Alan is bored, and just about ready to tell his father where to stick his punishment and walk out, just like Gordon did. He misses his big brother more and more every single day. Looking out of his bedroom window, he can see the snow-covered mountain, and his feet are itching to get out there. There are hundreds of people, of all ages enjoying the snow. Children just learning to walk laughing as they slide on the icy lake, wrapped up in the comfort of snow suits and the knowledge that loving parents are there to protect them.
Jealousy burns deeply in the pit of his stomach, as he forces himself away from the window, and back to the book he was reading. Alan hates his life.
*TB*
The meeting Jeff is in drags on for hours, and even Jeff is losing his patience with the people in the room, who insist on arguing every small point of the contract he is proposing, one that will bring in millions of dollars for his company while swallowing and bankrupting a dozen smaller companies so he will be able to control and liquidate their assets. He has no qualms about bankrupting innocent families, or the rumours that his business practices have driven good men to suicide after losing everything.
How many of the boys are here Jeff?" his secretary and note taker, Mrs Webber, asks during a lull in proceedings.
The woman is in her early sixties and has worked for Jeff for years, always seeing the charm he easily turns on to the public and has met all five boys numerous times over the years and has always been impressed with their politeness. They are well mannered young men.
"Just Alan, but he is staying at the house as he is still recovering" Jeff replies. Sounding like the kind and caring father he has the world believing he is.
"Oh, but surely a nice walk through the town would make him feel better? He can't possibly stay indoors all week in such a lovely spot" Mrs Webber replies. "Tell you what, I will treat him to a run down the ski trails and a hot chocolate, it will be just like old times" reminiscing about giving the boys their first ever ski lessons over the years.
Jeff knows that he has no choice, if he keeps Alan locked up all week then she is going to get suspicious. Vowing to keep him under control, Jeff mentally gives Alan an hour of freedom tomorrow morning. "Of course, that sounds like a wonderful idea" Jeff replies, smiling.
"Excellent, tell Alan to meet me outside tomorrow morning at ten thirty" Mrs Webber replies.
"Will do Mary" Jeff replies. Inside he is seething, but he knows that he has no choice in the matter.
The meeting is postponed for the evening shortly after, and Jeff makes his way back to the house, mumbling about the injustice of having to release Alan under his breath during the short walk. It is already dark, and there are stars for miles splattering the night sky above him, but he doesn't care. It has been an awfully long time since he has ever looked up.
Opening up the door, a smell of a roast chicken makes his mouth water in anticipation, this is why he has kept Lucy around all these years he thinks, yes, she has her faults, but she can cook. The table is already set, and the chicken is sitting in the middle just waiting to be carved.
"Welcome home Jeff, I hope the meeting went well" Lucy tells him. Her voice formal and stiff, as it has been since Gordon left nearly eleven months ago.
"Well enough. Where is the boy?" Jeff asks.
"Upstairs in his room, he knows better than to come out without your permission" Lucy reminds him.
"Good, go and fetch him" Jeff demands, taking his coat off and walking into the office.
Lucy knows better than to argue. Knocking on Alans door, and politely waiting for Alan to reply "Come in mom" before entering.
"How did you know it was me and not your father?" she asks.
"Simple, you knocked. Father never does that. He just barges in and starts making demands" Alan replies.
"He wants to see you in his office, get down there quickly and once your done come for dinner. And remember don't get him angry" Lucy tells him.
"Fine. But we both know I don't have to do a single thing to make Jefferson Tracy angry" Alan reminds her.
Lucy flinches at his words. "Never let him hear you call him Jefferson. He is still your father Alan"
Alan doesn't answer as he drags himself off the bed and down to the office and knocks on the door, his heart pounding despite the brave face he showed his mom.
"Enter" Jeff calls from the other side. "Ah yes Alan, tomorrow you are going out for an hour. Be ready for half ten, Mrs Webber has taken pity on you and has asked that you spend some time with her. God knows why she wants to spend time with a little runt like you, but there you go. You will go and you will be on your absolute best behaviour, I hear anything negative and it's a belting. You will be back here by midday or it's a belting."
Alan stopped listening after the words Mrs Webber. The only other adult apart from his mom that Alan has ever loved. This woman has put up with his father for years and was an integral part of his childhood. Even ninety minutes in her presence is enough time to him to escape the oppression in the house.
"Of course father, I will not let you down" Alan assures him.
"Don't" Jeff tells him, the threat in his voice is obvious and dire.
*TB*
Alan bounces out of bed at seven the following morning. Happier than he has been in a long time, finally he is free for nearly two hours. Turning the water for a shower up to an almost scalding temperature, as he likes it as hot as possible, Alan happily washes his hair and for the first time in months even adds conditioner and uses the shower gel to scrub his skin until it is clean and fresh.
Slipping his robe back on he is whistling as he walks back to his room to get dressed. Styling his hair while it is still damp and finishing with a quick blow dry and pulling on a clean pair of jeans, a t-shirt and hoodie. And he is ready.
Jeff lets him out of his room for breakfast, and even offers him a small compliment on his attire. Determined more than ever to have a good day, Alan accepts the words with a smile and is waiting outside for his "date" by a quarter past ten.
"Alan" Mrs Webber greets him happily, as he holds his arm out for her to take. "Always the gentleman" she tells him proudly, as they walk slowly away from the house and into the centre of the town.
They stop for coffee, and even though Alan has eaten he joins her in a croissant.
"Your dad tells me that you are taking college classes online while you recover. How is it going?" She asks, while adding copious amounts of sugar to her coffee.
"Great" Alan tells her enthusiastically, "I am hoping that father agrees to let me join the space programme like John did. I would love to go up to the space station" he knows it is a pipe dream, his father is never going to let him go.
They sit there for nearly an hour before Alan realises that he has to get back. This has been the best morning he has had in a long time and he never wants it to end.
The two take a slow relaxed walk back, until they get to the house.
The house is no longer there.
*TB*
*FLASHBACK*
Lucy watches Alan walk away, smiling to herself that her youngest baby has not allowed his father to destroy his spirit.
Jeff is sitting with the newspaper at the kitchen table, a cigar dangling between his lips. Lucy hates him smoking in the kitchen where food is prepared but she knows well enough not to mention it.
"Thank you for letting Alan out for a bit, he has been so good recently and he has earned this chance" Lucy tells him sincerely. If it was up to her he would be in college as planned.
"I had no choice in the matter" Jeff spits back, full of resentment at Alans temporary reprieve.
"You have to let him go Jeff, you can not seriously keep him locked up forever, he has learned his lesson." She insists.
"Alan is my child Lucy and I will make the decisions about his future and he is not ready to leave for college. If you hadn't spoiled those children rotten he may know how to be a well behaved, disciplined man by now but the damage you inflicted on them still needs to be undone" Jeff insists.
Realising that Jeff is never going to let Alan go, Lucy loses her temper, and for the first time in years finds herself arguing with her husband and sticking up for her children.
"Damage I have inflicted?! Are you actually fucking serious Jeff?! You nearly killed Gordon. He was a ten-year-old child, and you left him fighting for his life. I have sat back and let you destroy their spirits and I am done, no more Jeff. I am taking Alan and we are getting out of here. I will not let you be responsible for driving away another one of my children Jeff"
"Oh, so now we are back to Gordon" Jeff spits his name in disgust. Ten months and he hasn't even tried to look for his son and banned the four boys and their mom from mentioning his name under his roof.
"He is eighteen Jeff; he was too young to just go out into the world." Lucy insists, she too has no idea what has happened to her boy, she doesn't even know if he is still alive and it haunts her every minute, she is awake.
"Well he should have thought about that before he nearly killed Alan, or is It only me who you think is responsible for that too? He stole your jewels remember Lucy. The boy is a liar and a thief and if it didn't ruin my reputation, I would have had him arrested and thrown into jail" Jeffs voice is thick with hatred and disgust.
"You think for one minute I care about that? I want my boy back Jeff and I am taking Alan and I am getting a divorce. We are so done" Lucy insists.
"No. You just listen to me Lucile, I will not allow a divorce scandal to disrupt my business deals, I am in the middle of a hostile takeover…"
"Any takeover with you involved is bound to be hostile, you don't know any other way" Lucy interrupts.
Jeff carries on as if she hadn't spoken "and I need the backing of my investors. This deal will make the family a million dollars and firm up the strangle hold I have in the construction industry in this country and if you leave me I will ensure that you never see a penny and that Alans education is over, as I will not pay for college and without a good education he will be relegated to washing dishes for a living which is all he is ever going to be good enough for anyway."
"We will find a way to make it work Jeff, I have never needed your money to be happy" Lucy insists.
"Okay so you don't get it. I know you are stupid Lucile, but I had no idea you were this stupid, so I am going to spell it out for you. You try to leave me, and I will kill you"
With that Jeff storms out of the house, seething in anger. Bloody Gordon has caused him thousands of problems, and he is done. Everything is his fault. He should have put him up for adoption when he was born then he wouldn't have this problem hanging over his head like a dark cloud always threatening a storm.
*END FLASHBACK*
Alan panics when he comes across what was his house. It is now buried under a pile of snow. He has no idea if his parents are in there or not. Pulling his phone out, he tries his mom first, crossing everything for good news, his fingers, toes and even his eyes are crossed. But there is no answer, his stomach falling through his butt he dials his father.
"Alan, I hope you are calling to tell me you are in your room" is his fathers' way of a greeting.
"Dad? Where are you?" Alan asks, unable to hide the desperation in his voice.
"In the office answer my question" Jeff replies.
"Dad, the house. Its buried in an avalanche and I can't get hold of mom, is she with you?" Alan tells him, hoping that he realises that he is not in his room.
"No she isn't. she must be in the house Alan" Jeffs voice sounds indifferent.
"I am calling the emergency services, please come and help" Alan begs his father.
"Do it, I have a meeting to get too. there is nothing I can do to help so there is no point me being there" Jeff replies, hanging up on him before Alan has a chance to say another word.
Alan works tirelessly for hours with the help of the emergency services, and a lot of local people who have come to help. The windows have been smashed by the fiercely moving snow, and there is no sign of his mom.
Alan climbs in through one of the windows, slicing his leg on broken glass, swearing loudly as the blood starts to seep into his torn jeans but he keeps going. The same word being called over and over again to no response; "MOM?"
Exploring the house, Alan can't believe the snow he has always loved so much can do so much damage. Going down the stairs, he can hear a noise from the kitchen. Calling out again this time there is a reply. It is quiet and filled with pain, but it is there.
"Mom, I am coming mom. Stay with me" Alan calls, carefully negotiating the fallen debris to get to her.
Alans heart stops at the sight that greets him.
"Mom?" he whispers.
The scene is one of utter devastation and he knows it will haunt his nightmares for years. The table has been shattered into firewood, cups and plates have falling to the floor and cracked. And the fridge is lying on his side and worse, his mom is trapped underneath.
"Allie" She whispers back, grateful that she is no longer alone. That her baby has come to save her.
Alan throws himself onto the floor next to her, cradling her torso in his arms, his head lowered down so his forehead is making contact with hers.
"It's going to be okay mom; we are going to get you out of here" Alan tells her reassuringly.
"It's too late Allie, I am not going to make it. Its so cold" She trembles.
"Don't talk like that, we were going to escape from dad remember?" Alan insists.
"This is the only escape Allie" Lucy insists. There is no sadness in her words, just acceptance now.
"Mom, please, stay with me" Alan begs, tears streaming down his face, she can't give up now, not after everything they have been through together. He needs her, his shinning light in a world so dark he can't navigate it without her. Memories of his childhood flash before him, all the happy memories, the ones without his father. The day trips to the lake to go swimming, the cookie baking sessions, weeks where his father would be on a trip where they would stay up late at the weekends eating popcorn and watching movies. This can't be the end, it just can't.
Lucy sighs, and releases a deep breath before speaking again, her voice hoarse. "Allie, please look for Gordy for me, and let him know that I loved him and I was never angry"
"You can tell him yourself when we get out of here" Alan insists.
"Promise me Allie" Lucy reiterates, her voice now desperate.
"Okay mom, I promise" Alan tells her.
"Thank you, Allie, I love you son" Lucy tells him, before one final rattling breath escapes her lips, and her body becomes still and limp in his arms.
One last whisper of "Mom" and Alan is gone, crying hysterically and refusing to let go of her body, even when the paramedics arrive and insist on taking her away.
"You can come with us son" a nameless, faceless paramedic tells him, and he has no idea if they are even male or female. His ears aren't cooperating.
"No, I am grounded, I have to be in my room when my father gets home, or he will whip me" Alan insists.
"No one is going to hurt you, come on Allie, you are in shock, come with us. Please" he is told.
Alan allows himself to be moved from the house and into the ambulance. He doesn't speak, leaning his head against the window, he tries to cry again, but finds himself unable to. There is a numbness settling over him, and he suddenly feels nothing. He doesn't know how to feel, he was too young to remember his grandparents who died a long time ago.
Jeff is waiting for him when he gets to the hospital, and one look at his father and he knows that he knows. The look on his face is identical to Alans, disbelief that this could happen. That his mom who was so healthy and whole just hours before can be gone.
It is clear that neither father nor son have any idea what to say to each other, before Jeff finally breaks the silence. "Tell your brothers, I am going to find out what needs to be done" that's it, no words of comfort, just an order before leaving him alone with his grief.
And Alan realises that he shouldn't have expected anything different.