"Allie?" Lucy calls quietly, opening the door to his hospital room. Finding him sitting up leafing through a magazine, looking bored out of his brain.
It has been a week since he regained consciousness and the copious amounts of soothing cream being rubbed into his arms helps ease the pain and if they would just give him crutches he would be more than happy to walk out of here.
"His name is Alan" a voice from behind her growls.
"Oh great. Dads here" Alan thinks. "Hi mom, hi dad" is how he actually greets them. Trying to sound happy to see them both.
"Oh good you are awake, get up we are going home" Jeff tells him, not bothering with a greeting, "and you are going back to school tomorrow. The doctor said you should stay home and rest for a few days, but you are not going to get away with lying about the house idly"
"How am I going to get there? I can't drive with a broken leg?" Alan asks. He would rather be at school than home all day.
"You can either get a bus or walk, I am not available to give you a lift and you are not to bother your mother. If I find out you are trying to guilt her into a ride, I will give you a whipping" Jeff warns.
"Bus it is!" Alan tells him trying to keep the mood light, knowing he can get his mates to give him rides until he is back on his feet.
Climbing up out of the bed, Alan follows his parents out of the room, hobbling on his crutches and into the back of his father's car. The journey exhausts him and he is asleep when his father pulls into the driveway.
"Get up to your room Alan, you are grounded until you graduate from college and if you think that just because your brother ran away to god knows where doesn't mean you can" Jeff tells him, hauling him from the car and roughly pushing him into the house.
Alan vows to obey his father, he has lost Gordon and he will do anything to keep hold of Scott, Virgil, and John. Besides, he knows from his own experiences that his father was serious with his threats.
*TB*
The youngest of 5 boys Alan learned from an early age to fight for attention. His brothers made it their own personal missions to look out for him, even Gordon who is only 13 months older than he is and was born with a serious heart condition which required surgery. Gordon loved to entertain Alan, no matter how often it got them both into trouble.
There was the time they set the sprinklers in the yard to go off during a family party, the time they put superglue on the hat his dad wore to work – which he had to get shaved off, both of those got them a spanking with the brush. They never learnt, and Jeff never figured out that they were crying out for attention and if the only attention they got was while they were getting spanked then they would take it.
No one knows that Gordon didn't fall out of the tree house. They had been arguing, Alan wanted to go to a party during the afternoon which he hadn't been invited too as it was for a boy in Gordons grade.
He never meant to, but Gordon called him a stupid baby and said he only ever played with him when there was no one else around. He lashed out in anger, just like his father always did. He never expected Gordon to slip and fall, the gut wrenching scream of his big brother as he hit the ground, his painful cries, the panic from his parents, the siren from the ambulance even now make appearances in his nightmares.
They never discussed it, an unspoken agreement between the 2 boys was never to mention it out loud for fears of what Jeff would do to Alan if he found out, but the incident bought them even closer together. Sure they still fought but they always ensured it never went that far again.
For the first 5 years of Alans life he never knew there was another reason for owning a brush other than for spanking. His brothers only ever ran a comb through their hair before calling themselves presentable and Gordon didn't even bother with that!
Alan has never felt any love either from his father or for his father, he has only ever felt fear. His father was the ultimate in control freaks, but he rarely lost control. This man always knew what he was doing when he was giving him or his brothers a whipping. He was cold and calculated.
Alan will never forget how he felt when he did lose control. He was in his room doing his homework when he was called by his mom to come down for dinner. Halfway through a difficult long division question he stayed to finish it, and his mom sent Virgil to get him and Gordon who had also ignored the call.
He heard Virgil calling for help, even though he was only 9 years old he recognised terror when he heard it. Running out into the hallway he was flung out of the way by Scott who ran into the bathroom, and the cries of "he isn't breathing" before his brother was taken away by an ambulance for the second time.
Alan isn't stupid, he knows the only reason he went to summer camp was because his father felt bad about what he did to Gordon. Alan loved summer camp. 8 weeks away from his parents, swimming, horse riding, playing tennis, kayaking and there was even a miniature golf course. It was easily the best summer of his life.
From the moment he knew what racing was, Alan was obsessed and would insist on getting up at all hours of the day and night to watch. Didn't matter if it had 2 wheels or 4 or even 18 if it had an engine and it was raced around a track Alan would spend hours watching. His dad knew this, and would ban him from watching whenever he was being punished, just like Gordon was banned from the pool, or John was banned from the library, or Scott was banned from football practise, or Virgil was banned from art class.
All Alan ever wanted to be was a racing driver, and Gordon would sneak him to the races to compete, lying and claiming that they were staying over at friends houses so he could go karting. Alan kept his trophies stored in a box hidden in the attic far away from his father's prying eyes.
Racing was his first passion, astronomy and space travel was his second. And the only class he ever got straight A's in, choosing what his father referred to as "the Gordon route" and not study, preferring to get into trouble, crying out for attention and this was the only way he knew how to get it.
Alan would never admit that this was the reason for the chemistry lab explosion, and he insists that it was an accident. He would never blow a building up on purpose! Alan was paddled by the principal who also sent the bill to his father for the rebuild. Getting home with the note detailing the crime Alan was shaking when he gave it to his mom, who just looked at him with deeply disappointed eyes and banished him to his room where he was whipped and then grounded for a month and he vowed to never get into trouble again.
His resolve didn't last long, he had only been grounded for 2 weeks, and the marks on his back had already disappeared as did the immediate memory of the pain, when Gordon snuck him out to a party, and they both got caught sneaking back into the house at 3am drunk. They are grateful that their father was on a business trip and they were only caught by John who had snuck up onto the roof for some star gazing and saw them trying to climb up through Alans bedroom window. John kept their secret, promising them that their parents will never find out.
What Jeff Tracy didn't know about his children would fill several novels.
When his father wasn't around the house was a completely different place. Virgil would play the piano, they would be noise and laughter, all the things banned when their father was home. Their mom would even join Virgil on the piano, playing duets together while they all sat and listened.
Their mom never reported any of the wrongdoing they got up to when he wasn't home, and Alan would go to bed at night wishing that his father would never come home. But it never mattered how hard he prayed; his father always returned.
the night before Scott, Virgil and John left for college Alan would feel envious that they were getting out from their father's rules and he wasn't. Until the day Gordon left. He tried to talk to his parents to let him stay, but they won't as far as his father is concerned Gordon is no longer a Tracy, so he snuck into his room to say his final goodbye.
*TB*
Alan waits until his father has gone back to the office, having taken the morning off to stay home and yell at him and lay down the law the minute he got home from the hospital, before he struggles down the stairs and into the kitchen where his mom is making lunch. "Mom? Where is Gordy? I have tried calling him, but his number doesn't work anymore"
"What are you doing out of your room, you are grounded remember" She replies, evading the question.
"Mom please, where is Gordy?" Alan repeats.
"I don't know Allie, but I am asking you to please just do as you are told. Your father is angry and if he turns up now, I can't do anything to help you." She begs him.
"YOU NEVER CAN" Alan shouts back before stomping away and back upstairs.
Alan vows that he too is done with this family. Vowing to pull out of his college applications he is going to leave home right now, drop out of school and go and find Gordon.
He is still packing when his mom brings his lunch up for him, placing the sandwich on the side next to his bed, she grabs her youngest son up and into her arms, holding him while he sobs. Life in this house without Gordon will be unbearable.
"Allie, sweetheart I know that this isn't easy, but I am working on a plan to get us out of here I promise. Just stick it out a little longer, your father loves you and he only wants what is best for you" Lucy is begging him, trying not to lose her youngest son the way she has lost Gordon.
Alan agrees, one final chance. And over the next few months an uneasy truce forms between the two. None of Alan's brothers have Jeffs permission to attend his high school graduation in June, as it Is too close to Johns launch date up to the space station, Scott was refused leave after his father put a call into his commanding officer offering him thousands of dollars to deny Scott the time off needed to attend, and Virgil was busy sitting his final exams before his own graduation.
Jeff insists he spends the summer working for him in the office, and Alan finds out on the first day that means scrubbing toilets and mopping floors and if that's done he is allowed a 15 minute break before being made to sort out filing cabinets. Alan hates it and would love to tell his father where to shove his job. But he is being paid for the work and saving every cent into his escape fund, which is kept in the attic with his trophies.
Jeff pulls him out of college, claiming that he is still grounded and will only be allowed to attend online classes until Jeff is sure that he can trust him. Alan has not been allowed a date, was banned from all field trips and the prom, Jeff uses the excuse with the university he was accepted into that he is still recovering from the accident, even though he has been fully recovered for months, he is still his fathers prisoner.
He has thousands of dollars saved, some earned from working for Jeff and some from prize money from racing, but mostly it is stolen from the safe as he too knows the number, only he hasn't had to empty it all in one go, so Jeff has never gotten suspicious, as he has more money in the house at anyone time than anyone could be able to count.
He has long since given up asking about going to college, or even being allowed to go for a walk alone. After losing his control on Gordon, Jeff refuses to let go of the one child he is still able to beat into submission.
The autumn months pass through into winter and the weather turns cold sharply. Thanksgiving is a dull affair. A formal dinner with a turkey and his mom and dad both sit in silence throughout the meal, and Alan knows better than to speak spontaneously at the dinner table. Just another one of Jeff Tracy's rules.
Alan can only speak when spoken too.
Towards the end of the meal, a dessert of pumpkin pie being served to the grownups while Alan sits quietly watching as he is not allowed sweets, Jeff clears his throat and addressed his wife and youngest son directly for the first time all day.
"I have a business trip in Colorado next week, I am planning to combine it with the family holiday. Alan you will go upstairs directly after this conversation and pack. You don't need to pack your skis as you will be spending the vacation in your room while your mother and I relax and enjoy ourselves. We will be there for a week, take some books with you for something to do, as you can keep up with your college work. A holiday is not an excuse to fall behind and if I find out you are not studying…" Jeff trails off. But he doesn't need to carry on speaking, Alan knows exactly what will be in store for him if he disobeys.
"Yes father" is all Alan replies, his eyes downcast and a sure sign of the spirit which Jeff has successfully shattered.
"Good boy now go on upstairs and start packing. We leave on Sunday night"
Alan loves skiing, and the family home Jeff owns in Aspen has always been one of his favourite places in the world, and even if he isn't allowed out of his room there a change of scenery will be really good for him. The cold, snowy, crisp mountain air is exactly what he needs right now.
Smiling as he packs his suitcase, bringing a snow suit just in case his father feels extra generous and allows him some slope time, knowing he can always hire skis when he gets there, Alan drags the bags down to the Heli jet his father always uses for long trips.
"I am ready father" He tells him, tapping on his office door, and waiting for his father's permission for him to speak, only doing so after Jeff nods his approval.
"Good, but we are not leaving for 3 days" Jeff reminds him.
"I know, I just wanted to be prepared. Good night and thank you for a lovely evening" Alan tells him, keeping the conversation between the 2 short and to the point.
It is a lie and they both know it; this evening was far from lovely.
*TB*
The resort is already bustling with people when they arrive, and Jeff ushers Alan straight into the house, opening up his hand luggage to reveal the family belt and hanging it up where he will be able to see it, as a reminder for him to stick to Jeffs rules and do exactly as he is told, before Jeff leaves for his big meeting with some potential new investors.
Getting comfortable in the room he always shared with Gordon when they were here, Alan starts to unpack his suitcase before collapsing onto the bed with a book. He has no idea why his father has organised a meeting on a Sunday but if it buys him a few hours of peace and quiet then he will take whatever he can get.