Scott has been on guard duty all night and is so grateful that he has a bed to collapse into when he gets back to the barracks. Okay so it is not the most comfortable bed in the world, and it is in a room he has to share with 12 other members of the United States Air Force, but it is his and right now it is the most precious possession he owns. Grateful that he doesn't have to be back on duty until 1900 hours, Scott has a quick shower before falling into a deep untroubled sleep.

His alarm set for 16:30, and no intentions of getting up before then Scott is furious when the ringing from his phone wakes him just after 13:00. 13:07 to be precise, the year he has spent in the air force has left him used to making every second count.

Groaning as he reaches for the phone which he has left on the nightstand next to his bed, Scott finds himself automatically jumping out of bed and subconsciously standing stiffly as he swipes to answer his phone.

"Good afternoon Father, I wasn't expecting to hear from you" Scott says into the phone, even as the words are out of his mouth he regrets them, he should always expect a surprise call from his father checking up on him, that was part of their deal.

"This isn't a call to check on you" Jeff tells him much to Scott's surprise. "I am calling to tell you that Alan has been injured in a fire started by Gordon"

Scott is horrified, sure Gordon has always been trouble, but arson? "I'm sorry what?!"

"Gordon was setting off fireworks and set the barn alight, Alan was trying to help put it out and fell from a ladder. He has a broken leg and third degree burns to his upper body" Jeff tells him, filling in some more of the details.

"Is Gordon okay?" Scott has to know, if he is the one responsible for Alan getting hurt he will be beating himself up far worse than anything Jeff can do.

Jeffs reply is a low guttural growl "He is gone, that's all you need to know" Scott doesn't realise but he is the third person to ask about Gordon, Jeff was expecting them to be equally furious and to back up his decision to exile his 4th child.

"GONE?!" Scott shouts horrified. Gone could mean just about anything, and visions of Jeff having murdered him and thrown his body on the fire leave him paralysed in fear.

"Yes gone, I have had enough of it and I am not putting up with it anymore. I should have done this years ago" Jeff tells him.

"So he's alive?" Scott has to ask; he has to know.

"Of course he's alive you idiot. What did you think I meant? I had killed him and buried him in the yard?" Jeff replies incredulously.

"Well, have you?" Scott asks.

"No I have not, I told him to be gone by the time I get home and if he isn't then maybe he will be!" Jeff replies.

"Father?" Scott is shocked, he has spent his entire life looking up to this man, turning a blind eye when he has mercilessly beaten his brothers, and unable to escape punishment himself, but this is beyond anything he can comprehend.

"No Scott, I am serious this time, Gordon is no longer allowed to be a part of this family and I will never see him or speak to him again" Jeff tells him.

Scott isn't stupid and he knows when to admit defeat. "I have leave at the end of the month, if you need me to come home for a few days"

"Sure, but you are not to speak to Alan as he is going to be confined to his room indefinitely until he learns his lesson, and if he never does he will spend the rest of his life in there" Jeff tells him.

"And Scott?" Jeff adds.

"Yes father?"

"Don't you dare do anything stupid, you know why you were made to join the air force after you graduated, and I had to pay a small fortune to keep you from going to prison and to keep the shame of what you did and what you are out of the papers. Do. Not. Let. Me. Down."

And with that his father is gone, he's actually hung up on him.

Scott has never been more tempted to go back to his old mechanism for coping with the train wreck that is his life. Starting when he was just 14 and had been caught cheating on a test. He wasn't the one cheating, Scott has always been clever enough to get the straight A's his father expected of him, but his football teammates weren't. Scott was caught supplying them the answers.

He found comfort in the most surprising of places, a friend to help numb the pain from the paddle, and even worse the news that he was going to be expelled from the school football team.

The dread in the deep pit of his stomach when he took the disciplinary note home, one confirming the disgrace that he was never to play on any of the schools teams again, having his backside paddled, and three weeks of Saturday detention.

He could cope with all of it, if only there was someone at home that didn't judge him, like his mother was clearly doing as she read the letter before ordering him straight to bed without supper.

Or someone who didn't show his love with a thick leather belt, like his father.

Or even someone who didn't tease him mercilessly for getting spanked at school, like Gordon and Alan, even though neither of them are strangers to getting similar treatment, both at school and at home. Even at ages 6 and 7, at least their father doesn't use a belt on them at this age, preferring a bruising hairbrush spanking delivered to their bare backsides instead.

He can talk to Virgil, but he is away on a school trip and John lives with his head in the clouds and wouldn't know what to say.

But no, it is up to Scott to find his own method for coping with the pain, and he has.

Vodka.

Pilfered from his father's secret stash, he finds himself drinking more and more. First it was just a few shots, quickly knocked back to numb the pain, he became an expert at hiding his drinking. Choosing to carry on even after his father promised the school a new library to reinstate Scott to the football team.

He kept his vodka stash in old water bottles, taking advantage of their both being clear liquids and easier to hide. By the time he is 17, he is so dependant on alcohol, that he can't get through a day without it.

He doesn't even stop when his father, enraged with Gordons latest prank, and lack of remorse throws the terrified 10-year-old against a wall before kicking him so hard he leaves him fighting for his life. Scott was amazed that Gordon managed a full week before the pain and the infection became so unbearable that he was found unconscious in the bathroom by Virgil unable to breathe.

He became a master of hiding his alcohol consumption, even after he graduated from high school and started his business degree at Yale which included a year abroad in Oxford. Jeff has been grooming Scott with the intentions of letting him work for Tracy Industries and eventually take over the company so that he can retire.

Scott's own dreams and ambitions have always been secondary to those of his fathers, he only ever wanted to be happy and to live a life where he is wanted and loved, instead he has spent his life being unable to protect those he cares the most about from the one man who was supposed to protect them.

Scott's shameful secret was exposed to his father the night of his college graduation when he went on a celebratory pub crawl with his fellow graduates and wrapped the brand-new Porsche – a graduation gift from his parents – around a tree. He suffered a fractured collarbone, several cracked ribs and a fractured arm.

Scott is relieved when the secret is exposed, and he finds himself telling his father everything, admitting that he started drinking after the cheating scandal, and that he hadn't been fully sober for 24 hours in a row since. 8 years he has managed to hide behind a façade of normality.

Jeff once again pays for the case against Scott to be dropped in exchange for him to go into a rehabilitation facility. Telling his brothers that he is taking a vacation and travelling through Europe as a gift for graduating college, Jeff can not stand the shame of having an alcoholic child.

On the eve of his release, he is joined by Jeff. Scott has been kept at the facility for nearly 2 months. Jeff is the one who gives Scott his orders to report to the Air Force base, and that as his father he is enrolling him in the military to ensure his continued discipline and obedience. This is Scott's final chance; he messes this up and he is on his own. He will be tested for drugs and alcohol every week and there is a zero-tolerance policy for both.

Used to following orders and the strictest of discipline, Scott excels in the Air Force. Even though every minute of his life is now strictly regulated, he has never felt freer.

Until right now, right now all he can think about Gordon. He knows that Alan will be fine, but Gordon being cast out hurts his heart. All thoughts of further sleep are driven from his brain, he needs to talk to Gordon.

Bringing up his brothers' number on his phone, Scott dials Gordons number, expecting it to go to voicemail, he is surprised when he answers.

"Hi Scott" His voice sounds exhausted.

"Gordon, what happened?" Scott asks, getting straight to the point.

"Well dad lost his temper and demanded I leave home and get a job as apparently I have no ambition. Alan wanted one last fun memory of his favourite, funniest, best looking brother…"

"But I wasn't around, get to the point!" Scott tells him.

"I had some fireworks and decided to do him a display, Jefferson distracted me and one of them launched at an angle and flew into the barn, which caught fire. Guessing you have spoken to Jefferson?" Gordon asks.

"I have, and the way he tells it is you set the barn on fire for a laugh. Why do you keep calling him Jefferson?"

"Because that is his name, and it is more personal than calling him Mr Tracy and more polite than calling him Psycho-Dictator, both of which are acceptable." Gordon tells him. "I can't call him father as he has made it clear that he doesn't want to be my father anymore"

"Look Gordy, just give him a few days to calm down. He loves you Gordon" Scott insists. "If you want somewhere to stay, I have an apartment you can borrow."

"It's okay Scotty, I have a plan. but I can't tell you what I am doing or even where I am going, and it isn't because I don't trust you because I do, but I don't want to put you in the position of having to hide anything from Jefferson." Gordon tells him.

"Okay Gordy, but never delete my number and if you ever need anything you know where I am." Scott tells him, fighting back tears and the urge to go straight to the nearest bar.

"I will, thank you for everything Scott. I love you" Gordon tells him, his voice is cracking with emotion.

"I love you too Gordy" Scott tells him hanging up the phone.

Hugging the phone to his chest, memories of his younger brother are flooding his brain.

The good and the bad.

The bad. The day Gordon was born, not being able to visit his new baby brother in the hospital for the first 5 weeks of his life. The good. The miraculous day he was allowed to come home.

The bad. Falling out of the treehouse when he was only 6 years old and breaking his wrist so badly it needed pinning back together. The good. His brave smile when he woke up from the operation and told him off for worrying so much.

The bad. Being teased mercilessly by him every single time he found himself in trouble, at school or home. The good. Sneaking into his room every time he got a paddling at school, or a whipping from his dad to make sure that he was okay. A tradition he taught Alan to respect. Tease your big brothers but love them unconditionally, and always be there for them.

There are a million other examples he can mention of the pure hearted little brother he has loved for 17 years, and will keep on loving, no matter what his father says.

And it is keeping his brothers safe that causes Scott to go back to bed and not to the nearest off licence.