I wrote this at about eleven last night after finding a 200 word plan in my notes app. I think I temporarily went insane when I wrote that plan. Anyway, enjoy!

Danny wasn't quite sure how he had ended up here, but he'd be damned if he wasn't going to make the most of it. He sat up, rubbing his jumpsuit down and checking himself over for bruises. There were quite a few, but they'd be gone in a few minutes; no serious injuries to worry about.

He looked about him with interest, taking in the crimson cliffs and huge lakes of spitting lava. Great slashes ran across the ground, steam pouring form their depths. A blood red sky glared down at him from above, the silence of the area punctuated by screaming vultures. Actually… they looked remarkably like Vlad's vultures. Huh.

"So I guess this is what hell looks like then." Danny said, then felt stupid because he was the only one there. "honestly, I thought it'd be worse."

He wondered if he was actually in hell and had somehow died for real, then figured that he was probably just in some obscure part of the ghost zone. Wasn't that just typical?

He wandered around for a bit, taking in the sights and quickly growing sick of red. Everything here was red. His throat was dry and when he decided that singing was a good idea, it became more so. The vultures flapping around him clearly didn't like the singing – he couldn't think why – and he soon had to fight off a half dozen birds with very sharp beaks and talons.

He came out of that scuffle with a few more cuts than he would have liked.

He tried to work out how to get out of this place, but that proved difficult. He had no idea how he'd got here, and there was no obvious way out, and a more thorough look showed no hidden path either.

Around an hour into his exploration of hell, Danny came across a river of fire. By this time, he was completely parched, and was in desperate need of liquid.

Danny Fenton was not known as an idiot for nothing.

He remembered a story Lancer once told him in a lesson on Greek mythology, where one could drink out of the fiery river Acheron and be instantly healed. Danny thought this was a good idea.

Danny was wrong.

He trudged miserably back to where he had com from, throat burning and hair singed.

On the plus side, there had been some sort of red algae on the river bank that had been somewhat edible, although they had neither looked nor tasted it. That meant Danny wasn't going to die of starvation any time soon, which was probably a good thing. He had also found a way of making water from the steam that rose from the cracks in the ground using his ice powers to condense it and then creating a crude container from ectoplasm.

As he set up a make shift tent out of his human t shirt and a few dead branches he found on the ground, Danny sighed. He supposed he should find some way to contact his friends and tell them that he was, for the most part, fine, but could they please come and pick him up at the earliest possible time.

His phone was out of battery and he doubted there would have been any service anyway, so that was out of the question. He settled for finding a piece of bark on the ground and scratching out his message on there. He figured the vultures could pass as delivery pigeons if they ever stopped trying to kill him.

Sam, Tucker, Jazz,

Hi. Um… I'm writing from… well I have no idea where I am. Hell, I guess. Or some weird hell dimension somewhere in the ghost zone. I was just flying along and suddenly, BAM! I'm on the ground and everything's red. I hate red.

I'm fine. I know you don't like me saying that, Sam, but I am actually fine. No half life threatening injuries, no evil ghosts, just enough food to survive. All good. Got water too.

Anyway, as I said, no idea how I got here, no idea how I'm getting back, but I'll be fine I guess. I've never not been fine before.

I'm getting pretty bored out here, and yes, Jazz. I have only been here for a few hours. So what? I bet you'll want to psychoanalyse me when I get back. Make sure my innocent youthful brain hasn't been damaged by traumatic events. Just kidding. I love you really.

Hey, Tucker, Sam, can you two keep my doomed high score? Preferably Sam. Hate to say it, dude, but she's better than you. Make sure Wes fucking Weston doesn't beat me. I know he wants to. Dickhead.

Anyway, I literally can't think of anything to say that isn't complaining about the colour red, so I'm gonna stop writing now.

Uh, how are you supposed to end these things?

Bye? Danny. Xxx

He ended his writing with a flourish and dropped the bark on the floor. Hey, while he was at it, why not write one to his parents as well?

Dear mom and dad,

I haven't been kidnapped, I haven't run away, and there are NO GHOSTS involved at all. I am absolutely fine. I'm just taking a break. I guess I could tell you I'm staying at Sam or tuckers, but then you'd check and find out id been lying which would be annoying. So, no I'm not at their houses. Honestly, I'm not sure where I am, but I'm fine. I swear I'm totally fine. No need at all to worry and definitely no need to come looking for me.

Also, please don't get the RV out and put that stupid picture of me on the window. And no siren. Please.

Anyway, that's all I have to say. See you soon I hope definitely. Absolutely.

Love you, Danny.

P.S. THERE ARE NO GHOSTS I SWEAR!

He smiled. Hopefully his parents would take that at face value and not go all out looking for him. Hopefully.

Danny sat for a bit, then realised he really rather liked writing his postcards. He reached down for another piece of bark.

Hey, Red… Val… whatever.

Thought I'd write you this since I care about you so much. You'll be glad to know I'm stuck in a hell dimension in the ghost zone. I can just imagine you having an impromptu party right now as you read this. Yay! Phantom's gone! Now the town can get overrun with ghost in peace!

Anyway, yeah. Hell's pretty great not gonna lie. The food here is five star and its got such a great colour scheme.

If you can't tell I'm being sarcastic, then you're an idiot… which you are actually, since you wont understand that Cujo WASN'T MY DOG GODDAMMIT! Get that through your thick helmet!

How's school going for you? Mr Lancer setting really interesting homework? Don't think I haven't seen you doing it between ghost fights. I read Animal Farm over your shoulder once. Surprised you didn't hear me crying when Boxer died. That horse deserved better.

I've got nothing to read here. I'm bored.

Actually, I bet you've got better things to do than read this. Say hi to the box ghost for me.

Love, Phantom. Xox

Danny smirked as he signed Valerie's letter; she would be livid. Now, for his other archenemy.

My dearest fruitloop,

Greetings from hell – wish you were here! It's really amazing. Perhaps not the billionaire life you're used to, but I really think you'd love it.

Now, I bet you're thinking that now I'm gone for a bit, you can take over amity park or kill my dad or something. Ha, think again. Sam Manson will be very happy to sue your ass and is perfectly capable of it. Plus, I'm pretty sure you can't afford to lose that investment her parents just put into your bank.

What is it you always say? Check and mate? Yeah that. Honestly I don't get your weird ass chess puns. You're seriously sad, Vlad.

How's Maddie the cat? Filling the void? Is she the companion you've always wanted? I always knew deep down that you were just one of those middle aged weirdos who spend all day inside with their cat. Or maybe you're one of those crazy cat ladies – you know, like old Mrs Baker next door to me? Gotta say, her cats are better than yours. Much cuddlier. She always lets me come round and pet them.

Oh by the way, Danni says hi. Or at least, she did the last time I saw her. She's kind of gone off the radar. I think she's in New Zealand or something at the moment. Not sure.

Did the packers win their last game? I would have watched it, but you know. Stuck in a hell dimension and all that. Not much I can do about it.

I heard that they're streaming cats the musical on YouTube later this week. You should watch it; its perfect for you.

Anyway, like I said, wish you were here, and can't wait to see you again so I can kick your ass.

Your little badger (not), Danny Fenton.

P.S: I've enclosed a little present for you too. Hope you like blood blossoms. They have a lovely smell.

Danny put down his stylus, content with his letters. He was sure Vlad would appreciate the little present he put in too.

With that happy thought, he drifted off to sleep.

Far away in yet another dimension, this one slightly more familiar, Vlad masters was having a brief episode of agony. Once he had finished dying, he threw his hands up in the air and screamed for a while. A few minutes straight of good healthy screaming. He hadn't done it in a while, thinking himself above the practice now that he was a mature fifty year old billionaire, but damn did it feel good.

Unfortunately, the effects of the blood blossoms hadn't quite worn off, and so the screaming resulted in his throat flaring up with pain.

He took a swig of water and washed it down with a sip of ectoplasm from the bottle he kept by his computer.

"Why, Maddie?" he lamented. "Why is Daniel like this? All I want to do is kill his father, marry his mom and adopt him! Is that really so hard? Life is so unfair sometimes. All I do is good, and this is where it gets me."

Maddie mewed and leapt out of his arms and onto the floor. She slunk away out of the door, leaving Vlad rather despondent.

Across the town, two teenagers were sitting at a computer, eyes glued to the screen and laughing their heads off.

"I can't believe you managed to hack Vlad's webcam!" Sam wheezed. "This is pure gold!"

"Agreed." Tucker returned, clasping his side and unable to do anything but rock back and forth.

"Should we be worried about Danny?" the girl pondered, eyes wandering from the screen.

Tucker stopped laughing, thought about it for a second, and shook his head. "Ah, he'll be fine. Let' just keep watching Vlad be an idiot."

"No arguments here." Sam grinned.

I managed to write something that isn't just dialogue - wow.