven fought the tears coming from her eyes and said, "I killed 4 people in the nuclear reactor and 8 more for good measure. I just feel like... like my soul's cracked open. Maybe it's karma for all the people we've killed".
Clarke sighed deeply. She knew where Raven was coming from. Of course Raven was still punishing herself for making the same damn call that she would've made.
"Yet when I made choices like this to save them, They looked at me like I'm evil". Clarke shoved the thought in the back of her head. Raven needed her help.
"Hey, the people we've killed... we have killed to save the people we love". Clarke turned around attempted to reason with Raven.
"They loved people too Clarke". Raven argued.
Clarke argued back, "If you didn't make this decision then all of us would've been dead. Victory stands on the back of Sacrifice Raven". She had mentally smiled at that same lesson that her soulmate had taught her.
Raven snapped, "We're not at war Clarke"!
Clarke chuckled darkly and said softly, " I think we are Raven. The worst part is we're up against the worst kind of enemy. An enemy I have looked in the eye for a very long time. We call it Death".
Raven finally let the tears fall. Clarke had decided to be truthful with her,
"Believe it or not, I know how you feel". Raven looked at her and Clarke continued, "I know it all too well. It's like you are betraying everything that you are. You don't feel like you're human. You feel like a monster because you don't feel like you deserve forgiveness for what you've done". Raven nodded her head in despair, realizing that she was correct.
Clarke continued, "I'm Wanheda. I'm the girl that destroyed an entire civilization because I knew it was the only option I had to save my people. I won't say that this will fade. You will never forget their faces. They'll stay with you but in time, I believe that you will understand and accept that your decision saved your people". More tears fell off of Raven but she nodded her head in understanding.
Clarke hated talking about this now but she needed to get this off of her chest, "You're wrong about me by the way".
Raven asked her confusingly, "What do you mean"?
Clarke stared back in defiance and answered, "When you said that I pretend to feel bad about what I've done, about both my sacrifices and my mistakes".
Raven's head then snapped in horror, remembering what she said to Clarke on Sanctum, "Clarke, I didn't mean that
"The people I've killed and the people I've let down are always with me"! Clarke interrupted.
Raven cried even harder as she finally saw the real pain behind Clarke's eyes,
"I am so sorry Clarke. I'm sorry for not seeing how much you were suffering and for how I treated you". Raven said.
Clarke nodded and she softly touched Raven's shoulder and replied, "I really am sorry for what I did at the Gorge and Shaw. I'm also sorry that I couldn't take this burden from you".
Raven chuckled bitterly and thought, "Damn it Griffin! How much are you going to make me cry".
Raven finally said back, "I was so angry at you for what you did but I get it now. It was the wrong decision but I get why you were trying to protect Madi. She's your kid and besides, I kind of deserved it for trying to kidnap her while you were asleep. That was definitely wrong". Clarke muttered a thank you in return.
Raven continued, "As for the nuclear reactor, you couldn't have done anything. You were too busy dealing with a bunch of whiners that can't seem to hold themselves together without a Commander". Clarke chuckled at her view of Wonkru.
Raven and Clarke hugged each other tight like they were the sisters they should've been from the start.
"I forgive you Princess. Please know that I'd pick you first too". Clarke chuckled with tears in her eyes at the nickname as they held on tight with each other.
"You're forgiven too Reyes and thank you". Clarke muttered.
The two separated and Clarke said, "I haven't heard that nickname in a long time. I thought that part of me burned along with Praimfaya".
Raven smirked and said jokingly, "Nah, you're still a little bossy". Clarke laughed.
Everything started moving again, making the two stumbled a bit. Miller, Niylah and Jordan arrived, showing they were shooting at the beast.
"Seriously! We've walking around like dummies when all we had to was shoot the damn thing"! Raven said in frustration.
"Apparently". Miller retorted.
"Raven look". Clarke shined her light at the what they were looking for.
"Finally"! Raven beamed at the Anomaly Stone.
"Alright guys, lets move before this thing traps us again"! Clarke ordered everyone.
Everyone nodded and started running towards their escape.
Authors Notes: Hope you guys like this. I'm not really a fan of Season 7 but I loved that Clarke and Raven finally talked and that Raven finally understands what Clarke goes through. My main complaint was that I believed it should've been longer. As you can see, I was not a big fan of Raven's character writing in Season 6 and the later parts of Season 5. Anyways, let me know what you think in your reviews. Thank you for reading.