CHAPTER 2: Promises
It was sunny the day of the wedding, but started raining lightly in the middle of the ceremony. Just a light drizzle, not even enough to ruin the happy mood of the occasion. Naruto seemed as if he didn't even notice it as drops splashed into his hair and rolled down her blushing cheeks. No one bothered to move under a canopy to avoid it and as soon as the vows were made it stopped as suddenly as it started.
All this Sasuke only knew from the report Sakura had insisted on giving him the next day, detailing every little thing about the ceremony, down to the clothes everyone was wearing and the look on Naruto's face when he first saw her in her gorgeous, elegant kimono.
Sasuke hadn't attending the wedding.
Looking back, that was probably when things really began to go bad.
Things were already sour between them, had been ever since that night, but they were at least still speaking, still trying to pretend like nothing happened and everything was normal. Naruto had been dating Hinata for almost half a year when he came by Sasuke's apartment and nervously asked him if he wanted to go by Ichiraku for some dinner. It wasn't a strange request; they ate together often, even with the strangeness that hung over both of them since that night. Naruto's obvious nervousness made Sasuke anxious himself, worried that maybe Naruto was going to confront him, that they were going to have to really talk about what had happened and Sasuke knew he had no idea what he was going to say. He agreed anyway, ignoring how his heart felt like it was in his throat the entire walk to the ramen bar.
They were both quieter than normal—even Naruto. He spent the whole time walking with his hands in his pockets, casting unsubtle glances Sasuke's way every few seconds. Whenever Sasuke tried to say something it died on his tongue and they ended up ordering their food in the same reserved tones. Teuchi even stared at them oddly as he took their orders, like he could tell something was off between them.
Sasuke was halfway through his first bowl and Naruto was just starting his second when he finally blurted out,
"I'm getting married next month!"
Sasuke had blinked slowly, twice, carefully setting his chopsticks down and pushing the empty ramen bowl away before replying evenly,
"Congratulations."
"Uh," Naruto swallowed, staring down into his bowl, hands on his thighs, "Um, thanks? It's—" A soft smile fell to his face and Sasuke clenched his fists beneath the counter. "It's pretty great!"
He wanted to run, to get away from Naruto as soon as possible before Naruto could notice that something was wrong. Instead he just sat there silently until he couldn't any longer. He was lucky he had as much practice hiding his emotions as he did—it came in handy.
"So?" he asked, smirking. "Brought me to Ichiraku just to tell me that? You were acting so nervous I thought it was something important."
Naruto huffed out a laugh, rubbing the back of his head.
"Well—I uh, I wanted to ask you something, too." He glanced quickly at Sasuke and then away again. He was still nervous, fiddling anxiously with the fabric of his pants, hesitating to ask what he wanted to.
"What did you want to ask?" Sasuke finally prompted, hoping he could end their conversation and give some excuse to get home as soon as possible. He didn't know how much longer he could be around Naruto now. It hurt too much to bear.
Naruto sent another quick glance his way and then inhaled deeply, like he was gathering courage.
"Will you be my best man?"
Sasuke hadn't expected that, though he didn't know why. He was Naruto's best friend; Naruto was his. Naruto didn't know how he felt, didn't realize how that night, that stupid fucking disaster of a night, had changed their relationship. Of course Naruto would want him by his side on his wedding day.
His stomach felt like lead. He knew he could do it—could stand by Naruto's side and watch the man he loved marry someone else—he just didn't want to.
"You know," Naruto added, staring down at his lap, even more nervous than before since Sasuke had yet to reply. "Since my mom and dad are—they can't be there. And Pervy Sage is, um… Of course Sakura is gonna be there! And Kakashi and Iruka-sensei, and everybody. I was just hoping maybe you would—"
"You said next month?" Sasuke cut him off, refusing to look into the blond's eyes.
"Yeah?"
"I have a mission," he lied, and didn't even need to look over to know how Naruto's shoulders drooped and his face fell in disappointment.
"Oh," he said. "Right."
That was the last night things were anywhere close to normal between them. After rejecting Naruto's offer of best man they stopped eating together, spending time together, and eventually stopped talking all together unless they were with others. A few people noticed it, but no one said anything, at least not to Sasuke. Sakura looked as if she wanted to, plenty of times, but she never did, and Sasuke was glad. He didn't know how he would explain it to her if she ever did.
Sasuke used his fake excuse as a reason to take an actual mission around the time of the wedding. Fortunately there were plenty, as many of the shinobi in the village wanted to have the time off to attend the ceremony—unfortunately, the mission Tsunade ended up giving him was that of a village guard, which meant he remained in Konoha instead of being away like he'd wanted. He was sure she'd done it on purpose.
He'd been shielding his eyes from the sun when the first splattered drops of rain fell into his hair. He smiled to himself sardonically, thinking that rain while the sun was shining was just the kind of weather to have the day a fox got married.***
The weather the day of her funeral was the opposite, and this time Sasuke didn't avoid the ceremony.
It had been cloudy all day, with patches of intense rain and a fog that wouldn't lift. He'd gotten dressed in black clothing that matched what every other villager wore as they filed towards the graveyard. Sakura found him in the crowd easily, falling in step beside him. She said nothing, just stared at the ground in front of her as they walked. Ino joined them after a ways and held Sakura's hand until they reached the graves.
He was waiting there, dressed in black with no Hokage robes thrown across his shoulders. He held Nori's hand as the child stood beside him—father and son wore matching expressions of grief as they stared towards the ground.
To his left stood Kakashi and Tsunade. Neither wore the Hokage robes either.
On his right, Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino had their places. They looked worse than Sasuke had seen them before, like the truth of it had finally settled in their minds and was trying to drag them into the ground themselves. Kurenai was beside them with her son, crying silently as she watched the crowds gather. He felt a twang of pity for her—he knew she thought of Hinata as her own daughter. He caught her glance down the row of people at Nori and then back at her own son, shaking her head sadly. Suddenly Sasuke felt that the Dorogakure ninja who'd killed her didn't get nearly what they deserved.
The ceremony began and the crowd parted to leave a wide path for the members of the Hyuuga family carrying her casket to move through. As soon as they came into view the rain stopped.
Hiashi held up the front left with Neji on the opposite side. Sasuke was surprised to see Hanabi holding up the back end with help from the guard who had returned after the attack with her body and the news of her fate. He hadn't thought Hiashi would allow his younger daughter to carry so much weight, but from the little he knew of Hanabi Hyuuga, she seemed as strong-willed as her father and cousin.
Sasuke was sure Naruto would be with them if not for the customs of the Hyuuga clan. Instead he stood silently with his son and watched the procession approach.
The sun shone throughout the entire ceremony and Sasuke stood silently by Sakura and Ino until it was finished and they moved off to find their other friends.
"And to offer our condolences," Sakura said, obviously hinting at what she thought Sasuke should do himself. He didn't bother replying. His condolences meant nothing. Nothing he said would change how he felt about Naruto.
His eyes searched the crowd until he found him, and was surprised to find him in conversation with Gaara, Temari, and Shikamaru. They must have come all the way from Sand just for the funeral. He didn't know why he was surprised—after all, they had been on their way back from Sand when they were attacked. Gaara must feel some kind of guilt, however baseless it may be. He could just barely hear their conversation from where he was standing, hiding behind a group of villagers silently praying.
"Are you and Temari only here for a visit?" Naruto asked Shikamaru.
"No, I think we're going to stay for a while."
"I said I didn't want another Leaf baby," Temari added, smiling down at the small bump of her belly, "but Asume missed it here and Shishika only got to see her Aunt Ino a few times a year. They'll be happier settled down for a while, at least until this one is old enough to travel. It's been hard to pick a place to stay. Sand and Leaf both want us. When Gaara said he was coming we thought we would tag along. I'm sorry it's because of such circumstances. How is Nori?"
Naruto face darkened and he looked towards the ground.
"He's… he's quiet. He's depressed and I feel like I can't do anything to help him."
"He'll be okay, Naruto," Gaara muttered, placing a hand gently on Naruto's shoulder. "He's strong. You just have to be there for him. Do you know when they'll let you go back to your Hokage duties?"
"No. Kakashi hasn't said. I know I need to spend time with Nori, but I want to get back to work. I feel helpless not doing anything."
"I'll speak with Kakashi and the elders about it," Gaara promised.
Sasuke needed to speak to Kakashi as well, and searched the crowd until he found him, standing where Sasuke should have expected him to be, in front of the stone with the names of his former teammates on it. He approached cautiously, unsure how Kakashi would react to him—they hadn't been on the best of terms ever since Sasuke returned to the village. Kakashi was one of the few people who still didn't seem to trust him.
"Can I help you, Sasuke?" his old teacher asked, hands sliding into his pockets. His gaze didn't leave the stone. Sasuke stood beside him, staring forward as he answered.
"What happened to the captive Shino brought back?"
"He's gone," was the only answer Kakashi provided.
"Did Naruto…?"
"No. He didn't know he was ever in the village. The man gave us some information and then Neji took care of him."
Sasuke let out a shallow sigh. Kakashi looked at him briefly before looking away again.
"You know why we didn't let Naruto go retrieve Nori, don't you, Sasuke?"
He nodded. The reasons they'd given Naruto weren't valid enough to be real. He wasn't "too emotional" and the Dorogakure nin had no allies to offend if the Hokage attacked them, those were just excuses to keep Naruto in the village.
He thought about Shino and Kiba, the hollow looks on their faces and the way they'd reacted on the mission. He thought about Neji and how they'd had to restrain him, and he thought about himself, what revenge and murder did to him. They'd made the right choice keeping Naruto away, though it must have been difficult to accomplish.
"What kind of information did the Mud nin give?"
Kakashi paused, deciding whether he would answer or not. Eventually he began,
"They were attacked as soon as they entered the territory. They were being watched for a ways before they reached it but none of their party noticed until it was too late.
"They captured Nori first, and getting Hinata to cooperate after that was easy. Then they started killing the rest of their party, all while Nori and Hinata watched. Finally Hinata couldn't stand it anymore and she fought back, trying to free her son so that they could flee. They outnumbered her and wore her down, finally using her son against her. Apparently she took a countless number of them with her, but in the end she was choked to death by some twisted water jutsu."
"The boy," Sasuke didn't want to ask, "he—"
"He saw the whole thing," Kakashi replied quietly. Sasuke shut his eyes. Memories he hadn't thought about for years came flooding back—his mother and father's blood pooling on the floor, their bodies falling as his brother stood over them, red eyes spinning. No child deserved those kinds of memories haunting them for the rest of their life. He suddenly wanted to do something for the child, but couldn't even begin to think of what he might be able to do.
He changed the subject instead.
"Is there anything left of Dorogakure?"
"We don't believe so. If there was, we would send you back."
Sasuke had imagined that was the case. It was just the kind of mission that was perfect for him. The village knew how powerful he was, and anytime they wanted something done fast and quiet they sent him. They weren't secret, dark missions—with Naruto in charge there was nothing like that anymore. No Root or bloody Anbu wars to be fought—but shinobi were shinobi and when situations like that of Dorogakure came along, Sasuke was perfect for the job.
"Sasuke?" Kakashi asked pleasantly, as the rain slowly started up again. His dark eyes were trained on Sasuke, calculating in a way that made Sasuke's defenses rise.
"Hn?"
"You aren't planning on involving yourself in Naruto's life again, are you?"
So that was it. He should have known.
Sasuke glared and spun around to leave.
"That's none of your business," he spat, and left his old teacher with his dead friends to keep him company.
When Sasuke returned home, he drank.
He didn't drink often—it was an unhealthy, wasteful habit. He never purchased alcohol, but it was given so often as a gift he always had a bottle or two in his cabinet if he so desired. He hoped maybe it would help him get to sleep; he never slept well on rainy nights.
It had been rainy that night, too—and they had been drinking.
"Haaaaaa hahahaha! Don't look so sour about it, teme! I'm sure Granny wasn't serious about the D-rank missions, and that old lady will forgive you for scaring her someday, I'm sure."
"Hn, if you're just here to laugh and make stupid joke then get out of my house, dobe."
They'd already been out drinking after the mission—Tsunade decided to take Naruto to some bars to congratulate him on starting his Hokage training. It had been his last mission before training and as a joke she'd made he and Sasuke help some old lady with her daily chores. They'd almost failed because they started arguing and when she found out she threatened to have Sasuke suspended to D-rank missions "if he can't even manage one mission without a fight breaking out."
Sakura and Kakashi had joined them at the bar, they'd eaten and drank, Naruto growing increasingly loud and boisterous as Tsunade kept making him do him more and more sake bombs. By the time the others decided to go home even Sasuke felt a little tipsy. That was probably why he agreed to let Naruto come back to his place and keep drinking.
"I'm not tired at all! Come on, Sasuke, we're finally adults and all you want to do is read all day and water your plants!"
Sasuke had glared at him but consented and allowed the loud blond willingly into his apartment. It wasn't even a good idea on a normal day, when no alcohol had been consumed, because whenever he and Naruto spent too much time together they ended up fighting and causing some kind of property destruction. Yet somehow Sasuke didn't want the night to end.
"Oi, you think we'll ever be like Gai and Kakashi-sensei?"
Sasuke gave him an alarmed look from across his living room coffee table. They were both sitting on the floor with open bottles in front of them. It felt warm in his house, though it was probably just from all the drinking. There was a blush on Naruto's cheeks that betrayed his own inebriation.
The alcohol must have been affecting Sasuke more than he thought, because instead of refusing to dignify such a ridiculous question with an answered, he replied,
"I'm not nearly as pathetic as Kakashi and you're only about half as obnoxious as Gai. There's no way we'd ever be that ridiculous."
Naruto's face showed amusement, annoyance, and then thoughtfulness.
"I mean, do you think we'll get tired of beating the crap out of each other all the time and start making up other competitions? We could try rock, paper, scissors?"
"That's a dumb contest, there's no skill."
"That sounds like something someone scared of losing would say!"
"No way, dead last. I'm not gonna fall for that."
"Whatever, spoil sport," Naruto muttered, pouting at his glass. He lifted it to his mouth, licking the perspiration around the neck of the bottle before throwing his head back to take a huge gulp. He set the glass back down and looked up at Sasuke from under his eyelashes. When he noticed Sasuke staring at him he glanced away, looking towards his lap.
Sasuke blinked and frowned at himself. He didn't know why he had been staring so intently at Naruto; it wasn't as if they didn't spent time together. It had been a few years since they were reunited (or, as Naruto called it, "punched Sasuke hard enough that he finally got some sense") (which was not, in Sasuke's memory, exactly what happened, but either way he had agreed to return to the village, so it didn't make much difference in the end) and they spent most of that time together. It was like Naruto was trying to make up for all the time they'd been apart—not to mention Naruto was one of the very few people Sasuke could stand to be around at first. He still had some trouble dealing with a few of his classmates and fellow comrades, but he was much more reasonable than when he'd first returned.
He looked up again to find Naruto telling him some dumb joke, and he completely forgot about the moment before, taking a sip of his own drink as he listened to Naruto try and come up with more competitions they could have instead of just rolling around on the ground wrestling or sparring until neither could move.
"You know, 'cuz I'm not gonna have as much time for that stuff. When I'm Hokage."
"Hn. Don't worry about it. I'll still find time to kick your ass if you want."
Naruto grinned, but then his expression fell.
"What?" Sasuke found himself asking.
"Granny just said it takes a lot of time. And she always seems like she's working. I don't want to be so busy I won't see anyone. I wonder how my dad did it…"
Sasuke hesitated, awkwardly unsure in the suddenly heavy room. He sighed and Naruto looked up at him curiously.
"The fourth was much cooler than you are," he said flatly. "You shouldn't compare yourself to him."
"Asshole!" Naruto shouted, tossing a pillow from the couch at Sasuke's head. He dodged it easily and smirked Naruto's way. He was glad to find that it had eased at least some of Naruto's tension.
The night pressed on, later and later. It was surely nearing morning and Sasuke should have been tired, but he wasn't. The night outside was wet and cool, but inside his apartment was warm and dry. He imagined Naruto would want to stay the night, and for once Sasuke was inclined to let him.
They bickered about the mission, the ninja world, their friends. Naruto laughed and Sasuke was drunk enough that he might have smiled once or twice. Once he realized his motor skills were affected he decided to stop, but Naruto continued drinking.
He brought another bottle up for a long sip, then groaned to find it empty. He shakily stood from the floor, heading to the kitchen.
"Time for another beeeer!" he crowed, and for some reason Sasuke found himself standing to follow the blond.
"You're going to get alcohol poisoning," Sasuke told him, leaning against his kitchen counter as Naruto opened the fridge door.
"I'm just training," Naruto replied, happily pulling out a cold bottle and closing the door. "According to Granny Tsunade, being Hokage means a loooot of drinking."
Sasuke snorted and rolled his eyes. He watched as Naruto stuck his tongue out trying to get the bottle open.
"You're drunk off your ass," he commented, and Naruto made a face at him.
"Am not! And you're one to talk, all pink and happy. I've never heard you say so much, Sasuke-chan."
"Idiot!" Sasuke spat back, still amused to watch Naruto futilely trying to open the bottle with his hands. "Give that here before you hurt yourself."
Naruto sheepishly handed the bottle over and Sasuke searched through a drawer for the bottle opener they'd been using earlier.
"Hey… Sasuke?" Naruto asked, leaning beside him against the counter. His voice had changed—was suddenly serious like it had been earlier. Sasuke glanced at him to find him scowling. He opened another drawer looking for the bottle opener as he asked,
"What?"
"I'm serious, you know. I'm really going to be Hokage. What if I hate it? What if I fuck it up? It's finally happening and I'm—"
He stopped, voice catching in his throat. Sasuke gave up and set the bottle on the countertop beside him. He folded his arms and tried to focus on what Naruto was saying and not the heat of his body so close to Sasuke's. The alcohol was making his brain work harder than normal, making him sensitive to strange things. He shook his head.
"Stop worrying about it. You aren't even Hokage yet. Isn't this what you've been wanting your whole life?"
"Of course! I just—I don't know—what if I'm not good at it? Do you think I'll be good? I mean really, Sasuke."
Sasuke looked at him, stared into Naruto's anxious blue eyes. His face was still flushed, and for some reason Sasuke found himself glancing at his lips, moist and parted, before looking back into those eyes.
"I thought we decided this a long time ago, Naruto. You're the only person I trust to be Hokage. The only reason I'm here is because you're going to be Hokage."
He saw Naruto swallow, nod his head, and then look up at him from underneath his eyelashes again. Somehow it made the blush on his face more prominent and Sasuke blinked, annoyed that he let himself get so drunk.
"I'm really going to be Hokage, aren't I?" he asked, voice soft, like he was in awe of the whole idea.
"Yeah, and then maybe you can finally shut up about it," Sasuke replied with a smirk.
Naruto grinned, staring at Sasuke intently.
"I'll be Hokage… and you'll be by my side, right? Just in case I do fuck it up?"
"Where else would I be?" Sasuke answered, shaking his head. He sighed and opened the drawer again to try and find the bottle opener, though in his opinion Naruto didn't need any more to drink.
"Sasuke…" he heard, soft and close to his ear. He looked up to tell Naruto that he should stop being so worried about Hokage and just forget about it, but he never got a chance.
Naruto's lips were pressed over his, warm, soft, and wet. Naruto's eyelashes were long and blond over his closed eyes as he kissed Sasuke gently, one hand coming up to hold onto Sasuke's arm. He smelled like beer and ramen, and his body felt like the sun, warm and pressing against Sasuke's, leaning him into the counter.
Sasuke's body reacted on instinct, sending a jolt of chakra-made electricity through his skin, shocking everywhere Naruto was touching.
The blond jumped back with a sound of surprise. He looked up to find Sasuke staring at him with wide, alarmed eyes.
Naruto's expression darkened; he grew frightened and shocked at his own actions. He slowly brought a hand up to cover his mouth, staring around Sasuke's kitchen like he just realized where he was. Then his gaze fell on Sasuke again—the Uchiha hadn't moved.
"You—" Sasuke rasped, touching a fingertip to his lips, still warm and parted from the surprise kiss. His head felt fuzzy, too warm, too bright.
"I—I'm sorry, Sasuke I—" he stuttered, face even redder than before. He started backing away, shaking his head, eyes wide with panic.
"Get out," Sasuke growled, feeling panic welling up inside him as well. He couldn't look at Naruto's face anymore. He glared angry red eyes at him and pointed towards the door.
"Sasuke—"
"Get out!" Sasuke repeated, heart in his throat, stomach full of lead. His head was buzzing, too much alcohol, too many confusing words and actions, he couldn't process, couldn't explain what just happened. He just knew he couldn't be around Naruto, not until he figured out why he was reacting this way.
"I'm sorry," Naruto whispered, fear and regret lacing his words, and with that he practically ran from Sasuke's apartment, throwing the front door open and slamming it closed behind him.
Sasuke stood in his kitchen leaning against the same counter he'd been leaning against that night. He stared down at the bottle opener and took a sip of beer.
He'd lost track of the number of times he'd though about that night. It had been at least four years since then and he still obsessed over it, over how badly he'd ruined everything with just one action and a few stupid words.
His body had reacted automatically with the lightning—that wasn't his fault. He still could have salvaged it, could have said something to change it. Instead he'd just yelled at Naruto to leave, to get out. He'd made a mistake.
He made a drunken, stupid, impulsive mistake and he regretted it every day.
He'd met up with Naruto the next day; he came to Sasuke grinning and apologetic.
"I was so drunk last night, Sasuke! It was an accident, I swear! Tell me you aren't still mad!"
Sasuke could do nothing but roll his eyes, bury his feelings, and pretend like everything was okay—but it wasn't. Things were different between them after that.
And a week after he'd kissed Sasuke in his kitchen, Naruto started dating Hinata.
Sasuke made himself stay away from Naruto after the wedding. He knew he couldn't compete with her. She could give him everything he ever wanted—and she had. She'd given him a son, and love, and she'd probably been sweet and kind and never once tried to kill him, or chidori'd him when he tried to kiss her. She was better for Naruto than Sasuke would ever be, and no matter how much it hurt, he knew staying away was the right thing to do.
But now she was gone. There wasn't anything standing in Sasuke's way anymore—besides the fact that Naruto wouldn't want him, would probably never look at anyone the way he'd looked at Hinata.
Kakashi's words kept ringing through his head.
"You aren't planning on involving yourself in Naruto's life again, are you?"
Was he? A small, terrible part of him wanted to. Maybe if she's gone, he can be mine. It was a terrible thing to think, the very worst, and yet he couldn't help himself. Ever since that night a flame had been ignited inside him, a desire for Naruto beyond friendship, and despite doing everything he could to put it out it had maintained for four years, steadily burning. And with her death it somehow seemed stronger, like hope was the kindling it needed to grow.
He wanted to know what Naruto's lips felt like.
"You aren't planning on involving yourself in Naruto's life again, are you?"
Kakashi hadn't been asking out of pure curiosity; he knew that Sasuke had created distance between himself and Naruto after he got together with Hinata. He, like everyone, saw how Naruto flourished without his presence to bring him down. No one wanted him in Naruto's life.
They were probably right.
He should just keep his distance; it had been so long Naruto would continue not to notice. Things could stay the same and eventually Naruto would move on, his grief would pass, and he would raise his son to be just as strong and bright as he was. And Sasuke should let him, should leave him alone.
It was the right thing to do. Maybe, for once, Sasuke should try doing the right thing.
And yet—
There was a knock at his door. He scowled, settling his drink down and going to open it, wondering if there was some new information about Dorogakure and he was being sent back on a sudden mission to take care of it.
He wasn't expecting to see Naruto at his door, soaking wet and wearing nothing but a t-shirt and pants. He hated that his first thought was how good he looked.
"Sasuke!" he exclaimed, eyes still red from crying, but as big and blue as always.
"What are you doing here, Naruto?" Sasuke asked carefully. He still wasn't sure what to do. Was Naruto showing up at his apartment a sign?
"I uh, wanted to talk to you. It's late, sorry. Can I come in?" He had his hands in his pockets and shoulders hunched over. He looked cold.
Sasuke swallowed and nodded. He started leading Naruto towards the kitchen but stopped and turned towards the living room. The kitchen would be—it would be bad. Naruto sat on his knees and Sasuke sat across from him. It felt very formal. Whatever Naruto had to say seemed important from the serious look on his face and the way he held his back straight, staring nervously around the room before finally mumbling,
"You haven't changed much in here."
Sasuke blinked.
"I guess not."
Naruto looked up at him and attempted a smile. It fell from his face before it even spread to his eyes.
"I haven't, uh, been here in a while. I think you got more books!"
He looked at Sasuke's bookcase but Sasuke didn't follow his gaze. The rainwater had made Naruto's shirt stick to his skin and there were goosebumps up his arms. Sasuke should probably offer him a warm drink or a towel, but he can't move past the image of Naruto in his living room. It had been so long…
"What are you doing here, Naruto? What did you want to talk about?"
Naruto looked away, avoiding Sasuke's gaze. His shoulders were bunched and his wet bangs fell in his face. He sighed, taking in a deep breath.
"I miss you," he said, finally looking up, a sad smile lifting his lips. It was the same kind of smile Itachi used to give him, sad and trying so desperately to hide it.
"You see me all the time," Sasuke replied, somehow, though his mouth was dry and his throat closed off.
"It's not the same," Naruto shook his head. "I know we…fell apart. I know it was probably my fault. I didn't try harder to talk to you. I just let it happen and kept pretending like it wasn't happening—"
"Naruto—"
"—but I miss you! And I don't think I can do this anymore without you!"
"Naruto," Sasuke tried to keep his voice steady, to ignore all the things Naruto had left unsaid, to keep him from finding out how much hearing all those things meant. He had to rein this in, couldn't let it go to his head. "You're just upset because your wife is gone. You don't need me. You'll be fine."
Water droplets flew from his hair as he shook his head intently.
"You're wrong! This isn't just because of—because she's gone. I've missed you for a long time. I hated not talking to you and arguing with you and fighting with you! It felt like there was a part of my life missing! I thought I'd be okay with it but I'm not. I'm just not. You're my best friend and I miss you!"
Sasuke's mind was reeling. He'd really thought Naruto didn't notice his distance; he thought Naruto had moved on years ago, started his own life and was better off. Sasuke thought he was the only one still hurting, still waking up every day feeling empty.
"What do you want me to say?" he finally asked, voice soft. He was trying not to misinterpret Naruto's words. He missed Sasuke as a friend, a best friend, nothing else. But the flame of hope in his heart flickered stronger anyway.
"Just," he huffed, rubbing a hand over his eyes and though his damp hair, "don't stay so far away anymore. I know things were—they were weird between us, and it's my fault, and I'm sorry! But just promise me you'll be my—my friend, again. You said you'd be by my side, you promised, and I need you there now, okay?"
He looked up defiantly into Sasuke's eyes, and that was the look that always drew Sasuke in, made him want to be a better person because Naruto wanted him to be. His resolve was crumbling looking into those determined eyes. It was like staring into the sun.
"Say you'll be my best friend again," he said, a pleading edge to his voice that hadn't been there before. It shot straight to Sasuke's heart. He closed his eyes.
"Okay," he agreed. When he opened his eyes Naruto's expression had gone lax, his entire posture was like he'd been holding his breath and finally he could let it out. The bags under his eyes were more pronounced than ever—he still hadn't slept. Had this been worrying his mind so much, with everything else that had happened?
"Alright," Sasuke added, nodding his head and standing. He reached down to help Naruto to his feet as well before the blond passed out on his living room floor. "I promise I won't keep my distance anymore."
"Sasuke," Naruto murmured, exhaustion written in every line of his body.
"Now get back home to your son," Sasuke said as he was pushing Naruto out the door. "He's probably wondering where you are."
He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, taking a long, deep breath in.
He had no idea what was going to happen next.
*** Reference to the japanese folk tale that says that if it rains while the sun is shining, a fox spirit is getting married.