So, there we go for a new story. I warn everyone that we will be travelling down a very dark road, so be prepared. The beginning is canon-compliant, so there will be plenty of lines from the show, that of course belong to Ceasar's ;)
Downstairs
She lay on the cold hard floor, feeling completely numb. Curled up in a ball, her body heavy like a stone, her lungs barely able to breathe, like she was buried under a ton of gravel. At that precise moment, she wished the stone floor would swallow her and she could disappear into peace and nothingness. In the space of twenty minutes, her world had been torn apart. The person she was, the happy life she had, they no longer existed. Her soul had been ripped out and broken into smithereens, and she was left the empty shell of her old self.
x x x x
Half an hour earlier, upstairs
The whole family, their guests and all the servants were gathered in the Great Hall, listening to Dame Nellie Melba. Anna was sitting next to her husband. She frowned a little and whispered quietly:
- Got a bit of a headache.
- Because of the singing? he asked in the same quiet tone.
- Well, it's not making it any better. It was probably all that shouting in the game. And I'll thank you not to comment, she added after a second's silence, with a pointed look towards her husband.
He shot her a knowing smile. She had gotten a bit carried away by excitement during that card game earlier. They had had a bit of a row on the subject.
- I'll pop down and get something, she said.
As the song ended and the audience applauded, she got up and made her way to the stairs leading to the Servants' Hall. As she was leaving the Great Hall, she didn't notice the man's gaze, filled with lust, that was following her.
x x x x
Downstairs
In a blur, she heard his voice as he was straightening his clothes:
- I had a lovely time Mrs Bates. I hope you enjoyed having a real man for once.
And the door closed behind him, as tears silently fell from her eyes onto the floor. When her brain finally started to unfreeze, her first conscious thought was for her husband. She could not have him find her in that state. She winced as she sat up on the floor. She looked down at her damaged dress. She had to pull it down to cover her legs, because the man had brought it up above her waist. She was naked under the dress, and looking around she saw her torn and discarded underwear under the table. She slowly raised her hands in front of her and saw the cuts and bruises on them. She then touched her face and her fingers became bloody when they brushed over her lips. She moaned when she touched the back of her head and met the bump that had formed where her head had hit the stone floor. Panic rose inside her. She had to hide somewhere. No one, especially John, could see her like that. She thought of locking herself in a bathroom, but how would she find some clothes to replace her wasted dress? What if she sneaked outside and ran to the cottage? But her bruised body reminded her that she was not fit to run, and the thought of being alone outside in the darkness in a torn dress made her shiver. She didn't see how she could get out of this situation without telling at least one person. She concluded that the only person she could confide into was Mrs Hughes. She trusted that the woman would not betray her if she asked her not to tell anyone. She slowly got up, peeked outside the boot room door to check that the hallway was empty. Everybody was still upstairs attending the concert. She sneaked out and walked as fast as she could towards Mrs Hughes's parlor. She gritted her teeth at the pain that shot from her thighs and lower belly as she hurried down the corridor. She sighed when she pushed the door and found that it was not locked. She entered, closed the door behind her, and crumbled in a corner behind the cabinet, folding her legs under herself and closing her arms around her frame. She was glad to let darkness swallow her whole.
x x x x
Upstairs
John bent slightly towards Mrs Hughes and said with a half-smile:
- I wonder what she's doing. Maybe she's fallen asleep.
- Well, she wouldn't get much sleep up here, that's for sure, answered the Housekeeper.
As she finished her sentence, she turned her head to the left and noticed the man coming back to his seat, straightening his jacket.
x x x x
Downstairs
Mrs Hughes's high spirits fell down right away when she entered her sitting-room, put the light on, and heard:
- Shut the door!
- My God, she gasped at the sight of Anna crouched behind her cabinet.
- Shut the door! repeated Anna frantically. Will you help me? Will you find me some clothes?
- Yes of course I will, but…
- Will you see to Lady Mary, cut Anna, say I've gone home with a headache…
- I can manage Lady Mary, but Anna… we must tell someone!
- No! No!
- But you have to tell M. Bates!
- Him least of all! If he knew he'd murder the man who's done it and then he'd be hanged!
- But surely…
- He's a convicted felon! Do you think they'll spare him a second time? No…
Mrs Hughes was thinking fast.
- Maybe the doctor's still here.
She turned around towards the door, but Anna grabbed her arm with a desperate look on her face.
- Will you listen? I need your help, or I wouldn't have told you! Nobody else must ever know! You promise me?
Mrs Hughes clearly was not convinced, but in the end she nodded, and said, stroking her cheek and putting the bloody hair away from her face:
- Wait here, I'll fetch you some water, and a comb, and see what I can find in the way of a dress…
x x x x
- What's the matter? asked John, concerned.
- Nothing, she answered uncomfortably. I just feel like walking on my own, that's all.
- Anna? Anna! John called desperately after her as she walked away in the darkness, crying.
She couldn't be near him, she couldn't bear his touch, his worried solicitude. She felt that he would notice how dirty and ruined she was. That was how she felt anyway. When the man had showed up down the hall a few moments earlier and said goodnight and thank you as if nothing had happened, she thought she was going to throw up right there. She didn't know how she had managed to hold herself together. She walked to the cottage as fast as she could, ignoring the pain filling her body. When she got there, she quickly unlocked the door, and went directly upstairs to the bathroom without turning the downstairs lights on. She locked herself in the bathroom and started running a bath. She scrubbed her body frantically, trying to get rid of that filthy feeling, but it didn't work. She only managed to make her bruises and cuts even more painful. She broke into tears sitting in the bathtub, bringing her knees to her chest and circling them with her arms, hiding her head into her lap. She startled when she heard John knock lightly on the bathroom door.
- Anna? Are you alright?
- Yes, yes, I'm fine, she said while brushing the tears off her cheeks.
She dried herself, put her nightgown on, and unlocked the bedroom. John was changing, facing away from her, so she slipped quickly into her side of the bed, lay herself on the very edge of the bed facing the wall, pulled the blanket as high as she could over herself and pretended to be asleep.
She felt the bed move when John climbed into it. He looked at her, wondering what on earth had befallen on his wife so that she should act so weird tonight.
- Are you sure you're alright my darling? Is this headache still bothering you? he asked tenderly.
- Yes, she mumbled, that's the headache.
- Oh. I hope you'll feel better in the morning. Try to sleep. Goodnight love.
- Goodnight.
Though she knew that she would probably not sleep a wink, and would surely not feel better in the morning.
Indeed, when morning finally came, she had had very few moments of dozing out of exhaustion, but she still felt terrible. She had spent the whole night reliving those fateful moments, wondering how she would handle the next days and especially John. She was deeply convinced that the moment he would learn about this, he would go and murder the culprit. She had to avoid that at all costs. What if she found herself pregnant? She shivered at that thought, and tried to convince herself that it would not happen. After all, she had not become pregnant in all the months since John had been released, so why should it happen now? She tried to put that thought away. She crept out of bed before their alarm clock rang, and once again locked herself in the bathroom. She looked at her face in the mirror and saw the extent of the damage from the night before. There was no way this would go unnoticed in the Servants' Hall. She wanted to take another bath and scrub herself again, but she knew that would wake John up and she didn't want that. So she only washed herself at the sink with a flannel, got dressed and sneaked silently out of the cottage.
x x x x
-Why didn't you wait for me?
Anna was in the boot room, trying to get her anxiety out by angrily brushing a pair of shoes when she heard the hurt and worry in John's voice.
- I wanted to finish these before breakfast.
- Is it something I've done?
- No. Not anything. Nobody's done anything.
Moments later, she had fled the Servants' Hall, to avoid the other's scrutiny. Of course Thomas had noticed the bruises on her face. The only available chair was next to the man, and she had tried to sit there and pretend everything was fine, but she couldn't. Anyway her stomach was so tightly knotted, she couldn't eat anything.
- How was Anna when you lent her that dress yesterday? whispered Bates to Mrs Hughes.
- How should she be? she answered, trying to sound casual. Anna had asked her not to tell, so she was not going to spill it.
- She told me she'd fallen and cut her lip, but I wondered if it might be more serious than that. She's always one to minimize things.
- I'm sure I don't know anything you don't know, she lied.
She could see that he was not fooled. Mr Bates knew his wife well and loved her very deeply. Of course he could sense that something was wrong. She wondered how long Anna would be able to conceal what had happened.
All day long she tried to appear her usual self, but apparently she was doing quite poorly. After her husband, it was Lady Mary who worried and inquired about her well-being. Those two knew her too well not to notice her lack of smile and chatter. She was going to have to try harder. Anyway she welcomed the upcoming trip to London, at least to be away from John's repeated questions.
x x x x
At the end of the day, she entered Mrs Hughes's parlor. When Mr Carson had left, she stood in front of the Housekeeper, nervously rubbing her hands together.
- When I get back from London, I want to move back upstairs.
- What? gasped Mrs Hughes. Why for heaven's sake?
- Because I can't…
She pursed her lips together as tears were threatening to spill, while she kept twisting her wedding band.
- I can't let him touch me.
- But whatever happened was not Mr Bates's fault surely?
- Of course not. He is without fault, and that's the point. I'm not good enough for him, not now.
- Oh, why say that?
- Because I think that somehow I… I must have made it happen!
- Oh stuff and nonsense! You were attacked by an evil, violent man, there's no sin in that!
- But I feel dirty! I can't let him touch me, because I'm soiled.
- Anna, I've been thinking, said Mrs Hughes pointedly, taking both Anna's hands into her own and squeezing them. We must go to the police.
- No.
She knew how these things worked. Women were never believed. She was not going to bring shame upon her husband and the Grantham family.
- But suppose you're with child? What will you do then?
- I'll kill myself!
She had gone over that question over and over since the attack, and she couldn't see any other way around. There was no way she could bear that man's child, and no way she could ask John to raise that child.
- I won't hear any of that! replied Mrs Hughes. No man should be able to do what he did and get away with it.
- And when Mr Bates has killed him, will you come with me to the prison when my husband is hanged?
- But the poor man's heart is breaking for not knowing…
- Better a broken heart that a broken neck, she said stubbornly. So, can I have a room please?
Nothing new here for the moment. Just following canon and filling some blanks. We will stray away from canon a little bit further down the path. Please let me know what you think.